Grex Poetry3 Conference

Item 314: Blood on sand ~toking

Entered by bumble on Wed Jul 17 01:19:30 2002:

My name is blood on sand
Waiting for the high tide
Waiting for the end of all things
You are wind in memory
False with a touch of death
Decay waiting to end all things
"Once upon a time" she said
"Close your eyes and tell me what you see" she said
"When we dream" she said
And nothing's left of words
So I bleed my name into the sand
And wait for the high tide
1 responses total.

#1 of 1 by rlawson on Fri Jul 19 18:38:44 2002:

Hmm.  I do like it, but might I suggest removing the repeatition of "she
said."  I think that it ruins a very lovely flow.  MHO only!  Good work.


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