80 new of 160 responses total.
I guess so. I'll cut and paste stuff from there here now and again...when I think about it. Last night I watched a documentary about Lustron Homes http://www.lustron.org . This was especially interesting to me because I used to live in a Lustron house. It was a really cool house too. It is currently over 50 years old and still has the original roof and siding. It has never even needed to be painted. Talk about low maintenance! All the interior walls and doors are made of metal. It had all kinds of cool built ins like shelves and such. Metal cabinets in the kitchen and steel counter tops. Everything in this house was durable as could be. The only draw back it had was that in the summer, the house didnt breathe well so the humidity would collect inside and make the carpets dampish and slightly mildewy. Central air would have solved that problem but we were just renting. We solved the problem by always making sure we left the windows open and fans running. I have a lot of personal memories of the place which I have with every place I have lived. This was the first place I moved after I got back from college in the Sault. I worked for minimum wage at a pet store and rented this house with my friend Debbie and her first husband Jeff. We were so poor. After we paid our rent, we barely had money left over for other things. We used to go to Sam's Club to buy bulk noodles and sauce which we would eat every day. I was in the best shape I have ever been because I didnt even have bus fare in my budget so I started riding my bike to work. We were so poor that we didnt have much money for entertainment. Because all the walls of the house were metal, everyone gave us magnets for housewarming presents. We used to take those alphabet magnets and write weird poetry on the walls for fun. I wish I had taken some pictures of that but things like film and developing werent in my budget then. I dont think I have a single picture of that house. But, since there are so many just like it, I guess I dont really need one. It's kind of charming in an ugly sort of way.
I went to the local Howard Dean Meetup last night. It was pretty cool. I didnt get to meet too many people because I am kind of shy. But, I did sign up for a lot of things. I feel really energized by this campaign. I am going to hand write letters and make phone calls from my home. I am going to go out and pass out flyers. I am going to have people over to my house for a "House Call". The only thing I didnt sign up for was to pass out literature on the caucus day because I have already volunteered to pass out literature on that day for a guy I know who is running for county clerk. I am so glad that I decided to work for this. This is the first time in a long time that I havent felt politically helpless. Even if he loses, I will be able to hold my head high and know that at least I worked to change things and worked for what I believe in.
Hmmm. I think I will use this place to write about some of my personal feelings about this whole business with the M-net "agora" parody. It seems appropriate to talk about such things here. While my comments in the one particular item involving valerie really honestly were not made in a mean spirited way, there are other comments in that conference that are somewhat mean spirited. I have been engaging in some intraspection about why I would find such things funny and just what is the difference between the parody posts of people I like and those of people I dont like. I admittedly parodied valerie a lot there. I also have parodied keesan a lot too. But they are two people I really like and respect. In fact, in those two particular cases, the traits I parodied are the very traits I like *most* about them. This is especially true with keesan. Her personality is so unique and interesting and while she does seem to obsess over certain details, I am always impressed with just how very functional her life is. In some ways I envy her and wish I could be more like her (although most of the time I am pretty happy to be like me). This business has had me thinking a lot about a certain friend of mine named Terry. He has one of the best dry sarcastic senses of humor of anyone I know. When he mocks someone it is really funny. He could be a professional comedian. But, when I first met him and he mocked me, it did hurt my feelings. I had forgotten that. It hurt my feelings because I thought it meant he didnt like me. Later on, when I realized that he did like me I grew to like the way he mocked me. On my very first backpacking trip (which was in November), I had over done it. I had blisters on my feet. I was cold. I had slipped in the mud and pulled a muscle in my leg that hurt so bad, I could barely walk. Late in the day we came to a part of the trail with a huge hill. I honestly didnt think I would make it up the hill. I started to cry. First Terry mocked my crying. Then he ran up the hill and started singing "Everybody Hurts" by REM. So, instead of crying, I soon realized I was laughing. I joked about how I was going to climb that hill just to punch him in the nose. We both laughed. I climbed the hill. Anyhow, that is just a memory that has come back to me because of all this business. Mostly because last September, I went to a wedding of a person who also knows Terry and he and I spent almost an hour mocking Terry and making fun of him even though he wasnt there. It wasnt mean spirited at all but was rather a way of us dealing with his absence at this function and how we all missed him a lot (he moved to Hawaii about 3 years ago). But, in that conference I also made fun of people I dont like or where angry with at the time. That was mean spirited. It is no secret, for instance, that I really dont like russ. He is just one of the most horrible people I have ever met. But he is *really* fun to make fun of. Whenever I have parodied him, it was more cutting than other things. Mostly because I'm usually making fun of traits I dont like about him. Even when I was making fun of his very few endearing qualities, it was always done in a mean way. The thing I have to admit is that while I am sorry that valerie's feelings have been hurt, I really dont care about his feelings. I really dont. In his case, I realize that he could read those items and think "Oh, I feel bad" and I wouldnt care. And even though like most other people, I want to be liked, I dont really care about his opinion so if he were to think, "Oh that Lynne is such a bitch", that wouldnt bother me either. *shrug* I have more thoughts about this but I am running out of time for the moment. I'll post more later.
I can understand the difference between teasing someone affectonately and doing it because you're mad -- and it's one of the things that I think made me the most unhappy -- while I don't *know* if I'm one of the people you don't like, I don't feel like I'm good enough frends with anyone in that cf. for them to have been doing it affectionately. (The only person I really really know who was in that cf. was seldon, and he's not a very close friend. Everyone else is someone online who I know a little bit.) And I certainly think that the stuff about Bruce was mean and meant that way. Now, I understand that he's not someone a lot of people like or understand, but I happen to be somone who loves him and it makes me angry that people read him wrong (because he is not good at expressing things on line, not really, and he's much more emphatic than he means to be...) and the things that were said on agora were so very wrong about him. End of that, though.
Honestly, you are not one of the people I dont like. But Bruce is (although it isnt like I *hate* him, he just rubs me the wrong way sometimes). I will admit that sometimes his politics piss me off. I havent bothered to reread everything I have written in that conference but probably some of the parody of Bruce was mean spirited on my part especially if I was mocking a post that had made me angry in the first place. I can understand that it would make you angry that people read him wrong. I have some people in my life who I love very much who often are read wrong and disliked. Or at least that is how I feel (that they have been read wrong) so I do understand where you are coming from. When that happens, I just try to remember all the reasons why *I* love that person because that is all that matters anyway.
It is unfortunate when someone chooses to engage in a debate in a medium in which he or she are incapable of properly expressing him- or herself. However, if he or she makes that choice, then he or she takes responsibility for that shortcoming and must be prepared for the response it generates. If the result is that said person throws things into the discussion and then fails to support or otherwise follow them up, said person has to expect to be treated as someone who is not interested and/or capable of carrying on a discussion and valdating the points he or she tries to make. That pretty much defines a failure in this context. When someone persists in an endeavor in which they are plainly incompetent, they cannot expect to win much respect from other participants in the endeavor.
Oh, I understand that well, which is why I don't normally say much when people argue with Bruce here on grex. If he can't debate it well, I'm not going to do it for him (and I'm already far too identified with him in some people's minds -- I AM different and hold my own opinions, which are definitely not his in many cases). But it still pisses me off to see things which I said which no one argued with parodied -- slynne, the one that I recall that involved you was a bummed item in which I mentioned that I'd been caught in game traffic. I wasn't doing it to show "oooh, I'm so superior that I live in Ann Arbor". It was more of a ticked thing that my friend and I had misjudged it, and that she'd gotten her car dinged (because it was right after she'd been in a traffic accident and had to have her car totalled, so she was PARANOID and blamed me for not knowing when the game started). Maybe it was a convenient jumping off point for parodying a person who is superior about living here, but I'm not that person and I didn't enjoy being used as the straw man in that case. I say "briarworld" because all the people at work do -- maybe it's precious, but it's a habit picked up from them.
Ok. I found that post. That was one where the target was really a more general Ann Arbor like attitude about football games that I have noticed in other people and perhaps saw (or thought I saw) in your original post. I dont remember exactly what I was thinking though. I either saw some snobbishness (falsely apparently) or saw something that was funny because even though it wasnt coming from a place of snobbishness, could easily be twisted to fit such a thing. FWIW, I dont generally think of you as an Ann Arbor snob. I am sorry that youre angry but I cant really say that I am sorry I posted that. I still think it is kind of funny, actually (the post you mention, not that you are angry about it) but not so much because it is a parody of *you* but because I have blended you with this very real attitude that I see in a lot of people who live in Ann Arbor. I think that kind of pretentiousness is comical.
Oh, and I will remember that you dont like this sort of thing and will take that into consideration in the future.
Thanks. That does help. I don't plan on going back to m-net often (if at all) so I won't likely know what's going on there. As for finding things funny, that is a good choice for a quote. "De gustibus non est disputandem" -- "about taste, there is no disputing" Or, what I think is hilarious is not your cup of tea, and vice versa. As I said elsewhere, if it was kept to those people who appreciate it, I wouldn't have found it funny, but I wouldn't have cared, either. It only became upsetting when people who WERE hurt by it were told about it. Your post wasn't that bad, in the scheme of things, truly, compared to some.
Ok. So some other thoughts about the some of the mean spirited comments in that conference. I do use mean humor when I am angry. It helps me deal with the anger. Sometimes I am reluctant to address someone directly when a topic makes me angry. There are a number of reasons for this ranging from a desire to avoid confrontation to a desire to get out my feelings without derailing an active item with a total pissing contest. Of course, I am not immune from doing that but there have been times when I have been angry and decided to go make fun of someone either in Mnet's flame conference or Mnet's agora conference because it seemed better than expressing my anger more directly. This is because expressing anger in a funny way is a method I use to make myself not angry anymore. If I can laugh at something or someone, I usually stop feeling angry. If there werent those conferences, I would probably be doing the parody anyway but in email with folks. In fact, I *do* parody people in email when I think it is too nasty to post in a public place. This is a coping mechanism that has served me well for all of my life. I dont think I am going to abandon it. Also, being angry with someone is different from disliking them. I have done mean parodies of people I love when they have made me angry.
resp:83 I remember when one of the canuckleheads turned me on to reading the agora parody and I found myself lampooned. I was a little upset that some things were grossly distorted. I tried to be a sport and laugh along for a while, but then I got fed up with agora itself. So I read neither. I decided to be a little more selective in what I choose to write to Grex-- apparently, it's changed a lot. People will choose to interpret things as they will, so only I can control what I choose to say. I'm not sure what to think. I know a lot of people think parody/satire/lampoon is funny, but sometimes stop laughing once the joke is about them. Or have this thing about ownership-- "sure X/Y/Z jokes are funny, because I'm X/Y/Z." Not sure. How could I ever describe myself, really? I can never present a true picture to anyone... I could say I'm an INFJ (leaning on the P side) on a Meyers-Briggs test and that might say something to some people, but then it might not.
It is true that people often stop laughing when the joke is on them. I have even felt hurt if a parody has hit too close to home. I am selective about what I post here but not really because I am afraid someone will make fun of me. It is more because it is a public place and I tend to put forth a public face.
Then you see what I mean.
Which isnt to say that I believe that grex is all pixels on a screen or that I put forth a false me. I have noticed that sometimes people seem to treat grex like some kind of therapy group rather than something like a party. I used to participate in a therapy group and I shared very personal things in that context but that was because I trusted the other people in the group and because there were clear rules about how group members were to treat what was said there. I think I pretty much present myself here the same way I do in real life if I were at a party with people I didnt know too well.
Ah, I don't go to parties with people I don't know too well. (My social life revolves around a pretty small group, so I tend to expect things to be, hmmm, intimate.) This is turning out to be a very interesting look at how different people view this system and life in general. I don't mind teasing, but only by people I know very well (at work for example, Andy at the desk beside mine teases me, but I've known him for nineteen years and it's never beyond comfortable bounds -- and fairly pc, because it's at work.)
I cant fault anyone for being surprised about the different outlooks that people have about bbs conferencing and life in general. And even though janc says that anyone who couldnt anticipate valerie's reaction to the parody item is stupid, I really was surprised by it. I guess I as guilty of expecting others to have similar views about such things as anyone else is around here.
I want to share my thoughts about a recent post valerie made in coop conference... #1 of 1 by Valerie Mates (valerie) on Sat Jan 10 01:50:20 2004: Some people have asked me why I deleted my old postings everywhere on Grex. I deleted my old postings because of things that were said on M-Net, not out of any desire to hurt Grex. On M-Net, they insist that anything that is posted on Grex (or on M-Net, or anyplace else on the Internet) is an open invitation to other people to use it in parodies on M-Net. I do not wish to be parodied, and I do not wish to have my words re-used by other people in any other way. So I am removing my words in order to rescind an invitation that I had never intended to extend. I do not wish to participate in M-Net's parody game, and if the only way to opt out is removing myself from Grex, well, I think it's really sad to have to do that, but so be it. I shared the program that I wrote that lets people delete all of their responses because other people had expressed the desire to remove their words for the same reason.
Ok. This post reminded me of something from the baby diary. valerie said some mean things about a woman who was supposed to be Arlo's teacher this year but quit just before the school year started. By cooincidence I happen to know this woman and while I am not close to her now, I was at one time. I wasnt sure how I felt about that. naturally, valerie has a right to write about her life and her thoughts and feelings about things even if those thoughts are not too pleasant thoughts about someone I know. Did my friend give valerie permission to be discussed in a negative way with a wide audience on a bbs system? In a sense, I have to say that she did. All of do. If I drive like an asshole on my way to work and cut someone off and then flip them off, they may mention that to people they know. They might blog about it someplace. They might even make fun of me. If I happened to do such a thing to someone I know, they might even identify me when they make fun of me or say negative things about me. I respect valerie's decision to remove her postings from grex even though I personally believe it is a huge over-reaction. Just like I would believe a person has a right to shut themselves inside their house with the shades drawn in order to avoid any chance of anyone making negative comments about them online somewhere. Still, that doesnt seem like a healthy attitude at all. Well at least not if it goes on for a long time. As a short term response to being very hurt, I suppose it could be beneficial.
resp:95 It's really ironic-- the recovery cf is really slow and relatively unrevealing in some ways... and yet agora can be quite lively and very revealing in others. "Therapy group instead of a party." Interesting. I think the thing is that people might forget that this *is* a party, which anyone can join at *any* time, and not a therapy group that is closed. I was saying in coop that maybe a listserv group would fit such a latter need better. But... maybe people forget. I'm not sure what Grex is to its users. It's not exactly impersonal; some may really feel some trust and sense of community, especially if they've met others in person. But you have the realities of how vulnerable information can be out in cyberspace. I'll admit I haven't always been very sensitive to just how real that can be.
No, it is not impersonal. I feel like I trust most people here. And to be honest, the few people I dont trust I dont care about. I do feel a sense of community too. I have a lot of friends I trust and feel connected to too. But I dont always share my deepest most innermost thoughts with them. I reserve those for my closest friends or my handwritten diary. Oddly, I really believe that using a medium like this as a sort of therapy could be useful. I know that I find writing about my problems to be particularly cathartic. It is just that doesnt fit with the idea of open access. If you are going to let *anyone* come in, well...*anyone* can come in. jep's divorce items were obviously very useful to him. They were useful to me too in ways I am not going to share in an open forum. However, he said things that could hurt him if certain people ever became aware of them. It was not only possible that those people would read the items, it was likely.
I talked for a long time with one of my closest friends yesterday and mentioned some of my thoughts to her. She had some interesting things to say about teasing. She really wants to raise her son to be caring and empathetic and all of those things mothers often want their sons to be. But she also wants him to be resiliant to the inevitable teasing that all kids experience. She isnt sure exactly how to go about that. Personally, I am not too worried about it since she is very caring and empathetic and loving and secure. I have a feeling she will raise a child who has some similar qualities just by being herself.
There is a very interesting article in today's New York Times magazine about blogging and how some people view it. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/01/11/magazine/11BLOG.html I thought this bit was interesting: "The new forms of communication are madly contradictory: anonymous, but traceable; instantaneous, then saved forever (unless deleted in a snit). In such an unstable environment, it's no wonder that distinctions between healthy candor and ''too much information'' are in flux and that so many find themselves helplessly confessing, as if a generation were given a massive technological truth serum."
I will have to look at that article. Interesting. I think that this itme is helping me figure out what I expected and wanted from Grex, and which wasn't clear before, in a way... Thank you slynne, for pointing me to it. I think that I was definitely seeing it as a rather intimate group whose members I knew (the people who always post in agora, for example), some in person, and some as personalities on the screen. I've never had any trouble feeling close to people who are abstract on a screen (my friends johlt and micklpickl are two very close friends whom I've met in person only after a lot of online talk and who live very far away). But in the same breath, I also felt that it was somewhat anonymous -- those people who I'd never met wouldn't know me from Adam if I did meet them, so it was more okay to talk about things that I wouldn't want to talk about to people I'd have to see and know they knew this about me. Hmmm. This is very interesting and very contradictory. Feeling free to state something somewhat intimate (such as my feelings about Rhiannon's pregnancy) because (a) I trusted that the people I *did* know in real life would not betray my confidences and (b) I trusted that the people I didn't know would either not care or wouldn 't bother to track down the person who said that. And as I have mentioned in coop, I really didn't realize that every keystroke or entry on Grex was archived "forever". I thought that they would be erased at some point, because once an item has been not responded to in a while, it's pretty much useless imho. It felt like a living conversation, not a dead archive. I felt safe saying things assuming that they would go away eventually. And I also think I didn't realize that Grex is more than the logins that I always see posting in agora -- there are always the same several people who do, and I think I unconsciously came to the conclusion that those were really the only people who read what I was saying. I hope that this is clearer to you than it is to me. I'm writing out what I'm thinking and seeing it for the first time as I type. So it's somewhat incoherent.
I find that to be the case a lot of the time. I mean I have written about people in my real life online here and felt safe about it because they dont read this and I dont expect anyone here knows them. But, I still do it with the knowledge that what I write could be found by them or repeated to them. It is hard to explain but I figure if that happens, I'll explain what I was thinking when I wrote whatever I did. Mostly, I am not so much concerned that they will be upset by what I wrote. It is more that I have a way of embellishing stories or remembering things inaccurately. I always get the general gist of things but sometimes the details are wrong.
And I'm not terribly upset by most of what I've said online. Some of it was written in moments of frustration and I wish I could scribble that, since it's just stupid now. But oh well.
A New Bed. A New Beginning? Last Sunday, I had dinner at my aunt and uncle's house. They mentioned that they were getting rid of a mattress and box spring and asked me if I wanted it. I did. They were very nice and even lent their minivan to me so I could move it. My parents were very nice and helped me with the moving (it was heavier than I would have thought). So now I have a "real bed". Well, it is really just a mattress and box spring sitting on the floor but it is more conventional than the futon. This bed, while very comfortable, is kind of weird. I have been sleeping on a futon pretty much all the time since I was a teenager. There were the waterbed years too but I never really liked that thing. That kind of makes me laugh. I guess because I have missed the whole get married and have kids thing, there are areas of my life where I havent grown up. Ok, I *still* have milk crate furniture which was all the rage when I was in college. Oddly, the milk crate furniture itself doesnt bother me. It is the idea that some part of me has resisted growing up. Of course, maybe this is normal. In every important way I have matured and grown. Having a milkcrate for a nightstand and a futon for a bed really doesnt mean anything. Right? So now I have a new bed. I feel that much more adult. I like it. http://lynne.tblog.com/
Be careful, Lynne. Not too long after people get real beds they start taking care of their weeds and overgrown yards. Be afraid. ;-)
uh-oh
resp:101 Ok, I can go with that. resp:105 Sure, even if they aren't likely to read it, better to plan on the possibility they might. resp:108 I didn't get either of those, but I think I am getting other things. LOL This is reminding me of hand-me downs from the parents, actually. They moved into a new house some months ago and some of the things we got were some stuff for the bed. Headboard, footboard, skirt, some nicer sheets, and comforter... I suppose it was an upgrade of sorts. Also a long way from my single days five years back (I think) when I had a mattress and box spring on the floor.
Oh well, I guess I am counting the mattress and box spring on the floor as "a real bed" ;)
oh man apparently I have never lived! hide a beds and futons have only been very temporary arrangements-- you know, staying with folks, in-laws, stuff like that. You have got to describe this milk crate furniture a little more to me because I am having trouble visualizing it. Hmmm... this is totally off the subject some, but my sister in San Jose and her husband figured out how to take my folks' old floor TV and set an aquarium where the cathode tube was-- sealed the glass in and everything. I've only seen a crappy picture and I'm dying to see it one day in person.
The milk crate furniture is just two milk crates with a board over them to make a table of sorts.
I'd like to say that I live my life very much out in the open, but obviously that isn't true. I filter a great deal of what I say, depending on the situation. The best example is that I never mentioned I was having gastric bypass until after I had had it . . .especially on m-net. When you are making a huge change in your life that is considered controversial, the last thing needed is some pubescent punk giving you smack.
Heh. I can totally understand that. What is funny is that people were so upset about the M-net agora conference being something that was going on "behind their backs" while it is the more in your face conversation disrupting stuff that bothers me more. I mean, if I were to discuss something online here and someone wanted to make fun of me about it. I would much prefer it if they did it out of the way where I could choose not to have to deal with their Beevis and Butthead like comments ;) "She said 'butt' huh huh huh huh" ;)
Exactly-- it's why I chose to leave agora-- comments were starting to get mean. It's one thing if people want to parody me-- and that *is* parody. But when someone decided to make fun in what I thought was a mean way of a time I was trying to get a job... and by the way, they (the employer) decided to screw me over and not tell me about it (I hate it when people can't be straight with me). So, it was time to leave.
That wasn't very clear. I was being made fun of in agora, to my face. So... I left.
That is exactly what I would do if I felt that the jokes were too mean.
I just filter what I post. I still want to play in the game, I just don't want to wear a target on my back.
Howard Dean "House Call" It has been so long since I have really been social. I had forgotten how much work it can be. It is a little frustrating too. My friends, who used to go out looking for parties now seem to need to be dragged to them. I am really missing the days when all you had to do was say that there was a party on a certain night and folks would just show up. Of course, those parties usually had really drunk people who broke things while now things are a bit more tame at Casa Fremont. I am having a Howard Dean "house call" thing on Saturday. I have invited over 50 people so far. Only one person has confirmed that they are coming. I have 6 strong maybes and about 3 weak ones. I'll be happy if 6 people show up because I know that those 6 strong maybes can mean that the folks wont show up if they are feeling tired or cranky or whatever. Such is life, I suppose. :) I have to say that just calling people has been good for me. I mean, suddenly I have a reason to call folks I havent seen in a while. Sometimes for several months. We end up talking and talking which is good. There is a reason these folks are my friends. They are easy to talk to. Most of them I have known since high school so we have a lot of history. And then, small town gossip type stuff too. In fact, I was kind of bumming because I called one friend of mine who had some very interesting things going on. I had already called another friend of mine just before that and while she had some news about herself and some other folks, it wasnt nearly as filled with drama as this other stuff which involved a psychotic ex girlfriend screaming in my friend's front lawn. I know the first friend would have loved hearing that story. Oh well, I guess that just means that if both of them show up on Saturday, the friend with the crazy lady screaming in her front lawn can tell the other friend all about it herself. First hand accounts are better anyways. :) http://lynne.tblog.com
resp:119 What I had said about my job was fairly benign, so the joking did seem mean-spirited. Not sure what there was to filter, so... bye. It's one thing when I say something that I can see in hindsight might look bad. I didn't see it in that instance. resp:120 I hear so much about the Dean campaign that seems encouraging... lots of grassroots work and such. I'm not fond of Bush, but I don't think I could lean left enough to support him. *shrug* Elections always give me a feeling of ambivalence... the parties do play to their respective loyalties, left or right, and then butter up to the middle. Clinton was supposedly moderate, but even before his scandal, back before he got elected, he kinda scared me. Anyway, political parties do seem to be retreating more to the left and the right... and where I remain fiercely Independent and can seem to dice myself anyway but moderate, it makes vote decisions hard.
Do you still vote, though?
Sadly, I have not voted for a while. Apathy looms. Not a good excuse, however-- I need to know the issues and vote on as much as I can. Local stuff is easier, but again, anything that has a political party stamped on it tends to give me that itchy feeling.
My personal philosophy is that if you don't vote, you dont' get to complain. Dave doesn't vote - I don't recycle. I'm going to try and recycle, while I'd like it if he votes, he doesn't complain and he doesn't give me smack about it.
Yeah. I get a little annoyed when someone gets upset about the results of an election they didnt vote in. But, I have to admit that there have been elections/primaries where I didnt care about the outcome so I skipped voting.
I always vote. I do my best to educate myself about the issues, and I vote in every election I am eligible to do it in. If we all did, maybe it would be a better world.
Twila, you are so right you scare me. Let's take on the world and get rid of the electoral college!
I had to cancel my Howard Dean party. It started snowing in the morning so a lot of people called to cancel. The roads were really bad when I went to the store at 3 o'clock. But of course, as soon as I cancelled the event, it stopped snowing and the plows came through and the roads were fine. *DOH* Oh well. A couple of folks showed up anyways and we had fun sitting around, drinking beers, and talking about why Howard Dean is the candidate for us. It was fun. When I went out to the store on Saturday, UPS delivered a package to my house. It was an automatic kitty litter box!. The return address was some company in Canada. There was no note or anything inside that indicated who it was from. Weird. I think it was probably Aaron who ordered it but he is out of town so I cant ask him. I have been talking about getting one of these things with him. But I have been talking to other friends too about my dislike for changing the litter. Heh. Well, I am very happy with it and really thankful that I have a friend who is thoughtful enough to send me something like this. I am going to get it all set up tomorrow. Woo Hoo. No more cat box cleaning :) Last Friday, I got to visit my friend Andee who just had a new baby. Boy is he cute! It was really nice to visit her. She is awesome. We had lunch and then we sat around and talked all afternoon. We played with the baby although he doesnt really do much except lay on the floor and look at stuff and smile sometimes. He sure needed a lot of attention though. Whew. Maybe it is just as well that I dont have kids.
Sometimes I have a little bit of writer's block. I hate that. It is funny because sometimes I just feel like I want to run to my blog (http://lynne.tblog.com) and write and write and then other times...nothing. And then I ask myself, "Do I *really* have nothing to say today? Really?" Naturally, I usually have something I could say even when I dont have anything I need to say. So? Here are just some thoughts in no particular order of importance to me... I was surprised that Kerry did so well in Iowa. I dont think Dean's speech was as bad as the media is making it out to be. It certainly hasnt changed my feelings about him as a candidate. I dont care a lot for Kerry but I dont hate him or anything. I dont think he will get the nomination. I was happy to see Edwards did so well. There is something about him that I really like but I have not really been able to put my finger on it. Maybe it is just that he seems nice. Naturally Dean is my first choice for the nomination but I wont cry into my oatmeal if Edwards gets it. I have been watching a lot of foreign movies lately. I have been very disappointed with the lack of movies from Russia. I have found that I dont like most of the Soviet era ones and there just arent that many more recent ones. I hope that changes. When it comes to foreign movies, I like the French ones the best and the British ones the second best. I dont know what that means. Part of my job is to write techincal documents. Everyone on my team has a yearly goal. Our fiscal year ends on the 31st and that is usually our deadline for completing our goals. I am annoyed because on Friday, I was sent an email informing me that the deadline for completing these technical documents is Jan 21. It seems kind of smarmy to me to change the deadline like that with only a few days notice. Oh well. I have already turned in enough documents to meet my goal but not enough to exceed it. I've exceeded every other goal I was given, though. I am sure my review will be a good one and hopefully I will get a nice raise.
I saw some news commentary on the Democratic turnouts and wondered what the reaction would be from those that supported Dean... I mean, I don't think the media has made much comment yet that I can see.
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/01/21/nyregion/21hit.html?pagewanted=1 I have always been really interested in human behavior. I think that is why I have pretty much liked most of the social sciences: anthropology, economics, sociology, psychology, etc. As many of my friends will tell you, I do the arm chair psychologist thing a *lot* ;) I have worked with the mentally ill and even now, I kick around the idea of getting an MSW (in like 20 years after I finish this undergrad degree haw!). I dont find that I am often surprised by what people do. And yet, this morning when I read about a woman who was apparently run over three times by hit and run drivers, I found myself wondering how that could happen. I have made up all kinds of situations about the motivations of the drivers. Maybe they were drunk or had arrest warrants or had some other reason not to want to come into contact with the police. Maybe they were more concerned with their own welfare than that of someone else. It is possible that they didnt notice although that seems unlikely. I mean, I seen the damage to a car after it hits a deer about the size of an adult human woman. If they hit this woman and didnt notice, there is something really wrong with them. All of this makes me wonder if there is something that I can do as an individual to help prevent something like this? Is there something I can do to encourage others to have compassion for their neighbors? Is there something I can do to encourage some feeling of community responsibility in people? I have a friend who thinks that the answer is to spread kindness around. That people who are treated with kindness are more likely to treat others with kindness. Obviously this is not some new or original concept. I dont know if it has merit. I have never heard of any studies that show that treating a person with kindness results in them treating others that way. However, I think that it cant hurt. So I am going to go out of my way to be kind to the people I come into contact with.
My Ypsilanti Howard Dean Adventure: Yesterday, I volunteered to help do a "lit drop" for the Howard Dean campaign. I walked door to door and dropped off campaign literature. I knocked on everyone's doors and talked to those people who answered. It was really cool. The neighborhood in Ypsilanti where I was doing this isnt my neighborhood but one I used to live in. I had really wanted to buy a house in this neighborhood but found I couldnt afford one. Figures. But, walking around and meeting the folks who live there kind of made me wish I *had* bought a house there although when I think about it, the things I like about this neighborhood are the same things I like about the neighborhood where I live. I was really impressed by the diversity of this place. There were people of all ages and backgrounds and ethnicity living in this place. There were kind people who invited me into their homes to warm up and rude people who slammed the door on my face. There were a lot of Dean supporters and a lot of supporters of other candidates. Also a few Republicans. What impressed me most about this neighborhood was how active everyone seemed to be in the process. There were lawn signs up all over the place. Political signs in the windows. Most people I talked too either had a very informed opinion already or asked me a lot of questions about Howard Dean. One guy (a Bush supporter) even told me that even though there was no way in a million years he would vote for Dean, he was really happy to see young people like me taking an interest in politics. (I dont know how young he thought I was, he didnt look over 40 and I am 35. Maybe that new moisterizer wrinkle reducer cream really works...hmmmm). It was a very positive experience for me. I am so happy that I decided to get more involved with things.
Some monday morning thoughts about channel flipping and football... Aaron came over last night just to hang out. He has a habit of switching channels a lot rather than watching just one thing. A lot of people seem to do this. I have never really understood it. Whenever I am watching something on one channel, unless it is bad, I dont sit there wondering if there is something I want to watch more on another channel. In fact, since I often check tv programming guides before I start watching, I usually already know what is on the other channels. So what is the facination with channel hopping? I will admit, though, that if it werent for Aaron's channel switching, I wouldnt have seen any of the Super Bowl and even though I am not the world's biggest football fan, it actually was a really good game. It was also nice to have Aaron there because he actually knows the football rules so I was able to ask him a lot of questions. Usually, I dont like pro football because the players are so good, they make it look easy. I *know* it isnt easy but that doesnt normally make it more exciting to watch. I tend to find college ball much more interesting even though the players arent as good. But, that game last night was really really interesting. Very exciting too! Especially the ending. Holy cow! Talk about racing the clock. I was on the edge of my seat. It was fun. I even found it interesting even though I was rooting for either team especially. Yup, it was just one of those games that was good just because it was a good game.
Channel surfing. LOL Boy, I hardly think about it, now, and yet I remember days of TV without a remote, when I just sat through bad commercials or whatnot. Sometimes people flip because TV is just not really great but they don't want to turn it off. But sometimes I think people want to avoid commercials. Then again, you mentioned the Super Bowl, and sometimes people watch the game so they can see those commercials, too. Speaking of that, I'm not a football fan at all. I am dreaming of the days when there is more coverage of rugby in the States.
I got a phone call from a former boss last night. Unfortunately, because of bad circumstances (the death of a former co-worker's father). Still, it was *really* nice to talk to her. We talked for two hours catching up. It made me realize that I am not always really good about making the effort to keep people in my life. I think I need to do more of that.
I havent really been up to much this week. Sometimes I feel like my life is soooooo boring. Yet, it isnt really bad or anything. It is just that I have a goal to blog 4-5 days a week and sometimes I sit down here and have nothing to write. I could tell you that I spent my evening last night doing math problems and then watching TV and then writing a sympathy note to a friend. I was bad and didnt take the dogs for a walk like I usually do but now that they are older, they dont seem to mind staying inside too much when it is really cold out. That sympathy note to my friend really got me thinking though. I might be bored with my life but at least everyone I love is healthy and alive. I feel stuck in a rut but really my life isnt all that bad. I have a job that I dont love but I dont hate it either. I have a house that I love. I have great people in my life who love me. I think that there are a couple of ways to find happiness. One of them is accepting what you have and the other is to find something you dont have and then go about getting it. I guess my problem right now is that I dont feel like doing either one of those things. I am going to think about it though. That is my project for tomorrow. I will make a list of everything in my life that I am happy with. And a list of everything in my life that I am unhappy with and I will make a plan to change one thing on the unhappy list and I will read the happy list over and over.
I spent the better part of yesterday morning passing out leaflets for polygon, who is running for county clerk. It was really hard for me to be out in public yesterday because of some disturbing news I received on friday, but I am proud of myself that I was able to suck it up and keep my commitments. I met some nice folks too. It is really nice seeing people vote in a caucus or volunteer to pass out literature. I really liked the Dean volunteers. They were really young (one of them just 17) and it gave me a lot of hope to see them youngins participating in the political process with such energy. The weirdest thing was that I ran into my old therapist and got a hug from her just when I needed it most.
I have a friend named Kate who has monthly movie parties. They are always a ton of fun. I really needed to be around people last night so I went. I am very glad I did. I had a good time. The movie of the evening was Sixteen Candles. What a trip down memory lane that was! It was soooooo 1980's. I loved that movie when it first came out. I remember hanging around in the halls at school talking about it. It was funny because it was so unlike the school I went to and yet we all identified with the characters. John Hughes really had a talent for making movies that appeal to 15 year olds. We all started talking about high schools and there was a woman at this party named Angela who coincidently lived pretty close to me when I lived in Detroit. She lived at 6 mile and Woodward and I lived at 7 mile and Livernois. Small world. In Detroit, there were two city wide schools that were really good academically, Cass Tech and Renaissance. Both schools had an admissions process similar to college. Anyhow, I went to Cass Tech and she went to Renaissance. It was fun to talk about high school in Detroit with someone. I also got to see my friend Gary whom I havent seen in ages. He was really supportive about some things I am going through right now which I really needed. We talked a lot about it. When I whined about how I didnt have a movie buddy anymore, Kate made a big deal about how she *loves* to go to the movies so now we have a big movie date to see Hildalgo when it comes out in early March. I am pleased about that. I did get some bad news yesterday from Gary. He is planning on moving to California in May (just after I get back, doh!). He has said this many times before but this time I think he really means it. *sigh* I dont really need to lose any more friends right now. Still I really admire his courage. There is a big part of me that wants to pick up and try something new too.
I don't remember that movie, but my wife thinks it's pretty funny.
My mom sent me this article about housing values in the city I live in. I have to say that made me feel really good about buying my house. Not that I needed to feel good about it but it helps sometimes when I am paying my mortgage. I have a lot of equity in this house now and there is a certain security in that. www.mlive.com/news/aanews/index.ssf?/base/news-7/107623891371701.xml http://url.rexroof.com/465
I have to admit that I have been quite disappointed in Dean s results in this race so far. It has been a long time since I have been so enthused about a presidential candidate. There is some disappointment. But luckily for Kerry if he happens to win the nomination, I like him a lot better than I like George Bush. I was reading an editorial in the NYT about the labor market. It is dismal. People here where I work have been losing their jobs. I could lose my job any minute (ok, it is unlikely but it could happen). This is an issue where I have an emotional response: fear. I know that a lot of people share that fear or, worse, are living through having lost their jobs. Just this week, I heard a story about a small town in Michigan that is going to lose the factory that employs most folks. So, heck yeah, I am afraid of losing my job. An economic recovery without jobs doesn t feel like much of a recovery to the average person who is living paycheck to paycheck and just getting by.
It's even worse for those struggling to get off the dole. There's that writing on the wall-- funding will be cut-- but how does welfare-to- work pan out when the unemployment rate is so stressed?
I know. It is a pretty bad time to be without a job. I worry a lot about that. Not just about my job but about the effects of having a lot of unemployed people will have on society in general. I mean, it seems to me that it means less tax revenue and increased need for state funded welfare programs.
I just hope it isn't a vicious cycle.
Ugh. I feel really sick today. I have a headache and feel really lightheaded. I hope I am not coming down with something serious. I have to laugh at myself though. Whenever I start to feel sick, all kinds of crazy things start rolling through my head. eg What if my furnace is broken and my house is filled with carbon monoxide? Oh yeah, that would mean the carbon monoxide detector must be broken too. What if I have caught that terrible flu that has hit all those students at U of M? What if one of those Asian chickens with the bird flu jumped on a jet, flew all the way to Michigan and pooped in my tea? (Ok, I am not really too worried about that last one) Anyhow, I have decided to stay home today. I figure that now, more than most times, I deserve to sit back and take care of myself. Besides, I have a big weekend planned so it would really suck to be sick. I mean, my last living grandmother is having a 90th birthday party on Saturday and I would be really bummed if I had to miss it. Nope, better to take care of myself now and hope for the best.
Asian chicken shit in my tea would worry me quite a bit. Chicken shit in general, really.
Grumble...grumble... My blog site http://lynne.tblog.com is offline and has been all day. So, I guess I'll write here and cut and paste it over there later. See? I still find this item useful. Yay grex! I went to a garage sale (although it was in an apartment and not a garage) today at Gary's house. He is moving in June and is getting rid of most of his things. I wanted the hand chair (plastic chair, shaped like a hand) for my yard. I love that chair and it would be perfect for outdoor seating. It is mine now. Boo Yah! It was really nice talking to Gary (and Kate) about things. I have been feeling very angry at someone lately and wondering if I was justified in feeling that way. Not that I ever need to justify it when I am feeling angry, it is just nice *this* time. Anyhow, Gary and Kate both assured me that if any friend of theirs did to them what my friend (or ex-friend or whatever, I dont even know) did to me, they would be angry too. I dont know why but that made me feel better about things. Well, it made me feel a little bit less crazy and *that* is always nice. I am really going to miss Gary when he moves. But at least he is moving to San Francisco which is an area of the world I tend to visit a lot. Actually, I am going there just a few weeks before he does which is kind of funny but anyways...
I had a question for earlier entries... politics real quick... what's your take on John Kerry real quick? I'd heard some Dean supporters are backing Nader but Dean himself is not. Was curious. Back to your current entry, one of my sisters lives in San Jose which is next door to San Fran as you know. I haven't been there but I hear a lot about her and her husband from time to time. They have quite the place down there... he's an architect and she's in interior design. I still think their fish aquarium is so awesome-- they took our old standing floor TV and molded the glass for the aquarium where the old tube had been. So now you have fish in a TV =)
I have some serious issues with Kerry, to be honest. And I think Nader is the better candidate which is saying a lot because I have a lot of reservations about him too. However, I *really* dont like Bush and thus will vote for the lesser of two evils when election time rolls around. Let's face it, Nader doesnt have a chance so I am not willing to risk voting for him. I am familiar with San Jose. I have spent some time there since I have a friend who used to live there. I think it is my least favorite city in the bay area. ;) I always liked to joke that it was the armpit of the bay. If I never find my way to San Jose, I will be more than happy ;) Still, if you have the opportunity, go visit your sister. It isnt a long drive to all the fun touristy things. I mean, it is pretty easy to go to GARLIC WORLD in Gilroy, Berkeley, San Francisco, Monterray, Santa Cruz, etc. I have seen those fish aquariums made from old TV's. They are cool. If I wasnt terrible with fish, I would consider doing something similar. Unfortunately, even after working in a pet store for several years, I have never been able to manage to keep fish alive. heh.
AHHHHH...My blog site is still down. So...here goes another blog entry for me to cut and paste there later: http://url.rexroof.com/565 (news.yahoo.com/news? tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040314/ap_on_sc/undead_lobsters_2) I have always had a problem with eating lobster. My problem isnt that they dont taste good because...mmmmmm...they taste GOOD. My problem has always been that they remind me of giant cockroaches. Every time I sit down to eat one, I cant help thinking of it as a cockroach of the sea. ICK. When I was a child, my family went on vacation to Maine. We kept stopping for lobster and my parents would always order me a lobster and then when I refused to eat it, they would order me a hamburger instead. They and my siblings would split the lobster they ordered for me and they would laugh and say, "Ok...more for us!" (for some reason, they never said that about lima beans and broccoli which they always made me eat) I cant think of lobster without thinking of that trip to Maine. Funny how we carry things with us like that. One thing I have always heard about cockroaches is that if you freeze them, they will come back to life when they thaw out. I always thought there was something just a little gross about that. Now it turns out that lobsters also can be frozen and then thawed. ICK. They are just like giant cockroaches of the sea. ICK!
Beware the Ides of March! I have a friend who has a dog named 'Brutus' and I was just thinking that if I had a dog named 'Brutus', I would probably spend the whole day looking over at him and saying 'Et Tu, Brutus?" and then laughing a lot. So...I guess it is a good thing my dogs are named Brooke and Crissy ;)
resp:149 I hope that enough think as you do, honestly. Although I initially voted for Bush, I am not keen on him anymore. (I had not voted for Gore, you see.) resp:150 I know this does not help at all, but I thought I had heard they were all arthopods or something. *sigh* Well, I'm not sure what sort of mental conditioning you would need to get past your aversion, because yes, lobster good... especially rock lobster...
Grumble. My blog site is down. Blah, how annoying. Oh well. At least I have grex as a back up ;) I am sitting here awake hours before the rest of the household. Not surprising considering that I went to bed at 9:30p. I am sitting here looking out of the window at the dawn. It is just getting light and it is foggy. Shannon's guinea hens are making those cute noises that they make. It is oddly comforting. It is peaceful here at dawn. Sonoma county is probably my favorite part of California. It isnt very peaceful at dawn at my house. On the rare occasion when I wake up before 6a at home, the dogs get all excited because they see that as a sign of an early breakfast and then I have to go through the whole morning routine with them with is nice but isnt exactly peaceful.
Grex as a back up? What a concept!
Well, my blog site is down again http:\\lynne.tblog.com It is very frustrating but I am not quite ready to jump ship yet. Others are though. It sucks because every time they have downtime it takes a long time for my readers to come back. And I am an attention slut so having a lot of readers is important to me. But the writing is good for me too which is why I am happy to have grex as my back up even though not too many people stumble through this particular conference. :) There are some things I want to talk about not on my regular blog anyways. Not that they are private or anything...it is more that they are less public than other things. The private things go into my hand written offline journal. :) So, I met a guy when I was in California which was both really wonderful and something that is currently driving me crazy. I want to spend time hanging out with him but I cant because he is there and I am here. Oh well. I have to wonder if I even would have allowed myself to like him if he didnt live so far away. I have a real pattern of only liking unavailable guys. And being 2000+ miles away is pretty unavailable. I guess I will try not to worry about it too much. Whatever will be will be, right? All I know is that he took me sailing on a boat called "Sugar Magnolia" which is a boat name I used to fantasize about years ago. Now I have that song stuck in my head and I find myself humming it all the time. At least it is a good song.
http://lynne.tblog.com There are people in this world who are procrastinators. I was thinking about this today because I had to go to the bank to deposit my pay check. When I first got hired, they gave me all the forms for direct deposit. I love direct deposit. I think it is a pain to go to the bank every two weeks. But I set those forms aside and thought to myself, "I'll get around to that later" and I kept putting it off. And I kept putting it off. I thought about it today because as I was sitting at my desk writing out the deposit slip for the bank, I got an email about a special breakfast I have been invited to at work on Thursday. It is to celebrate my *fifth* anniversary with the company. I had to laugh. Geez, could I have put off the direct deposit thing any more? I caught myself thinking, "I really should fill out those forms...I'll do it later" as I walked out the door to go to the bank. *slaps forehead*
And a special haiku not appearing on my blog (at least not yet) An Audi Haiku by Lynne: That Lynne would hate me except volkswagen makes me lets drive by the sea
Sorry to see that this item ended.
no so much ended as moved ---- see http:\\slynne.com
I have you bookmarked.
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