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Author Message
carl
Look at what I found on Usenet! Mark Unseen   Feb 25 22:06 UTC 1993

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How to play...
JOHN THROWING
By Camdon Edward Draeger
Slightly revised (to correct spelling) by Scott T. Anderson

        This great new sport is fun for everyone except John.  For those of you
not familiar with "John Throwing," here's how it works:

1. Find a man named John.
2. Set him in an office chair with wheels.
3. Stand in one spot with your hands on the back of the chair.
4. With your hands still on the chair, spin your body in a tight circle.
5. Get yourself, the chair, and John going really fast, then let go of the
        chair.
6. Once John has stopped, measure the distance from your starting point to 
        John (not the chair).  The winner is the one who throws John the
        farthest.

This sport also works with people with other names:  Jill, Jim, Nancy,
Cloves, Pan, even Luxury Liner.  But we find that John works the best.

ADDENDUM TO "How to play JOHN THROWING"
        First a new name: "John Throwing (Jon Works the Same)."  You know how
        it
works.  The rules are simple, but there are rules for other types of games:
A. THE BACKYARD FAMILY GAME
        1. Anything goes, but you have to set some rules or use tournament
                rules.
B. THE TOURNAMENT RULES
        1. The circle is eight feet in diameter.
                a. You must stay in the circle until John or Jon comes to a
                        complete stop.
        2. You can spin until you get to the edge of the circle (like discus).
        3. Points are awarded to the person who throws John or Jon the
        farthest.
                a. The top score is 10 points for the farthest.
                b. Second is 5 points.
                c. Third is 2 points.
                d. 200 points wins.
        4. Option:  You can put stuff in the playing field and if John or Jon
                hits it you get x amount of points.

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21 responses total.
remmers
response 1 of 21: Mark Unseen   Feb 26 05:59 UTC 1993

It's a good thing my name is Marston!
chaz
response 2 of 21: Mark Unseen   Feb 26 07:47 UTC 1993

I was once in a bar which had a tequila boweling deal.  They put a
helmet on some dude and sailed him across the floor into ten bottles
of tequila arranged like bowling pins.  I wonder if this could be
added to john throwing as an extra credit bonus for accuracy.
carl
response 3 of 21: Mark Unseen   Feb 27 21:29 UTC 1993

re #2  I'm sure that could be done for extra credit.

re #1  Mastron?  Marston Snord?  Not *the* Marston "just call me
       John" Snord?  I've heard great things about you.  About
       the time, diligence, and personal investment you make to
       keep Enigma such a cool conference.  I've also heard about
       your intelligence, dedication and sensitivity.  You're a 
       one-of-a-kind who adds something special to Grex.

       BTW, do you have an office chair I can borrow?  Er, well,
       it's not exactly for me though...    ;-)
lee
response 4 of 21: Mark Unseen   May 22 19:14 UTC 1997

<lee thinks everyone named "John" would have forgotten this item...>
carl
response 5 of 21: Mark Unseen   May 30 22:12 UTC 1997

<carl thinks even someone named martha may have forgotten it...>
lee
response 6 of 21: Mark Unseen   May 31 20:48 UTC 1997

Hmm, John... Martha... yeah, I see the link, really, I do.
<wrinkles her eyebrows at the crowd>
orinoco
response 7 of 21: Mark Unseen   Jun 1 18:29 UTC 1997

<Irons out lee's eyebrows and hands them back to lee>
lee
response 8 of 21: Mark Unseen   Jun 4 23:54 UTC 1997

Ouch!  That monster is hot!
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