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| Author |
Message |
| 25 new of 178 responses total. |
arianna
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response 10 of 178:
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Mar 16 16:56 UTC 2000 |
note that brighn used punctuation to separate "doubtful frog" in this line:
"The emotion doubtful, frog neatly clasped..."
Personally, I though the separation of "cyanide" and "mittens" in Jessi's poem
was appropriate and didn't defeat the purpose of the exercise.
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lumen
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response 11 of 178:
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Mar 16 22:24 UTC 2000 |
I'm not sure what Julie has in mind, but I was assuming that the word
was meant to be kept intact with its modifying adjective. I see
nothing wrong with separation of the phrase with punctuation-- it does
allow for greater creativity, but then part of the meaning of the
original phrase is lost.
Whichever way is fine, I'm sure. Perhaps she will give brownie points
if each phrase is kept intact in their original meaning.
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remmers
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response 12 of 178:
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Mar 17 18:34 UTC 2000 |
Well, I'll endeavor to preserve grammar in any contributions
of my own; i.e., have the adjective modify the noun.
Let's see, is there a list pending?
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arianna
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response 13 of 178:
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Mar 18 00:39 UTC 2000 |
>
> red speaker
> intense cat
> broken book
> lost salutation
> shuffling sofa
>
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arianna
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response 14 of 178:
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Mar 22 22:37 UTC 2000 |
(I"m anxious to hear the next poem... <taps her foot impatiently>)
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orinoco
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response 15 of 178:
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Mar 27 01:20 UTC 2000 |
intense cat treads magenta,
drops red pawprints across windowsills
and under fences threads crimson
in sinuous lines
winds veins and arteries
which creep and bleed and under moonlight spread
hisses a sanguine wind before the storm commences
snakelike seduces the red speakers into silence
and paw-drags a curdled note of his own through the speakers instead.
cars sail by in silence, leaden and dark-feathered;
inside, shuffling sofas and bookends peer
through darkened windows, blinking and incoherent
but intense cat flips a quick hip twitch,
half-twist before landing without a hitch, and slips
into the red night, slick and swift,
treading broken book spines and frostbite underfoot,
spitting out a lost salutation before the darkness hits.
+--------------+
| chicken lips |
| noodle tower |
| ear parcel |
| sly icicle |
| angry sky |
+--------------+
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arianna
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response 16 of 178:
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Mar 27 21:11 UTC 2000 |
(I know I've said this before, dan, but it's never seemed so appropriate as
it does right now: I wonder when I'll learn to keep my big mouth shut.)
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remmers
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response 17 of 178:
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Mar 28 16:38 UTC 2000 |
View hidden response.
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remmers
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response 18 of 178:
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Mar 28 16:44 UTC 2000 |
Well there's two kinds of people really,
There's your flatheads and there's your tall-brained folks,
I met someone once with the tallest brain what ever I seen,
A real noodle tower.
Then too, there's some as has brave lips
And others what has chicken lips.
One thing, though, them brave lips fellers
Can really go on and on sometimes,
Yeah they really deliver an ear parcel or two,
Often when you least expect it.
Sometimes they're clever and sometimes not,
Sometimes they're cold too,
And when they're clever and cold
They'll serve up one sly icicle after another,
Babbling endlessly on their soapboxes
Under an angry sky.
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remmers
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response 19 of 178:
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Mar 28 16:47 UTC 2000 |
Next phrases:
bombastic snail
hungry star
quaking conumdrum
flexible prune
sad locomotive
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lumen
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response 20 of 178:
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Mar 28 21:09 UTC 2000 |
resp:12 Thanks-- I asked Julie and she did request that phrases be
kept intact as to preserve their full meaning.
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ponder
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response 21 of 178:
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Mar 29 02:53 UTC 2000 |
resp:8 and resp:9
I'll allow it.
The original intent *was* to keep the words together, though. Still,
Whatever your imaginations suggest works so long as you stay well within
the framwork originally suggested in the rules.
Lots of good stuff here.
BTW resp:9 you have a point there, Paul. Let's try to use these words
so that they more or less modify each other. Still, I'm not picky.
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ponder
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response 22 of 178:
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Mar 29 03:12 UTC 2000 |
Creeping forth, the bombastic snail
Slid on one foot into the cold night.
Frost lined everything with feathers
Even the darkening sky
And it's one hungry star.
The proud slug flexed his tiny brain
On this quaking conumdrum,
Even though his brain had less texture
Than a worn-out, flexible prune.
Finding no answer he trudged back inside
Wending his slow way like a sad locomotive.
*Next list:*
icy flames
simple frustration
blue wishes
worn words
winged kisses
***This one probably isn't as good as the others.***
***BTW feel free to comment briefly on the poems before your own.***
***The whole idea is to know how well we're doing.***
***I like all I've seen so far.***
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arianna
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response 23 of 178:
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Mar 29 17:20 UTC 2000 |
Actually, I liked that one, it was cool.
You used the word "brain" in one line and then used it again in the next,
however, and I tend to dislike that kind of repatition.
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ponder
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response 24 of 178:
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Mar 29 23:53 UTC 2000 |
Me too. I suppose I could've said cerebrum or mind instead.
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flem
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response 25 of 178:
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Mar 30 17:11 UTC 2000 |
(As usual, orinoco's offering amazed me. :)
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lumen
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response 26 of 178:
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Apr 6 00:00 UTC 2000 |
I agree with Erinn, Julie; that was cool.
I think your game has done much for you: someone makes a list of odd
imagery, and you are going to excellent creative lengths to make them
part of a cohesive work.
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arianna
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response 27 of 178:
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Apr 18 01:05 UTC 2000 |
I have worn words, calmly. But the ones you
illustrate upon me spread like icy flames, then
flood my ears. Welling up from within,
I fumble with floating blue wishes
that are ebullient suddenly, jettisoned
by the force of your simple frustration.
Clothed in biting consonants, each utterance
can be beared only by the winged kisses of your
pauses for breath.
Please, let's not fight anymore.
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orinoco
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response 28 of 178:
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Apr 18 06:54 UTC 2000 |
Ooh, I like....
(New phrases?)
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arianna
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response 29 of 178:
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Apr 18 14:45 UTC 2000 |
working on it.
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arianna
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response 30 of 178:
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Apr 18 18:27 UTC 2000 |
black bread
noontime sunshine
long task
cold ground
vivid violet
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remmers
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response 31 of 178:
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Apr 18 20:25 UTC 2000 |
(Those are so sensible I can hardly deal with them.)
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arianna
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response 32 of 178:
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Apr 19 22:09 UTC 2000 |
uh...
I'm not sure if he's being sarcastic or serious -- someone please translate
for me so I can eithe rlaugh at him or tell him to sod off? [:
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orinoco
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response 33 of 178:
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Apr 19 22:27 UTC 2000 |
They are pretty straightforward pairs of words. I've probably used all of
them before and not even realized it.
I got half a poem....the other half is coming up in a day or two, unless
someone beats me to it.
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arianna
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response 34 of 178:
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Apr 19 23:28 UTC 2000 |
I didn't set out to pick obnoxiously difficult phrases like "heartfelt
rudabaga." In fact, I just picked random phrases out of a book.
If you don't like my approach to picking the new pairs, just remember:
I don't care. <sunshiny smile>
Since my phrases are so *easy* Dan, I expect nothing less than perfection from
you. d=
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