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| Author |
Message |
god
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PHEER ME .
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Jun 5 23:23 UTC 2002 |
Jingonist 36:21 - And God Said, "PH33R ME!"
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| 52 responses total. |
oval
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response 1 of 52:
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Jun 6 01:15 UTC 2002 |
jesus was a script kiddie.
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other
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response 2 of 52:
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Jun 6 06:12 UTC 2002 |
Well. I am duly impressed, god. You've figured out how to enter an item
on the bbs. Next thing you'll be creating whole universes and such. Be
sure to let us know before you begin experimenting on that level so we
can have the hazmat team standing ready. I hear the first few attempts
can be pretty rough.
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god
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response 3 of 52:
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Jun 6 11:25 UTC 2002 |
Synchophants 32:2 - And _*He*_ said, "Yo, yo, Abraham, I'm the notorious Gee
Oh Dee.
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rcurl
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response 4 of 52:
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Jun 6 18:54 UTC 2002 |
So, I shouldn't be expecting this to be the evidence I keep asking for?
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brighn
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response 5 of 52:
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Jun 6 19:41 UTC 2002 |
Oh, Rane, you know if God came up to you in a coffeehouse and said, "Hi, Rane,
I am the Lord thy God, the one true creator of all things," you'd put him to
such a series of questions to prove it that he'd give up and go back to his
summer house in Hoboken. ;}
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edina
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response 6 of 52:
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Jun 6 19:43 UTC 2002 |
Nah. He'd just turn him into a cockroach.
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jp2
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response 7 of 52:
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Jun 6 19:58 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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edina
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response 8 of 52:
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Jun 6 20:01 UTC 2002 |
Jamie, don't be ashamed of you home there.
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edina
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response 9 of 52:
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Jun 6 20:02 UTC 2002 |
Besides, it's better than Hamilton, OH.
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oval
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response 10 of 52:
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Jun 6 20:19 UTC 2002 |
re#6: God.
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aruba
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response 11 of 52:
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Jun 7 01:26 UTC 2002 |
The "god" account has been created 18 times on Grex, and reaped 17 times.
It seams that God keeps coming back, but He never sticks around long.
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jmsaul
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response 12 of 52:
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Jun 7 04:25 UTC 2002 |
He keeps reading Rane's posts and realizing he doesn't exist.
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bdh3
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response 13 of 52:
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Jun 7 04:41 UTC 2002 |
No. She reads lk's, mutters 'oui ve is mere' and wanders off.
But being kinda old and a tad forgetful wanders back from
time to time.
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brighn
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response 14 of 52:
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Jun 7 16:17 UTC 2002 |
#11> Proof that God is not a cat. Cats only have 9 lives.
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orinoco
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response 15 of 52:
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Jun 9 18:31 UTC 2002 |
Apparently the whole ressurection bit is working better than anyone expected.
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vidar
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response 16 of 52:
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Jun 10 12:35 UTC 2002 |
Deities are so insecure.
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oval
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response 17 of 52:
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Jun 10 14:51 UTC 2002 |
ya they're like spoiled little brats.
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bhelliom
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response 18 of 52:
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Jun 10 15:20 UTC 2002 |
So it isn't the Second Coming after all. More like the Eighteenth
Coming.
You'd think, for someone that is supposed to be all-powerful, He'd know
how to preserve an e-mail account.
That is, unless it was supposed to be monitored by some middle
management screw up, like say, His Son, who is rumored to have accepted
a position as God's right hand man. Benefits package includes health
plan, an American Express corporate card, and distribution rights to
His loaves, fishes, and wine, and his album and clothing line, due in
stores in time for the Christmas rush. Oh, yeah, did I mention He gets
His own HOLIDAYS? Man, talk about Nepotism.
Of course, God's too wrapped up in the little details--which trumpet
should be here, the lake of fire should be over there, away from water!-
-to remember to advertise.
He should at least post fliers, or send memos to churches to have them
spread the word at the announcement portion of church service, or post
it upon the "Community News" section of the bulletin board.
Churches near the Freeway should be encouraged to post signs, and maybe
an Parish here and there can pool funds for a few strategically located
billboards. Maybe a few churches would be willing to send their gospel
choirs on tour? Advertising is always more effective with a catchy
jingle to go along with it. And thou shalt produce radio commercials.
Maybe there's a fast food chain that hasn't been gobbled up by some
company keen to use kids meals as prime Ad material. Perhaps White
Castle or Taco Bell would be willing to put Final Judgment Action
Figures in their kids' meals.
And need I mention the Goodyear blimp at sporting events? Speaking of
sports, here is always time to recruit people to repent and prepare for
the final battle against evil at the tailgate parties. Some people
will do anything for free beer.
What about that John 3:16 guy you always see at the American football
games? He doesn't seem very effective. Half the time you don't even
remember he's there. Shouldn't someone talk to God about His sales
representatives?
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jazz
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response 19 of 52:
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Jun 10 17:00 UTC 2002 |
I think the Christian diety relies upon word of mouth and product
placement, primaily - how many times have you heard "Oh Jesus!" or "Christ!"
yelled out at a sporting event. His team's pretty crack - they even come up
with those cheezy billboard ads to distract people from the real advertising.
In the meantime, his group has become a household word.
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brighn
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response 20 of 52:
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Jun 10 17:14 UTC 2002 |
I'm still waiting for the product placement ads for when I shout "Jesus
Christ!". Who should I sue to get them?
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bhelliom
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response 21 of 52:
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Jun 10 17:48 UTC 2002 |
I'm not sure that you have to sue anybody. "Jesus Christ" isn't
copyrighted.
Oh, now isn't that the political blunder of all time? I'm surprised
that no sect has tried to corner the market on names. Could you
imagine the Catholic church being sued by Southern Baptists for their
illegal use of Jesus Christ (TM) in their publications?
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brighn
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response 22 of 52:
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Jun 10 17:52 UTC 2002 |
No, I mean, if I'm doing advertising for God, shouldn't I be getting paid?
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jp2
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response 23 of 52:
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Jun 10 17:53 UTC 2002 |
This response has been erased.
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brighn
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response 24 of 52:
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Jun 10 17:56 UTC 2002 |
The slaughtering of the heretics had nothing to do with it?
Roman Religion, in its time, was the largest religion in the world. It didn't
promise salvation to all equally. The Aztec state religion was the largest
religion in its known world. Ditto Hinduism.
And Christianity was spreading like wildfire before it decided to start
offering salvation to everyone equally.
It sounds like someone's been eating all their religious history from the
Christian Propoganda trough.
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