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bhelliom
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Depression 101
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Jun 26 15:29 UTC 2002 |
This item is to discuss the feeling you get
when you start to mistake the Bummed item
for the Happy item, when your occasional
down feelings become DANGEROUSLY commonplace.
Depression affects everyone in our respective communities in different
ways. It is a subject that is only beginning to receive due attention
in open media, but remains a topic that is riddled with myths and
misconceptions and the stigma attached to this treatable illness is one
of the most common reasons why it is a hard issue for many to confront.
"Depression 101" is exactly what it sounds like. An intro to a
discussion with many twists and turns, tangents and subtopics. It is
for those like myself who are just beginning to uncover the surface of
this problem, whether this is the first encounter or a lifelong
struggle, as well as those who can (and do!) look on their experiences
in a different way, having come out on the other side. Of course this
is also for those who are close to someone struggling with Depression
and for those who are simply interested in learning more.
Personal stories, questions regarding the illness, finding a therapist,
impact on close friends and family . . . we can all discuss it here.
This is also intended to be a safe place for those who are dealing with
this and want support. Though no one here is a trained professional,
those that are willing can certainly help steer someone in the right
direction. This also means, of course that it would be appreciated if
those that participate be sensitive to those who choose to share. It
doesn't mean that humor is not appreciated, it means *be an adult*.
Anything goes folks . . . let's make this a great discussion!
<Upon conf. turnover, you can find this item in Inferno, the resident
Psyche conference. Should you wish to wait until turnover when this
item is less visible to post personal words, feel free to access the
item at that time.>
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| 170 responses total. |
cmcgee
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response 1 of 170:
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Jun 26 15:33 UTC 2002 |
When the fw of Recovery conf is decided, maybe this can be linked.
jacklumen has a similar item there.
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cmcgee
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response 2 of 170:
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Jun 26 15:34 UTC 2002 |
Um, I didn't realize this was also an Agora item. Maybe link in the fall.
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jaklumen
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response 3 of 170:
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Jun 27 05:45 UTC 2002 |
I remember there being a depression item in spring Agora.
The item in recovery is about mental illness in general. It would be
wonderful to link this item since depression seems to be one of the
more common ones. *chuckle* cmcgee, I guess it's your turn to bug
Walter (i). I got a very nice e-mail from him, and he stopped
responding after that.
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clees
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response 4 of 170:
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Jun 27 06:26 UTC 2002 |
There definitely is still a stigma on depression.
Many people respond to your situation with the remark: 'get a grip.'
Like it's easy. Even my twin had the nerve to say something similar to
me in 1996-97, when I had my depression. Harsh, no?
The way I dealt with the problem was, as it was so clear to notice, not
to hide the fact I was in therapy, but be open about it.
Eventually I discovered one of the reasons for the depression: my worse
than bad relationship withg my father, whom had committed suicide in
1991. My therapist managed to make me get to terms with it. She did
this by merely nudging me in the right direction.
I believe that depression in general increases.
I have got the impression that the demands society puts on individuals
is growing. Life nowadays is much more complex than it was, say fifty
years ago. I have been discussing this idea with my own therapist
(behavioral therapy, not an analyst), and she concurred.
See, depression happens a lot among people of my own generation (30+).
I fear that the generation coming after me (20+) is subject to even
more strong demands.
For instance, keeping and maintaining a relationship is harder
nowadays. The partners not only desire a sensitivity, loyalty,
intelligence, wit, care etc, but also good providership and excellent
bed performance. It's quite a lot to answer to, and it's only one thing.
Concluding I'll be the last to have an opinion on depression. I know
how hard it is to cope with it. Anybody I care about can count on my
(mental) support / empathy.
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jaklumen
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response 5 of 170:
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Jun 27 06:41 UTC 2002 |
As a member of the older twentysomethings, yeah, I think the stresses
may be worse.
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brighn
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response 6 of 170:
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Jun 27 13:48 UTC 2002 |
#4,5> Bah. Every generation says that, and it's rarely true. Why don't know
what it was like to be 25 in 1955, or in 1855, or in 1755, because we weren't.
#4> On getting a grip: I think there's a tendency for people who have mental
problems to allow the problems to rule their lives. That's close to the psych
distinction between functional and dysfucntional problems. Functionally ill
people can still do their basic life things, but they feel uncomfortable in
the realm of their disorder; dysfunctional people are actually blocked from
doing major things because of their disorder. Overwhelmingly, most people are
functional, and so it's tempting (I think) to respond to someone who's
claiming obstruction due to illness to "get a grip": It could be a statement
of callousness, but it could also be a statement of, "Look, I saw you do X
last week, and a few months ago, and several times last year, so I know you
can do X, there's no reason why you can't do X now." And the truth is,
sometimes that little "get a grip" speech is what some people need to crawl
out of the hole (while, unfortunately, sometimes it drives them in deeper).
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bhelliom
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response 7 of 170:
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Jun 27 14:48 UTC 2002 |
There is the fact, though, that lots of folks have been telling
themselves to "get a grip," and for a while, it works, I think. It
feels so much worse when you're someone that has always been considered
the "strong one," someone that's supposed to have it under control.
Then you realize you didn't necessarily have control in the first place,
just a major wall which acted as a bit of a self-defence mechanism, and
you never had a filter for the depressing thoughts that most folks can
talk themselves out of believing. Then the wall comes down and you have
no protection whatsoever. You don't want to monopolize your friends'
time, you don't want to make it difficult for people to be happy or
enjoy themselves in your presence, and you chastize yourself for not
being as supportive of others as you feel you have been in the past.
I don't think that the demands placed on people in my age group are any
harder than they have been in the past. The demands are diferent, and
perhaps more unique that those in the past because the world has changed
so quickly in the last 20 years. The demands may seem harder simply due
to the fact that they are harder compared to the obligations we had to
fulfill as children. Most of our needs were met without us lifting a
finger, and we were partially shielded from many societal prohibitions,
obligations, etc.
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jmsaul
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response 8 of 170:
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Jun 27 15:19 UTC 2002 |
I have a friend who's a clinical psychologist, who works with some severely
messed-up people. His advice to people who are depressed is to drink a ton
of water (more than you're thirsty for -- like a couple pints) and get out
in the sun and exercise, even if it's just walking around the block five or
six times. He doesn't claim this will work for everyone, because some really
will need medication and/or therapy, but it should at least lessen the effects
and in mild cases can lift the depression.
I don't know why this works, exactly, but I've seen it do the trick, and he's
got hands-on experience to back it up.
Your mileage may vary, but his method costs nothing and is good for you even
if it doesn't lift the depression, so it may be worth giving it a try.
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slynne
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response 9 of 170:
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Jun 27 15:44 UTC 2002 |
When I worked at ASH, one of the things we did for people who were
depressed was to strongly encourage them to get out and walk around the
block a couple of times a day. It really does wonders even with folks
who really need the medication. I also have had personal experience
with depression and I have found that walking in the daylight makes a
huge difference. Socializing helps too if I feel up to it but like
others have described here, sometimes I am not. A walk around the block
and good cry go a long way.
I have also tried the water thing. Sometimes it works for me, sometimes
it doesnt. The theory behind it is that a small bit of dehydration will
make you feel low energy which can feel like depression. You wont
necessarily feel thirsty. So drinking some extra water might help. I
know that I feel really tired when I dont get enough water so there
might be something to that.
Personally, I think that doing something, no matter what, does help
lift depression. Taking action helps depression. I think it even can
help if that something is simply talking about it with others. This is
why it is a real shame that there is a stigma attached to depression
and therapy. It keeps people from taking action to deal with the
depression and ends up making the illness worse.
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bhelliom
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response 10 of 170:
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Jun 27 16:36 UTC 2002 |
In part, I think it's simply a part of larger picture. We're emerging
from a culture that taught people to keep their problems under wraps,
whether it be illness, addiction, abuse, you name it.
Actually, I do think that everyone's moods can benefit to some degree
with regular physical exerise of varying levels. In my case, I used to
work out 2 hours everyday, and it felt really great. For me it was also
a distraction, not just theraputic. A double-edged sword. I think it
will be easier for me to do the things I enjoy, including physical
exercise, sports, etc., once certain variables are more under control.
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slynne
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response 11 of 170:
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Jun 27 17:05 UTC 2002 |
I think part of it might also be that in the past, people's daily lives
involved a lot more physically hard work. And it was easy to get
motivated to do all that exercise because if one didnt get up and farm
the land, one ended up starving or in the poor house or whatever.
People didnt have time to be depressed.
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edina
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response 12 of 170:
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Jun 27 18:26 UTC 2002 |
My grandmother says that about divorce. People didn't have the time to
examine if their marriage was good - they were too busy working.
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bhelliom
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response 13 of 170:
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Jun 27 18:46 UTC 2002 |
That does in fact make sense to me . . .
For some, including myself, staying busy is a great way to forestall
the worse parts of depression. The more one focuses on their work, be
it manual labor or any other type, the easier it is to ignore, if you
notice it at all. I was one of the ones without a clue.
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jep
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response 14 of 170:
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Jun 27 18:48 UTC 2002 |
People my age grew up facing the real possibility of global nuclear war
and the expected result of most or all life on the planet being
destroyed. We had bombing drills when I was in elementary school.
My parents grew up during the Great Depression and World War II, then
brought me into the world to face the aforementioned nuclear war.
Their parents grew up when smallpox and polio killed and crippled many.
The generation preceding them worked 15 hours a day on farms, every
day. They came here from various places around Europe, for the most
part, so they could enjoy that kind of luxurious lifestyle in relative
peace.
I don't think young people now have it all *that* tough.
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edina
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response 15 of 170:
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Jun 27 18:51 UTC 2002 |
One set of stressers got exchanged for another, that's all.
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orinoco
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response 16 of 170:
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Jun 27 18:56 UTC 2002 |
That's an interesting comparison. I like it because it says something about
the way we look at depression. Everyone, I think, will agree that something's
wrong if you're too busy to tell how your marriage is going. But I'll bet
that "too busy to be depressed" sounded pretty good to you, at least at first.
It sure sounded good to me.
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orinoco
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response 17 of 170:
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Jun 27 18:57 UTC 2002 |
Er, that was re #12.
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mary
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response 18 of 170:
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Jun 27 19:05 UTC 2002 |
Something I've noticed about mild or moderately depressed
people is that they spend a whole lot of time thinking about
themselves. They are doing this moment to moment thing measuring
how they are doing in this situation and what is that person
thinking about me and why in the world did I do that, etc.
I'm not sure what comes first, they get depressed because they
see themselves under such a microscope (who wouldn't) or the
depression draws them into a "me" circle.
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bhelliom
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response 19 of 170:
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Jun 27 19:56 UTC 2002 |
My guess is that it comes in all forms, and that even the "me" circle
that you talk about shows up even in the most subtle of ways, including
self-critical behaviours.
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eskarina
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response 20 of 170:
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Jun 27 21:16 UTC 2002 |
Good point, Mary. Yeah, I find that my mood goes down when I'm not working
with kids as much, probably because when I'm working with a roomful of them
I don't think of me nearly as much as I do when I'm not. The post-camp
depression is the worst.
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