What's the absolute *worst* recording in your collection? I'm not talking about the biggest disappointment or the one that's most embarrassing to actually own, I'm talking flat-out unlistenable no-redeeming-value garbage. If you've got a record-collection of any size at all I *know* you've got something hideous buried at the bottom -- why not tell us all what it is so we can either avoid making the same mistake ourselves or at least have a good laugh at your expense..76 responses total.
In my case top honors go to Jad Fair's "Greater Expectations." An (unheard-by-me) collaboration with one of my favorite bands (Yo La Tengo) sparked a mild interest in Fair's solo work and his work with his brother in the band Half Japanese.. During one day's fruitless record-shopping excursion at Tower I decided to take a chance and select one of his albums since I couldn't find much else of interest on that fateful day.. I swear by all that is holy that this is *the* most annoying, dischordant, unspeakably, indescribably awful music I have ever heard. I seriously believe that given the chance Dr. Mengele would have chosen to play this music to the patients in his waiting room. Hopefully you will never have to deal with an album this terrible but if are among the unlucky few what would you recommend as an appropriate disposal procedure?
Oh, gee, let me think aobut that one ofr a sec... Most of the stuff I ahve I like, but... I have Fixed somewhere, by NIN (don't ask me why, it's not really mine) which really doesn't float my boat.
Mmmm, tough question. THE FIRST FEW DROPS by the Whisky Priests takes the "worst singer" prize: the guy is incapable of holding a pitch. But the band's instrumental side is pretty good. The most useless recent purchase would probably be "Quintette des Mandolines de Paris." We like French music, we like mandolins, but even by the standards of cheesy French music this is pretty sad.
Oh, I really can't say... oh, all right, the stupidest purchase I've made is a Lita Ford compilation disc. I don't even LIKE Lita Ford.
That's a toughie...I would actually have to say the Beatles anthology, just because it sounds so unprofessional and ragged that it's hard to listen to. Beatles fanatics may want to hear what it was like the first time they limped through their songs, but for me it's just excruciating, especially in comparison with the polished-sounding versions they released on their real albums.
Probably my "Christmas with Slim Whitman" album, which I was given as a joke. Aside from that, I'm going to go with a Jon Luc Ponty album I got as an exchange for a damaged album (which the store didn't have another copy of).
It's my "bitter" tape, by One Eye Open. It's just an underground recording made by a band a friend of mine was in. I bought it to support them, and I didn't even get the cool color jacket I could have gotten (it just a b/w photocopy). Anyway, I found most of the album was rather bad, save at least one the local vocational high school station used to play all the time anyway. he's done better work since. I guess I'm just not all into that garage band sound.
I would have to say that the most pathetic album I own would be Pearl Jam's "Vitalogy." I can't stand it. all the songs are about the same, and...it's just boring as all hell! I can't stand it, and...uh...if anyone wants to buy it, well... I'm willing to get rid of it ;)
I'm really going to have to have a record party sometime to give my worst albums a public listening. As little as I care for Pearl Jam about the worst you can say about their music is that it's not particularly original or interesting. I've got things in my CD collection that Man Was Not Meant to Listen To -- things that are just blood-curdlingly bad.. Aside from the Jad Fair album mentioned in #1 there's also this amazingly annoying album by Fred Frith entitled "Guitar Solos". I don't know *what* I was thinking when I bought that.. Word to the wise -- *never* buy an album of experimental guitar solos with tracks with names like "Alienated Industrial Seagulls."
I'd be interested in hearing that, actually!
One my meats ambrosia ia another mans poison. I kind of like that Frith album, (at least what I've heard of it) but isn't something I would listen to very often. The worst album I ever bought I think would have to In-ga-da-vida by Iron Butterfly <yech, ouch, etc>.
I once thought "In A Gadda Da Vida" was the greatest rock album of all time. I think this would have been for a couple of months when I was 14 years old. Fred Frith is kind of out there, close to the edge of what I can interpret as music. I really like some of the stuff he has done with Henry Kaiser. On the other hand, at his Ark appearance with Skeleton Crew, there was one point where he took a home-made guitar-like contraption; pounded nails into it; and then started filing them.
The album in question is a lot more like the latter. 18 tracks' worth..
BTW, did any of you catch the episode of "The Simpsons" where Bart was passing out sheet music at church and it turned out to be "In A Gadda Da Vida" (or as the preacher said, "In The Garden Of Eden" by I. Ron Butterfly)?
vitalogy, by pearl jam, i hate that album with a passion, my parents got it for me.. first cd i ever owned..
Actually, I think Vitalogy is pretty good. It has its bad points, though... the nonmusic tracks come immediately to mind. The problem is that half the tracks actually suck. The liner notes kinda drove me nuts, too. If you want to hear good Pearl Jam, listen to Ten. New nominations.. but not mine. My youngest sister listens to some of the most hideous music known to man.
yeah, i like ten, it's the album i don't own...ironicly. the rest of their stuff is shit..
Ten was basically the first piece of modern music I ever listened to, and it's still my favorite. I can't get tired of that album.
'Let the power fall', by Fripp. (not to be confused with Frith) Some of the most repetetive and obnoxious music I've heard in a while...
Although I really like King Crimson and Fripp's work on many people's albums and though the performance of Fripp & his League of Crafty Guitarists I saw at the Power Center 7 or 8 years ago might have been the best concert I have seen or will ever see, even I must admit that Fripp's "Frippertronics" generally bores me to tears at best... I think that describing it as "pretentious and self-indulgent" would be kind..
I guess my answer to this would be a CD called "Pick This" which I got from Tower for free, and to tell the honest truth, it was overpriced. I mean, Generators that are crossing over, and overloading sound better than this CD
My worst recordings are so old that they're probably not available anymore (fortunately). I'm not sure if I still have 'em, but if I do, my worst are probably a couple of albums by a 60's rock group called The Free Design. I believe they appeared semi-regularly on Arthur Godfrey's radio show.
mcnally--who are league of crafty guitarists? any relation to the california guitar trio? I haven't been able to find *anything* by or about either of them.
I've got a couple CDs sfrom both. "Guitar Craft" is a guitar seminar/program/system that Robert Fripp started a few year back. League of Crafty Guitarists was a p.rforming offshoot of that, and California Guitar Trio were in Guitar Craft. I think that Tower has some LoCG stuff in the Fripp bin.
Scott basically sums it up. At least two and possibly all three of the California Guitar Trio are ex-Crafties. For my money, "Invitation" by the California Guitar Trio is the best of the Crafty-Guitarist-related projects I've bought. There's also the "Robert Fripp String Quintet" which I think was basically Fripp, Trey Gunn, and the CA Guitar Trio..
It would be a lot more convenient if Fripp would stop doing these damn collaborations with everyone and confusing the hell out of me. NOt that I'm arguing.... I heard the California Guitar Trio opening for King Crimson when they were in town a while back, but haven't been able to find their stuff since. I was truly impressed, especially by some baroque-ish stuff they played. All three were playing acoustic guitars which had been electrified somehow and were *loud*. I was amazed by how rhythmic their music got, being as they had none of the traditional 'rhythm instruments', or even a bass guitar.
Working Classs Hero: A Tribute To John Lennon. One good song--Mary-Chapin Carpenter's "Grow Old With Me", and the rest are heavy metal versions of Lennon songs. Pure crap.
Hmm tough one.. . I think it's a tue between "Andy Grifith-Someone Bigger than you and I" and "Music to Moog by". The Andy Grifith was given to me by a friend who mistakenly thought it would have the theme from the Andy Griffith show on it(it's a bunch of sappy TV god songs), and Music to moog BY has all these covers of sixties and seventies pop-love somgs done on a moog. There's a cut and paste pictur on the front of it with a piture of a pink bed with lips in the middle of it and a patch bay sticking out the back., . . eek.
Any relation to the Moog Cookbook? I heard the version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" off of that a while ago. It was frightening.
I own my very own copy of "Dive" by Sarah Brightman, whom you all may know of as the woman who sang Christine in "Phantom of the Opera" on the most prolific recording of that show (the London cast). She went and did her very own album of stupid new age crap. A close second or even tie with that one is the copy of a demo made by Majesty, which was a band that later became known as Dream Theater. Dream Theater is okay, but Majesty sucked hard.
what's a moog? just thought i'd ask..
Early brand of synthesizer. "Switched on Bach" used one, it is the giant panel of knobs and wires in the album cover shot. Moog made same very cool stuff, but didn't make it into the digital world.
You can see one in the sterns collection at the Music ASchool if you're really curious, and if you look there's a HOST of bad cover records that are just the height of kitch put out with them. .
Curiously, Dick Hyman's Moog synthesizer album has just been released on CD. I assume this is part of the campaign to cash in on all sorts of 60's cheesy things.
Undoubtedly. . .I guess moogs-which used to be sold for next to nothing in flea markets-go for quite a bit these days as a result. I'm sorry I didn't pick one up when they were still cheap; I'm way into music concrete from, like, the fifties and sixties. . .
Yeah...I was over at the newish used instrument store (The store is newish, the instruments are used) in town, and they had and old Moog and an ARP Oddysey and some other crazy old stuff. Didn't check the prices, though...
Which store?
I don't actually recall the name...it's up on North Main, I belive. I may actually be imagining the whole thing :)
The store's name is Boss, katt. And I'm afraid I'm going to have to update my vote for 'worst recording' to *another* King-Crimson-related album: Thrakkatakk The idea was promising--an album of live improvisation. Having seen King Crimson perform live, and been quite impressed, I was hoping to hear something worthwhile somewhere on the album. I didn't.
It's great programming music. I don't listen when I program much though. THRAK itself got me thr a long hard weekend of programming once. :)
Fripp usually controls himself in the studio but he's completely capable of producing god-awful crap and/or phenomenally self-indulgent tripe on a bad day. Thanks for the warning about "Thrakkatakk"
Speaking of live crimson, a while ago, at the Rock and Roll hall o' fame, I looked up KingCrimson on their little touch-screen computer deals out of curiousity. Amazingly enough, it had a nice little blurb on them, which mentioned a live EP from around the time of Red and Starless. Has anyone heard of this?
The only official live Crimson releases I can recall were "USA", "Earthbound", and recent stuff like the boxed sets and live performances of the new lineup. As far as I know both USA and Earthbound were deleted from the catalog when Caroline started releasing the old Crimson stuff after JEM folded..
damn.
Ken, I know what you went through with Iron Butterfly. I went through the same thing with Boston. Gawd!! I listened to their _Don't Look Back_ album last year, for the first time in at least 10 years. Now I know why. Putrid! I look back at my taste in music, circa. 1980-84, and try not to cry. Boston, Blue-Oyster Cult, Kansas, AC/DC,Van Halen....sickening (no offense, llanarth). My days of listening to bad music are OVER (although my roomate insists that this is NOT the case, whenever I throw on an old Spyro-Gyra album).
I've got a new nomination, myself. Magnets At the Bottom of the Sea - a compilation of local punk bands. Truely painful.
I don't own it so it doesn't really qualify but I heard some amazingly awful, discordant, and pretentious music by an act called "The Shadow Ring" on WDET (or was it WCBN?) last night. Apparently they're playing a show in the area soon so if any of you are looking for the perfect setting to enhance the mood when you break up with your SO or tell your parents that you're changing your name to "La" and re-forming the Heaven's Gate sect and by the way, can you have some money for some new black Nikes then look no further than this show..
<grin>...that must be pretty bad...
Worst album I own is also one of my most prized possessions: Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits. I absolutely *cringe* to her rendition of "Downtown"...
i would love some mrs miller! the worst music i've ever owned? Lenny Dee "Hi-Fi Organ Solos with a BEAT" i actually bought the entire lenny dee collection from pj's for something like a buck & a half back in 87...lenny dee is great for waking up your housemates.
When I used to work at one store, we sold new-age music....and I managed to inherit (much to my extreme displeasure) "Pan Flutes By The Ocean". And of course it was my "Celtic Guitar" cd that had to missing and not the Pan Flute one! (sigh)
"Pan Flutes by the Ocean"? That really does sound dreadful!
My uncle gave me Hanson's Christmas album for my birthday (in January). Ugh... He used to buy me Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, the Doors, Steve Miller Band, etc, but something weird happened to him last year. Mom said he's become a Born-Again...never thought it meant I couldn't scam cool psychedelic posters and music from him anymore. ;-)
What's so f**king wrong with pan flutes?!? I like Zamfir's "Ave Maria"-- the instrument lends itself well to the piece..
I think it's the combanation of pan flutes and oceans, Jon...
Maybe you're right.
Some friends of mine recently moved to Portland, and left me with one of their prized possesions. An LP version of _We Are The World_. <shudder> Not only was everyone's voice a bit off during the session, and not only was it horrible music (if you ignore the lyrics), but -everyone's- hair was (with the possible exception of Bob Dylan) quite askew. <double shudder>
What's worse was the whole idea behind that recording.. did a handout really fix the root of the problem-- their oppressive government?
i would have to say that the worst thing i own is a tape of a death metal band called 'dark ages'. it's one of those self produced things, a little better looking than a demo tape, but not really. it is really very awful, I don't know where i got it or why i havn't used the tape for something worthwhile.
I would have to say a group called Blade Fetish...*shudder*
The worst thing I own is "Hooked on Classics." Parts of classical music turned into disco music. Ick. A close second would be the BMG Music Club's free Alternative CD. It featured bands I've never heard of and hope I never do again.
Actually, I'm still quite fond of my "Hooked on Classics" cd...:)
my mom has that cd.. I think it's just... bizarre.
It's great to throw into to the cd player and jam to while cleaning. :)
weird.
I mean the CD, not the cleaning (although, in my house, cleaning is considered weird too...)
We fall over laughing at the beginning of Ray Manzarek's recording of Carl Orff's "Carmina Burana." I don't know that this qualifies as truly bad, though; it was a noble attempt. (Manzarek was the keyboard player for The Doors, for those of you who might not recognize his name.) I bought a pre-release copy of an album by a band called SHALLOW, NORTH DAKOTA. The album title is "This Apparatus Must Be Earthed." The copy made it sound like the album might be some sort of interesting punk/roots cross, but it really does seem to be 40 minutes of undifferentiated guitar noises.
The Manzarek attempt at "Carmina Burana" is currently featured in the window at Encore (for those who aren't Ann Arbor residents, Encore is a local used-record store that keeps a display of famously bad or humorous LPs in its front window..)
(...along with, for some reason, a copy of the local band Flashpapr's latest album. I'm surprised someone from Flashpapr hasn't complained)
RE #68 Encore Recordings is also famous for putting LP's by artists who have recently died in their front window from time to time.
I don't think I own it anymore, but some time in the
late 1960s an album by a person named Van Dyke Parks
was released. I read a review of it in some magazine
that made it sound like the greatest thing since The
Beatles -- I mean, they just *raved* about it -- so I
went out and bought it. Forgettable tunes, and lyrics
consisting of verbal noodling ("free-association").
I listened to it an awful lot, thinking I must be
missing something, but whatever it was I never found
it. There was one instrumental version of "Black is
the Color of My True Love's Hair" that had a music-
box-like opening that I developed a mild liking for,
but that was about it. Anyone else ever heard of this
album?
Van Dyke Parks actually has quite a number of albums. He seems to be one of those musicians that other people and artists whose taste I usually respect rave about but that do little or nothing for me (another great example of people who fall into this category would be Captain Beefheart (or Don Van Vliet..))
Well, you can't win 'em all. There's the professional music scene, and then there's the music that is a commercial success, and then there are the musicians that make just as many shameless plugs for other artists as paid promoters and marketers do. Not all of them pick winners.
The absolute worst album I own is a Sesame Street soundtrack of sorts. It has quite a few annoying songs, and the ONLY reason I kept it was due to nostalgia. When our neighbors in the dorms would annoy us, we'd turn it up *REALLY LOUD*. =)
I have a new worst recording. Someone as a joke gave me a tape of Teletubbies stuff. Ugh!
I watched two episodes of Teletubbies last year, and as a result I can still sing, or rather hum, the Teletubbies theme song; and I've even caught myself doing so. Above there was a reference to Ray Manzarek's "Carmina Burana". I haven't heard this, but almost all the attempts I have heard by rock musicians to play classical music have been excrutiatingly bad, and that includes Emerson, Lake and Palmer's Aaron Copland, which was too painful to be funny. They haven't got the classical chops, that's the problem; and all they're doing is proving this. (One conspicuous exception is John Tout, whose Debussy is better than most people's.)
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