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| Author |
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| 25 new of 823 responses total. |
eskarina
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response 450 of 823:
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May 7 15:51 UTC 2002 |
re 447: In my limited experience, admitting you have sleep apnea and need
some treatment is about 80% of solving the problem. I had a friend in high
school whose dad had sleep apnea who refused to wear his cpap. My dad denied
having it for a long time as well. He's lots better now, and occasionally
remembers things I tell him :)
I've always used my little bouts of insomnia to read good books I've wanted
to read for awhile but never had the time. :) At least then I don't fell
like I wasted the time AND didn't sleep.
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void
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response 451 of 823:
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May 7 15:58 UTC 2002 |
I agree with Brighn in resp:449.
Sarah, the insane period will pass. It's just not easy being at the
loosest of loose ends and not knowing what to do with yourself because
such an important part of your life is gone. Find people you can hang
out with and do stuff with them. If you do some of the same stuff with
them that you did with Dave, it may seem a little weird but it will help
you start to realize that there is indeed life after a major breakup (it
may take a few weeks for that realization to really sink in, though).
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flem
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response 452 of 823:
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May 7 16:43 UTC 2002 |
re #450: Well, that and actually waiting for the stupid clinics in question
to have time to do something about it. :)
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jep
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response 453 of 823:
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May 7 17:19 UTC 2002 |
re #michaela: (I just came in for the first time since Thursday): I'm
sorry to hear about your break-up. Take your time; it's the best thing
I can tell you right now. It's not going to pass quickly, but you'll
get control over yourself in time -- so they tell me; I'm not sure it's
happened for me yet.
Seek help if you need it. It does help to be able to talk to someone.
I don't want anyone else, either. I want my wife back. But that's not
going to happen.
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jaklumen
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response 454 of 823:
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May 8 03:19 UTC 2002 |
resp:449 and resp:451 brighn, you are mistaken, and I'm very hurt..
actually, I'm more hurt in regards to void simply agreeing. I can
understand that Paul made an assumption, and respect that he realizes
that, but void, I would like an apology.
The pregnancy was very, very carefully thought out, and it only
proceeded with my consent, since I was very worried about providing
for the child. It was made when I had a full-time job. I had NO idea
that the job would not last, and I also did not realize that hours
would slump so with my current job.
We got pregnant when we both felt it was right. If I need to turn
away Uncle Sam's and any other charitable hand to make you all feel
better, so be it. I've had a very hard time.. college ended in
disaster, and I've taken a lot of tough breaks. I don't feel like I
really should be justifying myself. Yes, I've been depressed, yes,
I've suffered through addiction, and yes, I have failed to set goals,
to feel safe to dream again, and to decide that I can take what I
desire in my life as far as my future.
I am working with a friend to revamp and revitalize my resume. I
finally found a counselor who was helpful, who pointed out that I need
to find direction again. I went to an interview today for a strong
job possibility, and I will keep looking, keep selling myself, and
keep fighting. I have slumped in my motivation, but I have not given
up. I have found the courage to live when it was easier to die-- and
found so much to live for and believed I was worthy of it all.
I WANTED THE BABY, DAMNIT. Is that clear now? If yes, good. If no,
shut the fuck up. We don't plan to be on the dole long. Stop judging
until you walk where I've been.
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senna
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response 455 of 823:
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May 8 03:25 UTC 2002 |
I'll side with Jon, though not necessarily his severity. There are two
points. First, it's never wise to assume what position a person was in when
they made a particular decision, and I hope neither brighn nor void have to
deal with losing a job at the same time they are preparing to support a
family. Second, I hope neither of you hold any particular hostility toward
the anti-abortion movement, because that certainly sounds like moralizing what
a person should do with their reproductive future to me.
My two cents. Also, my parents weren't really doing that well financially
when they had me, and I believe the family may have even used some government
support as we were getting started. Things change, though, and my sisters
and I have missed anything in food, clothing, housing, or emotional
development. Some things actually do work out, and I hope they do for Jon
and Julie as well.
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brighn
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response 456 of 823:
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May 8 04:26 UTC 2002 |
#454>I retract my criticism, Jon, and apologize for the hurt it caused.
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jaklumen
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response 457 of 823:
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May 8 07:34 UTC 2002 |
Thanks.
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jaklumen
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response 458 of 823:
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May 8 07:36 UTC 2002 |
resp:455 Duly noted-- I wish I was as levelheaded as you often are,
Steve.
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brighn
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response 459 of 823:
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May 8 13:35 UTC 2002 |
#455> Re: The anti-abortion movement. Yes, I do hold hostility towards the
anti-abortion movement, but not because I think people should be forced to
have abortions if they can't pay for the child. I hold hostility towards them
because they don't want to give people the choice. There's nothing wrong with
holding a moral standard, so long as you don't try to force others to act in
certain ways because of that standard: Even when I thought it might be the
case that Jon and Julie had conceived with the knowledge that they didn't have
any money, you'll note I didn't demand Julie run out and get an abortion; all
I said was that I thought it was irresponsible.
If an anti-abortionist wants to think it's immoral to get an abortion, great
for them, they can diatribe about it all they want, until they're blue in the
face, with my support. If an anti-abortionist wants to make it ILLEGAL to get
an abortion, I'll obstruct them in a heartbeat.
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jep
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response 460 of 823:
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May 8 17:06 UTC 2002 |
I'll be bummed if this item turns into an abortion debate.
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brighn
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response 461 of 823:
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May 8 17:07 UTC 2002 |
Heh.
Ok, I'll stop or take it elsewhere.
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void
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response 462 of 823:
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May 8 18:17 UTC 2002 |
Senna, come back and tell me about hard times after you've had to sell
your own plasma in order to feed your family.
Jon, I have to admit that I don't follow your life closely enough to
have remembered that you were well employed when you and Julie got
pregnant. I'm sorry that you find it offensive when I opine that people
who know they can't afford to pay for children get have them anyway.
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scott
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response 463 of 823:
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May 8 18:55 UTC 2002 |
Almost walked into a gang fight on my way downtown today. It was at the
corner of First & Catherine, and about 7 guys were involved.
(as a martial artist... I turned and walked around the block, and was figuring
on calling the cops when a couple police cars came zooming in)
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aruba
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response 464 of 823:
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May 8 20:01 UTC 2002 |
Wow, I never thought of that as gang territory.
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krj
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response 465 of 823:
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May 8 20:06 UTC 2002 |
Well, this is low on the scale, but I dithered long enough on a particular
used PC that someone else bought it.
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i
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response 466 of 823:
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May 9 00:30 UTC 2002 |
First & Catherine don't intersect in Ann Arbor...1st & Miller or 1st &
Kingley, perhaps? I'm a regular at both the latter, usually during the
day, and have never seen any suggestion of trouble.
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senna
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response 467 of 823:
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May 9 02:57 UTC 2002 |
Void, in no way have I complained about hard times. I mentioned that my
parents were not on the strongest financial ground when I was born. Big deal,
it happens. I don't recall ever mentioning anything about how my childhood
was troubled--quite the opposite, in fact, as I was demonstrating that the
financial situation of parents at birth does NOT dictate the conditions under
which the child is raised. For starters, money is not even close to the only
factor in their situation, and it wasn't in mine. I am fully confident that
Jon and Julie will be able to work their way toward financial stability as
their family continues to grow, and I used my family as an example. Where
is that discussion of hard times?
I'll come back and tell you about hard times when I have *real*, *legitimate*
hard times to discuss. Until then, you'll continue to hear the same inane
drivel about sports, marketing, media, and the idiocy of the political party
system.
And the occasional opinion that sometimes, some people *don't* know what's
best for others.
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senna
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response 468 of 823:
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May 9 03:01 UTC 2002 |
And before I completely undermine myself, thanks, Jon, for the compliment.
I wish I could be as sensible and even-handed as I seem in some of my posts,
too. :) It's a daily goal of mine. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
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jaklumen
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response 469 of 823:
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May 9 03:55 UTC 2002 |
resp:462 void-- you didn't get it. You see, I agree 100% that people
shouldn't be on welfare and having babies; i.e., if someone's going to
have children, they should be working to provide for them.
Financial security is part of the picture, of course. I've met people
that I firmly believed should *not* have children-- or that they
needed to make some adjustments first. I've talked with people about
this, including one co-worker mom. She didn't know her husband wasn't
going to be a great dad and might not have had children if that were
the case. Some people don't do well with children, and again, I
think, damn, I think they should think long and hard before they breed.
Julie and I are both the eldest of moderately large families-- well,
by today's standards, anyway. We're biased, yes, but we have
experience around children, and we have a natural affinity for them.
Even if we stay somewhat poor, we will raise them with love and
dedication.
Did I fail to make that clear? I also assumed that either Julie or I
was being accused of being irresponsible. If the first is true, and
the second is an erroneous conclusion, I am indeed very sorry.
However, if I was clear, and there was an assumption, you are paying
me lip service.
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void
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response 470 of 823:
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May 9 15:20 UTC 2002 |
Senna, you said that you hoped I would never lose my job and have to
support a family. Been there, done that, blew up the T-shirt stand. I
didn't think you were complaining about hard times, I thought you were
telling me to walk a mile in shoes I've already walked many miles in.
Jon, I said that I don't follow your life terribly closely; I had
forgotten that you were employed when you and Julie got pregnant. I
still say that anyone who cannot afford children at the time they get
pregnant, no matter how much they want children, is irresponsible for
having kids anyway. Apparently that does not apply to you and Julie.
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senna
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response 471 of 823:
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May 9 17:12 UTC 2002 |
Ah, so we're talking about different things. Point taken. Mine still stands,
though.
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flem
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response 472 of 823:
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May 9 18:20 UTC 2002 |
Speaking of unemployment...
My one-month review of the "performance improvement plan" they put me on came
up today. Despite my rather spectacular efforts over the last month, despite
the fact that *every* substantial bit of progress during that time towards
our insane deadlines is solely my doing, my manager said she would still
recommend firing me, except -- and this is the amazing part -- that I have
some knowledge and skills valuable to the team I'm on. wtf?
Dilbert is not fiction.
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jep
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response 473 of 823:
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May 9 18:36 UTC 2002 |
Wow.
Greg, sometimes you just have to accept that you don't belong
somewhere. If you don't think you can outlast that manager, you need
to be moving on. For whatever reason, you can't work with that person,
and the odds are very much against you ever being able to work with
that person.
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flem
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response 474 of 823:
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May 9 19:34 UTC 2002 |
Agreed. However, there's a fat sum of money contingent on me lasting until
at least June 2, as that is the 3rd anniversary of my hiring on there. After
that, my options become significantly more flexible. I can make it that long.
I think.
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