|
|
| Author |
Message |
| 25 new of 55 responses total. |
jazz
|
|
response 9 of 55:
| 
Mar 27 23:40 UTC 2002 |
The only thing that makes me uncomfortable about oral sex is that some
people insist on calling it just "oral", which is an adjective, and not a
noun. It's weird, but that really bugs me, way out of porportion to any
other adjective being used as a noun.
I'd say the politics are the same; if I ran into someone who wouldn't
go down on me, I'd stop going down on them. I must have been exceptionally
fortunate, because although I've run into a few people who have issues from
their past, I haven't run into anyone who wasn't into it.
|
oval
|
|
response 10 of 55:
|
Mar 27 23:49 UTC 2002 |
one thing that bugs me about _head_ (n.) when people feel automatically
obligated to reciprocate.
the thing phenix said about 'guys think it make them weak' - i think that
can go both ways. _head_ often becomes a 'service' and not sex. shitty.
|
jazz
|
|
response 11 of 55:
|
Mar 28 00:02 UTC 2002 |
Okay, I'm with you there. But people need to be less uptight about
sex anyways. You don't see people getting as worked up over who enjoyed
rollerblading more, or whether they were both into that scenic drive.
|
morwen
|
|
response 12 of 55:
|
Mar 28 00:08 UTC 2002 |
what some women don't seem to understand is how much power you can have
over a man when you give him head. If I offer to give Jon head, he'll
do almost anything I ask, provided I don't go overboard and provided
also that deliver on my offer in the first place.
Manipulating someone with an offer of head and then not delivering is
not wise. I would stop trusting someone who got me to do something for
them with and offer of head and then didn't provide.
|
flem
|
|
response 13 of 55:
|
Mar 28 00:17 UTC 2002 |
Uh oh, there goes one of my buttons. Do you really want to turn sex into a
currency? There's a word for that...
|
cyklone
|
|
response 14 of 55:
|
Mar 28 00:44 UTC 2002 |
Here's a story I thought was interesting and may fit in this item:
A guy I know (who I suspect has "issues" re/women) started hanging out
with the gf of someone he knew who had moved to another state. She was
never clear on the status of that relationship. She did start hanging out
a lot with my friend, including late at night, sleeping over, etc. Classic
tease behavior, some might say. Apparently things progressed to kissing
and then him going down on her. She would not reciprocate, and eventually
she stopped seeing him because she felt guilty.
While I certainly see some fault on her part because of her unresolved
feelings, I also have a hard time feeling as sorry for him as he feels for
himself.
|
jaklumen
|
|
response 15 of 55:
|
Mar 28 02:08 UTC 2002 |
They're both choads.
There's also the skill issue. Supposedly, some guys don't know what
spots are pleasurable down there. And then there's the guy wish that
a girl will continue to fellate and not get a sore jaw.
I highly recommend the Nina Hartley videos for tips or finding a good
self-help book with pictures.
|
oval
|
|
response 16 of 55:
|
Mar 28 02:18 UTC 2002 |
and practice practice practice!!!
|
jazz
|
|
response 17 of 55:
|
Mar 28 02:27 UTC 2002 |
I'm with Greg. The idea that anyone would view sex as an exercise in
power over someone both disturbs and angers me. I don't think I've ever wound
up with someone like that, but if I did, I would leave in a heartbeat. But
then I don't react well at all to most manipulative tactics, and I've noticed
that people who are normally manipulative don't seem to try it around me, at
least not in the more obvious ways.
|
michaela
|
|
response 18 of 55:
|
Mar 28 07:05 UTC 2002 |
Jon - smart women will do many other things, including things with their
mouth, until the sore cheeks/jaw goes away.
|
eeyore
|
|
response 19 of 55:
|
Mar 29 02:54 UTC 2002 |
I've never had any issues with oral sex, other than the fact that it does
absolutely nothing for me. I get bored. I kinda feel bad about that too,
since there have been a few guys that have tried really really hard, and I
certainly don't blame them!!!
As for giving oral, once again, as a basic deed, I have no issues with it.
For myself, I try to avoid it, for a few decent reasons. I tend to gag
pretty easily, and no guy wants to be puked on. I do have jaw issues, and
can't always open my mouth all the way. Also, when I'm excited, I tend to
be fairly nippy, and nobody wants to be bitten there. Lastly is the
taste...that whole gag things comes right back up as an issue. I've
certainly gone down on most guys I've dated, but the rule has almost always
been to let me know before anything comes out, or there will be hell to pay.
Yeah, the guys I've known would be thrilled to have me go down, but never
never never have I ever tried to use it as a power tool....that's just all
sorts of sick and wrong. Sex is a beautiful thing..,..don't try to ruin it
with power.
|
senna
|
|
response 20 of 55:
|
Mar 29 04:27 UTC 2002 |
I suspect, although I don't know, that people may be reading Julie a bit
harsher than she intended to be read.
Heck, there's even an argument that she was just being
tongue-on-dick-in-cheek.
|
michaela
|
|
response 21 of 55:
|
Mar 29 10:05 UTC 2002 |
Senna!!! :)
|
jazz
|
|
response 22 of 55:
|
Mar 29 13:33 UTC 2002 |
That's true, I suppose, Steve, but it wouldn't be the first time that
someone was speaking sarcastically and got taken seriously for lack of a ";)"
somewhere in the message.
On #19, I've never been with anyone who didn't enjoy cunninlingus.
Many women aren't comfortable enough with it to bring themselves to orgasm;
that's not uncommon at all and usually goes away with a little encouragement
and practice. But I've never been with anyone it did *nothing* for; it begs
the question if it's not the act, but the people who've gone down on you that
did nothing for you.
|
void
|
|
response 23 of 55:
|
Mar 29 20:05 UTC 2002 |
I'm inclined to agree with jazz, eeyore. It sounds like you've had some
rotten luck and met some real cunnilingual morons.
|
oval
|
|
response 24 of 55:
|
Mar 29 21:04 UTC 2002 |
i'll agree also. and i just can't stand that word - cunnilingus -
|
jazz
|
|
response 25 of 55:
|
Mar 29 23:14 UTC 2002 |
It doesn't roll off the tongue well, does it? That's inappropriate.
|
phenix
|
|
response 26 of 55:
|
Mar 29 23:20 UTC 2002 |
how about going down?
that term sit wit you better?
|
oval
|
|
response 27 of 55:
|
Mar 29 23:21 UTC 2002 |
i like head.
:D
|
oval
|
|
response 28 of 55:
|
Mar 29 23:22 UTC 2002 |
lol!@ #25 btw
|
phenix
|
|
response 29 of 55:
|
Mar 29 23:40 UTC 2002 |
head eh? that work
|
jazz
|
|
response 30 of 55:
|
Mar 30 17:23 UTC 2002 |
On the subject of #27 - who, outside of eeyore, DOESN'T like head?
|
jaklumen
|
|
response 31 of 55:
|
Mar 31 05:15 UTC 2002 |
resp:18 Well, yes. The key is you said *smart*.
resp:20 I think Julie meant that you get a lot of favorable
response. Hey, this guy will beg and grovel as far as that's
concerned.
resp:23 resp:22 resp:19 I also agree with jazz and void. Those few
guys may have tried hard, but maybe they still didn't know what they were
doing. Both the woman and the man need to be educated as far as oral
stimulation of the female genitals is concerned. First of all.. it has to do
with the clitoris, and not the vagina (assuming that's it.) Then there's
experimentation, finding out what works.. what amount of stimulation and
pressure is right, etc.
In our last sex cf, I seem to remember that much of the consensus was
that semen is an acquired taste, so to speak. I don't know if putting
food on top helps any, such as body butter, chocolate, honey.. Can't
remember the old item, but perhaps looking back is worth it.
|
jazz
|
|
response 32 of 55:
|
Mar 31 08:21 UTC 2002 |
Well, yes, and no. I've been told that some guys are blissfully
unaware of the existence of the clitoris, but it really doesn't seem like
that closely guarded of a secret to me. I mean, it's right there. Unless
you're not paying any attention whatsoever, you'd at least wonder what the
little nub is for, and might chance to brush up against it in the process of
fingering. So I don't buy the argument that bad head is the result of men
who don't know what a clitoris is.
Now, men who don't know what to do with it (or, I understand from a
friend, women) are a different story. Different people need different
degrees of stimulation. Some women are capable of having the normally
covered portion of the clitoris stimulated immediately, and some can't handle
anything except for indirect stimulation at all. I can completely buy
someone not doing THAT right, or learning one particular way and continuing
to use it with people it doesn't apply with.
The REAL key with head, though, is enjoying it. And letting your
partner know you enjoy it. It's a complete turn-on to have a partner who
really enjoys giving you pleasure and would prefer at times that you simply
enjoy yourself while they give it to you. If someone has issues with their
body, I can see accepting even the most direct partner being difficult.
|
eeyore
|
|
response 33 of 55:
|
Mar 31 16:17 UTC 2002 |
Actually, I'm pretty sure that it's me and not the guys, and deffinately
know that one of the guys is thought of highly in that area.
You guys do realise that this doesn't bug me at all, right? :)
|