response 851 of 1000:

Jun 9 20:02 UTC 2002

        It's almost like an eight game series now.

response 853 of 1000:

Jun 9 21:01 UTC 2002

Very nice weekend with my parents out to visit.  And some *very* annoyed
neighbors after the 1:30 a.m. game-winning goal last night ;)

response 855 of 1000:

Jun 10 02:40 UTC 2002

IHB I read a week's worth newspapers this afternoon.  I may get through them
all yet.

response 857 of 1000:

Jun 10 05:38 UTC 2002

IHB i went through a big stack of 30+ cd's of poorly orgainsed hasty backup
info, and threw out everything i didnt need an reburned them into 3 nicely
oprganised cds. then wiped my drive. ahhhhhh .....

response 859 of 1000:

Jun 10 13:54 UTC 2002

I am relieved that I've managed to get through the last two weeks
Friends and Grexers that I only see occassionally most likely don't 
know how bad it is right now, mainly because I have, for the most part, 
chosen to keep it out of a public forum.  

Mooncat on the other hand, as she is my roommate, has a very good 
idea.  I'm sure I have tried her patience upon occassion.  The weekends 
were especially rough, especially Saturday, June 1, when it seemed like 
I wasn't going to see Sunday.  Many thanks to Mooncat and a non-Grexer 
friend for support.

Thankfully my Celexa prescription has been increased to half the adult 
dosage, and hopefully when I get used to the dosage, I won't bottom out 
like I did over the past couple of weeks, at least to the extent that I 
did recently.  I will probably be at normal dosage before the end of 
the summer, if I even require 40mg.  I already take 300mg of Wellbutrin 
(which is mild, and is often used in combination with Celexa), which I 
barely noticed after a couple of weeks.  Here's to hoping I don't need 
any dosage increases.

I do often find it hard to get online these days, mainly because I only 
have so much energy for these things right now, and it doesn't help 
that currently my computer isn't always willing to connect to the 
internet for more than ten minutes at a time.  So my absences are 
usually like semi shut-downs, when I only do the things that I have to 
do from day to day.  I haven't decided if I will yet, but I am likely 
to stay away for a while, simply because there are some things I can't 
do at the moment.  I will always be able to get messages via e-mail or 
Mooncat.  

Since I'm trying like crazy to stay positive, albiet with little 
success at the moment, I'm putting this in the Happy Item.  I'll be 
honest, I can't with all honestly say that I'm happy (though I'm 
extremely good at faking happiness), but I'm trying to get there.  I'm 
certainly hoping the worst of this gets done soon.

response 861 of 1000:

Jun 11 07:17 UTC 2002

(Hugs bhelliom)

response 863 of 1000:

Jun 11 12:35 UTC 2002

Sindi, that's really hard to explain.  There's nothing *immediate* that 
is the cause, other then Depression itself.  I'm not stressed about my 
job, I have a great roommate, no money isues that threaten to bury me, 
and my family's not a problem.  Okay, so they can be annoying 
sometimes, but that's not going to inspire me to increase my 
antidepressant dosage. :)

I'm not going to pretend that going through this makes me an expert, 
but I do know that the lower one sinks into Depression, the harder it 
is to do things you enjoy (if you even attempt to do them), taking care 
of tasks in general is rather tough.  It amazes me sometimes just how 
hard it can be.  Sometimes it seems easier to cut things out for a 
while so you don't have to worry about doing them.  And the more things 
you cut out, the easier it is to do the things that you absolutely 
*have* to do.  I'm an extremely social person, so I try my hardest not 
to do these things, because I know I'll fare much worse if I do.  As 
for the underlying causes and issues, that's what I'm going to therapy 
for. Those are even more complicated to explain. I can't delve to 
deeply into them yet, even in therapy, until I've got to the right 
dosage and am level, which means no repeats of June 1.  Thanks for the 
inquiry, Sindi.

I've decided to start a depression series going come Summer Agora and 
linking it to Inferno, which is now a Psyche conf.

On a cool note, I watched my first hockey game yesterday.  I don't 
remember if I've ever seen one before.  I've been getting more 
interested over the last few years, so it was exciting to sit with 
someone who knew the game and could tell me a few tidbits.  Great game 
between the Red Wings and Hurricanes.  I was absolutely entralled, and 
it was an adreneline rush just sitting there watching them skate all 
over the place.  And Body by Fisher was interesting to watch, too.  I 
know that face punch must have hurt.  I'll be watching Thursday for 
sure.

<hugs clees>

response 865 of 1000:

Jun 11 13:48 UTC 2002

re #859- No worries, and like I said- anytime.

IHB- last night's game was fun to watch. And it was fun talking to some 
new-ish neighbors, AND meeting a neighbors new rescue kitten- he's so 
tiny, maybe 4-5 weeks old (his eyes are still blue). Paul found him 
near where he works and brought him home when it was obvious he needed 
one. (Paul said he might name him Laimbeer, but I told him Yzerman 
would be better)

response 867 of 1000:

Jun 11 13:59 UTC 2002

Ireland won!!!  Ireland won!!!!

response 869 of 1000:

Jun 11 15:37 UTC 2002

They didn't just lose - they went down in a blaze of glory.

response 871 of 1000:

Jun 11 15:57 UTC 2002

I'm lost, Greg. Did you had surgery on your nose? (I had to skip many 
postings in order to catch up, and I'm in the process of reading them).

Thanks very much, mynxcat.  I can't remember exactly what you comment 
was.  Something about the moon. :)

You think it's that French joie de vivre that makes them lose with such 
flaire?

response 873 of 1000:

Jun 11 16:24 UTC 2002

Yes, I did have surgery on my nose.  My sinuses will be complaining for weeks.