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| Author |
Message |
beeswing
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Letters of the acid-penned
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Nov 23 05:42 UTC 2000 |
If there is an item about this already, I probably put it on forget.
Sorry.
But who can resist the urge to tell people about themselves? Ahahahhaa!!
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| 45 responses total. |
beeswing
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response 1 of 45:
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Nov 23 06:02 UTC 2000 |
Dear Stupid Parents at Chili's:
Hi. You know, I was unaware that 'Cheer Off 2000' was going on Sunday
night. Gee, what a shame that I missed that one. It is nice that a herd
of you cheerleader moms/dads and what seemed like 12 million of your
polyester-flared-skirted offpsring decided to eat out afterwards.
However, it is not nice that you felt it was perfectly fine to let your
daughters bounce about the entire restaurant: running, screaming,
carrying each other, running over people, and being general pain in the
ass brats. Your little hellspawns looked about the ages of 10 to 13.
Certainly they are old enough to know how they should behave in public.
Then again, maybe not, since you all were too wrapped up in your
conversations to notice that your daughters were making dinner
miserable for most innocent Chili's patrons. Or that they were in the
way of servers, who had to dodge your kids while carrying heavy trays
of hot food, drinks, and steaming coffee pots. When a small gang of
your sprogs decided to stand by my table (where I was trying to eat
with my parents) and shriek like chimpanzees, you are lucky I did not
resort to violence, but just waved my hand and said "Shoo! Shoo!".
Interestingly, only one looked baffled that she was being told to go
away. In their ADD-addled state, it took about two full minutes for
them to realize that they needed to leave us alone.
But again, none of this fazed you one bit. Your kids could have blown
up your minivans and you probably wouldn't notice. I can't blame your
daughters for acting as they did, I suppose, since you managed to
ignore them for a solid two hours and hoped others would police them
for you. I guess carting them to cheerleading practice is enough to
mold them into solid, mature young people? God help us all...
Love,
Bees
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gull
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response 2 of 45:
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Nov 23 07:28 UTC 2000 |
'sprogs'?
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happyboy
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response 3 of 45:
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Nov 23 13:50 UTC 2000 |
dear: mother-of-one-of-the-crack-babies-in-my-class,
congratulations on having your latest drug/alcohol impacted
baby! what does this make, four now?
you should be sterilized. :)
have a nice day!
mr. b
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jerryr
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response 4 of 45:
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Nov 23 21:59 UTC 2000 |
re: #1 that sounds like my last dining experience at joe's crab shack. only
in that case it was the staff acting as if it was the final day of exams in
the dorm.
spec ed teachers should get three times the salary of other teachers if just
to pay for broken heart repairs.
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beeswing
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response 5 of 45:
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Nov 24 01:44 UTC 2000 |
yes. Sprogs. :)
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qui1
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response 6 of 45:
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Nov 24 18:07 UTC 2000 |
Dear Stupid Bank Tellers:
I hate you, y'know. When you sit behind the glorified counter o' my
money and dictate how slow my money will be handled, I curse you. And
when you chat with the other tellers while I am patiently waiting in
line, I damn you to hell for interrupting my schedule.
Love,
J
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bdh3
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response 7 of 45:
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Nov 27 02:17 UTC 2000 |
"What are ATMs?" oh, uh, sorry, this isn't the jeopardy item?
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flem
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response 8 of 45:
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Nov 29 01:46 UTC 2000 |
And so it begins.
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jazz
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response 9 of 45:
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Nov 29 21:26 UTC 2000 |
My most esteemed colleagues in holiday shopping,
I do so worry for your safety; I've noticed that some of you have
displayed your frustration at the numbers of people and difficulty in
obtaining a choice parking spot, by driving very agressively. Especially one
of your flock, who thought it would be a good idea to accelerate around me
while I was patiently waiting for a woman to finish crossing an open parking
space in front of me, and to take the space themselves. Not only is this
hazardous to the health of the poor startled woman, it's hazardous to the
health of the driver, seeing that Hyundias perform very poorly when hit by
full-size trucks. Please, in the future, be careful. Saving three or four
minutes really isn't worth it.
Yours in the spirit of running over your little econobox out of spite,
Sincerely,
_john_
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gelinas
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response 10 of 45:
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Nov 30 17:22 UTC 2000 |
"I'm older and have more insurance."
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ashke
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response 11 of 45:
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Dec 4 14:46 UTC 2000 |
Dear Medical Secretary and Doctor
I'm sorry you felt the need to trash me in an email and a discussion with the
section chief because you put your OR case in a room that we had been given
time for. I have the emails, but that's fine, you don't care. I have the
Medical Secretary for the doctor who gave us the time and said you didn't have
it and don't know why you put it there. But that's okay. Send me the email
that I just "booked ina room already booked" and also "we had it first".
How mature. I emailed all parties and had notes on the timeline. I sent this
all along. But you won't care, like you didn't care on Thursday when I
pointed out the error and wanted to work out what we would do. Or on Friday,
when you moved our 2 surgery cases and then emailed after the time you could
change the schedules. But that's fine with me, because I save every email
that I have gotten since I started working there. I have a trail of messages
you won't believe. So we'll see who gets whom. Just because I was a computer
programmer before doesn't mean that I am not qualified to my job. And I
DEEPLY resent the implication. So go kick sand at the umpire, and go throw
your finger at people. Because I don't care. And I have proof. What do you
have?
Go do anitomically impossible things with yourselves.
Mary
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birdy
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response 12 of 45:
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Dec 4 18:04 UTC 2000 |
Dear People Who Look Down on My Job:
I make more money than the average person, I get full benefits, I get respect
from my co-workers, I am advancing, I set my schedule (for the most part),
and I'm good at what I do. The next time you treat me with disrespect simply
because I wear a uniform, I will remind you that when I have my doctorate
your illiterate, stuck-up, whiny brat kid will be serving me fries and a Coke
for $5.50 an hour.
Love,
Sarah
(Manager off-duty for a change)
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mary
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response 13 of 45:
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Dec 4 18:04 UTC 2000 |
The author of the previous message should not be confused with
the Mary Remmers who also works with operating rooms schedules
at the University Hospital. Different Mary and I think, different
hospital.
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slynne
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response 14 of 45:
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Dec 4 18:37 UTC 2000 |
Dear fellow employees of large retail chain where I work in tech
support,
YES, I **DO** KNOW IT IS CHRISTMAS TIME!
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birdy
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response 15 of 45:
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Dec 4 19:11 UTC 2000 |
Heh...
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jiffer
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response 16 of 45:
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Dec 4 20:53 UTC 2000 |
Dear Customers,.
Yes, we are aware that some of you might not have gotten the week of the NYT,
but that does not mean you have to read the entire memo to me! Just answer
my questions and it will all go quickly and smoothly.
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ashke
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response 17 of 45:
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Dec 4 21:53 UTC 2000 |
yes, that was me, a different Mary than Mary Remmers, but I think the same
hospital. just different...department maybe?
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russ
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response 18 of 45:
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Dec 7 01:31 UTC 2000 |
Dear Democrats and Republicans,
You are both looking to the wrong place for victory. If God
had wanted either of you to win the election, He would have
sent you a candidate.
XOXOXO
Me
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flem
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response 19 of 45:
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Dec 7 07:06 UTC 2000 |
heehee.... :)
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ashke
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response 20 of 45:
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Dec 7 17:54 UTC 2000 |
Dear Parking Planning Gurus-
Thank you for realizing that if you charge for parking at a place of
employment, and then don't provide enough spaces for those who pay for
parking, you have a glorious surplus of funds. However, just because I have
to sit in my car stalking people for thier spaces for almost an hour 3x a
week, unless I arrive and hour and a half early for work, you make some good
money. Woo Hoo. If I go postal, I think I'd be justified. And I'm taking
out your car first. <thppppppppt>
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albaugh
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response 21 of 45:
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Dec 8 18:56 UTC 2000 |
Dear Moron Turtle in the Fast Lane:
Just because there's a little snow on the roads doesn't mean you get to park
your butt in the fast lane. Get the hell over into the center or right lanes
where you belong.
Your friend
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beeswing
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response 22 of 45:
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Dec 9 00:00 UTC 2000 |
Dear smoker colleagues:
I am not faulting you for your habit. If you want to smoke, help
yerself. But do not blow smoke right on me and do not hold your cig to
where the smoke literally billows in my face. It will not inconvenience
you to hold it to the right or left away from people. I did not keep
shifting my position in my seat because I had hemmorhoids... it was so
I could get a whiff of non-smoky air. As much as I try to get by with
holding my breath in such situations, I fail every time. I'm so weak.
So until I master the art of not breathing for, say, an hour, please
hold your cigs away from my face.
-cough, ack
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scott
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response 23 of 45:
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Dec 9 02:07 UTC 2000 |
Dear Beez:
Get one of the little battery powered fans and use it to blow the smoke back
at your insensitive colleagues. Be as obvious as you can about this.
If that doesn't work, get a spray bottle and use it instead of the fan.
Love, Scott
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mdw
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response 24 of 45:
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Dec 9 03:24 UTC 2000 |
Or wear a gas mask.
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