response 40 of 79:

Aug 1 20:26 UTC 2003

Thanks!!

What myths/images/impressions created by Hollywood movies, usually, 
would you like to dispel about the US? 

response 42 of 79:

Aug 2 03:51 UTC 2003

In real life America, there are toddlers.

As a parent of a toddler, I'm struck by the fact that the only movie that
contains a toddler in a significant roles is "Monsters, Inc" where they
computer generated the toddler.  Apparantly getting a toddler into a movie
is harder than an alien, a talking pig, or a dinosaur.

response 44 of 79:

Aug 2 04:11 UTC 2003

resp:41 Indeed, many of us have traveled to other countries: and many 
of us even appreciate the mix of culture here in our own backyard.

response 46 of 79:

Aug 2 06:43 UTC 2003

I'd guess dissertations have been written on the first question, and
every one comes to a different conclusion.

I'd say that relatives are important, but a significant portion of the
population is sufficiently mobile that relaties aren't around.

Moving out as a teenager, after high school, is not unusual, but not seeing
parents for several years _is_ unusual.  Well, not maintaining contact
is unusual; the aforementioned mobility can interfere with physical visits.

response 48 of 79:

Aug 2 10:01 UTC 2003

Re: 41.9: We (or rather, y'all) can take jokes and laugh at [y]ourselves when
[you] need to ? Define, "when we need to".

response 52 of 79:

Aug 2 16:53 UTC 2003

My brother lives in Tennessee and avoids contact with my parents other 
than a visit or two per year.  He doesn't contact me a lot, either.  
However, my parents and I see each other about weekly.  We live about 
60 miles apart.  We're in nearly daily contact via the Internet.

I believe both my parents, and I, would rather they lived in an 
assisted-living center rather than have them move in with me.  There'd 
be no question, if there were ever a need, they could move in with me.

response 54 of 79:

Aug 2 17:36 UTC 2003

I'd rather see divorce be easier, not harder, maybe
having all marriage contracts be for a set number of
years, say five.  The basic disolution contract could
be agreed to at the time of the marriage.

At the end of the five years the contract could be 
renewed if both partners were in agreement.  This would
keep everyone on their toes, looking for ways to 
keep the relationship thriving, instead of one or
both partners feeling tenured, and complacent.

Would this result in more divorces?  Most certainly.
Would more good marriages fail?  Doubt it.

I wouldn't want to be in a marriage where I wasn't loved
and respected.  Nor would I want to feel stuck with
a partner I didn't love or respect.  Five years 
seems about right to evaluate if the partnership is
working.  Bad marriages happen.  Be as gentle on yourself
and those in the fallout zone as you can be.  Learn from your 
mistakes.  Avoid playing the victim and move on.

response 56 of 79:

Aug 2 18:04 UTC 2003

STeve and I have a contract marriage.  We contracted for 300 years.  It has
been a running joke throughout the 21 years we've been together.  One of the
few things that made him smile right after the Drs confirmed that he had a
stroke was my leaning over and whispering in his ear that he just had to be
ok because he had 281 years left in the contract and I was holding him to it.

response 58 of 79:

Aug 2 20:08 UTC 2003

I personally don't know of any divorces that occured due to wife abuse.  Jim
was in an abusive marriage for ten years but stayed married because he wanted
to raise children.  At the time divorced men lost their childen (every other
Thursday visits is not raising children) and also had to pay 1/4 to 1/3 of
their income to the person who stole their children.

Re visiting twice a year, that does not sound to me like jep's brother is
avoiding contact.  I visited once a year at most but wrote frequently.

response 60 of 79:

Aug 2 20:41 UTC 2003

I agree that most divorces are not about abuse.  But if more people were
stuck in relationships that weren't working for them, then some of those
non-abusive, unhappy relationships might well develop into abusive
relationships.  I think a bad relationship is more likely to get worse
than it is to get better if you "stick it out".  You know, you only get
one life.  Should you devote it to trying to make a marriage work with
some person that you don't even like anymore, much less love?

Children certainly change the equation.  But I think not as dramatically
as people used to think.  I think every American who doesn't have
divorced parents themselves at least has numerous friends with divorced
parents.  We know from personal experience that divorce isn't great for
kids, but it isn't disasterous either.  I think that often a divorce in
a family with kids is harder for the parents than for the kids.

response 62 of 79:

Aug 3 00:22 UTC 2003

Dan brings up a good point. The whole concept of karma is very strong in
India, especially the rural parts. If you're having a bad marriage,it's most
probably of the bad deeds you performed in earlier lives. Of course, this
logic seems to apply only to women. You'll hear a lot of "this is what my fate
is" and the like, from women who will not get a divorce. Anf then there are
monetary factors, which are almost as great in determining whether one should
get a divorce. How will I support myself and my children...

response 64 of 79:

Aug 3 02:34 UTC 2003

CGI toddlers?

Ah, you mean computer generated images of toddlers.  In the context of 
the rest of the day's discussion, you threw me for a loop, Russ.