response 3 of 9:

Jul 6 10:40 UTC 2002

I'm not sure, but I think some of that is the definition of co-
dependency, right?

One of my sisters had some drug and alcohol problems, and that, I'm 
sure, had a slight impact.  It was also difficult for me to remain 
properly detached yet supportive of my wife when she resolved her 
issues of abuse, and not relapse into old co-dependent habits.
My in-law family is also dotted with issues.  My mother-in-law, father-
in-law, and sister-in-law are the only ones I have a solid connection 
with.  I am somewhat close to the youngest of my brothers-in-law, but I 
feel him slipping away.  The other two will have nothing to do with me.

Neither my parents nor parents in-law have addiction issues.  I still 
find it interesting, however, that among the family members that do, 
when I dug deeper, I saw faint connections in other siblings and such.  
It makes me think that roots of addiction may be much, much deeper, and 
that certain family members responded with addition, and others.. 
didn't, at least not clearly.

I think it is a good point that we should heal ourselves before we try 
to help our loved ones, because we might be in a better position to do 
so.  It's also important to remember that the recovery process is an 
individual one.  That was a hard lesson for me to learn.

response 5 of 9:

Jul 7 14:48 UTC 2002

   What about your grandparents, jaklumen?  There are a number of
addicts whose parents were fine but who had one or more grandparents
who were addicts.

response 7 of 9:

Jul 8 06:56 UTC 2002

resp:0 btw, what's it like..?  It might be helpful for me to consider 
my parent's side, so to speak.

response 9 of 9:

Mar 23 05:52 UTC 2003

resp:5  I see patterns between my grandmother, mother, and my next 
youngest sister in their basic reaction of "I'm not going to be like 
her [my mother]" and yet wind up very much like the generation before 
in certain ways.. they are all very driven, perfectionistic, etc.