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| Author |
Message |
polytarp
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BREAD.
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Jun 13 00:31 UTC 2002 |
Ban Bread!
1.More than 98% of convicted felons are bread users.
2.Fully HALF of all children who grew up in bread
consuming households score below average on
standardized tests.
3.In the 18th century, where virtually all bread was baked
in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50
years; infant mortality rates were exceptionally high; many
woman died in childbirth and diseases such as typhoid,
yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4.More than 90% of violent crimes are committed within
24 hours of eating bread.
5.Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven
that as little as one pound of
dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats
more bread than that in
one month.
6.Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence
of cancer, Alzheimer's
Disease, Parkinson's Disease as well as osteoporosis.
7.Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread
and given only water to eat
begged for bread in as little as two days.
8.Newborn babies can choke on bread.
9.Bread is baked in temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit!
That kind of heat can kill an
adult in less than one minute.
10.Bread has proven to absorb water. Since the human body is 90% water,
it follows that eating
bread could lead your body being taken over by this absorptive food
product, turning you into a
soggy, gooey, bread pudding person.
11.Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between
significant scientific fact
and meaningless statistical babble.
(Not written by polytarp, and not formatted correctly.)
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| 29 responses total. |
ric
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response 1 of 29:
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Jun 13 02:34 UTC 2002 |
> 2.Fully HALF of all children who grew up in bread
> consuming households score below average on
> standardized tests.
Let me point out some flaws in this reasoning..
#1 - HALF of all children would score below the median score, not the
average.
#2 - It assumes basically that either:
a. All children are raised in bread-consuming households
or
b. Only children raised in bread-consuming households take
standardized tests.
Come back when your reasoning is more secure.
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rcurl
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response 2 of 29:
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Jun 13 02:36 UTC 2002 |
Not a bad example of confusing cause and correlation.
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jp2
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response 3 of 29:
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Jun 13 02:43 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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ric
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response 4 of 29:
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Jun 13 02:50 UTC 2002 |
I disagree. Standardized tests are not graded on a normal scale. Scores
fluctuate from year to year, and even with the large sample, it would not
result in a normal distribution.
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jp2
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response 5 of 29:
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Jun 13 02:55 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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polytarp
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response 6 of 29:
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Jun 13 02:59 UTC 2002 |
I disagree. My disagreements are so good, I don't need to back them up.
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brighn
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response 7 of 29:
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Jun 13 03:32 UTC 2002 |
I still like the thing about dihydrogen oxide better (dihydrogen oxide is
present in every cancer cell, and is absolutely necessary for a nuclear plant,
but is pumped into every home in the nation).
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aruba
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response 8 of 29:
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Jun 13 14:57 UTC 2002 |
(And it's a major component in acid rain.)
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void
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response 9 of 29:
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Jun 13 16:48 UTC 2002 |
Ban dihydrogen monoxide! Didn't some kid win a science fair with
that one?
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jp2
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response 10 of 29:
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Jun 13 16:51 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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jor
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response 11 of 29:
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Jun 13 18:13 UTC 2002 |
Plus if you inhale it it will kill you
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drew
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response 12 of 29:
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Jun 13 21:23 UTC 2002 |
And fish fuck in it.
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orinoco
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response 13 of 29:
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Jun 14 02:59 UTC 2002 |
You won't do too well if you inhale bread either.
And yeast fucks in it.
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ric
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response 14 of 29:
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Jun 15 13:47 UTC 2002 |
Fish don't actually fuck, do they?
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mdw
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response 15 of 29:
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Jun 16 01:20 UTC 2002 |
Depends on the fish.
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orinoco
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response 16 of 29:
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Jun 17 02:01 UTC 2002 |
Well, there's no penetration no matter what kind of fish it is. I guess it
depends on your definition of fucking. But regardless, dolphins and sea
turtles fuck in it too, and they're less ambiguous about it.
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ric
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response 17 of 29:
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Jun 17 12:11 UTC 2002 |
I saw some turtles fucking at Busch Gardens.
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vmskid
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response 18 of 29:
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Jun 17 13:01 UTC 2002 |
I once had a dream where I was attacked by a loaf of Pumpernickle.
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orinoco
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response 19 of 29:
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Jun 17 14:51 UTC 2002 |
At Busch Gardens?
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vmskid
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response 20 of 29:
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Jun 17 15:00 UTC 2002 |
No, actually it was in Plaquemine.
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gelinas
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response 21 of 29:
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Jun 18 05:27 UTC 2002 |
I was under the impression that swordtails engage in coitus; they are
viviparous.
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gull
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response 22 of 29:
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Jun 18 13:54 UTC 2002 |
Re #18: Must have been a pretty good loaf of pumpernickle.
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janc
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response 23 of 29:
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Jun 19 13:01 UTC 2002 |
Test takers in a reasonably wide sample do not fall on a bell curve.
It is almost always skewed, with many more distant outliers on the low
end than on the high end. This means the average will typically be
below the mean. So typically expect that less than half of the
population will do below average in any particular population.
Of course, that assumes the test score is a linear scale, which it
usually isn't. The proportion of hard and easy questions effects the
way the curve skews.
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cmcgee
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response 24 of 29:
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Jun 20 02:44 UTC 2002 |
Umm, in casual English, the "average" _is_ the mean. It is the median that
causes trouble. Your sentence ought to read" This means the average
(mean) will typically be below the median".
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