Grex Poetry3 Conference

Item 290: untitled, for Matthew, WIP ~Erinn~

Entered by arianna on Mon Jan 21 20:48:00 2002:

(Written for my friend Matthew; not sure if it's done yet.)


Humanity, in its defiance of gravity,
put that Air France Airbus ay-three-five-oh in the sky    
with a belly full of people with bellies full of peanuts,
while you stand by watching its descent,
eyes brimming over with sun-glinting steal.
Your mind winging, fledged with props and motors,
its surge and sound written on your face;
its voice the very language of awe.
2 responses total.
#1 of 2 by morwen on Wed Feb 6 05:01:07 2002:

Ooo!  Do I get first posties on this one?  Coolness.
It's been a real long time since I critiqued anyone's poetry, so you 
may not want to take my word for it, Ari.

Okay, I read it through twice.  I like it.  I'm particularly fond 
of "with a belly full of people with bellies full of peanuts,"  I think 
that is a great image.  If it's not done, Ari, it's well on the way.

#2 of 2 by rlawson on Sun Mar 31 01:05:15 2002:

This is quite good.  I enjoyed "mind winging, fledged with props and motors.

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