33 new of 47 responses total.
#14> That makes sense. I tend to hang out wiht women more than men because
I can'ts eem to understand most of the male macho things (football, car
repair, etc.). Unfortunately, because I'm bi and flirtatious, a lot of people
(men and women) seem to think that my preference for women is guided by an
unending urge to bed everyone. ={ It isn't; if it were, I'd work harder at
hanging out with guys, because I'm bi. =} *giggles*
Re #12: Actually, you seem to have misread me... Let me see if I can clear this up: the fact that in teh second half of high school most of my friends were gay men wasn't something I sought out. But what liked about it was the reasons I cited. No matter what, I would have had guys for most of my friends (more than likely, anyway), but since they were gay, none of them fell in love with me, and I accepted them as on the list of people I couldn't date, even if I wanted to. I don't know why most of my friends are men... but since I was about 14, that's simply the way my life has been-- I've gotten along better with men than with most women, though I've had some very close female friends... I don't know.
More of my friends are men, too. Shared interests? And women often seem to want to talk about how they feel about a problem, rather than finding a solution to it. I try to remember that they just want a sympathetic listener, not suggestions.
Strangely enough, a lot of my friends have been women; well, if you're talking about my age group. It's been getting a bit better now that I'm getting closer to 25 and I've been in college-- college filters out a few of the idiot guys and it's easier for me to find someone with an enlightened opinion. I dunno. It doesn't always work the other way gender-wise when it comes to homosexual folks; most lesbians always seemed scared of me. (Then again, until I start talking to people, I suppose being 6'1" and 275 lbs. doesn't help much. A good deal is muscle, too.) I remember one exception-- a lesbian I worked with in food service at Whitman. I was on a depressive swing (I'm manic-depressive) and was trying to hide so no one could see me cry. She always acted tough, but she just melted when she found me with tears rolling down my face. First woman to kindly wipe away my tears :) I've had mixed reactions with the gay guys I've met-- one was really flighty, one was really sweet, but his boyfriend was an asshole; one..uh, never mind-- don't need to talk about him.
afterthought.. it depends, I suppose. things have changed since I started making myself known..which reminds me, I gotta go-- time for the G.A.L.A. meeting
one of these days Jon, were doing Coffee...... one of these days
a nice herbal tea for me, please. Personally, I'd love to, really, if I can find the money. The university is draining me-- and so is getting married. *sigh* if only I could take time off and try to teach private lessons..not sure what I'd teach, though-- piano, maybe..not accomplished enough in classical guitar or voice to do lessons yet e-mail me about it..I will at least call you in the very near future
Re #4: That surprises you? I always thot a "fag-hag" was a hetero woman who chased after gay guys. Do you think there could be a male version that chases lesbians?
Not really..most of my sister's beards were gay or bi guys. Beards are even more of a cover, in my opinion.
I've never heard 'fag hag' applied to a woman who _chases_ gay guys, but I guess that works too. And of course there's a male version, there just isn't an insulting name for him yet.
It's generally been applied to women who *surround themselves* with
gay men. The male equivalent is a "dyke daddy".
Oh. Of course.
Women who *chase* gay guys are typically called "nuns," if the aim is to sleep with said gay guys (they're trying to convert the gays, hence "nun.")
oh. Nuns. Hrm..never heard that term.
So then guys who "chase after" lesbians would be....priests?
<sputter> <lol>
No, no, priests chase after little boys ...
ooooohhhhh..I did not need to hear that..that brings an entirely different concept to mind (;
Mmmmmmyeah.
I don'think the term "fag hag" implies anything that the user of the world would not intend it to imply. For example, in Armisted Maupin (a prominant gay writer)'s classic novel, Tales of the City, the character uses the term to describe herself to her gay friend Mouse. Furthermore, several of my female friends have described themselves as "fag hags" and see nothing wrong with the idea. It happens by default and the group you hang around...nothing psycological
There's definitely a prejorative meaning, as well, that refers to a
woman that habitually falls in love with gay men. I'd say there's something
psychological to that meaning.
I always thought it meant she attracts gay men, not is attracted to them.
woman who loves and/or hangs around gay men shrinks love it; shit load of theories <shrug> i just use the term good naturedly w/ friends (comming from a dyke daddy)
<snickers then lol>
The interesting thing is that fag hags can be straight. I can't see a dyke daddy being straight; seeing as you are bi, Beebo, I figure they see you as safe.
It depends. If you're really hanging around with diesel dykes then
a certain amount of anti-male sentiment goes with the politics, but most
lesbians in the area are usually fairly open-minded about gender. I've been
called a dyke daddy before, and I'm not, in emotion or attraction, bisexual.
sure I['m safe, yeah safe, that's it, yeah... hey doesn't hurt, i take no offence to that title and have some realy good friends <shrug> hmm beebo out
My point was I figure lesbians avoid men that will hit on them or otherwise show natural attraction. I should have said, "I wonder if a dyke daddy can be straight?" I suppose a dyke daddy can be anyone who's sympathetic to sexual preference, and is not likely to hassle a gay woman in any way. Since I live out west in a non-urban area, I don't see very much of these comfortable relations. I could safely say that most all over Washington, folks aren't exactly uptight, but they aren't comfy, either. Capitol Hill in Seattle is the only obvious place I know where it's relatively safe. When I came out to my psychiatrist before I got married, he suggested a move to Seattle.
Question: If I am friends (just friends mind you) with a large number of gay men, does that make me a fag hag?
Yup.
Not in the derogatory sense though.
Kind of like being in your thirties in a group of people in their
twenties will make you the "old man" or "old woman" - but not necessarily
actually old.
I disagree. To be a "fag hag" in my mind, you need to seek out or gravitate towards gay men. If it just happens by coincidence that most of your friends are gay, the term doesn't apply. That's my interpretation, though.
Pretty odd coincidence even if you agree with the community's ten
percent figure (moreso if you agree with Kinsey's figures).
resp:45 That's a fair interpretation, Paul, and I think that's pretty accurate.
You have several choices: