|
Grex > Cflirt > #17: Reparative therapy-- Change and healing is possible. | |
|
| Author |
Message |
| 21 new of 84 responses total. |
morwen
|
|
response 64 of 84:
| 
Apr 4 10:35 UTC 2002 |
resp:63 I have funny feeling I may seem to have contradicted myself
somewhere.
Allow me to clarify a bit more. "I have these gay feelings because of
something about me that is broken or not functioning properly.
Please, help me figure out what it is so that I can fix it."
Hopefully, that is closer.
|
brighn
|
|
response 65 of 84:
|
Apr 4 15:38 UTC 2002 |
Julie, if your complaint is that my characterization of Exodus is that the
people who go there are passively and dependently asking Exodus to "fix them,"
rather than taking responsibility for their own "fixing" by reaching out for
help, ok, I'll accept that. I'll amend to "Exodus helps people who don't want
to be gay to not be gay."
Jon, on a different thread, get off it. Suggesting that Julie should be given
special treatment because she's pregnant, or that I should "cut her some
slack" (private email) because she's pregnant, is disempowering garbage. Julie
is an adult, she made the adult choice to get pregnant (IIRC, if not, she made
the adult choice to engage in acts that might make her pregnant, and the adult
choice to stay pregnant), I'm not going to put on kid gloves and start
treating her like a child. As she said, she can defend herself. Just because
you're LDS doesn't mean you have to act like Brigham Young.
|
morwen
|
|
response 66 of 84:
|
Apr 4 21:27 UTC 2002 |
lol. Be nice, Paul. Thank you very much for the vote of confidence.
Jon, thank you for attempting to defend me. Gentlemen, I concur with
Paul in this case. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I should be
treated differently. And Paul, I think you should probably give Jon a
little credit. He's going to be a daddy soon and it's his first time.
I think you could stand to be a little nicer to him. I don't think he
was acting like Brigham Young. I think he was acting like a
protective husband.
In any case. Maybe it is time to freeze this item and talk about
something else, if all we can do is argue. Lets just agree that we
disagree and move on. Okay?
|
jazz
|
|
response 67 of 84:
|
Apr 4 21:45 UTC 2002 |
One thing, to bring these two threads together, that's always bugged
me is the way that some people don't seperate a sexual preference and a
lifestyle. They really don't have anything to do with each other, other than
the fact that some groups seem to center around little in the way of common
interest except for a common sexual preference and a love for drama.
|
brighn
|
|
response 68 of 84:
|
Apr 4 22:41 UTC 2002 |
#66> Since you asked so nicely, I'll stop picking on Jon. ;} All the same,
I can't resist this, but I'll provide this preface so you KNOW I'm joking:
What, Julie? Now I'm supposed to be nice to Jon because HE's pregnant?
Boyoboy, you're just two peas in a pod, aren't you? Special treatment all
around.
|
snowth
|
|
response 69 of 84:
|
Apr 5 23:57 UTC 2002 |
(I'm glad you said it Paul, I was just about to make fun of Julie for the same
thing, but (a) you got to it first, and (b) you're already in trouble for
picking on the soon to be parents. :)
|
jaklumen
|
|
response 70 of 84:
|
Apr 6 10:17 UTC 2002 |
brighn: ignore e-mail reply then, I hadn't read this yet
yeah, yeah, I'm pregnant too, about to give birth to a fat cake
|
jazz
|
|
response 71 of 84:
|
Apr 6 14:38 UTC 2002 |
While reading through a book on the therapeutic techniques of Milton
Ericson, I noticed that, in almost every example of the great therapist's
work, he was deliberately acting as a normative, not just working with the
subject's problems, but also bringing them back in line with his percieved
notions of what a person should think and feel, and what their role in society
should be. It troubled me, and it still troubles me.
I'd also like to state that the idea that, if you are bisexual, that
you can and should have one partner of each gender, isn't necessarily a part
and parcel of bisexuality. I can't see how it's any different than a
heterosexual or homosexual who prefers, say, blondes and brunettes,
rationalizing that they should then have one partner of each gender. If
you've got an arranged polygamous relationship, or you're not in a committed
relationship, then you are of course free to do as you've negotiated, or as
you will. But if you go introducing the idea of bi privilege into a committed
relationship, don't be surprised if it has negative effects, and don't blame
bisexuality for it.
|
phenix
|
|
response 72 of 84:
|
Apr 6 15:18 UTC 2002 |
i'll take a burnette, a redhead and a blonde please.
with a side of gradients, maybe some blue or artificial red
|
morwen
|
|
response 73 of 84:
|
Apr 6 17:22 UTC 2002 |
jazz: hmm. Maybe I need to have this "bi privilege" thing defined
for me because I don't recall ever saying I was claiming it.
|
jazz
|
|
response 74 of 84:
|
Apr 6 18:11 UTC 2002 |
It's a local term for the concept that, if one is bisexual, one can
or should have a partner of each gender. Jon mentioned it a couple of
responses back, though not by that term, but I'm too lazy to go back and
quote.
|
phenix
|
|
response 75 of 84:
|
Apr 6 18:25 UTC 2002 |
oh hey, she can have a freind, as long as i'm the male partner for both
|
michaela
|
|
response 76 of 84:
|
Apr 6 18:47 UTC 2002 |
I've already told my boy that he can have a boy, but I get to watch...or at
least take pictures. He was all for it, but then he realized it would still
feel like cheating, even though I'd said it was okay (and encouraged it).
I feel bad that he won't get the experience of being with a guy, but I'm also
okay that he feels weird about touching anyone but me. :)
|
oval
|
|
response 77 of 84:
|
Apr 6 22:53 UTC 2002 |
menage a trois?
|
jazz
|
|
response 78 of 84:
|
Apr 6 23:42 UTC 2002 |
I think that's what she's getting at.
I actually had a girl I was in a committed relationship with bring the
idea up. I wasn't really into it. It would've been unhealthy for the
relationship unless it was just the right person.
|
oval
|
|
response 79 of 84:
|
Apr 6 23:50 UTC 2002 |
yea, it's easy to find a dynamic of 3 that's comfortable for everyone.
|
oval
|
|
response 80 of 84:
|
Apr 6 23:52 UTC 2002 |
err .._not_ easy.
|
michaela
|
|
response 81 of 84:
|
Apr 7 04:25 UTC 2002 |
Um, no. I didn't want a threesome. I wanted to watch and/or take pictures.
That does not mean "threesome". It means watch.
:)
|
jaklumen
|
|
response 82 of 84:
|
Apr 7 05:40 UTC 2002 |
resp:74 but then there is also the Bisexual Grand Slam, which is a
double of that variant.
|
oval
|
|
response 83 of 84:
|
Apr 7 23:18 UTC 2002 |
you think you could watch without wanting to jumo in? heh, i doubt that.
|
michaela
|
|
response 84 of 84:
|
Apr 8 07:31 UTC 2002 |
I don't doubt it. I know myself. :)
|