devilmac
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How to annoy everyone in the lab
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Oct 23 01:43 UTC 2006 |
How to annoy everyone in the computer lab
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream
"Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look
suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that
you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5
minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you
evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different
screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the
highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something
on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret
Pentagon files.
9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it,
say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at
everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
13. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray
"Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
14. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion
Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
15. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the
smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
16. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done
(two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
17. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your
desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
18. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place
them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around
the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on
plastic.
19. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
20. Assign a musical note to every key (i.e.. the Delete key is A Flat,
the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly.
Write an entire paper this way.
21. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
22. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until
you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill
isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete
key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does
*your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar
on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your
neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been
hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!"
Print out your document and leave.
23. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and
complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some
Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.
24. Stare at the person's next to your screen, look really puzzled, burst
out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff
and leave, howling as you go.
25. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them
like you've known them all your lives. Hang-up before they get a chance to
figure out you're a total stranger.
26. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects.
Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
27. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead
doesn't work.
Anyone have anything else?
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