Fun With Pumpkins

Oct 7 13:31 UTC 2002

This was in the Washington Post ... the title of the article was "Best
Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white 
male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on 
Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, 
public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County 
(Atlanta area) courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he 
was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop.

"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one
around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a
phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a
hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need.

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident
embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County
police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer 
Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.

"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you 
are screwing a pumpkin?' "

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then 
looked me straight in the face and said,

"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"