flem
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The Creator
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Jun 4 02:44 UTC 1999 |
This was written after reading Erinn's "Time Honored Tradition",
item:61. Thanks for the inspiration!
The Creator 6/3/99
As I hold this half-formed wooden figure,
I feel that much closer to my maker.
I know what it must have felt like
Just before the breath of life was
Granted Man; I feel a shadow of God's joy
As I, too, little god of little wooden
Men, shape little worlds.
My people speak to me,
Silently they call on me to free
Their crudely moulded bodies from the
Grain of cedar, oak, mahogany.
Simple folk, stiff and silent always,
I feel so much love for these, my children.
Fashioned in the likeness of their maker,
Crudely, clumsily, they love me too.
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orinoco
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response 1 of 6:
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Jun 6 22:30 UTC 1999 |
This is a wonderful idea - especially the last line. The image of the artist
as God is pretty common, but the idea of the artists creations loving him as
he loves God is a twist I haven't seen before, and I like it.
The only complaint I have is that some of the line breaks are in awkward
places. Splitting "wooden men" across a line break is especially clunky.
Is there some sort of meter scheme here that I'm not seeing that forces you
to break the line there?
Other than that, as I said before, I like this a lot.
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