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| Author |
Message |
zoe
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passing
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Apr 21 16:12 UTC 1999 |
falling to my knees
in the depths of sorrow's pity
seeking all i shall never grasp
all i'm too weak to withstand
reaching for that broken glass
to prove what i am
leaning into the wind,
despite the harsh chill
the world seems to be passing,
though i will be ahead in the end...
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| 5 responses total. |
zoe
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response 1 of 5:
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Apr 21 16:14 UTC 1999 |
i don't know.. it's short, and somewhat queer for a poem, but... i don't
know...
i just couldn't stand not posting my stuff... i sware by Bast, i'm never
going to deprive myself of writting again!!!
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orinoco
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response 2 of 5:
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Apr 22 13:25 UTC 1999 |
I like the way this one _sounds_ most of all. It seems to keep flirting with
rhyme (grasp/glass, withstand/am, wind/chill) without ever really committing
to a rhyme scheme, which is something I like a lot.
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arianna
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response 3 of 5:
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Apr 22 21:28 UTC 1999 |
dan and I always seem to like the pieces that are short, simple and sometimes
weird or vague. the picture this one paints is like one of those little
snapshots of your thoughts and your feelings. sometimes little snapshots are
the best way to appeal to one's own thoughts and feelings. people try so hard
to put their every emotion and thought into words, and then call it p oetry,
and sometimes it achieves that status... but other times, the least amount
said is exactly enough to fill the cup to the brim without spilling over.
<erinn is reminded of the poem she wrote called "Bubble">
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bookworm
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response 4 of 5:
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Apr 27 22:27 UTC 1999 |
resp:1 Good Girl!
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