Grex Recovery Conference

Item 4: the AA/DIY split

   there was an interesting question posed in item 1, and i think it merits
its own discussion. hokshila asked me why i'm not in aa/na, and i've noticed
that there seems to be a real split among people who are recovering via
12-step programs and those of us who are do-it-yourselfers.

   way back when, when i first started my recovery, i went to a few 12-step
program meetings and found that i really didn't get a whole lot out of them.
it seemed to me that a lot of people there had substituted an addiction to
meetings for the addiction to their substance of choice. i'm not knocking
twelve-step programs...if that's what keeps people sane and clean and sober
and gets them through the night, then more power to them. the meetings just
weren't for me. i was ready to stop hanging around with substance abusers and
focus on ways to keep my mind off getting blasted/stoned/whatever, and i found
that when i left meetings all i wanted to do was go off and find a nice quiet
place to relapse. rather than keep me from focusing on other ways to deal with
my life, i found that meetings got me back to focusing on what
drinking/tripping/whatever felt like, and how much i missed that feeling. so,
it seemed to me that i'd be better off not going to meetings and finding my
own ways of coping.

What about support from other recovering addicts?  I've found that if I
associate with people who continue to re-live their active addictive 
lifestyle, then when I get home I experience the pangs of wanting to 
use.

Meetings are what you make of them.  So is your life.

-mb

   good question. i've found other recovering addicts and a host of
sympathetic but non-addicted friends who give me all the support they can when
i need it. on occasion, they've even let me tag along with them for days when
i felt i might relapse and needed someone to help keep me on an even keel.

And for me, I came to a time when I no longer experienced the euphoric recall
of using. When I go to meetings and here about other people using, I hear it
for what it is: a world of pain and lonliness. I no longer think of using,
but am grateful that I am clean and sober today.

resp:3 see also item:12

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