response 1 of 68:

Jun 22 16:34 UTC 1992

actually, the best example of this of which i can think is in _war and 
peace_. one of the scurrilous characters, dolokhov, who is a drinker, 
card player (cheats), bully, and general provocateur, spends a good part
of the novel interfering maliciously in the lives of others for his own
amusement. but underneath, he turns out to be something more (not something
different). i don't want to spoil it for anybody who might be picking up
the book soon (a good summer read), but if you do--keep an eye on dolokhov!

response 3 of 68:

Jun 23 05:48 UTC 1992

I can stand a certain amount of hurt in the maintenance of what I hope will
be personal niceness, but only a certain amount.  I fight bitterness like
hell, and use cynicism only for occasional humor value.  I encourage others
to fight bitterness - it seems capable of making people stop trying, and
then they can't maximize/actualize their own potential as humans.  None
of this is easy, but so what - easy is boring and unchallenging and doesn't
let one feel as good when all is done.  I go for the hard stuff - it's 
definitely more fun.  I let the naive enjoy it while they can, but take care
that they not be permanently damaged in doing so - at least I try to educate
them so they don't get seriously hurt.  .......  <Uncle Unh-unh yawns> ...
(It's too late for this stuff - 2AM.  More later ...Zzzzzzzzz)

response 5 of 68:

Jun 23 12:38 UTC 1992

I used to have my optimism continually torn away from me like so many
dead leaves torn from a tree by a November wind.  Then I stopped
trying to ask women on dates, and it stopped.  (Partial HHOK)
Now that I've stopped thinking of the Universe as an inherently
evil place to be, fewer "evil" things happen to me, and the ones
that do, I can deal with much better.

response 7 of 68:

Jun 24 01:34 UTC 1992

        This wasn't recent for me, either, but... not all that long ago,
really.  It's sort of an ongoing thing.
        When I was a kid, I thought of myself as a hot shot superbrain.  I
was sure I was smarter than everyone else, and that made me better than
them, too.
        Well, I'm neither.  Even college didn't teach me that; the National
Guard did, and it is why I will remain grateful to the Army for the rest
of my life.  In the National Guard I met a *lot* of different kinds of
people, people (and types of people) I never would have met otherwise.  I
found out you don't have to go to college to have lots of ability, and I
found out you don't even have to be an intellectual to be a great (and
worthwhile, and highly capable) person.
        I learned what I know about humility.  It may not be apparent to
everyone, but if there's anyone who knew me in high school, I'm a
different person now.  I don't classify people as "smart like me" and
"everyone else" any more.  I don't write *anyone* off.  I don't think of
myself as a higher class of human any more.  I'm just another guy.  I was
all along, of course, but I didn't admit it.  Now I'm very happy with it.
I'm happy with myself.  And I'm much happier with other people.

response 9 of 68:

Jun 24 03:44 UTC 1992

Military, the valuable leveler, true.

response 11 of 68:

Jun 25 14:40 UTC 1992

   I'm an optomist about life (my own, anyway), but somewhat
cynical (cautious?) about people.  People who are close to
you have a lot more ability to hurt you, because you generally
respect and value their opinions and take them to heart.  
   Over the years, I've come to look at how people behave and
what they do, rather than what they say.  Not because people
are inherently hypocritical, but because many people don't
fully understand themselves.  (I've been told that one gains this
understanding with age, but can't judge the validity of that
hypothesis yet).  There are few thoroughly 'bad' people; I
think almost everyone feels themselves to be mostly 'good'.
We just don't all agree on what 'good' and 'bad' are (and
most people have less 'desirable' impulses, whether they give
those impulses expression or not).

    The world, I think, is basically benign.  Our society in
particular, I'm not sure about.  There is a lot of beauty, joy,
and pleasure in both.  You just have to have enough knowledge
and caution to avoid the dangerous and the unpleasant.  And expect
to occaisionally get hurt, and heal.  Better to take risks, and
live, than to spend all your energy guarding yourself from any
possible hurt.

response 13 of 68:

Jun 25 15:16 UTC 1992

    To answer the original question, I've had few 'revelations'
that radically change the way I view a situation or the world.
Perhaps that's because I tend to hold several contradictory
views on things, when I don't see a clear answer. (For
example, my earlier statements that one has to take risks to
be truly alive, and that you can avoid the hurts with some
caution and knowledge.)

response 15 of 68:

Jun 25 17:44 UTC 1992

I agree that you have to take risks to stay alive and in touch,
but a risk is a risk, and hence, while knowledge and maturity can
reduce the probability of hurt, it cannot eliminate the possibility.

I also agree with the statement in #11 that behavior tells you more
than words.  That one's been confirmed for me time and again.

There are some well-known aphorisms that pretty well encapsulate
these viewpoints:

    o Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
    o Experience is the best teacher.
    o Actions speak louder than words.

response 17 of 68:

Jun 25 21:14 UTC 1992

My point was not so much that motivation can be inferred from actions,
but rather that what you observe a person *doing* is a much better
indicator of what you can expect from that person in the future than
what you hear them *saying*.  When it comes to people, consistency of
behavior patterns is the rule, change -- although it can certainly happen
-- the exception.

In particular, when I observe that someone's words contradict what I
see them doing, I consider that they are *less* likely to change their
behavior than otherwise, because it indicates to me that they are not
working on change.  More that they are deceiving themselves than that
they are willfully deceiving others.

Maybe this isn't the same thing as Tom's original point, but it's
something I've observed about people.

response 19 of 68:

Jun 27 18:45 UTC 1992

Why not just don't worry, be happy. You're too serious.

response 21 of 68:

Jul 1 04:34 UTC 1992

        Happiness is an imaginable (but not achievable) state of mind, the
contemplation of which involves thinking of something, anything, else that
you might be doing.  The grass really is always greener on the other side
of the fence.

response 23 of 68:

Jul 1 13:05 UTC 1992

oops.