That Special Someone

Jan 15 01:35 UTC 2006

A long time ago (well before I was an active participant in these conferences,
in fact) there was an item about "that special someone" -- what would he or she
be like? Now, more than ten years later, I'd like some discussion on the same
topic. (If any of you remember what you said ten years or so ago -- the item's
in the Archive conference now -- you might want to comment on how your "ideal"
has changed.) 

response 2 of 104:

Jan 15 03:19 UTC 2006

before we had dick.

response 4 of 104:

Jan 15 06:00 UTC 2006

I can imagine a man who fulfills all of 3,4,5,6(ish),7,8,9, and 10, but since
I don't believe there are any women who actually ENJOY (much less LOVE) 1 and
2, I doubt you'd get a man who'd LOVE doing 1 and 2, either. Of course, that
doesn't mean they wouldn't do it.

response 6 of 104:

Jan 15 14:19 UTC 2006

What would be an example of a male feminist?

response 8 of 104:

Jan 15 18:29 UTC 2006

If that's "feminism," I can't see how any rational person isn't one -- but
"feminism" to me has the connotation of "believing that the old gender role is
inherently evil and no sane woman wants to fill it."

For me there are a couple of things that I would look for:
1) The intangible "spark" that makes me never want to forget her face. This is
a) in my experience more likely to to happen if she smiles, b) more often than
not something that only occurs if it occurs the first time I see her, and c)
something that happens in both people I'd want to become romantically involved
with and in people I'd want to become very good, close, intimate friends
without romance. (Some very good advice I got once -- our dorm held a series of
talks about "relationships" and I went to the one on male-female friendships --
said that every true friendship begins with a "falling-in-love" moment, and
that one should assume a relationship is only a friendship until the contrary
becomes blatantly obvious.)

2) The quality that I'd describe as "being the other half of my soul." I've met
several people that on occasion I can get into such joyful conversations with
(on the *wierdest* topics, too -- like "can God have the experience of eating a
strawberry for the first time?") where we seem to always know how a sentence
will finish as soon as it's begun; that's a part of this quality. Then there's
the part of it where anything she says seems to resonate with me. Again, I've
had flashes of this in the past, so I think I know what it feels like. The
third part of this is the "when she's cut, I bleed" and loneliness-when-apart
factor.

That's a beginning of what I hope to find.

response 10 of 104:

Jan 15 20:19 UTC 2006

If I were "romantically involved with" or married to her, probably not so much.
I mentioned it as an *early* symptom of the "disease."

response 12 of 104:

Jan 16 00:52 UTC 2006

Yeah, I don't think a majority of people have a problem with the
abstract idea of equality. However, in reality everyone disagrees with
the implementation. For example, would supporting affirmative action for
females be feminist, or anti-feminist?

response 14 of 104:

Jan 16 03:25 UTC 2006

slynne, except for 6 & 7, you should marry bignasty

response 16 of 104:

Jan 16 05:21 UTC 2006

btw, about "feminism", Chile gets a new president, who's a girl:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4615802.stm

".......
President Michelle Bachelet also has a sound and experienced party
machine behind her, a strong mandate from the Chilean electorate to
govern and a fresh approach to a job that has traditionally been for men
only.
........."

a catholic-spaniard country, ie. supposed to be machist.

besides, it seems 1/2 of south America is slowly heading towards a
yuropean alike social-democracy political scheme.

Yanks still have in office the
bronco-ranchero-mission-accomplished-its-hard-work guy?

response 18 of 104:

Jan 16 06:48 UTC 2006

 re #56:  if you want to talk about feminism and European-style government,
 why not enter an item on your thoughts about the Norwegian government's
 proposal to require Norwegian companies to radically change the makeup of
 their boards of directors to increase female membership?

response 20 of 104:

Jan 16 15:25 UTC 2006

re resp:11 Check out resp 112 in that item...


It looks like I did indeed post in that old item:

#12 of 219 by Anne Perry (anne) on Wed Mar 22 17:53:07 1995:

(this is now linked with oathbound, it's item #30)

What do I look for?  Hmm, someone I can care about, someone who can make
me laugh.  Who likes to spend time with me, and talk to me.  Someone who
gives back rubs... :)  Intelligence is a definite plus...



Hmm, with regard to the hubby- check, check, check, check, check and
check. ;) Though given our work schedules there really isn't enough time
to spend together. Though we do talk every night on the phone.

response 22 of 104:

Jan 17 05:06 UTC 2006

re #18:

<<if you want to talk about feminism and European-style government, why
not enter an item on your thoughts about the Norwegian government's
proposal to require Norwegian companies to radically change the makeup
of their boards of directors to increase female membership?>>where
foreigners are

(I am too lazy to enter items...)
Yes, the norse and others will reach parity in the business, macho
controlled microcosm.If only Dubya was able to read a map and find
Norway on it, he would launch an Operation-Norway-Freedom
Mission-To-be-Accomplished to save the norse from such a socialist
evil...

then rcurl (Re: #17)will shut my mouth down with a:
quite a few US companies have a female CEO, and quite a few US companies
are bigger than your silly small stinking foreign company out over there


:-D

response 24 of 104:

Jan 17 11:59 UTC 2006

Re #23:

Perhaps, but I believe that if I marry anyone at all I will marry only one
person -- my "ideals" are what I hope she will be like.