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Grex > Cflirt > #17: Reparative therapy-- Change and healing is possible. | |
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| 25 new of 84 responses total. |
phenix
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response 20 of 84:
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Dec 27 21:49 UTC 2001 |
otoh this has given us a wonderful chance to discuss something i didn't know
was going no.
err, on
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jaklumen
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response 21 of 84:
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Dec 28 09:57 UTC 2001 |
resp:16 good point, except that other issues are intertwined. For me,
preference for redheads and arousal to homoerotic images or situations
just isn't the same. In other words, if I were able to completely
filter out any socialized complexes, i.e., abuse, addiction, emotional
baggage, etc., etc., etc.
but you have to understand that my therapy DOES include other
distractions-- I'm working to give up dependence on pornography, which
was quite the addiction for me. I'm not sure if generalization or
distinguishing of distractions matter, except it's easier for me to
examine things separately.
furthermore, if the theory of deferred detattachment *is* assumed
valid, then no, brighn, marriage workshops alone wouldn't help. Yes,
indeed, I can learn to get my *sexual* needs from my wife, but the
therapy is designed to promote male-to-male friendships, to fulfill
that emotional need that said theory presumes is sexualized.
Let me try saying that again. For me, I think I want to relate to men
with strong, fraternal friendship, but for some reason or another,
I've responded sexually. The theory presumes that the sexual response
is there where the emotional response should be. This seems to fit
for me.
resp:19 I think I'm familiar with that, but then, the large
organizations with which I'm familiar-- Exodus International, which is
an interdenominational organization, and Evergreen International,
which is more specific to LDS folks, seem to have done careful study.
It's unfortunate that others-- individuals, groups, what have you--
haven't taken the time to do the research.
resp:18 A claim that I'm ignorant of what others have posted. What do
you think now? Secondly, I wasn't saying writing was devoid of
emotion or that the Internet was devoid of it, either. My point was
it is difficult to be emotion-specific in writing, and so one
statement can be interpreted in a variety of ways. Sorry, lelande,
but your assumption of what I have said is incorrect. Thirdly,
addresses changed, and I couldn't get a hold of people directly (or
I'm just *damn* lazy-- got a problem with that?), and do you know how
many people read the conferences? Here on backtalk, that's anyone.
What is said can be like blowing feathers to the wind. I intended for
some elements TO be public in order to reach that unknown segment as
well.
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brighn
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response 22 of 84:
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Dec 28 15:40 UTC 2001 |
Ok, that makes sense. Actually, I think most men could stand to have some sort
of intimacy (agape) therapy. I have difficulty expressing and handling
non=sexual love, and I daresay most (if not all) American men do.
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senna
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response 23 of 84:
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Dec 29 07:08 UTC 2001 |
I agree. I think it's a moderately serious (that is, widespread and decidedly
inconvenient without threatening to destroy society) problem with men today
in our culture. I know a lot of guys who strongly prefger being in large
groups of members of the opposite sex to large groups of members of the same.
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jaklumen
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response 24 of 84:
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Dec 29 08:51 UTC 2001 |
*shrug* it might be a matter of personality type.
I'm not sure if you've heard of the color theory of organizing
personality types, i.e., red defines those who value competition, blue
for those who value relations and diplomacy, white nonconfrontation,
yellow fun and excitement-- and it would seem that much of what is
defined as masculine culture may favor the first two types of
personalities, i.e., red and blue, and more particularly red.
From what I have read and discussed with others, the dominant drive of
male culture *seems* to be competition. This works really well in
capitalistic business, and some of the mythos surrounding the founding
of America-- rugged individualism, for example-- may foster such a
drive. It would therefore be difficult to surround yourself with
those you would perceive to be rivals.
but that's one way of looking at it.
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michaela
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response 25 of 84:
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Dec 29 09:17 UTC 2001 |
I know a lot of girls who have more male friends than female friends. It goes
both ways.
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senna
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response 26 of 84:
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Dec 29 18:22 UTC 2001 |
My impression is that workplaces with an awful lot of women can be a stressful
place to work for those women.
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jaklumen
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response 27 of 84:
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Dec 30 11:40 UTC 2001 |
*nod* I figured the opposite was true, but wasn't quite sure as to
reasons why.
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oval
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response 28 of 84:
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Dec 31 00:14 UTC 2001 |
i find it odd that this "sexuality" conf is more about psychology than
sexuality with lots of sweeping gender generalizations.
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senna
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response 29 of 84:
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Dec 31 00:47 UTC 2001 |
So contribute your views if you don't like it.
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oval
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response 30 of 84:
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Dec 31 01:03 UTC 2001 |
humans are humans. women have cunts, men have cocks. drop the guilt, stick
it where you wanna and LIKE IT.
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phenix
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response 31 of 84:
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Dec 31 03:08 UTC 2001 |
i like oval:)
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cyklone
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response 32 of 84:
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Dec 31 03:26 UTC 2001 |
I vote yes!
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flem
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response 33 of 84:
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Dec 31 16:51 UTC 2001 |
I don't think it's odd that the sex conf is more about psychology and gender
issues than actual bumpin' and squishin'. There's only so many times you can
say "I like to cum on young girls' tits" before everyone stops caring.
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phenix
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response 34 of 84:
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Dec 31 17:18 UTC 2001 |
or stops bothering to call you a pedophile:)
but yha, it's all about the squishy luv thing
or at least about how fucked up you are
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senna
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response 35 of 84:
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Dec 31 21:30 UTC 2001 |
The real discussion comes from more complex issues that don't have easy
answers. Questions like "do you like it up the ass?" typically elicit
one-sentence answers with little room for elaboration. The question needs
more meat to it.
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jaklumen
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response 36 of 84:
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Dec 31 21:54 UTC 2001 |
and I suppose it can be amusing sometimes to think senna meant
something more when he said "more meat to it."
But seriously, I think we get enough of the joking and crude comments
that may come from misinformation about sex, or perhaps the attitudes
that surround various taboos. We're just attempting to talk
intelligently without feeling the need to coat it with raunch.
However, analyzing the issues to death is extreme in the other
direction; thus, I suppose, we attempt to discuss without psychobabble
or detached clinical stances. Honesty is good, but I think we are
trying to find a balance.
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lelande
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response 37 of 84:
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Jan 3 18:39 UTC 2002 |
30 oval
what happens when a human born a male is given a cunt through surgery as an
infant? what is this human, then?
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oval
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response 38 of 84:
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Jan 3 23:05 UTC 2002 |
does he keeo the cock?
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lelande
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response 39 of 84:
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Jan 5 21:59 UTC 2002 |
his cock got keyed, actually. all scratched. needed a new paint job.
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eskarina
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response 40 of 84:
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Apr 3 01:56 UTC 2002 |
I have a question.
Does anyone besides jaklumen have a clue what Exodus International is/does?
Everyone's doing it, I'll add a website: www.bridges-across.org
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phenix
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response 41 of 84:
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Apr 3 03:12 UTC 2002 |
wtf is it then
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brighn
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response 42 of 84:
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Apr 3 03:59 UTC 2002 |
Exodus International teaches gays to be straight.
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brighn
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response 43 of 84:
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Apr 3 04:00 UTC 2002 |
http://www.exodusnorthamerica.org/aboutus/
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jazz
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response 44 of 84:
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Apr 3 15:19 UTC 2002 |
This is terribly, terribly un-PC, but I think I have a handle on
another reason the idea of reparative therapy might be reasonable. I've run
into quite a number of people, personally, who have attractions to both
genders, but have had such strained relations, or one sufficiently strained
relation, with the opposite gender they've turned solely to the same gender.
Oftentimes they overly strongly identify with their new preference, touting
to the world that they're gay, as if in an effort to convince themselves.
I can't see a reason why curing those problems, and those strained relations,
through therapy *wouldn't* be a good thing.
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