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|
| Author |
Message |
| 25 new of 563 responses total. |
edina
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response 349 of 563:
| 
Feb 23 17:52 UTC 2006 |
First off, what's a "whack"? Secondly, how old is the kid? Thirdly, if you
were in a contentious split with your ex, would you HONESTLY hit your child,
knowing it could cost you visitation with your child? You can bitch and moan
about how it doesn't allow you to parent your child YOUR way, but bottom line
is that after a certain point in time, hitting your child ceases to be
effective. There are a million other ways to punish a child besides hitting.
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happyboy
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response 350 of 563:
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Feb 23 17:57 UTC 2006 |
what proof is there that the kid was hit?
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nharmon
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response 351 of 563:
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Feb 23 17:59 UTC 2006 |
> would you HONESTLY hit your child, knowing it could cost you
> visitation with your child?
Some people have problems controlling their emotions, and lash out
irrationally.
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edina
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response 352 of 563:
|
Feb 23 18:00 UTC 2006 |
And they should not be allowed to see their children unsupervised.
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tod
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response 353 of 563:
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Feb 23 18:42 UTC 2006 |
First off, what's a "whack"?
Park your car in the bad neighborhood and wait a few minutes.
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richard
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response 354 of 563:
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Feb 23 22:40 UTC 2006 |
re #327 ea, not only is anne married now, but she's a grandmother! you've
been gone a lot longer than you realized eh? :)
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jadecat
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response 355 of 563:
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Feb 24 13:14 UTC 2006 |
Well since that happened a month to the day after the wedding... Kids
grow up so fast these days... *sighs*
;)
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jadecat
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response 356 of 563:
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Feb 24 13:14 UTC 2006 |
IHB- it's Friday, I have plans to have a couple of my girls over
tonight, and shopping plans for tomorrow. Is good.
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slynne
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response 357 of 563:
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Feb 24 15:23 UTC 2006 |
IHB I just realized that I have enough frequent flyer miles for a coach
class ticket! :) I think I'll try to mooch off some folks in Seattle
for a week this summer
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richard
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response 358 of 563:
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Feb 24 16:37 UTC 2006 |
re #357 or you could buy a coach class ticket and use your miles for a first
class upgrade, and get to sit up at the front of the plane in the nice seats
where you can drink free booze with the rich and famous
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slynne
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response 359 of 563:
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Feb 24 17:00 UTC 2006 |
Or I could buy a ticket to Seattle and then have enough miles for a
free ticket to Hawaii!
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happyboy
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response 360 of 563:
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Feb 24 17:23 UTC 2006 |
dude!
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mcnally
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response 361 of 563:
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Feb 24 17:27 UTC 2006 |
Flying to Hawaii from the mainland generally takes more miles than
getting a coach-class ticket from point to point within the 48 contiguous
states.
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marcvh
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response 362 of 563:
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Feb 24 17:29 UTC 2006 |
Cool! Once you get your email fixed you can let us know your schedule.
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happyboy
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response 363 of 563:
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Feb 24 17:38 UTC 2006 |
yeah, what's up with the email?
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slynne
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response 364 of 563:
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Feb 24 18:22 UTC 2006 |
My email is broken because I am lazy and because Yahoo's tech support
is non-existant. I am thinking about switching to gmail.
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marcvh
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response 365 of 563:
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Feb 24 18:28 UTC 2006 |
I'll be glad to send you an invite, but I'd need to know where to send
it...
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slynne
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response 366 of 563:
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Feb 24 18:39 UTC 2006 |
slynne30@yahoo.com
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jep
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response 367 of 563:
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Feb 24 19:40 UTC 2006 |
Just to review the situation for those who aren't familiar with the
facts that I have described...
My stepson said he was punched in the head, quite hard, by his father.
This is how his father woke him up at about midnight to discuss his
anger with the boy's mother for marrying me.
The boy, who is 13, and who doesn't like me much at all, asked his
mother to ask me to join him in his bedroom and sit on his bed so he
could describe what happened. My wife said she could feel a bump on
the boy's head. I could not feel a bump, but then I'd never touched
his head before that evening.
I choose to accept the word of my stepson. I will always believe my
kids (and stepkids) until I am forced into not believing them.
Yes, I am cognizant of the father's feelings. As many of you know, I
have been through a not dissimilar situation myself. I have never met
the kids' father. I tried once. Several months before our marriage, I
did go to the father's house when the kids were with their mother, to
meet him and talk with him. For whatever reason, no one answered the
door. Maybe no one was home, maybe he and his parents (he lives with
his parents) didn't want to talk to me. I don't know.
I haven't gone back to his house since the hitting incident. I haven't
discussed everything here that the boy told me, but I believe I have
reason not to go back to his house. Say I don't want to escalate the
conflict if you'd like.
I have not, and will not, say anything bad about their dad to my
stepkids. I won't let them say anything bad to my son about his
mother, either. If the stepkids want to talk to me, I listen. It's
just grossly unfair to the stepkids and their dad for me to say
anything about him. I have very strong views on this subject.
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tod
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response 368 of 563:
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Feb 24 20:08 UTC 2006 |
Is the guy an alcoholic or just a midget? The boy is 13. It wont be long
before he can kick the old man's butt and then the old man won't have anybody
he can intimidate into being a serogate sympathetic mommy for him.
That's a real toughie situation, jep. My father never laid a finger on me
but my step dad tried once. Luckily, gramps (not my dad cuz he's a pacifist)
encouraged my participation in kickboxing so by the time step-dad and I got
into a confrontation (he was choking my mom to death) then I was able to crack
his head open pretty handily. Its not something I'm proud of and emotionally
it sucked really bad (especially since mom got the cops after me) but at least
I didn't take a beating like my mom. I'm recommending you get him into some
kind of self defense class just for the sake of self esteem. People might
frown on that idea but trust me..its not a bad idea when there's an abuser
somewhere in the immediate family. Meditation and focus from those types of
sports help relieve unseen mental stress which could adversely affect him in
other parts of his life.
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jep
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response 369 of 563:
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Feb 24 20:41 UTC 2006 |
He's an 80 pound 13 year old. His dad is 6'2" and I guess about 260
pounds. My stepson is running track this spring. If he has to go back
to his dad's, maybe that will help him. You will understand, I hate
being forced into this course of action, but I will try to make sure he
(and the girls) don't have to go back to their dad's house.
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keesan
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response 370 of 563:
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Feb 24 23:09 UTC 2006 |
Could they meet each other some place where there are other people around,
not related to them, such as a public building?
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happyboy
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response 371 of 563:
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Feb 24 23:33 UTC 2006 |
i'm with tod on the martial arts angle. learning to run really
fast is a good start as well.
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richard
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response 372 of 563:
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Feb 26 03:02 UTC 2006 |
I think JEP needs to spend time with this kid's father. Take the guy
out for a beer and just talk. Get to know him. Because right now you
are basing your opinions of him, and therefore your actions, on what
your wife is telling you. You need to hear his side of things and not
just take her word for it. If he still cares about his ex-wife, he may
just be concerned whether/if you'll be a good husband for her. You
deal with his concerns, and he can deal with yours. Man to man.
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glenda
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response 373 of 563:
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Feb 26 04:19 UTC 2006 |
Richard, get real. Bad idea, very bad idea.
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