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Grex > Agora41 > #8: Tickle your funny bone even if you aren't a spring chicken | |
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| 25 new of 257 responses total. |
brighn
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response 200 of 257:
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Apr 28 20:11 UTC 2002 |
I would think that people would be boastful of having a large cock, not of
having a large foreskin. I would think the foreskin of a large cock wouldn't
be that much larger than the forskin of a small cock, unless there was
something medically wrong.
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rcurl
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response 201 of 257:
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Apr 28 21:05 UTC 2002 |
Let's have a little contest here. What would be a *funny* punch line
for #195? I'll go first, but with a punch line in the same spirit
as the original:
"He had a shit."
Next?
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aruba
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response 202 of 257:
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Apr 28 21:31 UTC 2002 |
"Turned out he'd swallwed his brother."
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jep
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response 203 of 257:
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Apr 28 22:15 UTC 2002 |
I apologize to those who didn't like it, but I thought #195 was funny.
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jmsaul
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response 204 of 257:
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Apr 28 23:26 UTC 2002 |
I think Rane just has a different concept of humor.
How about a joke you like, Rane?
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senna
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response 205 of 257:
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Apr 29 01:40 UTC 2002 |
Remember, brighn, this is a joke about a 25-pound baby. I think they've
already thrown biological accuracy out the window. :)
My personal preference for a punchline would be "we ate the third leg," but
it isn't very funny.
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brighn
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response 206 of 257:
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Apr 29 04:25 UTC 2002 |
#205 is actually my favorite so far, but I'll go with the other end as Rane:
"He burped."
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bdh3
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response 207 of 257:
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Apr 29 05:59 UTC 2002 |
re#201: I actually heard it 'he took his first shit' as a
punchline. It was from a texian telling texas jokes. It
is a 'self depricating' humor that is quite common - they
don't take themselves all that serious much less anything
else.
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rcurl
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response 208 of 257:
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Apr 29 06:12 UTC 2002 |
Birth weights exceeding 25 pounds have been recorded, though it is pretty
rare.
Well, here is a funny one-liner. It even concerns sex, but it isn't funny
because of an allusion to sexual malformation:
"Did you know that having children is hereditary? If your parents didn't
have any children, neither will you."
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senna
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response 209 of 257:
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Apr 29 06:30 UTC 2002 |
ha ha ha ha ha
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other
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response 210 of 257:
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Apr 29 10:40 UTC 2002 |
...deprEcating...
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bdh3
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response 211 of 257:
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Apr 30 06:24 UTC 2002 |
ah, as in defecating. Got it.
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legionoi
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response 212 of 257:
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Apr 30 12:49 UTC 2002 |
I didn't
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tpryan
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response 213 of 257:
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May 5 16:33 UTC 2002 |
DOG LETTERS TO GOD
Dear God,
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom smell one another?
Where are their priorities?
Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old
story?
Dear God,
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,
the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named
for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a
nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be
easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he
still a bad dog?
Dear God,
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?
Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy
fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at
the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the
beagle across the street!
Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God,
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't
make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpet thing, again?
Dear God,
Can you undo what that doctor did ... ?
CAT LETTER TO GOD
Dear God,
Do you exist? I'm just curious. I don't really care.
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mary
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response 214 of 257:
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May 5 16:38 UTC 2002 |
That's good.
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jaklumen
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response 215 of 257:
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May 6 08:24 UTC 2002 |
That reminds me of another joke:
St. Peter (to another potential entrant): Oh, I'm sorry. You don't
know the secret handshake, do you?
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rcurl
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response 216 of 257:
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May 6 15:23 UTC 2002 |
Followers of what religions would not understand that? I know that Muslims
accept Judeo-Christian prophets in their religion, but would that extend
to knowing the mythologies necessary to know about St. Peter at the
gate?
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jaklumen
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response 217 of 257:
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May 7 08:43 UTC 2002 |
The mythology is Catholic, I believe, and I just supposed it was so
oft-quoted that most people would have heard of it somewhere. Muslims
and some Jewish immigrants might not get that.
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tpryan
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response 218 of 257:
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May 7 12:29 UTC 2002 |
The joke is on them, I guess.
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gelinas
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response 219 of 257:
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May 7 14:30 UTC 2002 |
Probably only Christians *would* get it, and most of the rest of the world
just wouldn't care.
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rcurl
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response 220 of 257:
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May 7 15:42 UTC 2002 |
Do Muslims tell similar jokes, based on their mythologies? I'd like to
hear (see) one, if so.
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albaugh
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response 221 of 257:
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May 9 18:27 UTC 2002 |
PREGNANCY Q & A
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody
that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor,
but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room
while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week.
When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
********************************
"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says:
"How's my driving-call 1-800-***-****."
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting-practice.
7. You're convinced there's a God and He's male.
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
****************************************
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your fringe to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN
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jp2
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response 222 of 257:
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May 9 19:19 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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flem
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response 223 of 257:
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May 9 19:37 UTC 2002 |
Um, which 8 would that be?
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brighn
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response 224 of 257:
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May 9 20:09 UTC 2002 |
The 5 on the last list, that 8.
Jeez, Greg, you're SO insensitive.
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