|
|
| Author |
Message |
zoe
|
|
dying
| 
Jan 31 05:43 UTC 1999 |
as painful as it is,
i'm remembering again..
soaring on the wind's warm breath,
spinning into colorful feilds,
becoming one with their waves of emotion--
never a cloudy day.
my moon-beam wings,
my childish smile...
now i see it as a dream.
my prism feilds have gone pale and gray,
my wings now translucent to the eye.
i've been beyond the star's sharp glare,
and danced upon every sea...
now alone and afraid--
crying for the past,
though it fades with each memory...
bring me back to the crystal skies,
and the winds sure breeze--
for that was my true home...
now i sit as a girl,
in a world of hate and lies;
where i can't belong...
i'm loosing my past..
don't let me die in this bad dream.
|
| 36 responses total. |
bookworm
|
|
response 1 of 36:
|
Feb 1 03:18 UTC 1999 |
Ooh. That's a scary one. You should read my nightmare one. Simply
titled "Nighmare" on this cf. (selfless plug) :)
|
lumen
|
|
response 2 of 36:
|
Feb 1 03:57 UTC 1999 |
I would say haunting, myself. You have a wonderful command of imagery,
although I believe this skill can and will be further improved with
time. The Imagist movement (as my wife described it to me) would be
proud of you.
(myself, I fancy myself a surrealist/Imagist poet)
|
toking
|
|
response 3 of 36:
|
Feb 1 12:09 UTC 1999 |
in the immortal words of Cartman "Sweet!"
this is good...
"soaring on the wind's warm breath,
spinning into colorful feilds,
becoming one with their waves of emotion--"
That right there is just a wonderful set of lines
|
logansan
|
|
response 4 of 36:
|
Feb 1 17:12 UTC 1999 |
I love this one, not like, but love ... can I get a signed copy :)
|
zoe
|
|
response 5 of 36:
|
Feb 1 20:30 UTC 1999 |
its based on my nightmare/dream... intangible bliss that i don't
posses in my own life... reading this one makes me cry...
|
bookworm
|
|
response 6 of 36:
|
Feb 1 21:23 UTC 1999 |
Interesting feedback you've got here, Zoe. Thinking about publishing a
book of your work. If you did, I'd buy it. I always go for good
poetry. Gives me some ideas of how I can improve my own stuff.
|
lumen
|
|
response 7 of 36:
|
Feb 1 22:53 UTC 1999 |
resp: 5-- Real life always seems to give strength and structure to art;
if you subscribe to the idea that art is expression of reality, however
creatively reconstructed.
|
zoe
|
|
response 8 of 36:
|
Feb 2 20:02 UTC 1999 |
no one really reads poetry anymore... not since the romantic age.. i
have already been published, it didn't feel right... its like giving a
peice of myself to strangers to discet.. i don't enjoy exposing my soul
to just random people... i'm shy.. i wouldn't be here if it weren't for
joe's encouragement...
|
