Grex Oldcoop Conference

Item 99: Campaign E-Mail From Valerie

Entered by dpc on Thu Jan 29 16:54:12 2004:

This morning I got a campaign e-mail from Valerie urging me to vote
against the pending member proposal to undelete the baby diary item.

I don't know how large the target audience for this e-mail was.
I vaguely remember a controversy last year over the sending of
mass e-mails.  I don't know if this one falls into the same
category.

This e-mail had two senders.  One was valerie@unixmama.com.
The other was jv@auddo.pair.com.

Was sending this e-mail a violation of any Grex policy or practice?
Regardless of any policy or practice, would it have been better
if Valerie had stuck to posting items for discussion instead?
184 responses total.

#1 of 184 by gelinas on Thu Jan 29 17:03:32 2004:

The message I received was sent to my grex account from outside of grex.
So no, this doesn't fall into the category of "mass mail sent from grex",
nor was it a violation of Grex policy.  I would prefer it not become a 
regular practice, though.

As for your second question, I can only suggest taking that up with her
directly.


#2 of 184 by jp2 on Thu Jan 29 17:13:16 2004:

This response has been erased.



#3 of 184 by other on Thu Jan 29 18:34:18 2004:

If the email wasn't sent *to* you, it wasn't intended *for* you.


#4 of 184 by jared on Thu Jan 29 18:49:55 2004:

re #0
i got one too, it was not from grex and not to grex.

i don't see any problems with it.

re #2
heh, from the same person who sent me a campaign e-mail
for BoD.  like #3 says, it's not for you.


#5 of 184 by polytarp on Thu Jan 29 18:57:02 2004:

I sent Valerie a campaign E-mail.

I'll post it here:

Oh, wait, I just remembered:

        I didn't save a copy.

You're more than welcome to ask Valerie for one.


#6 of 184 by jp2 on Thu Jan 29 19:32:21 2004:

This response has been erased.



#7 of 184 by albaugh on Thu Jan 29 19:54:21 2004:

The human known on grex as valerie or popcorn is certainly entitled to lobby
whomever she wishes via whatever means she can devise re: this vote.
I already expressed my recommendation for a *YES* vote in item #75.
I think that knowing about her lobbying reinforces my feelings on why the
proposal should be passed.


#8 of 184 by jp2 on Thu Jan 29 20:07:55 2004:

This response has been erased.



#9 of 184 by cmcgee on Thu Jan 29 20:17:06 2004:

Well, emotional arguments not based on fact, policy or precedent CAN be
persuasive.  If an argument makes sense to me, I don't have to vote against
it just because you tell me that my reasoning doesn't make sense to you.


#10 of 184 by gull on Thu Jan 29 20:27:11 2004:

Her message didn't contain any information that would be new to anyone
who reads co-op.  It was just a recounting of the personal content of
the item and her discovery that it was being parodied on mnet.


#11 of 184 by cyklone on Thu Jan 29 22:15:53 2004:

"personal favors for favored persons"


#12 of 184 by gelinas on Thu Jan 29 22:32:02 2004:

(I've yet to see much real logic from jp2.  Lots of emtion *claiming* to be
logic, but no logic.)


#13 of 184 by remmers on Thu Jan 29 23:06:18 2004:

I received a copy of the mail and assumed it was sent to all members.

As far as I know, there was no policy violation - "mass mail" is a problem
if it taxes systems resources, but I think this was done in such a way as
to void that.


#14 of 184 by jp2 on Fri Jan 30 00:59:19 2004:

This response has been erased.



#15 of 184 by naftee on Fri Jan 30 01:55:57 2004:

remmers locked your account?!


#16 of 184 by gelinas on Fri Jan 30 03:11:54 2004:

(That's the difference a choice in machinery can make.)


#17 of 184 by albaugh on Fri Jan 30 18:23:40 2004:

> assumed it was sent to all members

I am quite certain that is not the case.


#18 of 184 by dpc on Fri Jan 30 19:06:25 2004:

Well, the thing was plainly not addressed to me personally.
The list of who is a Grex member is public, isn't it?


#19 of 184 by tod on Fri Jan 30 19:07:02 2004:

This response has been erased.



#20 of 184 by tod on Fri Jan 30 19:09:10 2004:

This response has been erased.



#21 of 184 by keesan on Fri Jan 30 20:19:56 2004:

My voting was influenced by the fact that Valerie is a nice person who has
done a lot for grex, probably much of it beyond the call of duty.  I would
much rather just have lost the items and not Valerie with them.


#22 of 184 by happyboy on Fri Jan 30 21:32:39 2004:

*sigh*

my vote was influenced by valerie's online personality
as well.

*sigh*


#23 of 184 by tod on Fri Jan 30 21:59:38 2004:

This response has been erased.



#24 of 184 by cyklone on Fri Jan 30 22:23:07 2004:

Personal favors for favored persons!


#25 of 184 by albaugh on Fri Jan 30 23:22:35 2004:

I'm curious as to the "Subject" field of the e-mail sent to at least some of
grex's members (it seems).


#26 of 184 by gelinas on Fri Jan 30 23:25:29 2004:

The subject was "a request"


#27 of 184 by tod on Fri Jan 30 23:32:53 2004:

This response has been erased.



#28 of 184 by cyklone on Fri Jan 30 23:55:33 2004:

> Date: 29 Jan 2004 05:45:09 -0000
> From: valerie@unixmama.com
> To: xxxxxxxxxxxx@cyberspace.org
> Subject: a request

> Hello.  I'm writing with a request that is very important to me.
> I deleted my online baby diary from Grex.  There is a vote that has
> just started, to undelete it, against my wishes.  Please, even if
> you haven't used Grex in a long time, I urge you to log in and vote
> to leave the baby diary deleted.  The vote also includes John Perry's
> divorce diary, which I deleted at his request, and which he wishes
> to also stay deleted.  I encourage you to log in and vote to leave all
> these items deleted.  My baby diary items contain lots of personal
> information about me and my children that I no longer wish to be
> posted on the Internet.  Even if my items are restored without my
> postings, my baby diary items are still all about me and my children,
> and the other people's postings are full of my personal information
> that I no longer wish to have posted.
>
> Here are the details of what happened: Back in 1997, I started
> keeping an online baby diary on Grex, logging many personal details
> of pregnancy, the births of my children, and many details of raising
> them, and about my personal life.  I originally posted it because
> I thought people who hadn't experienced pregnancy and childbirth
> might be interested to read about these things.  I figured that
> since it was located in a back corner of Grex, the only people who
> would wade through my baby diary were people who were interested
> enough in parenting to wade through hundreds of postings about messy
> diapers and other topics of interest only to people who were truly
> interested in parenting issues, and also to people who were very
> patient friends of mine who wanted to keep up with my life.
>
> A few weeks ago, I discovered that a parody of my baby diary had
> been running on M-Net for the past 2 1/2 years, without my knowledge.
> (If you would like to see it, it's item 39 in the "Agora" conference
> on M-Net.)  Some of the postings there are funny, some are nasty.
> Finding the parody explained a lot about why the real baby diary
> had, in the past 2 1/2 years, acquired a number of people who didn't
> really seem to be interested in parenting, as you could tell by
> their postings.  They were visiting my baby diary to acquire
> material to parody on M-Net, or better yet to post my words verbatim
> and laugh about how outrageous or personal the information was.
> The rules of the parody game in M-Net's Agora conference say that
> anything posted anywhere on Grex is open to parodying.  There is
> no way to opt out of being parodied.  That is, if you post anything
> on Grex, the people in M-Net's Agora conference take it as an open
> invitation to parody you.  I wished to opt out.  So I deleted my
> baby diary.  I used my Grex staff access to do it, just as I would
> have done for any user of Grex who asked staff to delete an item that
> was full of his or her personal information that they no longer wanted
> to have online.
>
> When I deleted the baby diaries, someone started a discussion
> in the co-op conference, claiming that my deletion of the baby
> diaries was "root abuse".  User jp2 started a vote, this vote that
> I am writing to you about, to undelete the baby diaries.  His
> reasoning is that since there were other people's words in the baby
> diaries, he claims it was censorship for me to delete their words
> without their permission.  I find this claim bizarre.  The information
> in those baby diaries is all about me and my children.  If someone
> else had posted my credit card numbers, it would clearly be appropriate
> to delete that posting, because it contained my personal information.
> Most of the postings in the baby diaries are likewise all about my
> personal information.  I no longer wish to have this personal
> information online.
>
> So, if you would log in to Grex and vote "no" on proposal "A",
> I would very much appreciate it.
>
> To vote, log in to Grex, and, type    !vote    from a menu, or
>    vote    from a shell prompt.  Then follow the menus from there.
>
> -Valerie                                                         


#29 of 184 by naftee on Sat Jan 31 00:32:01 2004:

re 19 All campaigning is a form of disinformation.  This just happens to be
a bitch doing it.


#30 of 184 by cyklone on Sat Jan 31 03:52:56 2004:

She's basically saying "gee, I really meant to have a vanity conference
like the one twinkie has on mnet but I forgot to warn the posters ahead of
time that I was the dictator. Please approve my coup." Which is pretty
much what jep is doing as well.



#31 of 184 by twinkie on Sat Jan 31 03:55:08 2004:

I have a vanity conference here, too.



#32 of 184 by jep on Sat Jan 31 04:14:17 2004:

I'm just trying to move past a part of my life it's time to put behind 
me.  At various times in my life, I've wanted to do that.  I expect 
everyone past a certain age has felt that way, some time in their 
life.  I've wished, more than once, I could help someone else to get 
over something.  It's not always possible to do that.  This time it 
is, and I am asking the users of Grex to do that for me.


#33 of 184 by jaklumen on Sat Jan 31 07:52:15 2004:

I've gotten to a point where I've pretty much shrugged my shoulders and 
said, "whatever" when that's been the case with me.  People will think 
what they want to think-- I cannot change that.  I'll turn around and 
forget the crap in the past as best I can; if they can't, hmm, oh well.


#34 of 184 by happyboy on Sat Jan 31 09:04:38 2004:

re32: you shudda thought-a that before you posted.


        YOU CAN'T TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID.


#35 of 184 by gelinas on Sat Jan 31 13:21:46 2004:

But sometimes, the saying is part of the moving on.


#36 of 184 by jaklumen on Sat Jan 31 13:27:52 2004:

This response has been erased.



#37 of 184 by cyklone on Sat Jan 31 13:58:45 2004:

Re #33: Very well put. Others could benefit from a similar attitude.

Re #32: As long as you are focused on trying to control others, rather
than yourself, you are kidding yourself if you think you are putting
anything behind you. See #33 and #34. Maturity is accepting your mistakes
and moving on. Attempting a cover-up is not. How very Nixonian of you. 



#38 of 184 by keesan on Sat Jan 31 14:23:21 2004:

I think jep is saying he was suffering from temporary insanity when he posted
certain things, and would prefer not to worry about being convicted for them.


#39 of 184 by mary on Sat Jan 31 17:23:02 2004:

I really don't think Grex should be allowing one user to have another
user's text removed because of fears that what was said could aid in
his being convicted of a crime.  Is that what you're suggesting we
should do, Sindi?


#40 of 184 by jp2 on Sat Jan 31 17:55:17 2004:

This response has been erased.



#41 of 184 by naftee on Sat Jan 31 19:54:00 2004:

jep committed a crime?! Oh boy


#42 of 184 by keesan on Sat Jan 31 20:25:37 2004:

I was not suggesting anything, Mary.  I was making guesses as to jep's state
of mind.  


#43 of 184 by jep on Sat Jan 31 21:09:40 2004:

I'm not trying to control anyone else.  I guess it sounds dramatic to 
you to keep repeating your disinformation, cyklone.  I am trying to 
affect only my own life.  There is some small affect on others, but 
this clearly affects me to a far greater extent than it does everyone 
else on Grex combined.

You hide behind your pseudo, and apparently hid behind another one two 
years ago.  You come from another system, having almost no interest in 
Grex other than to force your "principles" on me.  You then scream 
inaccurately about how "Nixonian" and "controlling" I am.  Uh... a 
little self-examination might be in order for you.  I am controlling 
my life. 


#44 of 184 by naftee on Sat Jan 31 21:11:29 2004:

hahaha...'the EEEEEVIL OTHER SYSTEMME'


#45 of 184 by cyklone on Sat Jan 31 21:30:59 2004:

Re #43: What you call "controlling my life" seems to include controlling
others as well. As for my interest in Grex, go read my item in agora and
maybe you will know the facts a little better. BTW, the principles you
claim I am trying to "force" on you are not just mine but the principles
grex professed to be upholding when it agreed to cooperate with the ACLU. 
I personally don't care if grex wants to do personal favors for favored
persons at the expense of free and uncensored speech. Ya'll can have your
little sandbox to play in, and I'll join the reindeer games elsewhere.
Grex's credibility is at stake, and if ya'll want to be hypocrites, be my
guest. 



#46 of 184 by jp2 on Sun Feb 1 00:02:21 2004:

This response has been erased.



#47 of 184 by twinkie on Sun Feb 1 00:29:10 2004:

Did you steal a page from aaron's "How To Argue With Leeron" book?



#48 of 184 by naftee on Sun Feb 1 00:43:53 2004:

No he just asked you..."HOW TO BE AS GAY AS POSSIBLE".


#49 of 184 by jp2 on Sun Feb 1 00:55:55 2004:

This response has been erased.



#50 of 184 by naftee on Sun Feb 1 01:59:07 2004:

Exactly; just like leeron.  


#51 of 184 by twinkie on Sun Feb 1 02:18:49 2004:

re 48 

Naftee, nobody is questioning whether you've stolen my act or not.



#52 of 184 by naftee on Sun Feb 1 02:30:13 2004:

Stealing one of your acts would be about the stupidest thing someone could
do.  But then again, that's why you thought of it.  If we can even call those
actions "thinking" in the traditional sense.


#53 of 184 by gull on Sun Feb 1 03:02:50 2004:

Re resp:45: Grex's claim to the ACLU was that we'd be forced to shut 
down.  It didn't really have much to do with the system's commitment to 
free speech.  Maybe you shouldn't pretend to know better than the rest 
of us about stuff that happened before you came here.

I'm getting really tired of people who come to Grex from other systems 
just to have fun gaming the system, trolling, and tormenting staff.  I 
wish they'd go back to shitting in their own back yard and stop shitting 
in ours.


#54 of 184 by cyklone on Sun Feb 1 03:11:41 2004:

While I was in fact on grex regularly at the time of the ACLU discussion,
I admit to not knowing the details. However, I doubt it would have been
interested in grex if it was aware of the present policy of personal
favors for favored persons at the expense of free and uncensored speech. I
could of course be wrong, but that does not make the hypocrisy disappear. 



#55 of 184 by jep on Sun Feb 1 03:33:42 2004:

I have some history with M-Net myself, some involvement with it's 
past, and some concern about it.  I certainly don't consider it to be 
an insult to be an M-Netter.  However, I have been an active Grexer, 
too.  I've been involved here, and when I express a concern for Grex, 
it is on behalf of Grex, in the interest of improving Grex, so that it 
will be better for myself as well as others.

I have pointed out that probably most of the discussion against my 
proposal is from people who have little other involvement with Grex 
than trying to control it.  Jp2 is one such; a highly unusual case in 
that he actually ran for the Board without much other involvement 
here.  Naftee and polytarp are two more, and cyklone, you're another.  
It's wonderful for you to have principles, I am sure.  It's puzzling 
when they extend so far as to areas (Grex, I mean) about which you 
haven't got much other concern.  It's foolish for you to call 
me "controlling" under the circumstances of this discussion.

As far as what you've said in Agora, it is not of interest to me.  Is 
that the Agora on M-Net, or Grex, by the way?

As far as personal favoritism... it is true that people here may 
regard what I say in a different light than what someone says whom 
they don't know, or have known only recently.  I've been here since 
Grex first came on-line.  Most Grexers have had ample opportunity to 
know me at my best and my worst, and the many stages in between.  I 
have said things that disgust, disappoint, frustrate, horrify and 
anger many people here.  I have also said things that entertain them, 
contribute to their arguments, or perhaps even enlighten them a 
little, from time to time.  I care about some Grexers, and some of 
them care about me.  I don't think it would be an improvement if they 
treated me the same way as someone who just ran 'newuser' for the 
first time today.  I think it would be silly.  Not that it matters 
what I think; they are not going to do it.  No one in all of human 
experience treats people they don't know the same as those they do 
know.  I am not asking for a policy change.  I am asking for a favor, 
and asking for recognition of unusual circumstances.  I have said 
exactly that since I asked for the users to authorize my items to 
remain deleted.  


#56 of 184 by twinkie on Sun Feb 1 04:18:43 2004:

I think it's unfortunate that you'd dismiss valid points out of hand, simply
because you're able to produce "street cred". 

Admittedly, my knowledge of Grex history is mostly anecdotal, but I'm still
reasonably sure that a tenet of Grex has been to allow everyone an equal
opportunity to direct the system's future. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but
I thought that was the larger reason Grex came to fruition.

At what point does a person earn the right to say that something's wrong, or
that change is needed? And at what point does a person gain the right to trump
the suggestions of others?

Personally, I have little (if any) stake in Grex. I've been a user on and off
for probably a decade now, give or take a few months. Does that longevity earn
me a place at the table of elders? (Don't worry, that's a rhetorical question)

Either way, as something of an outsider looking in, there seems to be varying
degrees of hypocrisy on both sides. One side is all but chanting "Do as I say,
not as I do." while some of the others who are championing free speech as an
absolute are themselves guilty of raising a stink to have their works deleted.

I don't think either side is inherently right here. If the items are restored,
there's almost certainly going to be some emotional duress to a few users.
If they're wiped from the digital ether forever, the concept of speech without
censorship is damaged. 

It really boils down to what you care more about. You're voting for a friend,
or you're voting for your principles.



#57 of 184 by jp2 on Sun Feb 1 04:20:56 2004:

This response has been erased.



#58 of 184 by witzbolt on Sun Feb 1 04:45:05 2004:

Re. 55:  I have no interest in controlling Grex, and I think you should
appologise for pretending you think I do.


#59 of 184 by witzbolt on Sun Feb 1 04:48:43 2004:

Re. 57:  AHAH< YEAH< IF YOU THINK JPTHOMAS IS HALF OF M_NET<> AHAHA.


#60 of 184 by twinkie on Sun Feb 1 04:50:29 2004:

b&



#61 of 184 by naftee on Sun Feb 1 05:18:25 2004:

re 55 What, you're calling me the control freak?  You're the one who's making
_specific_ requests of GreX users to do _specific_ actions.  I have merely
demanded action on supposed GreXer principles.

re 57 Yeah I have reasonably steady posters on my wall too.  Does that count?


#62 of 184 by jp2 on Sun Feb 1 05:34:31 2004:

This response has been erased.



#63 of 184 by tod on Sun Feb 1 15:58:00 2004:

This response has been erased.



#64 of 184 by gull on Sun Feb 1 17:10:08 2004:

Re resp:63: There's a certain group of people who have come here with no 
interest in contributing anything to the system; they're only here to 
make trouble, by arguing about obscure points of policy, repeatedly 
posting large amounts of irrelevent text in conferences, and abusing 
staff members.  I see no reason we have to welcome people like that, 
anymore than a coffeehouse would have to welcome people who came there 
to shout obscenities at patrons.


#65 of 184 by scott on Sun Feb 1 17:10:48 2004:

What bugs me about this whole "Grex MUST xxx, because that's what it claims
to support" argument is that it pretty much would prevent Grex from being a
community.  One thing a healthy community can do is occasionally cut people
a little slack.  Places that demand 100% compliance with some set of
principles, no matter how well-intentioned, will eventually schism over
differences in interpretation or in realization by some that the principles
cannot be considered perfect.  

I don't think a community can be based on "you must assume that EVERYTHING
you say will be hoarded in case it becomes useful as evidence against you".
Nobody can really live up to that standard.

And I would rather not have Grex become like M-Net, where you have a community
of people for whom online interaction means creating a persona that isn't 
real but is instead meant for a game of humorous insults.


#66 of 184 by naftee on Sun Feb 1 19:14:44 2004:

re 64 No, we only abuse former staff members.

re 65 Your idea of what m-net is like is rather humourous, but completely
false.


#67 of 184 by aruba on Sun Feb 1 19:16:36 2004:

I agree strongly with scott in #65.


#68 of 184 by twinkie on Sun Feb 1 19:45:34 2004:

re: 65

Kristallnacht was also cohesive community thinking.

Okay, okay, that's more than a little extreme. 

Honestly though, what's the point of claiming to support something, when
you're not prepared to support it? 

I think a lot of people are surprised to see responses deleted en masse after
the somewhat recent debate over whether a person can permanently scribble one
of their own responses.

It's unconscionable that so many people would object to someone wanting to
do something as simple as remove their posts, yet many of the same objectors
are willing to write a free pass to friends who want to destry their posts,
as well as the contributions of others. 

Perhaps I'm misreading here, but it seems to me that the objection isn't as
much to popcorn and jep wanting to scribble their posts. The objection is to
the hundreds (thousands?) of others who were *not* willing to have their
writings arbitrarily censored, yet had their contributions forcibly removed.

Although you don't want Grex to become another M-Net, allowing this could
quite possibly be the most M-Netish thing Grex has ever done. And I'm not
talking about M-Net today, but M-Net before 1995.

You're sowing the seeds of favoritism, separate classes of users, and blatant
staff abuse. If those hallmarks haven't made M-Net what it is today, I don't
know what has. 

Rather than view the handful of M-Netters here as dictating "You must be like
M-Net!", try looking at them as people trying to warn you "Don't be like
M-Net." If you're a sci-fi fan, pretend they've come from 2014 to tell you
what Grex looks like in the future.

While I don't necessarily agree with your broad generalization of M-Net's
community atmosphere, there is a certain degree of truth there. To some
(perhaps many), there is solace in simply knowing that Grex is an alternative.
I can't speak for others, but I can say that that's why I've bothered to post
about this. You have a community. Don't screw it up.



#69 of 184 by scott on Sun Feb 1 20:43:10 2004:

Re 68:

Ignoring your Nazi comparison...

"Honestly though, what's the point of claiming to support something, when
 you're not prepared to support it?"

There's a difference between supporting something and rigidly insisting that
everything done by everybody must match that something 100%... and on top of
that demanding that everything must be documented as official policy.


#70 of 184 by jep on Sun Feb 1 20:46:30 2004:

I think there's a difference between the definition of Grex's 
principles as seen by Grex non-participants, as opposed to the applied 
principles of actual Grexers.

re resp:56: There's no conflict between having principles, and helping 
out another person, unless your principles are pretty whacked.  If 
your principles are so rigid that there's no room for any variation, 
no matter what, then there's something wrong with your principles, and 
with you.  It's like having a principle of self-sufficiency, to the 
point where you will never assist another person.  That's not a 
principle of self-sufficiency; it's a policy of disassociation.

That isn't to say that, if you don't vote for my proposal, your 
principles are by definition wrong.  You might just think my request 
hasn't got enough merit to be worth supporting, but that someone 
else's similar request might.  Or you might think the remains of those 
items would still be worth preserving, and oppose my proposal on those 
grounds.  But to oppose my proposal because of a principle that, once 
entered on Grex, all text must be preserved forever and there must 
never be any deviation from that, no matter what... which is what a 
few people have said, directly... that is the sort of view which 
causes me to put the word "principle" in quotation marks.  


#71 of 184 by witzbolt on Sun Feb 1 21:15:43 2004:

My principles are rigid and there's nothing wrong with them.


#72 of 184 by cyklone on Sun Feb 1 21:59:26 2004:

Nice way to blur the issues, jep. I don't think anyone has said "all text
must be preserved forever and there must never be any deviation from that,
no matter what" so it is blatantly dishonest for you to says as much.
Stolen credit card numbers cannot remain posted forever, for instance.

That is far different from what happened in your case. You did not come to
the membership and ask people to voluntarily agree to to your request. You
sought and suceeded in imposing your will on many people who had no idea
what you had done on your behalf could possibly be permitted on a system
that claims to support free and uncensored speech. You then failed to
justify your extraordinary action with anything other than "the item
bothered me and I wanted it to go away." If that is in fact the new
standard, at least for favored grexers, then grex should be ashamed to
even mention free speech as a core principle or tenet of the system.
You've lowered your standards to an ad hoc system with no guiding
principles to provide any sort of predictability or understanding in the
future.

This is also why those ranting about not wanting to have rigid adherence
to "principles" miss the point. If you want to have exceptions, fine. 
Just spell them out ahead of time or at least identify the factors that
should be considered when a similar issue arises again. 

Welcome to Grex: Where some grexers are more equal than others.



#73 of 184 by twinkie on Sun Feb 1 23:14:45 2004:

re: 69

Ignoring you ignoring where I basically said to ignore the Nazi reference...

"There's a difference between supporting something and rigidly insisting
everything done by everybody must match that something 100%"

And that difference is what, exactly? 

"I support free speech, unless one of my friends wants to chill it."?

"I support the rights bestowed upon others, unless it makes someone with the
appropriate history on this system uncomfortable."?

"I support the concept of a free and open system, unless someone gets upset
about how the freedom and openness is applied in ways they don't expect."?

I can understand the various shades of grey in a statement like "Chocolate
ice cream is the best. I support chocolate ice cream." But we're really not
talking about issues that can be taken so subjectively.

How can there be a grey area in "promoting free speech"? Why do you think
conferencing software doesn't allow a non-fw to tamper with the responses of
others? 



#74 of 184 by gelinas on Sun Feb 1 23:34:38 2004:

Conferencing software does what its _author_ thinks is right, to the
best of the author's programming ability.  It was not handed down from on
high, as the be-all and end-all of human computer-mediated interaction.

Or do you _really_ think that it is right and proper that personal computers
crash and otherwise lose and destroy their user's work at irregular but
frequent intervals?  After all, they do it so often that *must* be the
way it is supposed to be.

twinkie, you *know* there are limits to freedom of speech.  You *know* there
are limits to the openness of any system.  To pretend otherwise is to demean
your argument.

The question is not, "Are there limits?"  The question is, "What are the
limits?"

By the way, different packages will have different features.  For example,
IIRC, Confer II _did_ allow the item author to delete the item, at any time.


#75 of 184 by naftee on Mon Feb 2 00:29:03 2004:

re 74 Hey guess what?  The conferencing systems in use also allow someone else
to delete items.  That user is.....THE FAIRWITNESS.  Yes, that's right,
they're people with a special responsibility, and unlike scandalous staff
members, are expected to report their actions.  That's why it's less likely
for them to commit acts of censorship, _and that's why we have them_.

It's interesting to note that jep did indeed report valerie's actions on the
items he entered, when valerie kept it secret from GreX.  Does he deserve
something for reporting his crime after the fact?  Maybe he thought someone
would eventually discover that too.  I'd like to know your reasoning, jep.


#76 of 184 by jp2 on Mon Feb 2 01:04:24 2004:

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#77 of 184 by twinkie on Mon Feb 2 01:17:31 2004:

re: 74

The author creates software that people want. Clearly the functionality is
designed to reflect what the vast majority of the user base wants. A diatribe
about stability is nothing more than a red herring.

Sure, there are limits to free speech. The old "yelling 'fire' in a movie
theater" comes to mind. But we're not talking about that sort of free speech.
We're talking about what's really nothing short of revisionism. 

I'm not saying the deletion is akin to yelling "fire!" where there's no fire.
I'm saying it's like Dr. King deciding that he didn't really mean it when he
said he had a dream, and demanding that every reference to August 28th 1963
be wiped from history, along with anyone who ever wrote anything based on or
inspired by it. 

Civil rights activists had a right to say "I quite liked it", Klan members
had a right to say "I hated it", et cetera. 

Obviously, jep and popcorn are not on the same social or literary plateaus
as the good Doctor, but I think you can see the point here. 

And yes, there are limits to the openness of an open system. Nobody's
suggesting that Grex pass out root access to people. If anything, people are
asking that the openness be limited. They're asking that it be closed to the
extent that their contributions not be arbitrarily deleted. They're asking
that access be limited to prevent those with enhanced access from chilling
their right to post, and have their posts seen.

There's so much talk about community, that many are losing sight of what
community is. Be it Grex or M-Net, the community is the content. Users come
and go from both systems, but the content endures. The content is the
foundation of the community, and the content is the basis for newcomers to
easily integrate in to the community. 

Without the content, you have nothing but a handful of people who go on
GrexWalk. The instability of the content that exists, and the content that
has yet to be posted, is inherently in danger. 

By allowing the deletions to take place, you're setting precedent. You're
saying that years, months, even days from now, Dave can decide that he really
didn't like entering this item, because it made people feel bad that they
didn't get e-mail from Valerie. 

The precedent thus far dictates that if Dave has root access (or knows someone
who does), he is well within his rights to delete this item (or have it
deleted). And at this point, who are you, or anyone else for that matter, to
tell him otherwise? Who here is willing to say "That's okay for Valerie Mates
and John Perry, but it's not okay for Dave Cahill."? After all, he's just as
established here as anyone else.

Consider the ramifications of that happening. Consider future members who may
want a historical perspective, but would be denied that by the whim of a
single user.

You can't say "Well, this item carries more weight than Valerie's diary, or
John's ordeal, so it must be preserved." without getting on a *very* slippery
slope of determining the merit of one's posts. Is that worthwhile to you?



#78 of 184 by jp2 on Mon Feb 2 01:23:57 2004:

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#79 of 184 by gelinas on Mon Feb 2 01:37:32 2004:

We are more in agreement than you might think, twinkie.

There is no precedent.  Someone did something, yes, but a substantial number
of people have agreed that doing that thing was wrong.  The membership
is deciding whether that thing should be undone.  However the vote goes,
though, one thing is very clear:  people don't like the idea of deleting
other people's text.  Even if the text is not restored, the sense of the
community has been taken:  Delete Items At Your Peril.

I had occasion to ask Marcus about his philosophy and picospan.  He noted
that he should eventually drop in and offer his perspective.  I don't
think it is any where near as deterministic as you seem to.


#80 of 184 by naftee on Mon Feb 2 02:52:33 2004:

Oh, so even though you *think* that most of the people (who knows, maybe
future members) are in disagreement with what jep/valerie did, you're still
going to let a small number of people who happen to have a membership now have
the only say in this matter, and then go along and say it don't mean much?

Wow, that's messed up.


#81 of 184 by gelinas on Mon Feb 2 03:04:38 2004:

That's the way voting goes, naftee.  Those eligible to make the decsion make
it.


#82 of 184 by naftee on Mon Feb 2 03:25:17 2004:

At the expense of the bylaws and human rights?!  


#83 of 184 by witzbolt on Mon Feb 2 03:34:21 2004:

for this lowlow price.


#84 of 184 by naftee on Mon Feb 2 03:34:51 2004:

Next they"ll be selling services!


#85 of 184 by cyklone on Mon Feb 2 04:03:25 2004:

Gelinas says "The question is not, "Are there limits?"  The question is, "What
are the limits?""

Could *someone* please answer the last question? Some on grex want to do
personal favors for favored persons but no one seems to want to answer the
obvious question. There's an elephant in the living room people. Deal with
it.


#86 of 184 by gelinas on Mon Feb 2 07:10:19 2004:

We are in the process of answering that question, cyklone.


#87 of 184 by twinkie on Mon Feb 2 09:20:59 2004:

re: 79

There most certainly is precedent. Otherwise, the items would have been
restored.

If polytarp or naftee found a way to start deleting items, would you hold
their restoration to a membership vote? Something tells me you'd join a chorus
of users decrying them as "vandals". (Apologies to polytarp and naftee, but
you're the bad boys du jour here)

I didn't mean to suggest that Marcus was the end-all-be-all voice of how
conferencing systems operate. Either I wasn't clear about that, or you
misinterpreted what I said. Though, I'd be quite interested in his take on
it.



#88 of 184 by jp2 on Mon Feb 2 11:34:39 2004:

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#89 of 184 by scott on Mon Feb 2 13:54:00 2004:

Re 87:

If polytarp or naftee found a way to delete items?  First off it would depend
on whether it was items they themselves had entered, if there's to be a
comparison to Valerie's deletions.  But taking a broader case... we would know
that polytarp/nagtee are indeed "bad boys", to use your term.  There is
nothing in our policies or principles that says that Grex cannot have memory,
that every single case must assume that the people involved are completely
new to Grex.  I suppose you'll start making the usual complaint about
"favorites" again, but again I think you are trying to prevent Grex from being
a community by insisting on rigid interpretation of (in this case) an
essential imaginary rule: that no matter how obnoxious a user becomes, they
are merely expressing "free speech".


#90 of 184 by gull on Mon Feb 2 14:29:10 2004:

Re resp:68: I'm amused by the claim that "hundreds of people" posted to
those items, much less thousands.  You make a good argument otherwise,
but rein in the hyperbole a bit. ;>

Re resp:85: No, people aren't ignoring the question. That's what the
vote's for.  Also, while it can be argued that the deletion of jep's
items set a precident, there's another vote coming up that may totally
change that.  That's how things work here; we vote on stuff.  If you're
expecting that if you debate hard enough, you can win by fiat regardless
of how the vote comes out, you're wrong.

Re resp:87: If naftee or polytarp started deleting items, it'd mean
they'd hacked someone else's account.  That's a totally different situation.


#91 of 184 by naftee on Mon Feb 2 15:02:52 2004:

That's what you think, bad boy.


#92 of 184 by jep on Mon Feb 2 16:22:55 2004:

re resp:76: What I was saying in resp:70 is that principles which are 
so rigid and inflexible they fail to, or cannot, accommodate varying 
circumstances are not good principles.

The purpose of moral principles is to guide your actions, to provide 
yourself with guidelines for making better decisions and actions.  If 
your principles force you into taking bad actions, then your principles 
are wrong.  They're dysfunctional.  If holding to your principles 
forces you to taking actions you know to be wrong, then they're not 
even principles at all.  They're rules.  Also, they're an inherent 
problem, not any kind of solution.  They may be more or less of a 
problem, depending on whether they provide you with more good answers 
or more bad ones.

In the case of the deleted items, I think you ought to be looking at 
the amount of good done overall, versus the amount of harm.  It's a 
value judgement.

I tell you there has been great value to me in having my two items 
deleted.  I've cited some of why; I've been misquoted a lot about it 
but I've given a lot of explanation.

So then, is it worth it to Grex to take that away from me?  I think 
that's the question a thoughtful voter has to answer.

If your answer is, "I think Grex's principles are that this sort of 
thing can never be done, period", well, I guess that's your right, but 
I think you're missing something.


#93 of 184 by slynne on Mon Feb 2 17:17:57 2004:

My position on this at the moment is that the items should be restored. 
It was not an easy decision for me to come by. I guess I just dont 
think it is ok to give some people control over another person's words 
here...even if that someone is a little asshole like jp2 and the person 
who wants to do the deleting is someone I would like to give 
preferential treatment to like jep. 

Values dont mean anything unless they get applied to everyone equally. 

With that said, I also dont think there is a problem with providing 
special favors for special people so I will agree to allow either 
valerie or jep to delete/scribble any posts I made in those items. 
While I dont feel comfortable giving them power over other people's 
words, I do feel it is appropriate to give up control over my own words 
in this case. 


#94 of 184 by jp2 on Mon Feb 2 17:38:46 2004:

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#95 of 184 by md on Mon Feb 2 17:40:45 2004:

This might've been asked and answered already, but just so I don't have 
to read the whole thing... 

Why can't the items be restored, but with valerie's responses all 
deleted?  People delete their own responses all the time and nobody 
cares.


#96 of 184 by gelinas on Mon Feb 2 17:43:02 2004:

That's what the vote is on, md: do we restore the items Valerie deleted?


#97 of 184 by jp2 on Mon Feb 2 18:16:19 2004:

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#98 of 184 by tod on Mon Feb 2 18:24:11 2004:

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#99 of 184 by mary on Mon Feb 2 18:49:33 2004:

Try to keep up there, Michael. ;-)

Valerie doesn't just want her responses removed.  She wants
everyone's responses gone because they are about her, and her
family, and her children.

John likewise doesn't want just his comments removed but those
of everyone else in the discussion, because what others have
said may hurt him in the future.

This is going to set some interesting precedent.


#100 of 184 by tod on Mon Feb 2 18:57:26 2004:

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#101 of 184 by twinkie on Mon Feb 2 19:01:39 2004:

re: 89
What difference does it make if they hacked someone's account or not? It's not
as though Valerie had any more permission to do what she did than anyone else
had. Access != permission.

re: 90
I should have used "responses" instead of people. I doubt Grex has "hundreds"
let alone "thousands" of active BBS participants. 



#102 of 184 by witzbolt on Mon Feb 2 20:39:50 2004:

i'm ejaculating on your tits.


#103 of 184 by cyklone on Mon Feb 2 22:56:16 2004:

Re #86: I see know evidence that grex is in the process of determining when
it is appropriate to personal favors for favored persons. So far all I am
seeing is an adhocracy in which anyone can make a proposal and allow a vote,
no matter how ridiculous the requests. As mary correctly notes, you *are*
setting a precedent and I have not seen one substantive discussion of how this
will be treated as a precedent and whether future requests will be via the
same process.

At the very least, it seems to me the standard should be that the
"default" is that users control their own words. Certainly that has been
the general rule in the past. To create an exception to that principle
there should be some sort of criteria to be met to justify the exception.

In case ya'll haven't noticed, I have asked for good reasons to jusitify
the exceptions. I've asked jep to point me to old posts of his where his
thoughts are explained coherently. He hasn't done so. He has said it has
nothing to do with legal implications. He says he wished a similar item
was available to him. He says he doesn't want to have to explain anything
to his son. As I mentioned elsewhere, that cat is out of the bag. His son
will end up finding these coop items instead. Nor has *ANYONE* addressed
my scenario in which a drug addict, sex addict, etc. could post an
extremely helpful and informative item on addiction and then claim it
should be deleted based on jep's selfish "I don't want my son to know"
precedent. Such a precedent is incredibly damaging to grex.


And it would be nice if jep and some of his supporters could argue
honestly about this. It is not honest to say the deleted posts of others
have little or no value when jep himself wished such an item existed
before. And no one has argued for an absolute inflexible "principle".
The rules against posting credit card numbers are one example. So ditch
the red herrings and start talking about on what grounds you will
recognize exceptional requests for deleting the words of others.  What
criteria should be applied? Don't kid yourselves. This is ALL about
precedent.




#104 of 184 by md on Tue Feb 3 00:08:47 2004:

Okay, here are some ferinstances.  Should the following responses *by 
other participants* be deleted from an item from which one participant 
wants his or her own responses deleted.  Let's call the person who 
wants his or her own responses by the his-or-her name of "Leslie."

1. So, Leslie, you say your Visa card number is 1234567890?

2. But Leslie, why on earth would you want to have sex with little boys?

3. I agree, Leslie, I don't think taking your nextdoor neighbor's old 
laptop counts as stealing, if you're sure they weren't using it.

4. Er, Leslie, I don't think you should be saying stuff like that 
here.  What if the FBI is reading this item?

5. Leslie, you're paying way too much for your Xanax.

6. Look on the bright side, Leslie: if your wife is having an affair, 
that means you can have one, too, guilt-free!

7. But Leslie, there are lots of guys who like fat women.  Plus, if 
you're just 5'4" 180 lbs, that doesn't sound fat to me at all.

8. Good grief, Leslie, how many times have you been fired this year?

9. So, Leslie, do you really think your breast milk is vegan because 
*you're* vegan?  What are you, some kind of an idiot?

10. Leslie thinks the whole world has to stop and feel sorry for her 
just because her boyfriend dumped her.  What a whining loser!

11. Leslie is nothing but an antiabortion christian fundamentalist 
whacko.

12. Grow up, Leslie, you knew your wife was flat-chested when you 
married her.

13. Leslie, does your girlfriend know you're HIV positive?

14. Leslie, when you say your penis is 3" long erect, which side are 
you measuring it on?

15. Leslie is under *no* obligation to tell his employer he's addicted 
to heroin!

16. Btw, Leslie, thanks for entering the nuclear bomb specs.  I didn't 
know it was that easy to make.


#105 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 00:20:17 2004:

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#106 of 184 by md on Tue Feb 3 00:31:07 2004:

3


#107 of 184 by cyklone on Tue Feb 3 01:15:04 2004:

Re #103: "know" sb "no"

Thank you md for finally getting to the heart of what many are avoiding.
Not all of your examples are easy choices, although my view generally is
that no one puts a gun to a poster's head and forces them to write someone
else's words. #1 is the only one that jumps out at me, although there are
maybe one or two others I could change my mind on.

I also like that much of what md used for examples is similar to what has
already been posted here. Yet there was no big outcry to delete them.



#108 of 184 by naftee on Tue Feb 3 01:35:23 2004:

Actually the precedent seems to be someone does something, and if another one
finds out, then the action is voted on after the fact.  But if the GreXers
have it their way, they get away with whatever happened and act as if nothing
changed.


#109 of 184 by mary on Tue Feb 3 01:35:32 2004:

I think posting credit card numbers to facilitate theft is
quite illegal.  The police might want to know about that one.

But first let me try it out on ebay. ;-)

The rest have pretty much been done to death here, with slight
variations.  They rate a yawn.


#110 of 184 by twinkie on Tue Feb 3 02:28:14 2004:

So Mike, have you stopped beating your wife yet?



#111 of 184 by gelinas on Tue Feb 3 02:31:33 2004:

Re 99:  Grex is in the process of determining whether it is appropriate to
remove other people's text _at all_ (except for certain obvious exceptions
mentioned above, like credit card numbers).

The arguments presented above and elsewhere are interesting and useful,
but the real answer is going to be in the vote.  If, as I expect, jp2's
proposal passes and jep's fails, then the precedent will be established
that what Valerie did should not be repeated.  If jp2's proposal fails,
then and only then will there be a precedent for removing items.  If jep's
proposal passes, there _may_ be a precedent for special favours.  However,
the special circumstances that allowed the removal in the first place
aren't likely to be repeated: 'twould require a staff member with the
knowledge to act as she did but without the knowledge of this discussion.

As jep has noted, a public discussion of his request would have made
his request moot: it would have guaranteed the items' preservation and
could conceivably have resulted in their reposting in entirety, under
somebody else's name.  Retiring the items first would not have helped:
"set noforget" overrules "retire".  So there will never again be the
opportunity to do this special favour.


#112 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 02:50:48 2004:

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#113 of 184 by gelinas on Tue Feb 3 03:04:41 2004:

I disagree: 'staff' won't delete items on request.  If staff _would_ delete
items on request, Item 39 would have been long gone from this conference.
That it has NOT been removed is evidence that your premise is false.


#114 of 184 by cyklone on Tue Feb 3 03:32:31 2004:

"So there will never again be the opportunity to do this special favour."

Regardless. The favor should not be done for the reasons I've stated
previously. The mere fact the opportunity to do the WRONG thing is unique
in no way justifies the harm of granting the favor. Jep will be allowed to
remove his words. That is all he is entitled to. Anything more is just a
personal favor for a favored person., without any justification other than
"my son might see it." What a lame and immature excuse.



#115 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 11:14:09 2004:

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#116 of 184 by mary on Tue Feb 3 12:27:02 2004:

Re: Joe's #111

 "As jep has noted, a public discussion of his request would have made
  his request moot: it would have guaranteed the items' preservation and
  could conceivably have resulted in their reposting in entirety, under
  somebody else's name."

That's not correct.  Jep could have at any time gone into the divorce
items and removed all of his comments.  So the worst that could have
happened is someone could have read or reposted comments made by others.
This whole debate isn't over what Jep and Valerie posted - it's about what
the other participants in those forums posted and who "owns" those
comments. 



#117 of 184 by gelinas on Tue Feb 3 12:34:53 2004:

Right, Mary; but jep's request was for the removal of _all_ of the text,
his as well as others'.  Had he simply wanted his own text removed,
there would have been no need for public discussion at all.


#118 of 184 by mary on Tue Feb 3 12:41:00 2004:

Right, and imagine this:  Jep quietly goes in and deletes all of his own
comments *then* goes to staff and asks for everyone else's text to be
deleted.  I suspect even Valerie would have given that one a little more
thought. 



#119 of 184 by mary on Tue Feb 3 12:43:03 2004:

Or maybe not. ;-)


#120 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 13:19:07 2004:

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#121 of 184 by cyklone on Tue Feb 3 14:31:52 2004:

Yup. Gelinas seems to miss the point. He also calls jep's situation a
unique one-time only deal. However, there is already a proposal to allow
others to *voluntarily* remove their posts before any wholesale copying is
done (if I am understanding the proposed mechanism correctly). In fact, if
Grex is going to entertain the notion of doing personal favors for favored
persons, then that strikes me as the appropriate method. Item owner makes
request to staff, staff temporarily bars access immediately. User makes
pitch for voluntary deletions and mass deletes own posts. Others who agree
go in and make deletions.  What is left is re-posted. It's really quite
simple. Jep's situation is thus in no way unique and it is disingenuous
for gelinas to suggest otherwise. 

What is unique is that some on grex are seriously advocating the removal
of the words of others for NO OTHER REASON than the item in which they
appeared. I find that position appalling and unprincipled.



#122 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 15:07:01 2004:

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#123 of 184 by gull on Tue Feb 3 15:39:42 2004:

Re resp:98: The fact that it's a public forum in no way means I have to
*welcome* those people.  Tolerate them, maybe.  It doesn't mean I have
to believe them when they say they're acting for the good of Grex.  I
don't believe that's true of jp2 any more than I believe polytarp was
trying to get people to read the classics by posting lots of Project
Gutenberg texts in Agora.  This is amusing to them in the same way that
chucking rocks at people's windows is amusing to schoolkids.


Re resp:101: Hacking into someone else's account would violate clearly
defined policy.  There was no policy about what valerie did.


Re resp:103: "So far all I am seeing is an adhocracy in which anyone can
make a proposal and allow a vote, no matter how ridiculous the requests."

Well, yes.  Is there a problem with that?  mnet seems to be the same
way. (I remember seeing a proposal there recently on whether to prohibit
jp2 from making any further proposals.  I found that an intriguing idea.
 I have no idea if it passed.)


Re resp:110: Mary's probably gonna try to get Mike arrested, now. ;>


#124 of 184 by anderyn on Tue Feb 3 15:43:26 2004:

jp2, did you respond in any of the items that were deleted? I'm just curious
about whether your outrage is about actual deletion of your words or
theoretical deletion of them. (As someone whose words were in fact deleted
in both cases (I posted heavily to the baby diaries and jep's divorce items),
I can't say that I feel censored in particular, since what I said was said
and had its effect at the time I said it, and that was all that I desired and
expected from those postings, that they be part of the conversation at the
time. I don't have any particular attachment to them now, years later, in
terms of being aghast that they were deleted. I'm not happy that they were
without my being asked, but I'm also not feeling censored in any way. I was
allowed to speak at the time it was relevant. I can always add my two cents
to any future discussion about similar topics. That doesn't seem like
censorship to me.)


#125 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 16:06:30 2004:

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#126 of 184 by jep on Tue Feb 3 16:53:07 2004:

re resp:103: Follow this link for just about all that I have said about 
deleting my two divorce items:

item:76

If you read it, I think you will be quite surprised (based on your 
comments) about what I have said and what I haven't.  Hint: you won't 
find anything I've written, there or anywhere, saying what you keep 
saying I wrote, about wanting to keep a discussion from my son.

But I've pointed *that* out several times before.  You keep bringing up 
the same thing, over and over and over again, in item after item, 
knowing it's incorrect.  And accusing me of not answering you, and of 
being deceitful.  Why is that?  Why?


#127 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 16:58:25 2004:

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#128 of 184 by jep on Tue Feb 3 17:18:46 2004:

re resp:127: That is indeed my response.  Grex will not be deciding, 
now or in the future, how I raise my son.  Congratulations, Jamie.  Now 
can you go over that with cyklone?


#129 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 17:47:56 2004:

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#130 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 17:52:17 2004:

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#131 of 184 by anderyn on Tue Feb 3 18:05:03 2004:

That's pretty judgemental , jp2, about jep. I think that it's also rather
rude. While I'll admit that I know and like jep, I would think it was rude
if he said it about you. 

And if people don't feel censored, then is it censorship? That was my implicit
question to you when I said that I didn't consider my words censored by their
removal. 


#132 of 184 by cyklone on Tue Feb 3 18:17:04 2004:

Jep sez:

 1) They were entered during a time of great stress and despair.  During
 that time, I was diagnosed as undergoing major depression, and received
 presciption medication as well as therapeutic treatment for my illness.

        So what's your point. In using my analogy to an addiction item,
your mental state makes the preservation of the item even more compelling
to other desparate people who may need such an item in the same way you
wished such an item was available to you.

 2) The material I entered during that time was of a highly personal
 nature.  I don't believe I would have entered it if I had been in
 my "right mind".  I just didn't care then that I could be causing a
 future problem for myself.  I care now.

        Grex is full of highly personal material. If that was the criteria
for deletion, you would have a lot of empty space. In any case, when asked
about the "future problems for myself" you denied it was legal. You have
suggested that restoring the item would have some negative effect on your
son. Jp is right, you are the one lying, not me. Please, if these future
problems are that important to you, could you at least spell them out in
some detail? Just point me to your responses if you want, and I will read
them myself. So far, your pointer to 76 has been pretty unpersuasive.

 3) Some of the material could potentially be used to harm both myself
 and my young son.

        Again, that is a conclusory statement. What is your basis for
making it, especially after you said your concerns were not legal? What
SPECIFICALLY do you fear? I have stated before it appears to me you are
uncomfortable allowing your son on grex if your items remain. Is that
your sole reason or one of them?  Please be specific. Your calculated
vagueness, which allows your supporters to "fill in the blanks" with their
own awfulizing, is certainly not an effective means of establishing
precedent and good policy. 

 4) The material contained within them was focused on me, and my own
 personal problems, and had very little if any relevance to anyone else.

        This just shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the term
relevance. In fact, seeing, reading and hearing about he experiences of
others, no matter how personal to them, can be incredibly relevant. You
yourself admitted you wished there was such an item. Now you would deny it
to someone else. How very very selfish of you. You should be ashamed of
yourself.

 5) The items are currently deleted from the system.  They were unused
 for a period of over a year.  I believe they were not being read by
 anyone, and am certain they had not been responded to for over a year.
 I don't believe there is any compelling reason for these items to be
 restored. through my problems of a couple of years ago.
         
        Se my previous response. You cannot predict the future and know
those items will not have value to someone else.                               




#133 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 18:20:39 2004:

This response has been erased.



#134 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 18:23:41 2004:

This response has been erased.



#135 of 184 by cyklone on Tue Feb 3 18:24:06 2004:

BTW, twila, my words (many many of them) will be censored if jep has his
way.  I put a lot of thought into them, so I am extrememly offended and
upset that after spending paragraph after paragraph trying to explain to
jep how his attitudes were self-destructive and unproductive he would
resort to such sleazy, underhanded tactics to censor an item he previously
claimed was so helpful. I am also upset because he seems to be reverting
to the same type of judgmental control freak that many of us were
cautioning him against being in the original item.



#136 of 184 by tod on Tue Feb 3 18:52:54 2004:

This response has been erased.



#137 of 184 by anderyn on Tue Feb 3 19:54:47 2004:

Cyklone, I don't deny that some (many?) others did see the deletion of their
text as censorship of their words, but I am trying to make the point that
others don't, since no one's words were prevented from appearing  AT THE TIME
when they'd be read by the person they were aimed at. I certainly didn't think
that I was writing anything that would apply to anyone except jep in his own
particular case and at that particular time. I aslo doubt that most people
in the kind of emotional pain that he was in at the time would think to troll
through old agoras on grex to find an old item when they could post a new one
and  get new and hopefully more apropos advice.

JP2, okay, some people do, But you are saying that everyone does, which is
not true. And I'm sorry that my opinion is meaningless to you, but calling
people liars and implying that this is why their relationship did not work
out is no way to convince anyone that you're worth listening to and that your
point of view is valid. Insults do not make you right.


#138 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 20:03:23 2004:

This response has been erased.



#139 of 184 by keesan on Tue Feb 3 21:19:25 2004:

I have never looked at an agora more than about 10 days after the new one
appeared.  Has anyone else reading this item done so?


#140 of 184 by albaugh on Tue Feb 3 21:21:54 2004:

I keep oldagora in my cflist.


#141 of 184 by jp2 on Tue Feb 3 21:28:55 2004:

This response has been erased.



#142 of 184 by boltwitz on Tue Feb 3 21:31:16 2004:

yeah.  i suggested that already and no-one's done it yet.


#143 of 184 by jep on Wed Feb 4 03:47:54 2004:

cyklone's resp:103 says:
He says he doesn't want to have to explain anything to his son.

I never said that.  Not here, not anywhere.  So I say.  Cyklone has 
said that same thing a lot of times before, in plenty of different 
items, and I've stated quite a few times that it is not true, but he 
keeps repeating it.

You've proved you can find my quotes, cyklone.  Show one.  Or admit 
you are deliberately trying to mislead people, while accusing *me* of 
lying.

Your credibility is on the line right now, and so is mine.  One of us 
is certainly unscrupulously and repeatedly misrepresenting the facts 
in order to deceive the users of Grex in this matter.  We definitely 
are stating directly contradictory things, and each of us has had 
ample opportunity to be familiar with the facts.  Prove I'm lying, or 
you will prove you are.

Go ahead.  I'm waiting.


#144 of 184 by jep on Wed Feb 4 04:28:48 2004:

I apologize to the rest of Grex if anyone is reading the current 
interchange.  It's not usually my style to smear other people, but I 
am getting very tired of deliberate lies being used to attack my 
character.

Resp:143, which cannot be answered, will show that cyklone is a 
determined and deliberate liar on at least one point.  Obviously, I'd 
appreciate it if you took the point that he is capable of attempting 
deception on other points as well, and that I am being very unfairly 
attacked by his remarks.

I have very thoroughly outlined my arguments for why I wanted those 
two items to be deleted.  My arguments are in item:76.  There I 
answered to the best of my ability every point raised against my 
request to leave my two divorce items deleted, as completely and 
honestly and reasonably as I can.

As has been stated, I didn't tell every part of every reason I gave.  
You can read dark and mysterious and evil intent into that if you want 
to.  I'm sorry if you do.  I'm not really like that, you know.  A lot 
of you know.

I think everything I say will be picked apart, and used against me, 
and mis-stated, and held for future attacks by a few people.  They 
care only about "winning", and not about what's right, reasonable, or 
certainly not about any other people.  So, I'm done saying much of 
anything new.

I'll say this, which I haven't said before.  I think the users of Grex 
are picking whether Grex is going to be run by people who are 
interested in developing a community and being part of it, or by a 
different sort of person entirely.  Pick who you follow carefully, you 
might find you're stuck with them for a while.


#145 of 184 by jp2 on Wed Feb 4 11:08:38 2004:

This response has been erased.



#146 of 184 by cyklone on Wed Feb 4 13:33:49 2004:

Jep, if I misquoted you, then I apologize. Now let's look at the
impression you've created with your own words. You DO say you think
allowing the item to remain can harm your son. I asked for specific
examples, and you didn't provide any. However, when I mentioned you may
just have to deal with the fact that your son could stumble upon the
items, and perhaps use that as an opportunity to discuss things with your
son, you replied by essentially saying how you raise your son is your
business and you didn't appreciate any interference. So even if you never
said anywhere that you don't "want to have to explain anything to his son" 
your response I just cited clearly implicates just that concern. 

You can play all the word games you want.  I'm man enough to say that
perhaps the exact words I wrote were not exactly what you said. Are you
man enough to admit that you HAVE SAID you believe allowing the items to
remain may have some as yet unspecified impact on your son and/or your
relationship with him?  You know you really could be honest enough with
yourself and the rest of us by just coming out and telling what your
SPECIFIC concerns are regarding your son. It seems you instead prefer to
imply problems and then backpedal and accuse others of lies or
misrepresentations when they try to discern what the exact problems are
that you are unwilling to disclose. So how bout it? Want to be honest with
us and tell us what is REALLY behind you alleged concerns for your son? Or
are you just going to continue to play foolish obfuscation games? If so,
you are being intellectually dishonest and unfair to those of us who want
to debate the merits and not the innuendo of your proposal.

BTW, twila, you said you thought someone in jep's position would be better
starting a new item than going back through an old one. That misses two
points. First, JEP HIMSELF said he wished there was an old item for him to
review. So not everyone thinks the way you do. Second, during the course
of discussion in any new item, it is certainly possible that someone might
post a reply to the effect of "you know, that sounds a lot like what jep
was going through. You should check out ______" That is yet another good
reason to allow the item to remain, along with the fact that deliberately
removing my words without permission is censorship.



#147 of 184 by jaklumen on Wed Feb 4 13:36:23 2004:

(Concerning much of the responses above) Hash and rehash.  To revisit 
several trite phrases, this is old hat 
and beating a dead horse.  It appears that everyone is pretty much 
firmly set in their opinion.

But I think one thing is pretty clear: If you have personal 
information and don't want others to get a hold of it-- don't post it 
on Grex.  It's not secure here.  It's not really secure anywhere-- but 
there are places where it is a little more secure.

For instance: listservers (such as yahoogroups)-- subscriptions can be 
controlled.  Weblogs such as LiveJournal, that have security features--
 only "friends" and groups of "friends" can read certain posts if you 
wish.  There are ways to distribute your information.  Of course, 
there is just the plain old e-mail.

But... there is no guarantee even then that your words won't be 
distributed.

So, I suppose the philosophy of "You can't take back what you said" 
still applies.  Policy and opinion can be hacked to death, but I think 
that is still the guiding principle.


#148 of 184 by gelinas on Wed Feb 4 14:27:14 2004:

(While the membership of mailing lists may be limited, what people do with
the messages they receive through the mailing lists cannot be.  As an example,
consider the message from Valerie on the current vote.)


#149 of 184 by jep on Wed Feb 4 17:21:26 2004:

Cyklone, I think I've pointed out that your assertion that your comment 
along these lines is false at least 5 previous times:

   "He says he doesn't want to have to explain anything to his son."

It just keeps coming back from you again and again.  Explain that, 
please.  It certainly seems to me like repetitious deliberate 
deception.  Let me go over that again.

Repetitious.  (It's happened several times now.)

Deliberate.  (You are doing it on purpose.)

Deception.  (You know it's not right.)

I have very little confidence that I can successfully make even this 
one point, so I am not going to address other points just now.  From 
experience, I expect you to go right on saying the same thing all over 
again.  I'm sorry if you find it frustrating, but you have repeatedly, 
knowingly, and demonstrably lied, and have lost credibility.

You've lied, repeatedly, to establish that I am lying.  It doesn't 
work.  I'm not lying.  I've backed up everything I needed to about what 
I've said with direct and concrete facts.  I've been consistent 
throughout.  Making up lies will not change that.


#150 of 184 by cyklone on Wed Feb 4 18:10:26 2004:

Jep, your words would carry a lot more weight if you could respond to my
SPECIFIC statements and questions. Putting aside whether or not I have truly
missed the point before today (and I can assure you I have enough character
and principles to refrain deliberate lying) then now is the chance for YOU
to set the record straight. 

If you re-read #146 you will see I admitted perhaps you did not use the
exact words I ascribed to you. You also say that "I think I've pointed out
that your assertion that your comment along these lines is false at least
5 previous times." Great. Please point me to those items. I will be happy
to respond. 

So far all I have to go on is your speculative and unsupported statement
that you believe that restoring the items could harm you and your son. If
you HONESTLY believe that then please provide some examples of the harm
you fear! Surely that is not too much to ask when you are seeking to
censor the words of others. If you don't provide specific examples, then
accusing me of lying does little more than show you are unable to debate
the merits of your proposal. Saying "I have very little confidence that I
can successfully make even this one point, so I am not going to address
other points just now" is a clever little cop-out. It does nothing to
encourage a discussion of your request on the merits. It is the equivalent
to saying "he was mean to me so I'm excused from continuing this debate
and I should automatically get my way." Nice try. 

Perhaps the confidence you lack is in your ability to make any cogent
arguments in support of your drastic request to impose censorship on the
very people who tried to help you. And when you seek to deny the value of
those words to others who may benefit from them, you are showing what I
can only consider to be extreme selfishness. Perhaps you can explain it
some other way. I'll be happy to hear your explanation.

I'll tell you what, jep, we can start fresh right now. You can set forth
your SPECIFIC reasons for stating you believe restoring the items will
cause you and/or your son harm, and I will respond only what you post from
there on out. Or, as an alternative, if you believe you described them to
your satisfaction in the past, then just point me to your post(s). So, are
you going to cop-out again and whine and name-call, or are you willing to
back up your conclusory and speculative statement with actual examples and
arguments? 



#151 of 184 by albaugh on Wed Feb 4 18:15:57 2004:

> If you have personal information and don't want others to get a hold of it--
> don't post it on Grex.  It's not secure here. 

That's a bit of an oxymoron, don't you think?  If you are posting it on grex,
then it is by definition being made public.  That has nothing to do with
being "secure".  One might not realize that grex is theoretically accessible
and accessed by the whole internet world, but "public" is "public".
Your personal e-mail and files *are* secure on grex, from public scrutiny.


#152 of 184 by jep on Wed Feb 4 19:40:10 2004:

re resp:150: You have lied, and done it deliberately, cyklone, as I 
demonstrated.  Go back in all of the items where you used that 
statement (and other misinformation) to try to smear me, and apologize, 
and then perhaps we can put all of this behind us and be more civil 
during the next discussion.

We are not going to "start fresh right now" for this discussion, for 
your benefit.  You can.  I'm not participating, though.

I have said all I'm going to say.  (I've said that before.)  I have 
very thoroughly explained my position.  (I said that, too.  In addition 
to doing it, which is itself a certain sort of self-documentation that 
I have done it.)

Additionally, as a bonus, I've answered all of your comments that you 
made in resp:150 already, previously to resp:150, except the highly 
personal insults, about which I don't care, not coming from you, not at 
this point.

Go read what has already been said.  Then you will know all of that 
stuff.  I shouldn't have to spoon feed it to just you for time #9, just 
because you didn't get it the previous 8 times.  It's all there.  All 
of it.  Item:76 (and I said that before, too, quite recently.)


#153 of 184 by jp2 on Wed Feb 4 19:50:22 2004:

This response has been erased.



#154 of 184 by jep on Wed Feb 4 19:57:21 2004:

There's only so many hours in the day, Jamie.  There are not enough to 
deal with you just now, particularly given the attitude you expressed 
on M-Net, and which I quoted here, that you will go to any lengths at 
all to get your way.


#155 of 184 by anderyn on Wed Feb 4 20:18:47 2004:

I believe that what jep fears is not so much that his son might see the items,
although that would or could be a concern, but that his exwife could use the
items and what he said to deny him custody during a further court battle,
which is certainly NOT outside the realm of possibility. That would be real
harm, and I certainly would not blame him for wanting in any way to reduce
that possibility. 



#156 of 184 by jp2 on Wed Feb 4 21:29:29 2004:

This response has been erased.



#157 of 184 by tod on Wed Feb 4 22:33:42 2004:

This response has been erased.



#158 of 184 by cyklone on Thu Feb 5 01:36:01 2004:

Re #155: It would be nice if jep would speak for himself twila.

Jep, if you are such a gutless pussy that you (1) won't recognize an
apology when offered, and (2) refuse to type an extra paragraph to set
forth what you believe you stated over and over, then it is you who are
lying to yourself and others. The fact is, I'm going to go back through
every fucking piece of crap you've written about this, jep, and then we'll
see exactly how specific your were in setting out your reasons for your
request. Of course if you were man enough to simply type that one extra
paragraph or two, you could save me a lot of time. But you seem hell bent
on trying to "punish" me and/or smear me for pointing out the obvious,
which is that your position is utterly unsupportable on a system that
claims to favor free and uncensored speech. Because I believe in those
principles, I'll do the heavy lifting. And fuck you for not being willing
to meet me half way.



#159 of 184 by naftee on Thu Feb 5 01:45:10 2004:

YEAH, HEAR THAT JEP>^


#160 of 184 by cyklone on Thu Feb 5 02:24:38 2004:

Well isn't this interesting . . . . .

#330 of 343: by John Ellis Perry Jr. (jep) on Thu, Jan 29, 2004 (21:23):
 re resp:326: I have written at great length and with great patience
 about my request, my decision and my reasoning.  I don't think I have
 any more to say.     

I have already completed copying all of jep's entries in item 76. The
above quote contains a huge lie, which is shown by: 

#153 of 343: by John Ellis Perry Jr. (jep) on Wed, Jan 14, 2004 (09:15):
 re resp:152: Jack, my point in mentioning you is that you're someone
 who doesn't know me very well, yet in resp:115 you referred to me and
 said "unethical" about 4 times.  I didn't mean to pick on you.  I'm
 sorry, because it's clear to me why you'd take it that way.

 I haven't discussed in great detail the reasons I think there is risk
 from those items.  I don't want to.  More detail about that isn't going
 to change the discussion.

 Once again, I'm not trying to change any policies, and I don't think I
 *am* changing any policies.  I'm asking for a very specific exception.
 My request is not a referendum on Valerie or on her actions.


Pay special attention to that middle paragraph, as it is at the heart of
what I have been saying all along. Jep is unwilling to specify why grex
should support his drastic censorship request. He would rather scrunch up
his face, stamp his feet and act all pouty that we dare question his
reasons. He would rather allow others predisposed to doing his favor the
opportunity to create their own worst case scenario to justify censorship.
Jep most certainly does not want to open his true reasons up to any actual
examination. And then, to top it all off, he pretends that he has been
forthcoming all along and the I and others are twisting his words,
notwithstanding his own words in #153 to the contrary.

So, in summary, it is jep who has lied, now saying he has gone into great
detail with his reasons, when his own words indicate he has not discussed
his reasons in any detail and DOESN'T WANT TO! Jep, you not only owe me an
apology (I won't hold my breath though, and can die happy without it), you
owe one to everyone who wants to consider your request ON THE MERITS while
you yourself refuse to specify your reasons. 

Go ahead, call me whatever names you want. Accuse me of all kinds of evil.
I can handle it. What you can't seem to handle though, is being
"convicted" on the basis of your own words (I believe the phrase is
"hoist on your own petard"). Grow up!



#161 of 184 by naftee on Thu Feb 5 02:29:25 2004:

YOU"RE NOT GOING TO STOP THERE, ARE YOU?


#162 of 184 by cyklone on Thu Feb 5 03:28:57 2004:

Actually, I might. It all depends.


#163 of 184 by jaklumen on Thu Feb 5 03:42:24 2004:

resp:151 Right.  I should have chosen a word other than 'secure' or 
been more specific-- i.e. been particular about the bbs here, and not e-
mail and files.  Posting to the bbs is public-- therefore the words are 
viable to scrutiny.  You get what I mean, but I managed to not choose 
the correct words.

Even so, I've heard stories of people accidentally sending e-mail to 
the wrong recipients with embarassing results.


#164 of 184 by valerie on Thu Feb 5 05:02:53 2004:

In #93 slynne wrote:

 My position on this at the moment is that the items should be restored.
 It was not an easy decision for me to come by. I guess I just dont
 think it is ok to give some people control over another person's words
 here...

I don't know if anybody is still wading through this huge item, but in case
anybody is still reading:

The thing I see as a problem with this reasoning is that it is creating a
new rule and applying it to old items.  When I entered my baby diaries,
there was no rule that said who "owned" an item or who could delete it.
Reasonable people made different assumptions about this gray area.  Me,
I always thought that my baby diary was something I could delete myself
or ask a fair witness to delete, at any time.  I made my postings there with
that assumption in mind, never realizing that there was a contentious
issue here.  Other people clearly came to different conclusions.  I think
it is fine to make new rules like this one and apply them to newer items
that are created after the rule is created.  But it doesn't seem right
to me to create a new rule like this one and apply it to an older item.

That baby diary started a year or two before Grex was involved in the
ACLU lawsuit.  And it started long, long, before the recent discussion in
co-op (which I haven't seen) about people deleting their own responses.
All these things have changed how items on Grex are viewed.  That's fine,
but is it right to apply these new rules to items that were created before
those rules were?  I don't think it is.


#165 of 184 by other on Thu Feb 5 05:12:26 2004:

Valerie, I have to say that I think this rule is very reasonably 
applied to all items both new and previously existing, primarily 
because it represents a change in our understanding and application 
of copyright protections and laws.  Under those circumstances, it 
makes no sense to restrict application to only new items.

Furthermore, I think it reflects a failing on the part of our system 
that changes in policy and/or standard practice were made without 
propagating to all active staff.  It should be incumbent upon staff 
members to make sure they are aware of changes in policy, at minimum 
by periodically scanning item headers in Co-op.  In fact, the staff 
conference should have an item dedicated to reporting member 
proposals, votes, outcomes and policy changes to further facilitate 
the constant currency of all staff regarding policy.


#166 of 184 by cyklone on Thu Feb 5 12:22:07 2004:

Valerie misses an obvious point: if a subjective rule is to be applied,
then all who posted to her item with a subjective belief of ownership have
just as much right to expect their words to remain under their sole
control. So the real issue is how to reconcile the views of people with
opposing but still subjectively supportable views. I agree with other on
this. Each person who entered words can control those words only. 



#167 of 184 by jp2 on Thu Feb 5 13:36:58 2004:

This response has been erased.



#168 of 184 by jep on Thu Feb 5 14:19:12 2004:

If I haven't said so before, I'll say it now (but I think I have).  I 
am not giving a blueprint on how to attack me or my son, by explaining 
in great detail my concerns.  At one time, I posted everything that was 
on my mind; someone used it against me; and that could have had really 
horrible results.  I won't repeat the mistake.

That's all you're getting on the subject, cyklone.


#169 of 184 by cyklone on Thu Feb 5 14:32:12 2004:

If you are refering to the case of mary copying your posts and showing it
to someone, your argument would be a lot more persuasive if not for the
fact you were refusing to provide details long before you became aware of
what she did. So who's lying now?  

Also, simply saying "I think my son or I might be harmed if my ex/the
police/my employer/protective services saw what others posted about me" 
would hardly be "providing a blueprint" since people have speculated as
much already (btw, my review of item #76 shows you expressed NO SUCH
concern until today). And since you yourself have said your concerns are
not legal and you do not intend to seek legal advice on this, it appears
you still wish to be vague for no good reason. In fact, one of the few
reasons I can *infer* from your behavior is that you are simply too
embarrassed to admit you are embarassed by your behavior then and now.



#170 of 184 by albaugh on Thu Feb 5 19:16:38 2004:

valerie, I hope that *you* are still reading this item.

> When I entered my baby diaries,
> there was no rule that said who "owned" an item or who could delete it.

You are mistaken, as you found out - picospan/grex *did* have a rule.

> Me, I always thought that my baby diary was something I could delete myself
> or ask a fair witness to delete, at any time.

And when you found out *you* couldn't delete your items, you did not approach
the conf. fw's for assistance - you used the special cfadm account to kill the
items yourself.  This to me shows a mindset of deliberately performing an
unauthorized action, which you knew or should have known would be contentious,
as the ensuing staff discussions proved.

At this point I think it would be better for you not to try to justify your
actions; merely say "I did what I wanted because that's what I wanted,
and because I had the power."  Everyone should understand that, even if they
disagree with that course of action and some want to see it undone.
Just don't try to play the "I didn't know any better" card; that is what 
angers me most, similar to jep trying to justify why his items should be given
special treatment.


#171 of 184 by cyklone on Thu Feb 5 21:58:58 2004:

Very well said.


#172 of 184 by bru on Thu Feb 5 23:52:58 2004:

that's it albaugh, put words in other peoples mouths.  Tell them what they
should say to mek you happy.


#173 of 184 by naftee on Fri Feb 6 00:01:33 2004:

Better than people forcing other people to do certain things to make
themselves happy.


#174 of 184 by jaklumen on Fri Feb 6 00:11:50 2004:

I get the feeling everyone is going to be stuck in their opinions 
until the votes are decided-- and even then, I bet, no one's positions 
will change.


#175 of 184 by gull on Fri Feb 6 15:29:18 2004:

Re resp:130: That's a really cheap shot.  Honestly, you can do better. 
Please, try to let me keep *some* respect for you.  You and cyklone
started out making decent, logical points, but you've allowed yourselves
to degenerate into name-calling.


#176 of 184 by albaugh on Fri Feb 6 17:54:49 2004:

Re: #172:  What are you talking about, bru?


#177 of 184 by cyklone on Fri Feb 6 19:04:06 2004:

Re #175: I hope you will take note that I have vowed to return my focus on
the issues. I also hope you will note that I re-read 130 to the present and
despite any name-calling at my end, I think I continued to make a number of
pertinent points that I hope do not go unconsidered.


#178 of 184 by naftee on Fri Feb 6 22:39:17 2004:

Yeah, keep it nice for the GreXers, theyhre only children.


#179 of 184 by tod on Sat Feb 7 00:55:41 2004:

This response has been erased.



#180 of 184 by naftee on Sat Feb 7 01:52:04 2004:

(she did say she would maintain her account)


#181 of 184 by tsty on Sun Mar 14 07:25:01 2004:

the gentle art of verbal self-defense is being abused .., btw, a great book.


#182 of 184 by jaklumen on Mon Mar 15 08:30:16 2004:

I haven't had the opportunity to read the book itself, but I have 
watched George Thompson's courses on Verbal Judo.  Quite the concept.


#183 of 184 by tsty on Tue Mar 16 11:02:43 2004:

if you had read it we oculd have traded ...


#184 of 184 by jesuit on Wed May 17 02:14:48 2006:

TROGG IS DAVID BLAINE


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