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Grex > Agora46 > #8: I'm Bummed, I'm Bummed, I'm really really Bummed | |
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response 14 of 594:
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Jun 25 17:33 UTC 2003 |
This response has been erased.
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response 15 of 594:
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Jun 25 17:38 UTC 2003 |
IBB there's a beautiful piece of stained glass in my office, but I can't
seem
to find a way to hang it safely in my window. Drat.
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jep
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response 16 of 594:
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Jun 26 03:08 UTC 2003 |
I have found my ex-wife has had her live-in boyfriend watching John,
without my knowledge (until John told me of it) for the last two days
while she was not present. I have made it explicitly clear to her
that that person is not to be with John without a responsible adult's
supervision.
After I found out he was watching John yesterday, I contacted the
Friend of the Court's office to find out what I can do about it. My
case worker is a man, and was very reasonable at listening to what I
had to say. I'd expected him to berate me because my issue is not
pressing compared to others he must hear. I was wrong; he was
respectful and helpful. There wasn't anything he could do on the
spot, of course, but he was very nice.
He advised me to write him a letter, outlining my complaints about the
violations of the mediation agreement. He will then take appropriate
action.
The boyfriend was watching John again today. I had a shouting match
with my ex-wife over it over the phone a few minutes ago. There will
certainly be no doubt that I'm opposed to that person watching my
son. I managed to also point out this was a violation of the
mediation agreement regarding "right of first refusal" (today) and an
abuse of the right of first refusal (*she* was supposed to watch John
yesterday; he explicitly was *not*).
The final straw has been loaded onto the back of the camel. There
will be no more wishful thinking, that maybe the mediation agreement
is better than the alternative, even if it's only being kept to by
me. I'm going to write the letter which was suggested to me; actually
I've mostly written it. Also, I will be calling my lawyer tomorrow to
see if there's anything she should be doing.
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keesan
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response 17 of 594:
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Jun 26 08:42 UTC 2003 |
Jim complained to the court one summer when his ex refused to let his daughter
visit for a month. The only result of this was that a few months later they
sent her a letter telling her not to do this again.
Do you want to offer to pay for daycare somewhere at times when both parents
are working?
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anderyn
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response 18 of 594:
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Jun 26 11:48 UTC 2003 |
Best of luck with getting the situation resolved to something more stable,
John.
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jep
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response 19 of 594:
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Jun 26 12:12 UTC 2003 |
re resp:17: I am quite willing to pay for day care, if that's what's
needed. I am already paying more than double the FoC recommended child
support, which was supposed to be compensation to her for watching John
mroe than half the time. (It's a miniscule amount of money.) I am not
willing to pay for her boyfriend to be alone with John. I'm willing to
pay quite a lot to prevent him from being with John.
I am also willing to leave work in order to watch my son for an hour,
or an afternoon, or whatever else is needed. The mediation agreement
specifies we'll give each other the "right of first refusal", which
means she has to ask me first. But she doesn't do it.
re resp:18: Thanks!
Divorce is the most disillusioning experience I can imagine.
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arianna
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response 20 of 594:
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Jun 26 13:27 UTC 2003 |
IBB my sprained ankle is being very s l o w in healing. I hurt it on
Memorial day and it's still bruised and tends toward swelling. It's gotten
better, but not fast enough; I have stuff to do, not the least of which is
moving. I'm moving back in with some old roommates because my current one
is moving back down south (she's finished her master's and gotten a teaching
job in Tampa) -- that'll be this weekend, and I'm STILL working on packing
that I wish had been done a week ago.
On 7/1 my benefits begin; I work in a neurology office that's adjacent to one
of the hospitals, and working for doctors means great benefits, I've
discovered. I can go have it looked at on or after that date.
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maryeliz
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response 21 of 594:
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Jun 26 17:12 UTC 2003 |
IBB i found out that a guy i like is already taken =( oh well i'll move on.
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michaela
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response 22 of 594:
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Jun 26 17:26 UTC 2003 |
I'm giddily in love, but he lives three hours away. It's not
hopeless, but it's annoying enough to make me a bit bummed.
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arianna
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response 23 of 594:
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Jun 26 18:55 UTC 2003 |
been there. <brandishes the t-shirt> my condolances, Sarah.
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keesan
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response 24 of 594:
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Jun 26 22:22 UTC 2003 |
Does John III's school have a daycare program for kids to go to before and
after school that he could attend just 2-3 days a week (your days)?
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eskarina
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response 25 of 594:
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Jun 26 23:44 UTC 2003 |
I'm giddily in love, but he lives four hours away from where I am right now.
Bummage.
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dcat
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response 26 of 594:
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Jun 27 01:16 UTC 2003 |
resp:25 and not only that, in the fall he'll be about seven hours away.
:-(
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jaklumen
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response 27 of 594:
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Jun 27 02:06 UTC 2003 |
speaking of daycare, we will have to have our daughter go to one.
Julie likes the one she found, thankfully, and it would be a temporary
arrangement most likely if all goes the way we want it to, i.e., she
gets to participate in the Community Jobs program and gets an
afternoon assignment.
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beeswing
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response 28 of 594:
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Jun 27 03:31 UTC 2003 |
Speaking of daycares. Yesterday here a 2 1/2 year old little girl died
in a Day Care van. The driver forgot her and left her in the van. She
was there for 8 hours in 90+ degree heat. She roasted, literally.
This happens here about three times each summer. Last year two kids died
in the same way on the same day.
Just something to think about.
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jmsaul
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response 29 of 594:
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Jun 27 12:56 UTC 2003 |
Parents do that more often than daycares do.
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gull
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response 30 of 594:
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Jun 27 13:05 UTC 2003 |
Re #25: I know how tough that can be. I'm in love with someone 1,900
miles away.
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keesan
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response 31 of 594:
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Jun 27 16:51 UTC 2003 |
I wonder if there is any chance of renegotiating the mediation agreement such
that Andrea agrees to allow David to spend time with John II. I have no idea
what she is afraid John might do to David. In exchange, John II could agree
in writing not to say or do anything about John III spending time unsupervised
with the man he is already living with anyway. Again, I have no idea what
John II is afraid might happen to John III. Would he be fed vodka for lunch?
Are recovered alcoholics dangerous people, any more than recovered smokers?
Andrea is clearly violating the spirit of the agreement regarding David, if
he was supposed to visit 'whenever he wanted'.
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edina
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response 32 of 594:
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Jun 27 17:56 UTC 2003 |
All of the recovering alcoholics/addicts I know are generally fun, down to
earth people. But I suspect that John cares less about his addiction status
than just the idea of the man himself.
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tod
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response 33 of 594:
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Jun 27 20:58 UTC 2003 |
This response has been erased.
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jazz
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response 34 of 594:
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Jun 27 21:01 UTC 2003 |
Is he *currently* an alcoholic?
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keesan
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response 35 of 594:
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Jun 27 21:56 UTC 2003 |
I have neighbors with a genetic tendency to alcoholism. The adult son has
let it run his life and has been in and out of treatment programs. He is a
very very nice guy who would never hurt anyone (except of course himself).
His sister, a doctor, says she knows there is a family problem, and she
therefore avoids alcohol. Other relatives have had various other drug
problems. The fact that you are unable to control yourself once you start
drinking does not mean that you cannot keep yourself from starting.
I think it might be harder to quit smoking than alcohol, judging from a couple
of other neighbors and how often they have quit.
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tod
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response 36 of 594:
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Jun 27 22:45 UTC 2003 |
This response has been erased.
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dcat
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response 37 of 594:
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Jun 27 23:34 UTC 2003 |
It is both more and less likely for kids to start smoking if their parents
smoke. It's easier to get cigarettes & associated necessities, certainly,
but you also get to see first hand just how disgusting it is. (, he said from
personal experience.)
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i
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response 38 of 594:
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Jun 28 01:20 UTC 2003 |
I have no true love nor even slightly plausable prospect within *ANY*
finite distance.
(Now who's gonna one-up that, and how?)
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