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Grex > Agora41 > #8: Tickle your funny bone even if you aren't a spring chicken | |
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| Author |
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| 25 new of 257 responses total. |
eeyore
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response 125 of 257:
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Apr 3 04:44 UTC 2002 |
Who is Dennis Ritchie anyway?
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bdh3
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response 126 of 257:
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Apr 3 04:52 UTC 2002 |
Ack! Ack! He's a musician you gnumbnuts.
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mcnally
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response 127 of 257:
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Apr 3 05:06 UTC 2002 |
Ritchie was, for many years, a distinguished computer science researcher
at AT&T's Bell Labs. Along with several others (Pike, et al.) Ritchie
was part of the team that created the original Unix operating system and
in conjunction with Brian (not Bill) Kernigan, Ritchie co-created the C
programming language.
He's a very big deal in computer circles but almost completely unknown
outside the field (except for the album he recorded with boy-band "O-Town")
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jaklumen
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response 128 of 257:
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Apr 3 08:16 UTC 2002 |
Why would a computer science researcher record an album with "O-Town"?
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amethyst
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response 129 of 257:
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Apr 3 12:04 UTC 2002 |
Actually I searched those words (also with the addition of Dennis) on
google, yahoo, altavista, lycos and teoma. I came up with one page
that didn't work, one partial of it in dutch and a linux page. *boggle*
Thank you for posting it!
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gull
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response 130 of 257:
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Apr 3 13:52 UTC 2002 |
Re #128: Why not?
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mcnally
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response 131 of 257:
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Apr 3 14:23 UTC 2002 |
re #128: Because Lou Perlman asked really nicely?
I might have made that last part up, actually. The rest of #127 is
reasonably accurate..
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janc
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response 132 of 257:
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Apr 3 20:31 UTC 2002 |
(It was the first hit on google, but the referenced page didn't work.
Luckily google caches everything, so I got it from google's cache.)
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srw
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response 133 of 257:
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Apr 10 05:20 UTC 2002 |
google rocks
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srw
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response 134 of 257:
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Apr 10 05:21 UTC 2002 |
Forwarded to me without attribution:
-srw
HUMOR: School Days
It's the first day of school and the teacher thought she'd get to know
the kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a
living.
The first little girl says: "My name is Mary and my daddy is a postman."
The next little boy says: "I'm Andy and my Dad is a mechanic".
Then one little boy says: "My name is Johnny and my father is a
striptease dancer in a cabaret for gay men."
The teacher gasps and quickly changes the subject, but later in the
school yard the teacher approaches Johnny privately and asks if it was
really true that his Dad dances nude in a gay bar. He blushed and said,
"No, I'm sorry. My dad plays football for the Detroit Lions and I was
just too embarrassed to say so in front of the class."
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eeyore
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response 135 of 257:
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Apr 10 06:12 UTC 2002 |
Currently I'd say that the Lions are doing alot better than the Tigers.
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senna
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response 136 of 257:
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Apr 10 07:02 UTC 2002 |
The first time I heard that joke, the Dad was actually an auditor for Arthur
Anderson.
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cmcgee
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response 137 of 257:
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Apr 10 15:32 UTC 2002 |
Subject: Terrible New Weapon in the Afghan War
French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan To Convince Taliban of
Nonexistence of God
The clean-up portion of the ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when
the Allies revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist
philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of the remaining Taliban
zealots by proving the non-existence of God.
Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets', will
be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and
existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual battles
fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their first action
will be to establish a number of sidewalk cafes at strategic points near the
front lines.
There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of
life and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied by
a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further spread
dismay by looking remote and unattainable to everyone else.
Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence
in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo,a very intense
and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and said, "The
Taliban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous nature. There
is no God and I can prove it. Stop pouting, Juliette, I am talking."
Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating freedom
of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and the films of
Alfred Hitchcock.
Humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation as inhumane,
pointing out that the effects of passive smoking from the Frenchmens' endless
Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.
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oval
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response 138 of 257:
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Apr 10 15:37 UTC 2002 |
LOL!
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aruba
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response 139 of 257:
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Apr 10 16:51 UTC 2002 |
That's a good one.
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brighn
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response 140 of 257:
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Apr 10 17:42 UTC 2002 |
I think it's great that our own Rane Curl has volunteered to join the effort.
It's great that he's willing to risk his life like that. >=}
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rcurl
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response 141 of 257:
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Apr 10 18:05 UTC 2002 |
I don't smoke.
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mooncat
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response 142 of 257:
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Apr 10 19:05 UTC 2002 |
What a lovely (amusing, delicious and nutricious) string of
responses. :)
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brighn
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response 143 of 257:
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Apr 10 19:30 UTC 2002 |
#141> That's because you're not on fire.
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oval
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response 144 of 257:
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Apr 10 21:55 UTC 2002 |
i sent that to my 'philosophy major' friend. he got a big kick out of it..
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slynne
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response 145 of 257:
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Apr 11 19:41 UTC 2002 |
Dogs and Cats tell all:
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY -
DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to
eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around
their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try
this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and
repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to
vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body,
in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to
try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and
condescended about what a good kitty I was...Hmmm. Not working
according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no
good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however
it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick
minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the
piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could
hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they
call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement
was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and
how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more
than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the
other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I
can wait, it is only a matter of time...
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russ
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response 146 of 257:
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Apr 11 22:48 UTC 2002 |
Response #137 should be attributed to this site:
http://www.ephilosopher.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&s
id=88
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morwen
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response 147 of 257:
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Apr 12 14:48 UTC 2002 |
That was funny. I loved it.
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bhelliom
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response 148 of 257:
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Apr 12 15:52 UTC 2002 |
I have always loved the Cat Diary. Thanks for posting it!
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goose
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response 149 of 257:
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Apr 12 23:02 UTC 2002 |
I had always heard the punchline of #134 as "my dad's a lawyer"
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