cmcgee
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response 2 of 9:
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Jul 5 15:05 UTC 2002 |
In my AlAnon group we call AAers who are also AlAnon double winners. The
membership requirement for Alanon, such as it is, says, "The only
requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a
relative or friend."
One of my double winner friends used to say that he went to AlAnon when
he was getting too involved with other people's lives, and AA when he was
isolating himself. He was an amazing person because his shares often
illuminated "the other point of view" and helped us understand our
alcoholic friends better. Seeing both sides of the problem was _so_
helpful.
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jaklumen
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response 3 of 9:
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Jul 6 10:40 UTC 2002 |
I'm not sure, but I think some of that is the definition of co-
dependency, right?
One of my sisters had some drug and alcohol problems, and that, I'm
sure, had a slight impact. It was also difficult for me to remain
properly detached yet supportive of my wife when she resolved her
issues of abuse, and not relapse into old co-dependent habits.
My in-law family is also dotted with issues. My mother-in-law, father-
in-law, and sister-in-law are the only ones I have a solid connection
with. I am somewhat close to the youngest of my brothers-in-law, but I
feel him slipping away. The other two will have nothing to do with me.
Neither my parents nor parents in-law have addiction issues. I still
find it interesting, however, that among the family members that do,
when I dug deeper, I saw faint connections in other siblings and such.
It makes me think that roots of addiction may be much, much deeper, and
that certain family members responded with addition, and others..
didn't, at least not clearly.
I think it is a good point that we should heal ourselves before we try
to help our loved ones, because we might be in a better position to do
so. It's also important to remember that the recovery process is an
individual one. That was a hard lesson for me to learn.
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