Grex Femme Conference

Item 53: Whatever happens to adolescent girls?

Entered by headdoc on Wed Feb 7 13:22:52 1996:

32 new of 74 responses total.


#43 of 74 by aruba on Mon Feb 19 14:32:00 1996:

I think Mary's "Whoosh" in #38 was about #36 going over everyone's head.
I certainly sat up and paid attention when I read it.  I agree about
consorting with assholes; if they got less attention the world would be a
better place and ultimately there would be less of them.

The problem, of course, is that many of our choices are based on emotion and
not on logic.  That's the way humans often work, and any solutions will
have to take that into account.


#44 of 74 by mta on Mon Feb 19 20:53:42 1996:

It isn't up to Aaron to "decide what's professional" ... nor is it up to me
and you.  That decision is made by professionals on the strength of the
writer's sources, reputation, and professional standing.  Whether it's fau=ir
or not, someone with several advanced degrees in psychology has more
professional standing in an argument about psychology than does a professional
journalist who has spent a year or two researching a psychological issue. 
But the journalist has all the professional standing in a discussion about
journalistic concerns.

That's how it is.


#45 of 74 by aruba on Tue Feb 20 03:42:47 1996:

Whoops, I meant #35, not #36, in #43.


#46 of 74 by chelsea on Tue Feb 20 10:35:21 1996:

Think back on some of the bigger mistakes you've made in your
life.  Where they the result of emotions run amok or more from
inexperience or poor judgement?


#47 of 74 by aruba on Tue Feb 20 14:47:47 1996:

The bigger mistakes I've made involved being very conflicted over what I
wanted.  THat is, wanting several things that were incompatible.  My emotions
don't run amok, no, but they do ultimately rule my decisions.  That's the
meaning of my being an 'F' rather than a 'T' (in Myers-Briggs terminology).

Don't misunderstand me, Mary, I agree with you that everyone should take
responsibility for their actions and inactions.  I was adressing the problem
of how to get people to make better decisions, and my point is that you can't
discount the influence of emotions.


#48 of 74 by md on Tue Feb 20 15:53:32 1996:

Re #44, I agree that's what aaron meant.  I was going to add that
Faludi is what they call a secondary source.  If you're looking
for Susan Faludi's opinions about the data, by all means read
Faludi.  But if you're looking for the data, you're better off
looking up the primary sources (Faludi's bibliography, if she
includes one, is a good place to start) and then go read them for
yourself.


#49 of 74 by beeswing on Wed Feb 21 20:49:25 1996:

Faludi does have a bibliography and does cite all of her sources, many of whom
were professionals.  I'm not sure but I think her list of sources runs about
7 pages.


#50 of 74 by mta on Thu Feb 22 18:53:14 1996:

My worst decisions were basedon allowing my emotions to rule when I didn't
have the experience and good judgement to know what the likely outcome would
be of those decisions.  

I still allow my emotions to make my decisions for me ... I've always done
better with gut instinct than with trying to think things out.  But since my
gut insticts are now informed with a certain amount of experience and the
judgement that brings ... my decisions have gotten better.

Make sense?  *sigh* I didn't think so.


#51 of 74 by beeswing on Thu Feb 22 23:02:06 1996:

That totally makes sense! I am gearing up for the illustrious post-college
job search (I graduate in May). I can't decide if I want to move away or no.
I have lived in one place all my life, though I have traveled a lot. Part of
me wants a change of scenery, new people, etc. The other part is afraid of
homesickness, living alone, not making friends or disliking my job. And I am
seeing how small the jobs are and am plain terrifies I wont' find one at all,
at least not one that will let me live on my own without having to eat Beanie
Weenies every night for  years. The decision to move is an emotion-based one
so far... if I feel restless I want to move. If I'm feeling comfy I don't want
to. And I have found emotions can be very false. Sigh.


#52 of 74 by iggy on Sat Feb 24 13:38:04 1996:

store-brand macaroni and cheese is also pretty cheap, as is
ramen noodles....
er... as ARE ramen noodles


#53 of 74 by beeswing on Sat Feb 24 16:24:01 1996:

Mmmm, ramen noodles.


#54 of 74 by gracel on Sat Mar 16 05:02:53 1996:

As I entered adolescence it began to matter to me that I had never
jparticularly known "who I was", but the rest of the picture doesn't
fit the females of my family.  It's an impressionable time, but those
things weren't impressed onus at home & I didn't find them attractive
elsewhere.  I would have liked to be thinner (like my big sister, who
was smaller all around) but it didn't matter enough to starve myself.
Maybe if we had been watching TV and movies and reading "adolescent"
magazines, we would have become more typical.


#55 of 74 by beeswing on Fri Mar 22 05:42:41 1996:

This response has been erased.



#56 of 74 by abchan on Fri Mar 22 22:41:02 1996:

This response has been erased.



#57 of 74 by beeswing on Sat Mar 23 05:27:05 1996:

True, abchan. I swear I knew every calorie/fat content of everything in high
school. I now have better, more imprtant things to think about.


#58 of 74 by popcorn on Sun Mar 24 05:05:45 1996:

This response has been erased.



#59 of 74 by mcpoz on Sun Mar 24 12:09:29 1996:

Wow, that must really be limiting to her.  Is she young (1st job?).  My gut
feel would be to match each apology with something like "Please don't
apologize so much. . . "  or something like that.  Even if it gets to be a
burden to repeat.  


#60 of 74 by popcorn on Sun Mar 24 13:19:07 1996:

This response has been erased.



#61 of 74 by beeswing on Sun Mar 24 18:42:54 1996:

She sounds totally insecure. I have a friend like that who apologizes all the
time too. It gets old, quick. Even if it's not her fault (whatever it is she
is aplogizing for). When we went of any kind of trips in high school with
groups, someone would always get in trouble/break something in the hotel...
she of course never did these things, but would offer to take the blame.
People take advantage of her selflessness a lot.


#62 of 74 by otter on Mon May 10 00:59:47 1999:

?


#63 of 74 by beeswing on Mon May 10 03:42:21 1999:

Ohhh dear God. I reread some of my postings. My views haven't changed 
much, but... what alien entered my body to post such ranting? My bad! :)


#64 of 74 by scott on Mon May 10 11:06:38 1999:

(I think the appearance of an item with no new responses is a Backtalk
artifact)


#65 of 74 by otter on Tue May 11 22:22:53 1999:

Thanks, Scott. I was cornfused.


#66 of 74 by remmers on Fri May 14 10:53:55 1999:

Re resp:63 - Hm, I was looking forward to re-reading all the awful stuff
you posted, but you seem to have erased it....  :)


#67 of 74 by md on Fri May 14 13:29:30 1999:

'sokay, you can still read the awful stuff I
posted, which sometimes quotes the
awful stuff she posted.  A nice dose of
offal, either way.


#68 of 74 by beeswing on Fri May 14 18:17:21 1999:

::sigh::

i'm sure i was on some sort of medication. 

carry on.


#69 of 74 by gypsi on Fri May 14 22:19:45 1999:

Well, this was also three years ago.  My views on the world have changed eight
hundred zillion times in that span, so I assume yours have too.  


#70 of 74 by remmers on Fri May 14 23:09:07 1999:

At my age, three years is nothing. I'm sure that I still hold any
incorrect views that I held three years ago.


#71 of 74 by mary on Sat May 15 00:31:28 1999:

All of the censored stuff is still readable.  Simply

!tail -250 /bbs/censored



#72 of 74 by gypsi on Sat May 15 01:54:04 1999:

<lol at #70>


#73 of 74 by beeswing on Sat May 15 18:18:37 1999:

They haven't changed, as much as I've changed how I convey them. 

Though anyone who would make a point to uncover  it all has too much 
time on their hands.


#74 of 74 by clees on Fri Jun 4 10:27:20 1999:

Views grow and develop over the years. As time goes by, the basics of values
and views you got don0t seem to change much, but they do (to a certain extent,
and for some people further than for others).
The essence of these values and views will still be intact.
At least, it works that way with my views.


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