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albaugh
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The fall urban legend item
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Oct 27 22:24 UTC 2000 |
Enter your favorite urban legend here, or even an urban legend about an urban
legend. Or even something that turns out to be true, but sounds like an UL.
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| 31 responses total. |
albaugh
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response 1 of 31:
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Oct 27 22:31 UTC 2000 |
The long awaited 1999 Darwin "Natural Selection" Awards - Criminal Category
- have been released! These awards are given each year to bestow upon that
individual, who through isolation by incarceration, has done the most to
remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
RUNNER-UP # 8
=============
Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash
in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but
the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21".
The robber said he was, but the cashier still refused to give it to him
because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers
license out of his wallet and gave it to the cashier. The cashier looked it
over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in
the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly
called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got
----------------------------------------------------------
RUNNER-UP # 7
=============
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car
phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the
guy that answered that he had read an ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy
the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
-------------------------------------------------
RUNNER-UP # 6
=============
San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into
the branch and wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag".
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and
crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line,
he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from
his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told
him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a
Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller
then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was
waiting in line back at Bank of America.
-------------------------------------------------
RUNNER-UP # 5
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From England: A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for 40 Pounds and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of 40 Pounds.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another picture-of handcuffs. The motorist promptly sent the money for the
fine.
----------------------------------------------
RUNNER-UP # 4
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Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac,
Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said
the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's
jacket could have been a gun.
"Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to
be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge
could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and
laughed so hard he required a five minute recess to compose himself.
------------------------------------------------
RUNNER-UP # 3
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Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a
convenience store in district court when he fired his lawyer.
Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair
job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was
the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said,
"I should have blown your (expletive) head off". The defendant paused,
then quickly added, "If I'd been the one that was there".
The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence.
-------------------------------------------------
RUNNER-UP # 2
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Detroit: R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were
showing their squad car computer felon-location equipment to children in a
Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked
him for identification. Gaitlan gave them his drivers license, they entered
it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan because
information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a two-year-old armed
robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.
-------------------------------------------------
RUNNER-UP # 1
=============
Another from Detroit: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
"Nobody move or I'll shoot!"
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
-----------------------------------------------
THE WINNER
==========
A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive
cigars, insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having
smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first
premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance
company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of
small fires."
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious
reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The man sued... and won. In delivering the ruling the judge agreed that the
claim was frivolous, but stated that nevertheless the man held a policy from
the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also
guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it
considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he
lost in "the fires." After the man cashed the check, however, the company
had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and
testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was
convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24
months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
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albaugh
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response 2 of 31:
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Oct 27 22:41 UTC 2000 |
Mid-Year Darwin Award Winners Announced!
Darwin Awards celebrate Charles Darwin's theory of evolution
by commemorating the remains of those who contribute to the improvement
of our gene pool by removing themselves from it in really stupid ways.
The mid-year Darwin Award winners and runners-up have been selected!
A criminal with a homemade parachute learns a hard lesson. A father taunts
the wrong person. A man demonstrates why one should not play Russian roulette
with an automatic weapon. And the filming of a safety video goes awry.
HOMEGROWN PARACHUTE
2000 Darwin Award Winner
25 May 2000, Philippines
We all enjoy learning from the past. Reflect back to November 24, 1971, aboard
a Northwest Orient Airlines flight in Portland. A man who had purchased his
ticket under the name of "Dan Cooper" demanded two hundred thousand dollars
in cash and four parachutes. The plane made a landing in Seattle to
accommodate his requests and disgorge the passengers. Once the plane was back
in the air, Cooper asked how to lower the tail stairs, and then ordered the
flight attendant out of the cabin. When the plane landed in Reno, the tail
stairs were open and Cooper and the money were gone.
For all his cool demeanor, Cooper had the crosshairs of evolution on him when
he decided to jump. There was a freezing rainstorm outside, and the wind chill
from the plane's velocity dropped the effective temperature to -60 degrees
Fahrenheit. To seal his fate, he jumped with no food or survival gear into a
heavily wooded forest in winter at night.
The peanuts provided on the plane were just not enough to sustain his life.
It is assumed that the man the FBI called D. B. Cooper died in the mountains
or hit the Columbia River and drowned. History, then, teaches us that one
cannot jump out of an airplane and survive. You would think that a hijacker
would know better, but...
We turn to Davao City in the Philippines this year. Augusto was a man with a
mission. He boarded a Philippine Air flight to Manila, and donned a ski mask
and swim goggles. Then he pulled out a gun and a grenade and announced that
he was hijacking the plane. Apparently security is a bit lax at the Davao City
airport.
He demanded that the plane return to Davao City, but the pilots convinced him
that the aircraft was low on fuel, and they continued on toward Manila.
Augusto, undaunted, robbed the passengers of about $25,000 and ordered the
pilots to lower the plane to 6,500 feet.
When a lunatic with a gun orders you to descend, you descend. Meanwhile,
Augusto strapped a homemade parachute onto his back, and forced the flight
attendants to open the door and depressurize the plane.
He probably intended to jump, but the wind was so strong that he had trouble
getting out of the plane. Finally one of the flight attendants helpfully
pushed him out the door, just as he pulled the pin from the grenade. He threw
the pin (oops!) into the cabin, and fell toward the earth carrying the
business end of the grenade in his hand.
The impact of Augusto hitting the earth at terminal velocity had little effect
on the earth's orbit. All that remained aboveground were Augusto's two hands.
So history repeats itself with a new twist.
Lesson 1: Don't throw yourself out of a perfectly good airplane.
Lesson 2: If you feel compelled to violate Lesson 1,
least don't roll your own... Parachute, that is.
Copyright 2000 DarwinAwards.com
FATHER KNOWS BEST -- 2000 Darwin Award Winner
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2000-12.html?0009
GUN SAFETY TRAINING -- 2000 Darwin Award Runner-Up
28 February 2000, Texas
A Houston man earned a succinct lesson in gun safety when he played Russian
roulette with a .45-caliber semiautomatic pistol. Rashaad, nineteen,
was visiting friends when he announced his intention to play the deadly game.
He apparently did not realize that a semiautomatic pistol, unlike a revolver,
automatically inserts a cartridge into the firing chamber when the gun is
cocked. His chance of winning a round of Russian roulette was zero, as he
quickly discovered.
Copyright 2000 DarwinAwards.com
FORKLIFT SAFETY VIDEO -- 2000 Darwin Award Runner-Up
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2000-06.html?0009
Also read six new stories on our website:
FATAL CASE OF HICCUPS
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2000-39.html?0009
FIREWORKS FIASCO
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2000-37.html?0009
SETTLE THE SCORE
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2000-38.html?0009
SHELL SHOT
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin1999-59.html?0009
WHY I'M THE LAST OF NINE CHILDREN
http://DarwinAwards.com/personal/personal2000-32.html?0009
A CLEAN TOILET
http://DarwinAwards.com/personal/personal2000-31.html?0009
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albaugh
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response 3 of 31:
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Oct 27 22:45 UTC 2000 |
Can you figure out this riddle?
What is greater than God,
More evil than the Devil,
The poor have it,
The rich need it,
And if you eat it, you will die?
(80% of Kindergarten Students solved this right away while only 17% of
Oxford Students were able to solve it).
See below for the answer...
The answer is "NOTHING":
NOTHING is greater than God.
NOTHING is more evil than the devil.
The poor have NOTHING.
The rich need NOTHING.
And if you eat NOTHING, you will die.
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n8nxf
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response 4 of 31:
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Oct 28 00:18 UTC 2000 |
Your point being that our education system sucks? ;-)
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brighn
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response 5 of 31:
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Oct 28 00:31 UTC 2000 |
either that, or 93% of Oxford students and only 20% of kindergartners are
atheists.
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janc
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response 6 of 31:
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Oct 29 02:07 UTC 2000 |
I'm displeased with the criminal darwin awards in response one. None of the
stupid people were killed, and so failed to remove themselves from the gene
pool. One criminal merely paid a parking ticket. Others probably served
short jail terms. Some of the criminals weren't even particularly stupid.
It's more a case of the police being somewhat smart.
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brighn
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response 7 of 31:
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Oct 29 17:36 UTC 2000 |
The point of the Criminal awards is that they're incarcerated, removing
themselve sfrom the gene pool that way. That said, I agree that onlypeople
with significant terms (20+ years) should be considered.
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pfv
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response 8 of 31:
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Oct 29 18:07 UTC 2000 |
I'll agree the winners are topical - I share them at work.
Yet, few killed anyone - including themselves - and they were
even POLITE.. We need a Darwin parallel, but.. Yeah, these yahoo's
were as good as the "Deer bit my butt" 911 call.
My only hope is that the inate politeness gets them a shorter
term.. Lord knows, they coulda' killed the person they spoke to.
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brighn
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response 9 of 31:
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Oct 30 18:04 UTC 2000 |
inane politeness, more like
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gull
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response 10 of 31:
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Nov 5 18:20 UTC 2000 |
(Forwarded to me by a relative.)
Subject: FW: IMPORTANT SCAM ALERT!!
DON'T EVER DIAL AREA CODE 809
This one is being distributed all over the US. This is pretty scary -
especially given the way they try to get you to call. Be sure you read
this & pass it on to all your friends and family so they don't get
scammed!
MAJOR SCAM:
Don't respond to Emails, phone calls, or web pages which tell you to
call an "809" Phone Number. This is a very important issue of Scam
Busters! because it alerts you to a scam that is spreading extremely
quickly - can easily cost you $24100 or more, and is difficult to avoid
unless you are aware of it. We'd like to thank Verizon for bringing
this scam to our attention. This scam has also been identified by the
National Fraud Information Center and is costing victims a lot of
money.
There are lots of different permutations of this scam, but HERE'S HOW
IT WORKS: You will receive a message on your answering machine or your
pager, which asks you to call a number beginning with area code 809.
The reason you're asked to call varies. It can be to receive
information about a family member who has been ill, to tell you someone
has been arrested, died, to let you know you have won a wonderful
prize, etc. In each case, you are told to call the 809 number right
away. Since there are so many new area codes these days, people
unknowingly return these calls. If you call from the US, you will
apparently be charged $2425 per-minute. Or, you'll get a long recorded
message. The point is, they will try to keep you on the phone as long
as possible to increase the charges. Unfortunately, when you get your
phone bill, you'll often be charged more than $24100.00.
WHY IT WORKS: The 809 area code is located in the British Virgin
Islands (The Bahamas). The 809 area code can be used as a
"pay-per-call" number, similar to 900 numbers in the US. Since 809 is
not in the US, it is not covered by U.S. regulations of 900 numbers,
which require that you be notified and warned of charges and rates
involved when you call a "pay-per-call" number. There is also no
requirement that the company provide a time period during which you may
terminate the call without being charged. Further, whereas many U.S.
phones have 900 number blocking to avoid these kinds of charges, 900
number blocking will not prevent calls to the 809 area code. We
recommend that no matter how you get the message, if you are asked to
call a number with an 809 area code that you don't recognize and/or
investigate further and just disregard the message. Be wary of email or
calls asking you to call an 809 area code number. It's important to
prevent becoming a victim of this scam, since trying to fight the
charges afterwards can become A real nightmare. That's because you did
actually make the call. If you complain, both your local phone company
and your long distance carrier will not want to get involved and will
most likely tell you that they are simply providing the billing for the
foreign company. You'll end up dealing with a foreign company that
argues they have done nothing wrong. Please forward this entire message
to your friends, family and colleagues to help them become aware of
this scam.
(According to my Rand McNalley, 809 covers the Bahamas, Puerto Rico, the
Virgin Islands, and some other carribean islands as a legit area code. It's
a 4-year-old atlas, tho.)
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scott
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response 11 of 31:
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Nov 5 18:56 UTC 2000 |
There's actually some truth in that.
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gull
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response 12 of 31:
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Nov 6 21:47 UTC 2000 |
According to a more up to date area code list, 809 is now the Dominican
Republic. The Bahamas got the new code 242.
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brighn
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response 13 of 31:
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Nov 6 23:33 UTC 2000 |
According to www.snopes.com, a very reliable Urban Legends site, #10 is indeed
true, and not an urban legend. Furthermore, it warns:
Things are about to get worse, because that infamous off-shore area code (809)
is in the process of breaking up into smaller chunks, and you'll soon have
to think twice about calling any of the following area codes:
242, 246, 264, 268, 284, 345, 441, 473, 664, 758, 767, 784, 787, 868, 869,
876 as well as 809.
------
(This is a bizarre urban legends item, given that so far we've gotten the
Darwin awards -- generally true -- and the 809 scam -- also true. Urban
legends are generally supposed to be, well, false.)
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scg
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response 14 of 31:
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Nov 7 00:02 UTC 2000 |
(Current area code information, as well as lots of stuff on area code
planning, recent history, and so forth, can be gotten from www.nanpa.com)
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mdw
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response 15 of 31:
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Nov 7 02:24 UTC 2000 |
a According to nanpa, 866 is toll-free, as compared to 868 & 869.
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other
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response 16 of 31:
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Nov 8 22:11 UTC 2000 |
a web site i was just told about, good for finding area code information, is:
http://www.555-1212.com
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danr
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response 17 of 31:
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Nov 9 00:14 UTC 2000 |
That's the one I use.
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scg
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response 18 of 31:
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Nov 9 01:17 UTC 2000 |
NANPA's not huge on maps and such, as they leave those details to local phone
companies and state regulatory commissions to work out. They are the
organization that does the area code assignments to states, though, so they're
likely to be more current than anybody else.
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krj
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response 19 of 31:
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Nov 11 05:54 UTC 2000 |
Polygon suggested some time back that jurisdictions which allow
scams like #10 need to be cut out of the North American
Numbering Plan, if I recall his suggestion correctly.
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polygon
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response 20 of 31:
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Nov 11 10:14 UTC 2000 |
Re 19. Yup.
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brighn
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response 21 of 31:
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Nov 12 03:46 UTC 2000 |
Personally, I think we're running short enough on 3-digit area codes that
anyone outside of the US should have a country code (including, unfortuantely,
Canada).
(A country code other than 1, for the picky people who were going to point
that out.)
(I would just like to say how proud I am to live in a country that would grab
the ountry code 1 for itself then let the other continents work their own
codes out... heh...)
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gull
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response 22 of 31:
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Nov 12 21:16 UTC 2000 |
Sort of like how we made everyone except us use country codes, on the
Internet? ;)
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brighn
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response 23 of 31:
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Nov 12 21:17 UTC 2000 |
Yeah. =}
We're so arrogant. With the Internet, we didn't even let Canada in on our
game... they got saddled with .ca.
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scg
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response 24 of 31:
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Nov 12 21:44 UTC 2000 |
The North American Numbering Plan, which includes the US, does have a country
code. It is 1. If you're calling into the North American Numbering Plan from
somewhere outside, like the UK, you need to dial it as an International call,
including the country code. Likewise, if calling the UK from the US, you need
to dial 011-44 in front of the phone number, but you can leave that out if
you're calling the UK from the UK.
The Internet domain structure is different. The US does have a country code,
.us, although it's rather difficult to register domains in it so it doesn't
get used much. If somebody does have a .us domain (grex.ann-arbor.mi.us, for
example), you can't drop the .us from within the US. Likewise, ic.ac.uk (my
favorite domain) generally can't be abreviated as ic.ac from within the .uk
domain.
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