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Grex > Pets > #48: What do I do with my cat, now that I'm getting a real baby? |  |
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| 25 new of 95 responses total. |
edina
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response 12 of 95:
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Jul 23 14:45 UTC 2002 |
Really? People treat animals as disposeable. I know it first hand, as the
previous tenant in my townhouse moved out, taking her two dogs, but not her
two unfixed cats. I had to round them up - the female being visibly pregnant
- and take them to the shelter where the female was promptly put down.
Granted, this couple found a home, blah blah blah - it's for their baby that
isn't even there yet, blah blah blah. Grow up. When you have a cat -
especially a cat that old - or a dog for that matter - when you get pregnant,
you don't just say, "Oh, we'll just get rid of the cat." How absolutely
fucking callous is that? I don't prize animals above humans - but I surely
prize my cats over many humans.
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johnnie
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response 13 of 95:
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Jul 23 14:47 UTC 2002 |
(re 9)
Or maybe--despite the assumptions here to the contrary--they have
genuine reason to believe that the cat may pose a danger to the baby
(perhaps it's getting progressively meaner and more aggressive and
unpredictable in its old age), and they're not just acting on the old
wives tale re baby smothering. Having had the cat for 15 years, no
doubt they know a little something about cats in general and theirs in
particular.
And I say this as someone with long experience as a cat/dog owner and a
parent of small children. I've had pets that are fine for a single
fella, but which would most certainly be problematic if children were
about.
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slynne
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response 14 of 95:
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Jul 23 14:56 UTC 2002 |
Sure, that is a possibility. But if the cat is really that dangerous,
they might have been better off putting it to sleep since it would
likely be *more* dangerous when stressed out which the move obviously
will do.
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mynxcat
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response 15 of 95:
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Jul 23 14:58 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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mynxcat
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response 16 of 95:
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Jul 23 15:00 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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beeswing
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response 17 of 95:
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Jul 23 15:27 UTC 2002 |
The way I see it, the cat was there first. :) And I've always made it
clear to any potential suitors that the cat and I are a package deal.
Yes, the parents are being ignorant and selfish, and probably weren't
attached to the cat if they're just casually getting rid of it. They're
doing the 'find it a good home' bit to make themselves feel
better. "Oh, we're such compassionate people, look how we didn't toss
it on the street! Love us!".
My brother and his wife have 2 dogs and 2 cats, and did not even
discuss getting rid of them when she got pregnant. My nephew is almost
2 now, and the cats have not even hissed at him.
A few months ago my nephew walked up to one of the dogs while it was
sleeping and tried to pet him. The dog was startled and nipped at him,
probably before it realized what she'd done. Nephew wasn't hurt. My
sister in law flipped out, saying she was going to give the dog away.
Of course it wasn't HER dog she was upset with... a boxer that I've
seen growl at my nephew before. Her dog could chew my nephew's nipple
clean off, but since it was my brother's dog, she was happy to get rid
of it. Then she finally realized no one would take an older dog.
Here's the deal, though... she wasn't watching the kid when he got
nipped by the dog. It never occurred to her to never leave a kid alone
with a dog. My nephew has actually crawled out of the house and into
the yard because she wasn't paying attention or watching him. So again,
it's not the animals. It's the idiots who "own" them.
She also said she couldn't wait until my brother's cats died. Gah, I
hate that woman.
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mynxcat
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response 18 of 95:
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Jul 23 15:30 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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bhelliom
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response 19 of 95:
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Jul 23 15:33 UTC 2002 |
resp:11 / resp:15 The situation sucks, no matter how one looks at it.
I do think this couple is acting foolishly, but I can understand the
reasoning behind it, however irrational. I feel sorry for them that
they felt this was a decision they had to make. None of you can make
anymore assumptions as to what they were thinking than I can.
I'm not upset, but rather puzzled that there seems to be this inability
to understand where these new parents are coming from. This seems to be
a judgemental squabble built on emotion and condemnation with very
little attempt to consider other aspects of the situation. The tone of
some of these post wavers between superior to bitter and hostile. I am
not taking this nearly as personally. I am not the one presuming that
because of this, they are going to treat their older children as
throwaways when their next arrival comes along. I'm also curious as to
how you arrived at the question that I possibly think pets are
disposable, slynne. Nothing I have said has been an advocation
of "discarding a family pet on a whim."
I have my problems with pet owners, and although I do believe that this
couple made a foolish choice (which I have stated several times) based
upon faulty information and/or advice from the similarly misinformed,
The fact that they are trying to make the situation as palateable as
possible for the cat should not be ignored, but it is. I'm more
concerned with the individuals who get animals as presents for their
kids and then come to find out the kid's allergic, so they dump it out
into a field somewhere. I have more of a problem with folks who get
pets when they know they can't afford to take care of them at all, and
the poor animal gets sick from some some illness/disease that was
completely preventable. I don't feel that a blanket condemnation is at
all fair.
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mynxcat
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response 20 of 95:
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Jul 23 15:41 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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bhelliom
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response 21 of 95:
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Jul 23 15:52 UTC 2002 |
Need I say it again? None of us can make really accurate assumptions as
to what they were thinking. Absolute determinations as to what they
decided and why is beneath you.
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mynxcat
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response 22 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:01 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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randyc
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response 23 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:02 UTC 2002 |
Just confused . . . as usual.
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bhelliom
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response 24 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:06 UTC 2002 |
No.
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randyc
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response 25 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:07 UTC 2002 |
Know since of humour.
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bhelliom
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response 26 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:07 UTC 2002 |
I don't want you to concede something if you don't agree that it is the
case.
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randyc
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response 27 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:09 UTC 2002 |
What's wrong with me conveiving?
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mynxcat
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response 28 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:11 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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mynxcat
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response 29 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:11 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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randyc
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response 30 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:13 UTC 2002 |
Just playing with words again. Ignore me.
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bhelliom
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response 31 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:19 UTC 2002 |
Everyone keeps reiterating the same thing. How is what I'm saying any
different? The only reason why this items is continuing is because
we're all repeating ourselves. I seem to see where all of you are
coming from, and I agree up to a certain point. I can't be any
clearer, you will just have to forgive me. And I'd prefer not to be
lied to. If you don't agree, I'd respect your argument a whole lot
more than if you lied and said you did.
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mynxcat
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response 32 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:22 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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jep
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response 33 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:25 UTC 2002 |
We had two cats when John was born, and didn't get rid of them or put
them outside or anything. *I* don't think cats are dangerous to
babies. I do think if you have the slightest inclination that your cat
might be dangerous to your baby, you obviously have to get rid of the
cat. There's no option and should be no hesitation.
I am not a cat lover like many others here. I've liked a few cats
(such as the ones we had when John was born) and been pretty attached
to one of them, but that wouldn't have made me hesitate if I'd had any
concerns for my baby son. It wouldn't affect me *how* much other
people objected. If I thought he might have been in danger, the cat
would have been out of there. I don't think anyone else could do
differently under those circumstances.
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mynxcat
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response 34 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:26 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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edina
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response 35 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:28 UTC 2002 |
If you are tired of arguing, it's very simple: don't.
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slynne
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response 36 of 95:
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Jul 23 16:31 UTC 2002 |
re#15 - ok. But what is the difference between a pig raised as a pet
and one raised for meat?
re#19 - Right. I think a lot of people here are simply saying that it
is wrong to abandon an animal unless one has a very good reason, that
one should not abandon pets on a whim. I do understand why people would
choose a new baby over a cat *if* there was a valid reason to do such a
thing. There are valid reasons but none have been presented here.
Of course, no one here knows exactly why the particular couple who gave
the cat to Tim are abandoning their cat but think of the possible
reasons. 1) They worry that the cat will hurt the baby -This is a not a
good reason because cats dont hurt babies and only a small amount of
research would have let them know this. 2) They are getting rid of the
cat because they figure it will be too much to look after both a baby
and cat - This is not a good reason because one has a responsibility to
an animal when one adopts one and it isnt ok to just decide that one
doesnt want to take care of it anymore. 3) There is actually something
dangerous about the cat - If this is the case, they should have
mentioned something to Tim so he could make sure he found a home for it
with no kids.
Anyhow, the odds are that they are giving this cat up on a whim
although of course we have no way to know for sure. We can only base
our opinion on the information we have. You dont seem to understand why
some of us have a problem with this so it calls into question your
opinion of giving up pets on a whim. That is why I asked.
The argument that we should not be critical of their decision because
they could have left in in a field is kind of like saying someone
shouldnt be criticized for breaking into a house because they chose not
to kill the owners while they were there. The fact is that I *do*
recognize that giving the animal to Tim is not the worst possible
choice they could have made. It is much better than taking it to the
local shelter or (worse) dumping it in a field. In fact, the only
penalty I think they deserve for this action is having a bunch of
strangers judge them for it. Hardly a harsh penalty when one considers
that they are very unlikely even to know of our discussion. This
conversation is not hurting these people. It would be different if
their names were entered here but they werent. For all practical
purposes this is a *hypothetical* couple.
But even if they were to see this discussion, I think it would be a
good thing. I think it is perfectly OK for people to let other people
know what their moral code is. You dont even seem to really disagree
that giving the cat up is wrong. You only seem to have a problem that
some of us are expressing that thought. What is that? Do you have some
sort of emotional issue with people verbalizing how they feel others
*should* act?
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