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| Author |
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| 25 new of 94 responses total. |
oval
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response 25 of 94:
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Apr 7 22:31 UTC 2002 |
is that a threat or is it an offer?
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senna
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response 26 of 94:
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Apr 7 22:34 UTC 2002 |
Neither. It's just the way it's gonna be.
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oval
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response 27 of 94:
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Apr 7 23:12 UTC 2002 |
perhaps i need to elaborate more
if one consumes another there could be
a punishment severe and lasting long
if in your fridge they find all grexers' heads.
but sometimes in this culture where we dwell
the thought of being eaten ain't so bad
and probably the law won't give a damn
as long as she is of consenting age.
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jaklumen
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response 28 of 94:
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Apr 8 02:42 UTC 2002 |
I don't do iambic pentameter. It cramps my style.
<inserts plug for the poetry cf>
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brighn
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response 29 of 94:
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Apr 8 05:02 UTC 2002 |
I think that those who want to criticize
should go another place, forget this one,
or try to follow rules when posting here.
To look at twenty one, a case in point,
she says I may be off a beat, but then
I may be not... so then she fails to see
the point, the line between machine and art:
Machines fail not, and odes so made fall flat
of art, with liberties ta'en here and there...
to show the man behind the poem, to show
the imperfection of the world that is.
(And note, per post the first, no lines here rhyme.)
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jaklumen
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response 30 of 94:
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Apr 8 08:34 UTC 2002 |
(argh, my iambic pentameter poem got erased!)
I was complaining, not criticizing,
but indeed, freeform is my mode of choice.
I am cathartic when waxing poetic
Rhyme and meter sounds too smarmy to me
I make this short exercise here, however.
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keesan
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response 31 of 94:
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Apr 8 14:44 UTC 2002 |
Pentameter has rules that some don't get.
The stresses are supposed to land on beats.
Iambic means you stress it on beat TWO.
Ten syllables, about five beats or less.
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brighn
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response 32 of 94:
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Apr 8 15:07 UTC 2002 |
Am I the only one who, seeing posts
like Sindi's last, can hear her forcing beats
to prove her point? For me, the word that first
appears in thirty-one has but one beat
that counts, but four in all, and therefore fails:
And yet would she to deign to tell us all
how this should best be done? I think so not --
the best iamb will fail from time to time,
but roll from tongue like fluid rivers wet --
it should sound trite aloud, when read to show
the beat, but should sound natural when read
to show the meat of what is meant (like this).
=}
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keesan
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response 33 of 94:
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Apr 8 15:18 UTC 2002 |
Some words have secondary stresses too.
I said 'about five beats', not strictly five.
You write ten syllables, some people don't.
It 'should sound natural' - 'I think so not'.
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orinoco
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response 34 of 94:
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Apr 8 18:01 UTC 2002 |
The rhythm's all that matters anyway:
the _feel_ of it, not just how many beats.
parenthesis $0 shrugs parenthesis
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keesan
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response 35 of 94:
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Apr 8 18:11 UTC 2002 |
How do you read line three of the above?
You also have ten syllables per line.
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brighn
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response 36 of 94:
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Apr 8 19:04 UTC 2002 |
Of thirty-three: I do not feel the word
of which I spoke (whose name means "five feet long")
had secondary stress enough to call
it such (as 'secondary' does) -- to say
it so sounds forced to me, not natural.
The other thing you say -- not all my speech
is proper to be said as if we weren't
engaged in games like these: It is a game,
and skill, and art, with sev'ral weights.
One being flow, another beat, and yet
another how it sounds sans both of these.
To point to one and say, "Oho! A fault
it is that I have found..." The fault is yours.
I have no taste to tarry on: So cease
this metaverse. The spirit of this game
is not to parry on therules, but play
within the same. So please, let us proceed.
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flem
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response 37 of 94:
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Apr 8 20:33 UTC 2002 |
Am I the only one surprised (and yes,
a little disappointed too, I must
confess) that when, presented with a chance
to finish off this sentence fragment found
in number 32's response, to wit:
"but roll from tongue like... " What unsullied mind
among us still remains, presented with
an opportunity like this, that would
so innocent, so inoffensive a
completion make to this as "rivers wet"?
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brighn
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response 38 of 94:
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Apr 8 23:20 UTC 2002 |
... depends upon the place the river's found ....
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senna
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response 39 of 94:
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Apr 9 01:13 UTC 2002 |
There was a guy named Shakespeare that I think
was rather well known and highly thought of.
He wrote in many styles of which this is
one but there were also many more that
he enjoyed using. Though even he took
many liberties that would shock you all.
Not all his lines kept quite the perfect feel,
and indeed many felt a bit like prose.
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remmers
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response 40 of 94:
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Apr 9 02:18 UTC 2002 |
I think the weather's warming up. Hooray!
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brighn
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response 41 of 94:
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Apr 9 03:04 UTC 2002 |
Ah yes -- it rained all day today (no snow!)
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rcurl
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response 42 of 94:
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Apr 9 05:18 UTC 2002 |
You SHOULD, you KNOW, write IAMBS, like THIS, for CLARITY.
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senna
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response 43 of 94:
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Apr 9 07:54 UTC 2002 |
I will NOT write LIKE you SUGgest. SO there.
CLAritY has THREE sylLABles, YOU know.
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jaklumen
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response 44 of 94:
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Apr 9 11:17 UTC 2002 |
drifting!
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keesan
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response 45 of 94:
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Apr 9 13:57 UTC 2002 |
The line in #42 is not pentameter.
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rcurl
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response 46 of 94:
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Apr 9 15:04 UTC 2002 |
Why NOT? And EMPHASES are NOT necessARILY syllABLES.
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md
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response 47 of 94:
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Apr 9 15:12 UTC 2002 |
I'm gone one day, and look at what a mess
you poetasters made of this nice item.
First, as to rhythm, I know it when I hear it.
brighn obviously doesn't. That's the problem.
If Matthew Arnold entered something like
"Still clutching the inviolable shade,"
Or Wallace Stevens sent his famous pigeons
"Downward to darkness on extended wings,"
Or William Wordsworth rhapsodized once more
"Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive,"
brighn would complain that these immortal lines
of flawless poetry didn't scan correctly!
The utter tic-tock regularity
brighn evidently thinks he has to do
is academic, flat, unmusical.
Its only virtue, if you'd call it that,
is that it's easy for some folks to scan.
But all the music in the best blank verse
comes from the same irregularities
that brighn complains about. It is the pull
between the clock tic-tocking in your head
and all the lovely variations on it
that poets practiced in their art can do.
So, can you patch any ten syllables
together any old way, like these lines?
Of course not. Then, what *are* the rules, exactly?
The only answer I can give is: read!
Read Arnold, Stevens, Wordsworth and the rest.
If you don't read it well, you'll never write
it well. I'm sorry, that's the only way.
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flem
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response 48 of 94:
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Apr 9 15:24 UTC 2002 |
Word up, dog. I be stylin' to yo groove.
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brighn
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response 49 of 94:
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Apr 9 16:26 UTC 2002 |
A difference of opinion, Mister Mike...
You do not offer lines as those for me
to judge, but judge them for me... is that fair?
I'm one of few who's keeping to your rules,
and yet you choose to chastise me? I think
no matter what I say, from this point on,
you'll choose to poke at me -- and not in jest.
I'm trying to have fun, but no, I can't.
Because you are so far ahead of me,
elite, and educated... pardon me!
You did not say, "Here is a place for odes,
please write some works of art, and beauty, please."
You said, "Here are some rules. Let's have some fun."
Or was it just a trap for you to show
how high and proud and good and smart you are?
If you want art, or judge of same, then do
feel free to post an item on that thread.
If you want people to have fun, then do
feel free to shut your trap and leave this be.
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