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| Author |
Message |
russ
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Summer's the time for laughs
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Jun 23 03:21 UTC 2003 |
Just heard a rib tickler? Share it here.
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| 93 responses total. |
naftee
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response 1 of 93:
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Jun 23 03:28 UTC 2003 |
Yeah, why'd you send me that tel?
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polytarp
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response 2 of 93:
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Jun 23 03:46 UTC 2003 |
Please share the tel with the rest of the crass.
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naftee
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response 3 of 93:
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Jun 23 03:48 UTC 2003 |
I lost it, but it was something about calling ts a liar and a theif
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polytarp
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response 4 of 93:
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Jun 23 03:57 UTC 2003 |
Oh. Yeah, Russ has a long standing Rage with poor TSTY.
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dcat
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response 5 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:07 UTC 2003 |
Q: What do you get if you cross an mouse with a elephant?
A: Mouse elephant sin theta.
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tod
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response 6 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:24 UTC 2003 |
This response has been erased.
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gregb
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response 7 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:28 UTC 2003 |
Whew! I thought I'd be the only one.
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aruba
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response 8 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:40 UTC 2003 |
Heh. I get it.
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jazz
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response 9 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:43 UTC 2003 |
Q: What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mountain
goat?
A: Nothing. You can't cross a "scaler" (scalar) with anything.
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eskarina
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response 10 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:45 UTC 2003 |
<chuckle>
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tod
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response 11 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:54 UTC 2003 |
This response has been erased.
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mynxcat
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response 12 of 93:
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Jun 23 17:06 UTC 2003 |
Something that's not a vector.
Very geeky joke. I feel my geek-meter go up, just because I understood
that one
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drew
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response 13 of 93:
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Jun 23 17:29 UTC 2003 |
Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
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naftee
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response 14 of 93:
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Jun 23 17:42 UTC 2003 |
drew; past of draw
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oval
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response 15 of 93:
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Jun 23 18:11 UTC 2003 |
>GLOBAL ECONOMICS DE-MYSTIFIED
>
>SOCIALISM:
>You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
>
>COMMUNISM:
>You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and
>gives you some milk.
>
>FASCISM:
>You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and
>sells you some milk.
>
>NAZISM:
>You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and
>shoots you.
>
>BUREAUCRATISM:
>
>You have 2 cows; the Government takes both,
>shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...
>
>TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
>You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
>Your herd multiplies,and the economy grows. You sell them and
>retire on the income.
>
>AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
>other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a
>consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
>
>A FRENCH CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You go on strike because you
>want three cows.
>A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
>one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times
>the milk.
>You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and
>market them
>World-Wide.
>
>A GERMAN CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100
>years,eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>
>A BRITISH CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
>AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
>You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
>lunch.
>A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.You
>count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
>You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting
>cows and
>open another bottle of vodka.
>
>A SWISS CORPORATION:
>You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others
>for storing them.
>
>A CHINESE CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
>them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and
>arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
>
>AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
>AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You worship them.
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dcat
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response 16 of 93:
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Jun 24 01:43 UTC 2003 |
resp:15 : I love :edit and emacs. . . .
Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your
thumbs. --Unknown
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them, they translate it
into their own language, and forthwith it means something entirely different.
-- Goethe
The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty
prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant
with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.
-- St. Augustine
A math professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
"Sex and drugs? They're nothing compared with a good proof!"
-- Unknown math student
Q: What is the world's longest song?
A: "Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall."
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
A: To get to the other ... er, um ...
Ok, I'll stop (for) now.
(The first is from [http://www.usrbingeek.com/]'s quote generator; the rest
are from [http://www.math.utah.edu/~cherk/mathjokes.html].)
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russ
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response 17 of 93:
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Jun 24 03:48 UTC 2003 |
And in the vein of the previous geek giggles:
Q: Why are the flights in and out of Warsaw always half-empty,
with only the seats on the left side of the aisle in use?
A: Because any system is unstable if it has Poles in the right half plane.
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rcurl
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response 18 of 93:
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Jun 24 06:57 UTC 2003 |
You can stabilize those Poles in the right-half plane with some positive
feedback.
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lynne
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response 19 of 93:
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Jun 24 15:52 UTC 2003 |
<I *think* the counting in octal joke is a paraphrase of a Tom Lehrer joke
from the song "New Math". But can't swear that that's the absolute original
source.>
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remmers
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response 20 of 93:
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Jun 24 17:53 UTC 2003 |
Did St. Augustine really say that?
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dcat
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response 21 of 93:
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Jun 24 19:14 UTC 2003 |
From Salman Rushdie, whose 56th birthday was last week:
"What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases
to exist."
"Rock and roll music - the music of freedom frightens people and
unleashes all manner of conservative defense mechanisms."
((resp:20 - I'll try to find another citation for the Augustine, and a
source, if I can.))
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