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| Author |
Message |
zoe
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dying
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Jan 31 05:43 UTC 1999 |
as painful as it is,
i'm remembering again..
soaring on the wind's warm breath,
spinning into colorful feilds,
becoming one with their waves of emotion--
never a cloudy day.
my moon-beam wings,
my childish smile...
now i see it as a dream.
my prism feilds have gone pale and gray,
my wings now translucent to the eye.
i've been beyond the star's sharp glare,
and danced upon every sea...
now alone and afraid--
crying for the past,
though it fades with each memory...
bring me back to the crystal skies,
and the winds sure breeze--
for that was my true home...
now i sit as a girl,
in a world of hate and lies;
where i can't belong...
i'm loosing my past..
don't let me die in this bad dream.
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| 36 responses total. |
bookworm
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response 1 of 36:
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Feb 1 03:18 UTC 1999 |
Ooh. That's a scary one. You should read my nightmare one. Simply
titled "Nighmare" on this cf. (selfless plug) :)
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lumen
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response 2 of 36:
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Feb 1 03:57 UTC 1999 |
I would say haunting, myself. You have a wonderful command of imagery,
although I believe this skill can and will be further improved with
time. The Imagist movement (as my wife described it to me) would be
proud of you.
(myself, I fancy myself a surrealist/Imagist poet)
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toking
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response 3 of 36:
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Feb 1 12:09 UTC 1999 |
in the immortal words of Cartman "Sweet!"
this is good...
"soaring on the wind's warm breath,
spinning into colorful feilds,
becoming one with their waves of emotion--"
That right there is just a wonderful set of lines
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logansan
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response 4 of 36:
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Feb 1 17:12 UTC 1999 |
I love this one, not like, but love ... can I get a signed copy :)
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zoe
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response 5 of 36:
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Feb 1 20:30 UTC 1999 |
its based on my nightmare/dream... intangible bliss that i don't
posses in my own life... reading this one makes me cry...
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bookworm
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response 6 of 36:
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Feb 1 21:23 UTC 1999 |
Interesting feedback you've got here, Zoe. Thinking about publishing a
book of your work. If you did, I'd buy it. I always go for good
poetry. Gives me some ideas of how I can improve my own stuff.
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lumen
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response 7 of 36:
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Feb 1 22:53 UTC 1999 |
resp: 5-- Real life always seems to give strength and structure to art;
if you subscribe to the idea that art is expression of reality, however
creatively reconstructed.
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zoe
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response 8 of 36:
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Feb 2 20:02 UTC 1999 |
no one really reads poetry anymore... not since the romantic age.. i
have already been published, it didn't feel right... its like giving a
peice of myself to strangers to discet.. i don't enjoy exposing my soul
to just random people... i'm shy.. i wouldn't be here if it weren't for
joe's encouragement...
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toking
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response 9 of 36:
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Feb 2 20:16 UTC 1999 |
I still think it was pretty sneaky not telling me your login til after I
got all geeked about your first post :)
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zoe
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response 10 of 36:
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Feb 2 22:44 UTC 1999 |
if i had told you, i thought i wouldn't get your honest opinion on my
stuff... besides, i enjoy torturing you... just take a note of the
grilled cheese.
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bookworm
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response 11 of 36:
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Feb 3 07:17 UTC 1999 |
Good job. You go girl. Somebody's gotta keep the guys here in line.
If they don't get punctured once in a while they get swelled heads. ;)
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lumen
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response 12 of 36:
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Feb 3 23:30 UTC 1999 |
re: resp:8 I really do empathize. Most of my poetry is very personal to
me and I was reluctant to post here. I valued feedback a little more,
however, so here I am.
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bookworm
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response 13 of 36:
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Feb 4 01:49 UTC 1999 |
I just like to share.
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zoe
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response 14 of 36:
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Feb 4 21:50 UTC 1999 |
i have trouble expressing TRUE self to people... all i have is my art
and poetry.. and even then, no one really comprehends what i attempt to
project with it.. eventually i will give up all togeather... it hurts
to write something and have someone give you a blank "what" stare... it
makes me feel like i'm ignorant or something.. then again, the people
around here tell me to speak english when i use "big words" like
irrelevent...
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