response 83 of 160:

Jan 8 19:10 UTC 2004

Hmmm. I think I will use this place to write about some of my personal 
feelings about this whole business with the M-net "agora" parody. It 
seems appropriate to talk about such things here. 

While my comments in the one particular item involving valerie really 
honestly were not made in a mean spirited way, there are other comments 
in that conference that are somewhat mean spirited. I have been 
engaging in some intraspection about why I would find such things funny 
and just what is the difference between the parody posts of people I 
like and those of people I dont like. 

I admittedly parodied valerie a lot there. I also have parodied keesan 
a lot too. But they are two people I really like and respect. In fact, 
in those two particular cases, the traits I parodied are the very 
traits I like *most* about them. This is especially true with keesan. 
Her personality is so unique and interesting and while she does seem to 
obsess over certain details, I am always impressed with just how very 
functional her life is. In some ways I envy her and wish I could be 
more like her (although most of the time I am pretty happy to be like 
me). 

This business has had me thinking a lot about a certain friend of mine 
named Terry. He has one of the best dry sarcastic senses of humor of 
anyone I know. When he mocks someone it is really funny. He could be a 
professional comedian. But, when I first met him and he mocked me, it 
did hurt my feelings. I had forgotten that. It hurt my feelings because 
I thought it meant he didnt like me. Later on, when I realized that he 
did like me I grew to like the way he mocked me. 

On my very first backpacking trip (which was in November), I had over 
done it. I had blisters on my feet. I was cold. I had slipped in the 
mud and pulled a muscle in my leg that hurt so bad, I could barely 
walk. Late in the day we came to a part of the trail with a huge hill. 
I honestly didnt think I would make it up the hill. I started to cry. 
First Terry mocked my crying. Then he ran up the hill and started 
singing "Everybody Hurts" by REM. So, instead of crying, I soon 
realized I was laughing. I joked about how I was going to climb that 
hill just to punch him in the nose. We both laughed. I climbed the 
hill. Anyhow, that is just a memory that has come back to me because of 
all this business. Mostly because last September, I went to a wedding 
of a person who also knows Terry and he and I spent almost an hour 
mocking Terry and making fun of him even though he wasnt there. It 
wasnt mean spirited at all but was rather a way of us dealing with his 
absence at this function and how we all missed him a lot (he moved to 
Hawaii about 3 years ago). 

But, in that conference I also made fun of people I dont like or where 
angry with at the time. That was mean spirited. It is no secret, for 
instance, that I really dont like russ. He is just one of the most 
horrible people I have ever met. But he is *really* fun to make fun of. 
Whenever I have parodied him, it was more cutting than other things. 
Mostly because I'm usually making fun of traits I dont like about him. 
Even when I was making fun of his very few endearing qualities, it was 
always done in a mean way. The thing I have to admit is that while I am 
sorry that valerie's feelings have been hurt, I really dont care about 
his feelings. I really dont. In his case, I realize that he could read 
those items and think "Oh, I feel bad" and I wouldnt care. And even 
though like most other people, I want to be liked, I dont really care 
about his opinion so if he were to think, "Oh that Lynne is such a 
bitch", that wouldnt bother me either. *shrug*

I have more thoughts about this but I am running out of time for the 
moment. I'll post more later.