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6 new of 71 responses total.
void
response 66 of 71: Mark Unseen   Jun 28 21:26 UTC 2002

   Well, now, choice has become a loaded word.  Choice is not some
sacrosanct, unassailable, gods-given right to do whatever the fuck you
please and not be criticized or accept responsibility for it...but
that's probably another discussion altogether.

   If people choose to live as cowards, they shouldn't be surprised
when others are disgusted by them.
lelande
response 67 of 71: Mark Unseen   Jun 29 07:15 UTC 2002

how are they cowards, again? choosing to live by personal interests over those
of others also shouldn't be surprised when others are disgusted by them, but
living by personal interests over those of others isn't necessarily cowardice.
it's possibly very brave.
jaklumen
response 68 of 71: Mark Unseen   Jun 29 09:39 UTC 2002

I remember my discussion with someone who pointed out to me that from a 
historical perspective, people weren't defined by what they did 
sexually until about 150 years ago.  I'm still puzzled why that would 
be.  And why must it be?  Really, why should sexuality define who you 
are?

As best I can tell, the solution must be something of a political one.  
It reeks of progressives chiding conservatives, and vice versa.  
(Oddly, the frame of perspective is given by both.)

resp:55 yeah, pretending to do nothing is rather bogus, but I still 
present the case that there are two options: live with your sexuality.. 
or change it.  Don't ape it because it's trendy or acceptable (on 
either side), but be confident about who you are.  Trumpeting it on the 
street may get you the support/admiration/respect of others, but it's 
*your* responsibility to accept yourself.

Denial is wrong either way you go.  Your sexuality *is* a part of you, 
but you do have a decision on what you want to do with it.

Again, some may submit I'm wrong for nipping away at a part of me that 
I haven't found to be very compatible.  Oh well.  It doesn't go 
perfectly, but I am happy with the way things are.

If *you* are happy, does what others think ultimately matter?
oval
response 69 of 71: Mark Unseen   Jul 1 01:32 UTC 2002

if you're happy then tyhat's great. but i have trouble accepting that you are
based on a lot of your posts. i also have trouble believing that when you say,
"be confident about who you are" and then say that you're "nipping away at
a part of me that 
 I haven't found to be very compatible" don't seem to correspond very well.

jaklumen
response 70 of 71: Mark Unseen   Jul 1 04:39 UTC 2002

Carrie, you know at times I have difficulty expressing myself, and we 
have talked about all this before, too.

Suffice it to say I feel like a work in progress.  Sometimes I hurt 
because it's hard; because I don't stay true.  Change isn't easy.  But 
I didn't appreciate those who professed to support me earlier 
saying "you're oppressed," "you're in denial," "you're lying to 
yourself," etc.

My experience was as time went on was that I would have to choose 
between principle that otherwise guided my life and some feelings that 
were getting in the way of that.  Some said, "change that principle," 
although not in quite those words.

Actually, to be honest, sex in general has ruled my life.  When I can 
be sure that I am the master again (for I do not believe in fate; I 
know that I have agency), then I am sure the matter will be much 
clearer.
jaklumen
response 71 of 71: Mark Unseen   Jul 1 04:42 UTC 2002

..which actually, to say, my experience on that matter has been hardly 
anything romanticized nor idealistically loving.  Pure.. addiction.  
Use 'em, leave 'em.
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