Recently our car was booted for having three parking tickets.
Neither whats-her-name nor I can figure out where or why these
tickets but it just doesn't matter.  The car was booted and in
order to prevent the car from being towed the next day and
the additional huge towing fee and storage fee I scheduled to 
take the day off work and take the bus (since the car was
booted and normally take the bus these days) to pay (cash no 
checks or credit cards) to get the car back.  I decided to 
head downtown since I figured I could pay and get from there
to work (yeah, I finally work downtown)
with less time lost than taking the bus to the far southside.
WRONG.  The downtown location is also a 'court' where I have
to stand in line along with the convicts (I never had a trial
or was convicted) to pay the bribe to get me car back.  Finally
get to the cashier and instead of the little over 300$US to
pay she says its closer to 500$US.  Wassup with that, I called
the number and was told the amount earlier that morning.  Well,
she doesn't know nuthin abouts dat and its more like 500$US.
Well, I'd already maxed out the daily limit on the ATM machine
so I had to taxi over to my bank and withdraw more money, so
ok so far.


But here's the problem.  I couldn't enter the court building
at first on account I was carrying a deadly weapon - my old
Leatherman Tool(R) which among other things has a knife blade.
(Think pocket knife only more useful)  So I convinced the arab
attendant at a nearby  parking lot to hold it for me (for a price, 
at first he didn't want anything to do with it).

Near as I could figure out because they wouldn't give me a
receipt as the car is in whats-her-name's name on account I
don't like my name on anything and the clerk only would tell
me the dates of the tickets, the car we donated in Mary Remmer's
name to the Salvation Army some time ago was getting parking
tickets after but that doesn't matter either.  The funny thing is 
we successfully contested one of three tickets we got for not
having a current City Parking Sticker (for car we didn't own
by then) while it sat parked waiting for the Salvation Army to 
finally pick it up by enclosing a copy of the receipt for the 
donation along with a letter challenging the ticket - one challenge
was accepted and two were denied, both of which we paid.  

Anyways, I finally paid the protection money to the local
mob and headed back to work.

Naturally in all the fuss and confusion I forgot about my
Leatherman Tool(R), an X-mas gift from my brother-in-law some ten
years or so ago.  I headed back to the arab's parking lot (5$US
cab fare) got it, and headed back to work (25$US cab fare on
account it was the really nice day and the bridge got stuck up -
yuppie scum tie up traffic in middle of city to sail their boats
from drydock to harbor (where they don't pay mooring fee since
1980s - bet they don't boot boats...).  So for a gift (0$US) I spend
additional time away from work and cash money to retrieve something 
I recently bought two of at an outlet in missouri (road trip to 
texas).  Go figure.  Was that stupid or what.

5 responses total.

This response has been erased.

It's a wonder Timothy McVeigh didn't blow up Chicago City Hall...

It is 'honest graft' so mostly it is tolerated.  But they are going
a bit overboard and people are starting to complain.  It used to
be that it was 100 tickets got you booted, then they cut back to
50, then they purchased more boots and cut it back to 10 then 7
and now three tickets gets you booted.  Another clever thing they
do is put up a couple signs for street cleaninging along a block.
They seem to do this later in the evening and then boom, bright
and early the next morning they start ticketing.  The streets and
san people like it because they get a cut of the proceeds.  You kinda
have to be aware of the whole block as far as looking for the signs
of the signs (string aroung any of the trees, etc.). I've almost been
caught three times since they started these tactics and make it
a practice to walk by the car in the morning even if not going
to work until later.  There have been rumbles to the aldermans
offices and letters to the editor about both the booting practices
and the notification of street cleaning.  Its sort of a sticky
problem for the city because on the one hand its a significant
source of revenue for the city and for politically connected
private firms.  But on the otherhand, they do have to get elected
after all, and they remember how one snowstorm got a whole bunch
thrown out.

You Chi-towners hold your pols responsible for the weather?!?!  That's
innovative!

Of course.  Jane-'the bitch'-I got one term out of one
snow storm.

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