I dont how to talk to a girl either in a singles bar or in a dance club. so
please suggest some good pickup lines.

124 responses total.

damn. can't i even write a single line with a typo

see :). again. i ain't good

        "Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"

        It'll get you slapped 99 times out of 100.
        Bring bactine and try it 100 times.

"Hi.  How are you?" always seems to work with us...  Funny, that.

..and don't stare at her all creepy-like when you say it.

"So do you want to fuck, or do I owe you an apology?"

Much like resp:3, this will get you slapped a lot, but it does
occasionally work.

I thought "Have you read any good books lately?" always works.

In my bachelor days I always led with "What was Bach's middle
name?"  If she didn't know, I'd cross her off.  If she said
"Sebastian", that was marginally acceptable, but if she asked
"Which Bach?", she was definitely worth further effort.

<grin>

hehe.  Well, that's class-- be specific and narrow it down =)

Your name must be Paradise, because I'll bet its like heaven inside you.

me lay, you lay?

vietnam ... again????

I don't know that I'm likely to have any good advice.  Singles bars &
dance clubs typically are smokey (I detest cigarette smoke), plus there
is this dancing thing (I don't dance), the music is rarely the sort I
seek out, & it's usually so noisy you can't talk anyway.  Shout, maybe.

If I were serious and clueless about this, though, here's what I'd do.
First, I'd visit the place, pick a dark corner out of the way, and just
watch.  Every place has its different "norms", and what would be
appropriate behavior in one place is going to be flat out unacceptable
elsewhere.  What I'd be looking for is patterns in how groups come in
and associate, how strangers interact, &etc.  Some places may turn out
to have mostly couples that come in pre-associated - other places may
have singles who come in to meet other people, or gays, or lesbians, or
older people, or younger, etc.  In some places, different groups may
come on different nights.  I might be able to pre-prune places by asking
friends first.  When strangers meet, I'd watch to see what they do.
This varies by culture, region, and a whole bunch of other stuff, so if
I wasn't a local, I might well have good reason to be clueless.

So far as actually what to say when actually meeting women; there's
definitely no one good thing that will work for everyone.  For some
people, there is nothing good you could say.  It's almost certainly
worth getting used to the notion of "rejection" and expecting a lot of
false starts.  Even if you say the right thing to them, there is also
the possibility that you may quickly realize you *don't* want to know
them; so you should be prepared for this too.  You can often read a lot
about a person's character from their appearance and demeanor.  Fancy
clothes = they may care about their appearance.  Book stuck into purse =
might read.  Every culture, and local micro-culture, has tons more
clues.  Learn to read them.  As a general rule, most women respond
positively to compliments about their appearance.  This does not mean
comments about their breast size (at least not in the american
mid-west); but comments about hair style, eye color, necklace, dress,
etc., are usually good.  If there's something unusual or striking about
the person, mentioning that is good, even better if it's something
subtle - it shows you actually paid attention to the person, and might
be interested in them for their personality and not just as a lump of
meat.  It's not bad to start with your name, as "Hi, I'm Tim.  I
couldn't help but notice your hair; I really like that color." If this
is a dance hall, where singles meet, you might be able to just follow
that up with "Would you like to dance?" Or, in the case of a
singles-bar, the established norm (and here's where that research will
come in handy!) may be to say "Would you like a drink?"

As a general rule, I think that when meeting a new person, there are
several things you/that person what to do.  The first is you want to
find out something about the other person, who they are, what they're
about, where they came from, where they're going, all that sort of
stuff.  The 2nd is you want to tell that person something about
yourself.  The 3rd is, if that person is someone you think you might
want to know better, you want to keep them entertained.  The 4th is, if
that person is someone you don't want to know better, you want to find
out quickly, so there are as few hurt feelings or annoyance as possible.
There's stuff you can do even *before* you meet the person, that can
speed all this.  The first is figuring out how you dress, what you
bring, and any personal ornaments.  Just like being able to comment on a
woman's necklace is useful, what you wear yourself for your tie, watch,
t-shirt, jacket, shoes, if you bring a book, sketch pad; all these are
making a personal statement about yourself and your values, and some of
these may provide an "ice-breaker" - something for a woman to say to
*you* that they're interested in you, that gives you an opportunity to
say something about yourself, or an excuse to have an interesting tale
to tell.

Doing something usual, or being unusual in some way, can definitely
provide your opening line for you.  When I was a kid, I found I could
meet a lot of people, and incidently hone an artistic skill I wish I had
kept up, by asking to sketch people.  Some people say "no".  Some people
say "yes".  Sometimes, people who say "no" for a photograph will say
"yes" for a sketch.  Since it was the practice that was important to me,
I usually gave the sketch to the people involved.  I met a lot of people
as a teenager this way, and this takes almost no people skill at all,
just artistic talent.  As an adult, I've found a motorcycle sometimes
works the same way.

I can tell from the above that jazz/bru/void have their minds in the
gutter, and remmers/rcurl are definitely way higher class.  The two r's
are also doing something else less obvious; besides sorting out what the
woman is about, they're saying something about themselves.  Occasionally
I wish I had the balls to do the former, but I'm afraid I've long since
decided I'd much rather know a lot more about a woman before moving to
that stage of things.  "Creepy stares" comments always scare me; I'd
hate to come across as creepy, but I think there's something essentially
creepy about the whole process of meeting members of the other sex.

Uhuh..., its so...biological.  '...the results are fleeting, and
the positions are rediculous.'

re#13: no.  Korea. H. Richard Hornberger.

John has gotten a lot of mileage out of Bach.  I can remember the precise
moment he won my heart.  We were browsing State Street and had ducked into
Radio Shack.  Previously he'd mentioned playing the piano and harpsichord
so I asked if he'd try out an electronic keyboard.  I wanted to hear him
play. He walked up to a deluxe model, futzed some with the settings, and
the next sound I heard was a Bach fugue but instead of the traditional
sound all notes were dog barks in pitch.

My kind of pick-up for sure.

Marcus, how do you use a motorcycle to meet people and do you really wear a
tie with your t-shirt?

Jim discovered he could meet people (at least people on bikes) by biking home
with two bikes strapped on the back of his.  There are much better places to
meet compatible people than a bar, assuming you have any interests outside
of drinking and sex.  I actually did meet one friend at a party, but it was
a party where you were all supposed to be talking Russian.  At a square dance
I met one friend by taking pity on the worst dancer there.
You  could have your own party and ask your friends to bring friends.

Any kind of unusual vehicle can be a way to meet people.  When I drove
an old VW I had a lot of conversations with strangers at gas stations.

Jim used to meet other people with old Jeeps when he drove his, but it had
something to do with him stopping to rescue them and fix their Jeeps.

View hidden response.

Speaking of Jims Jeeps, does he have an FC-150 or FC-170  in his 'collection'?

        I don't think I've ever been characterized as having my mind in the
gutter for responding flippantly to a question that's almost certainly a
capsule version of a much more siginficant issue;  if someone's having trouble
meeting people in nightclubs, then they're obviously having problems meeting
them elsewhere, too, and that's indicative of something more difficult than
just a lack of the right thing to say, or the right approach.

        I'd recommend Sharyn Wolf's _Guerilla Dating Tactics_ if someone
honestly came to me with that problem.  It's a no-nonsense guide to modern
American dating, and the approaches therein seem as if they'd work.

Jim sold his three Jeeps - Cherokee and Wagoneer, 1978 and 1979.  It took
about 2 years to sell them to the right person (mostly for parts).  We are
into collecting dead bikes now instead.

So, where have people met members of the opposite sex that became to
some degree "regular" dates, at least for a period? I have met such
at a square dance, a Scottish Country dance, a meeting of cave explorers,
an English pub, a friend of a friend, church young-peoples socials, 
and college acquaintance dances. The most comfortable situations have
been activities, such as square/country dances and meetings of special
interest groups, where you are *expected* to become acquainted and 
participate with people you are just meeting for the first time. I
don't think I ever intentionally used a "pick-up line" that was unrelated
to an activity. 

Well, I met my wife when she was dating one of my housemates...  (not like
it sounds; she went out with him for three years after that, and I was going
out with other people, and we eventually got together when  we were both
single ;-).  I've met previous women in the dorms, in class, at parties, and
at science fiction cons.  And on M-Net.  Sounds like your strategy's pretty
solid, Rane -- meet women at activities both of you enjoy and that have a
community around them you're both part of.

#16 is hilarious.

I've met serious partners at school, in church youth group, on Grex and at
work.

I've met a fair number of people on Grex, and at my martial arts school. 
Lately I've been playing around with one of those Internet "meet people"
sites, which is actually proving pretty fun.

Hmmm well, I have dated a couple of guys I met on Mnet. Otherwise, 
pretty much everyone I have been involved with, I either met through 
work or school or I was introduced by mutual friends. 

I have never in my life gone to a special interest meeting, activity or 
bar and met someone I ended up dating. I have met a lot of people while 
walking my dog in the park but no dating situation came out of that. 

I think I am just the kind of person people have to get to know first 
before they even want to date me. *shrug* I can only think of one 
regular dating situation that started as a dating situation. Every 
other time, I was friends with the person first (sometimes for years). 
 

i hooked up with my gal by moving her couch.

well, we shot some pool and talked about dogs a few months before that.

in Theatres...  (go figure)

Relationships which start in bars usually end in them as well.

so Barry, where did you meet your gal. Wasnt it a BAR?!!!? 

yup.  i guess we better not go to bars together.

I met my wife when she was a customer.  When I realized that she was
smart, well-read, about my age, college-educated but relaxed about occupation
AND knew the standard orchestra works, I approached and said, "Madam, come
to my house and I will put on Barber's Adagio for Strings and have my way with
you."

It scared the crap out of her, but at least she didn't have me fired.  This
is the ONLY pick-up line I have ever used and it seems to have eventually
worked, in spite of her trying her best to avoid me on her next trip to the
store.

Well, as far as I could tell, neither happyboy nor his gal had gone to
the bar for pickup purposes.

Yeah but they might need to stay away from bars just in case, you know?

        I'm kinda curious as to how fitz salvaged that one into a marriage.

        Oddly enough, the longest relationship I've had has been with someone
that I met at a GREX event, though, at the time, she wasn't a regular GREXer;
GREX is only tangiental, though, because I knew two of her friends well at
the time.

        The last few that I can think of off the top of my head:  random
meeting of an old coworker (from 7+ years ago, when I worked with JEP) at a
coffeeshop where we both knew the owner well;  extended conversation at a
laundromat over how to fix a broken washer;  ran into at a friend's party at
a bar that she wouldn't normally go to;  wound up playing with and flirting
with at a bar pool table, got my ass handed to me, too.

How can I meet people with the motorcycle?  Well a bunch of ways
actually.  Firstly, the motorcycle itself attracts attention.  This
happens at gas stations (sometimes), or if I park it to go to some event
or thing, or come back and am suiting up.  Secondly, I know other people
who ride.  That means I have an excuse to go hang out with them, which
means I get to meet more people that way.  There's a regular wednesday
thing in A^2 (was main, now on south U) in the summers, so now I know
more people that way.  3rdly, there are mailing lists of people who
ride.  I'm on one of those mailing lists, and that gave me a chance 2
years ago to go on a variety of trips (to Colorado, Tennessee, Mass.) to
meet these people and ride with them.  4thly, with the motorcycle, I
have the gear, which I can't easily stow on the motorcycle, so I end up
walking around wearing a bright yellow all-in-one garment and carrying a
helmet.  This attracts quite a bit of attention and is certainly at the
least a chance to talk about the importance of wearing good motorcycle
riding gear.  So, um, yes, it's quite easy to meet people because of the
motorcycle.  I can't recommend it as a way to meet unattached women
however.  There are plenty of women riders, and I've certainly met quite
a few; but there are many more male riders than female, so the
competition is pretty fierce and the unattached ones pretty scarce.  One
of the things I've noticed which I find quite odd is it's remarkable how
young some kids are when they see the motorcycle as "interesting".  I
sure don't remmeber being that interested when I was that age.  It was
trains for me.

Tie?  I don't believe in wearing a mobile noose.  I *have* seen t-shirts
that had a printed on suit jacket and tie, but I haven't managed to
score one yet.

#37>
Well, as I wrote, she continued to shop where I worked, but tried to avoid
me.  The next week, when she need some assistance, she made certain that she
went to a presumably more senior employee (because of his white hair) for a
product not on the shelves.  He witless brought her right to me, since he ad
no idea of where to look for what she wanted.

I brought out a case of the product she wanted and I said, "If you won't
simply sleep with me, would marry me?  Look. I brought you your favorite
yogurt."

She was stunned again.  She said it was the best offer that she had had in
a long time, but no.

For about one month I didn't see her and waited for the store director to tell
me that it was time for me to fetch my pink slip.  Instead, she had thought
it over and decided that I might be safely handled in a public restaurant,
where I could attempt to demonstrate that I was neither a feral child nor
brain-damaged.

Being the kind of guy that can take NO for an answer, I met her in the
retaurant and then in a park never thinking for a moment that these meetings
were part of a courtship.   I didn't have a hint until she gave me a kiss that
gave me the first case of varicocele I had had in two decades.  (Furthermore,
I had to walk home with that pain.)

This is a true story:  I don't have the imagination to make it up.

- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss