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| Author |
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| 25 new of 73 responses total. |
jaklumen
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response 17 of 73:
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Jan 2 09:04 UTC 2002 |
resp:16 whoops. I went back and realized that I had stated a truism I
myself didn't really believe.. I mean, in general, I figured that
while a f-f scene is a male fantasy for quite a number of men (if not
a majority), I believed that the opposite was more of a minority taste
for women.
Why is that? Do women secretly fantasize about two men having sex?
Perhaps I should ask *why* it's arousing for you, if I'm not being too
bold.
I can't remember where we discussed the f-f sex fantasy, but we did
discuss it somewhere-- why the women tended to be femme, and not
butch; and that usually, the women were described as bisexual. Even
if they were described as lesbian, the portrayal was *never* realistic.
Therefore, is the female version of the m-m sex fantasy similar, or
different? How does it compare with media preference-- i.e., is such
a fantasy more arousing when it is in written form, which supposedly,
women tend to prefer, or when it is more visual, say, by video? Does
the content of the fantasy also differ, i.e., would it be similar or
different from what would be described in various gay media
(literature, video, or otherwise)?
..that was more where I was trying to get at.
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oval
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response 18 of 73:
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Jan 2 09:42 UTC 2002 |
#15 wasn't related. think i'll rewrite it and make it a thread when i'm less
hungover.
#17 i can't speak for other women or media, but imho it is just plain sexy.
i don't know why, it just is. it also makes fooling around with two men a lot
more fun. i guess i'm speaking more in terms of personal experience than
seeing images or movies, but sex in general doesnt interst me unless i'm some
how involved real time. i am also not generally interested in people who
consider their 'sexual orientation' the major part of their identity as a
person. maybe i can muster up a better response when my brain is functioning
more properly.
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oval
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response 19 of 73:
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Jan 2 10:30 UTC 2002 |
he means by 'friend of the court' parental disagreements, custody battles,
child support, etc.
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brighn
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response 20 of 73:
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Jan 2 14:52 UTC 2002 |
the most obvious theory about why so many men seem to find f-f sex
interesting: They find watching sex interesting, and because m-f sex is
threatening because it means a DIFFERENT male is succeeding, and m-m sex is
threatening because it interacts with internal gay desires which are in
denial, or is boring because there are no internal gay desires with which to
interact, the only thing that's left for a mildly homophobic heterosexual male
with moderate to low self esteem is f-f sex. Since "mildly homphobic
heterosexual male with moderate to low self esteem" describes the majority
of American males... ;}
Of course, hedonists just enjoy watching sex, and make no real distinction
in gender of the participants (even if they're strongly heterosexual, they
can still enjoy *watching* homoerotic situations, if the people involved are
enjoying themselves).
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michaela
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response 21 of 73:
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Jan 2 20:52 UTC 2002 |
Women enjoy watching two men for just about the same reasons men like watching
two women. :) It's fun.
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phenix
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response 22 of 73:
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Jan 2 20:55 UTC 2002 |
re #20: not neccissarly, they could find watching men on men pretty boring.
or find watching sex boring in and of it's self, as opposed to participating
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brighn
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response 23 of 73:
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Jan 2 21:29 UTC 2002 |
#21> I disagree. As I said, most men who enjoy watching f-f sex don't enjoy
watching m-m sex, so it's more complicated than "it's fun."
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oval
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response 24 of 73:
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Jan 3 04:57 UTC 2002 |
brighn, i agree with #20. but somehow i'm trying to figure out why it's
different for women. meaning, most women who enjoy m-m sex are also not
threatened by f-f or m-f sex either. (i'm assuming). so the notion of these
women enjoying it because they are "mildly homphobic heterosexual females with
moderate to low self esteem" doesnt' seem to apply in exactly the same way.
i've known hetero women who are quite comfortable with m-f AND f-f, but not
m-m. maybe that's just because their boyfriends arent, and they don't want
them to be because THAT would be threatening. so maybe it all boils down to
the same point anyway - feeling threatened/insecure. bisexuality is something
that seems to be accepted among women, but not as much among men. bi men are
often just seen as gay, even though they dig women too. while bi women are
just seen as being sexually liberated and kinky. so a woman accepting m-m may
feel that that also means she must accept the fact that her male partner could
be turned on by men as well, which could make her paranoid that her lover may
be gay, which threatens her. (and maybe that strap-on just ain't her thang.
;P) make sense? (and hedonists just plain aren't bothered by all the societal
pressures and emotional insecurities, but i think there are many different
forms of hedonism.)
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michaela
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response 25 of 73:
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Jan 3 08:47 UTC 2002 |
Oh, I was saying "it's fun" in reference to myself. I don't know why other
women like watching it. I think it's because men are sexy, and having TWO
sexy men doing sexy things is just...sexy. ;-)
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jaklumen
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response 26 of 73:
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Jan 3 09:01 UTC 2002 |
so, in part at least, similiar reasons.
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brighn
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response 27 of 73:
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Jan 3 14:50 UTC 2002 |
#24> I did kind of address that. Women's sexual insecurities in our culture
tend to be in different realms than men's sexual insecurities, so they're
threatened by different things. There's always going to be a component of
people who just enjoy watching, and don't carry a lot of baggage into it.
*shrug*
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flem
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response 28 of 73:
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Jan 3 20:56 UTC 2002 |
Oh, I remember what I was going to say. One of the reasons that I often find
it more interesting to watch (recordings of) f-f sex, as opposed to m-f
or m-m, is that, for some odd reason, it's often more artistic. It's sometimes
very sensual, very erotic, in the sense that there's a difference between
erotica and porn. Not always, or even often, of course; most "girl on
girl action" is porn of the least interesting kind, but the rare exceptions
seem to be less rare than for hetero sex.
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brighn
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response 29 of 73:
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Jan 3 21:36 UTC 2002 |
#28> I'd agree with that, from my own viewing experiences.
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oval
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response 30 of 73:
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Jan 4 06:45 UTC 2002 |
i'd also like to share that brighn asked me the other day in party if i am
in fact a "cock tease". now, the fact that we live several states away from
each other aside, what exactly makes a person a cock tease? i mean, does this
really exist or is it just something men say when a woman gets turned off?
or even if she's just teasing you? some people get off on being teased a
little. it makes the actuality of it happening that much more intense. but
that actuality often never happens when people act like impatient children
- right brighn?
maybe it's just the way that "mildly homphobic heterosexual males with
moderate to low self esteem" behave.
please clarify.
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brighn
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response 31 of 73:
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Jan 4 14:24 UTC 2002 |
For the record, I was just being silly, not making a serious accusation, so
I'm a little taken aback at the nastiness of #30. But I'll answer the
question.
I call women "cock teases" when it is apparent that they have no interest
whatsoever in backing up their seductive behavior (and I've used the term for
females in whom I had no interest, or whose behavior wasn't directed at me).
Sure,it's a fine distinction: People flirt all the time with no intentions
to follow up; so do I. But there's a difference between that and, say,
bouncing on someone's lap and stroking their cheek, and then openly laughing
or looking surprised when the person tries to follow up.
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phenix
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response 32 of 73:
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Jan 4 16:21 UTC 2002 |
cock teases otherwise known as "scary bitches", "fifteen year old girls" and
"dancers and actresses"
oh, "vamps", "courtisans" etc.
the idea is to seduce someone, and then give da old "what? with you? hah.
that's a laugh"
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brighn
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response 33 of 73:
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Jan 4 17:22 UTC 2002 |
Greg put it more succinctly than I did. =}
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phenix
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response 34 of 73:
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Jan 4 17:46 UTC 2002 |
<bow>
i have names if you need examples.
i went to a school filled with these people.
such bets as "who can get the most money out of a guy before doing anything"
"who looses thier virginity last but has the most boys trailing them"
yha
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brighn
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response 35 of 73:
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Jan 4 18:32 UTC 2002 |
I've seen 'em on Jenny Jones, too. Girls who play guys for all sorts of
expensive gifts, and then don't put it.*
*That's not to say that the only reason for giving a woman a gift is so that
she'll give you sex. Not harldy. But when a guy gives you a Mercedes because
you bounce on his lap and squeeze his crotch, I think the implication is
pretty strong WHY he gave you the Mercedes, and if you don't want to put out,
give the Mercedes back.
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oval
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response 36 of 73:
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Jan 4 21:48 UTC 2002 |
I didn't mean for #30 to be taken very nasty. just as you didnt think your
behavior in party should be taken nasty i guess. your posts are fairly well
written and you seem mature and witty in bbs. so i was taken aback by how you
behaved. in any case, i agree it's quite rude to act sexually interested in
someone and then make them feel dumb for reciprocating the interest. do you
think there are people that encourage this behavior? seems there are a lot
of people, who, once they *know* they can sleep with someone whenever they
want, they are no longer interested. (this is the part where things go back
to the original header "sex and ownership".)
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oval
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response 37 of 73:
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Jan 4 21:52 UTC 2002 |
And i refuse to acknowledge the guests of jenny jones (or anyone suitable to
*be* a guest on that show) as people to use as an example of anything besides
stupidity.
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phenix
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response 38 of 73:
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Jan 4 21:56 UTC 2002 |
ok, i went to school with these people
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oval
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response 39 of 73:
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Jan 4 21:59 UTC 2002 |
High School?
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brighn
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response 40 of 73:
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Jan 4 22:00 UTC 2002 |
#36> I'll admit that, depending on my mood, I can come off as a blazing jerk
in party. Depending on who's there (and this doesn't apply to the case in
question), it can even be deliberate (there was a time years ago when Greg
and I didn't exactly get along like troopers in Party, f'rinstance).
Sure, people of both genders use sex as a tool for power. When men do so, it's
an acquisition technique: How many fawning women can I get? When women do so,
it's a seduction technique: How much can I get from each man? (Those are gross
generalizations, too.)
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oval
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response 41 of 73:
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Jan 4 22:00 UTC 2002 |
some of the jerks i went to school with were suitable guests for jenny jones.
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