china doll

Oct 2 18:12 UTC 2000

Her hair is long and silky, 
with her face done up like a china doll.
She has long slender legs, 
and perfect curves.
She walks by confidently,
her perfume invading my senses,
and looks at me with pity and disgust.
And here I stand,
covered head to toe in cloth.
Her eyes meet mine, and I smile politely,
and she only looks away.
Perhaps she is to good to smile at me.
I begin to walk up the sidewalk,
behing her at some distance.
I watch as men gaze at her,
they jest and smirl with one and another.
One calls"hey baby, where you going so fast"
The beauty only glares in their direction.
Some other guys cut in front of me walking,
and I can hear them saying,
"man..she has a nice ass.."
As they continue to talk about girls from the bar last night...
I only shake my head in shame.
I walk past the same men, and not a word is uttered.
For there is nothing for them to say.
This body is mine, and I protect it.
I cover it from their view,
and I am happy to not be the next man's desire.
I pity this girl, as beautiful as she is.
SOmeone has convinced here ther is a need to showit all off.
To buy fancy clothes, and sweet perfume,
so men will fancy her.
Beauty is in the eys of the beholder,
and whoever said this,
still remains true.

response 2 of 19:

Oct 2 19:07 UTC 2000

I still can't quite say I understand the reasoning behind your change in
lifestyle, Meg. Oh well.

response 4 of 19:

Oct 4 18:54 UTC 2000

The idea in this has promise.  

response 6 of 19:

Oct 5 03:08 UTC 2000

an exclaimation of a non-commental nature.

response 8 of 19:

Oct 6 15:52 UTC 2000

oh -- sorry, I didn't even look to see how I used "eh" in context -- in taht
case it was a "huh?" becaus eI didn't understand Craig's comment.

response 10 of 19:

Oct 28 05:00 UTC 2000

(warning: lengthy resp, proceed at risk of snoozing)  (;

BTW, Jon, my name's E R I N N.

 : resp:3  I'm not sure what you mean, Erin.. if you mean you 
 : empathize with the sentiments in the poem, well.. forgive me for 
 : being so frank, but I wonder why you would think that.
 : 
 : Why?
 :
        In Dallas, I walk down the street and get whistles and cat calls
from (mostly Mexican) people driving down the road.  First of all, I find
this irritating and ridiculous, that an adult would behave so immaturely.
Their attentions, whether they're sincerely ment or not, make me feel like
"a piece of meat" (time-honored phrasing, thought I'd toss it in there).

        Secondly, my street smarts tell me to blend and not be seen and
so be able to avoid confrontation with danger.  A pretty woman garners
more attention than a plain one, and attention can result in anything from
hoots/hollars/whistles to violence.

        It's one of those Laws Of The Jungle types of things, I guess. 
It's a way of protecting myself from those that would do me harm, and so
when walking out in the open, I will carry myself with intent, but not
swing my hips too much or lift my head too high.  The woman in freedom's
poem believes that the attentions bestowed on her by the men are
complimentary, but I feel that that's indicative of her naivity, her
ignorence of the dangers of the world. 

        Ok, there's a few ways you can look at this.  Maybe the poet feels
some envy toward the girl and seeks to assure herself that her own
self image of being plain is better than being beautiful, that beautiful
people are endangered because of their beauty.  Or maybe the poet is being
realistic, recognizing that beauty is a double edged sword that should be
used with tact.  


 : 1) saw your picture and thought, "gee, she is really lovely and I 
 : know she's probably breaking hearts whether she knows it or not"
 :
        Thanks. (:

 : 2) met you in person and thought, "wow, she seems to be 
 : beautiful inside as well.. so sweet and she really will bring 
 : happiness to the right man"
 :
        Hm.  That remains to be seen (the "bringing happiness to the right
man" bit, I mean).  I *am* beautiful on the inside.  And when I decide to
show my inner self, it's because I trust both the environment and people
I'm around.  Without that trust, I am no more noteworthy than any other
knot in the wood.  I value this ability.  I feel that it keeps me safe.


 : 3) had to smack myself and remember that I was married, but still 
 : was in awe of someone I thought had so much potential
 :
        <g>  And a lovely wife she is, too.  <wink>

        Awe?  Certainly that's an overdramatization.

 : 4) I wonder why Erin would empathize.. surely there are guys that 
 : think really well of her
 :
        People are attracted to me for another reason, too: I have a habit
of breaking their normal patterns of interaction, which automatically
makes me of extra interest.  I draw quiet people into conversation; I make
loud, boisterous people laugh.  

        (Sidenote: Lexi once told me that my first summer at Interlochen,
very few people would talk to me because I was "both loud and silent at
the same time," and that it was an unsettling thing to be around. ) 

 : 5) for that matter, although I haven't met Megan, I'll bet she's a real 
 : sweetheart and a wonderful person, so why should either of these 
 : two have to feel that way?
 :
        <high fives Megan>  We rule.  (;

 
 : 6) there is probably some symbolism I'm missing.
 :
        I am, of course, only showing what *I* understand Megan's poem to
be about.  Her interperatation might be different.