Grex Cooking Conference

Item 164: Worst thing you ever cooked.

Entered by keesan on Wed Sep 30 04:04:48 1998:

Please describe some of the worst things you ever cooked.
39 responses total.

#1 of 39 by keesan on Wed Sep 30 04:06:34 1998:

Jim says when he was little and nonvegetarian, he cooked a hamburger with the
tomato, lettuce, and pickles wrapped inside the meat before frying, he wanted
to see what would happen.  Don't bother, it's awful.


#2 of 39 by omni on Wed Sep 30 04:41:18 1998:

  I wouldn't call it the worst, but the weirdest I ever cooked was deep
fried hamburger dill slices with a batter mix on them. They are actually
pretty good, but it's an aquired taste. ;)


#3 of 39 by void on Wed Oct 7 06:45:58 1998:

   spam soup.  a true (and truly inedible) desperation meal.


#4 of 39 by keesan on Wed Oct 7 22:47:42 1998:

Half-cooked rice and half-cooked squash and half-cooked eggplant was our worst
meal of the week.  We were too hungry to wait.  Crunchy.  We turned the rice
back on to finish cooking.


#5 of 39 by remmers on Wed Oct 7 23:08:41 1998:

("Spam soup" is the most horrifying concept I've encountered
in a long time.)


#6 of 39 by waterrat on Fri Oct 16 00:32:17 1998:

(Are we talking worst in terms of taste, appearance, or the cleanup job that
followed?  All of the above?)


#7 of 39 by md on Sat Oct 17 11:26:34 1998:

Once at a party in college we ran out of mixer after all the
stores had closed, so someone (I'm afraid it might've been me)
suggested using Alka Seltzer.  If you've never tasted rum and
Alka Seltzer, you don't know the meaning of the word "horror."


#8 of 39 by jmm on Sat Oct 17 15:27:53 1998:

Overcooked squash I had last night. I think it was a Turk's head (squash, that
is). Dry and tasteless. Not as bad as the time, years ago, when I tried to
cook a pumpkin like any other squash. The whole thing went into compost. 


#9 of 39 by keesan on Tue Oct 20 18:16:11 1998:

I am curious what was wrong with the pumpkin, it is a sort of squash.


#10 of 39 by jmm on Sat Oct 24 18:51:01 1998:

Pumpkin can probably be cooked like any other squash. If I hadn't just come
back from the store, where I got a nice-looking butternut squash, I'd go out
and get another pumpkin just to see. I suspect what makes pumpkin pie taste
good is the spice and molasses and other stuff. My failure, several years ago,
was probably trying to fix too many things for a fairly large dinner with
guests with fairly conventional tastes. Plain, unseasoned pumpkin just wasn't
what they had in mind for a Thanksgiving dinner. 


#11 of 39 by keesan on Sun Oct 25 00:40:36 1998:

Was it a pie pumpkin or a jack-o-lantern type, which is bred to be large and
tasteless and not for eating?
We have discovered that 2 week old persimmons taste fermented, they should
not be served to guests.  Better to freeze them at once and they also do not
get slimy if frozen quickly.


#12 of 39 by omni on Sun Oct 25 10:00:07 1998:

   Butternut squash pie is most excellent. You substitute the pumpkin for
butter nut squash and add the usual spices for pumpkin pie. You really cannot
tell the difference. I am not a fan of butternut squash and was most surprised
when I found myself asking for a second piece.

  The worst food ever? Wax beans.


#13 of 39 by keesan on Sun Oct 25 23:10:43 1998:

What did you do to the beans?  I find them rather tasteless but not 'bad'.


#14 of 39 by omni on Mon Oct 26 06:54:26 1998:

  
  I am not a veggie fan. I hate them. Like just a little less than the
contempt I have for things like Satan, Hitler, spinach, green beans, etc.
I had a very bad experience with them in my childhood, and I swore to the 
heavens on my dog's very soul that I would never, ever voluntarily buy,
harbor, cultivate, cook, encourage, or ship wax beans.

  I get the vitamins I need from pills. A painless experience.


#15 of 39 by mta on Mon Oct 26 16:41:59 1998:

Wow...I can't imagine life without a crisp green salad, warm, crisp veggies
with herb and spices, or all the wonderful tastes and textures of the garden.

Then again, I can live without quite a few things, so I guess it's all a
matter of taste.  (But I can't help but wonder, Jim, if you just haven't had
really well prepapred veggies.  The catch is, everyone has a different idea
of what wonderful veggies are.  (My mother likes to buy them canned and then
boil them until they turn grey.  Anything else strikes her as disgusting.)


#16 of 39 by keesan on Mon Oct 26 23:37:40 1998:

Do not store eggplant for several weeks in a plastic bag.  Or peppers.


#17 of 39 by omni on Tue Oct 27 08:21:09 1998:

  I love salads. I can eat a oil tankerful. Raw carrots, and raw broccoli and
raw cauliflower is just fine. 

  But as for peas, limas, wax, green beans, notrhern beans, spinach etc, I
hate it. I grew up going to a boarding school which was a little heavy on the
discipline and woe to anyone who hated veggies. Everyone was expected to eat
them, and eat everything. This was the 60's. No one would dare pull that crap
today.
  I tried them nicely prepared and it's the same thing. Bleah. I'm afraid that
part of the hard disk is not rewriteable. 

   Corn, I like in certain forms. As for on the cob, or out of the can, I
despise it. Popcorn, I can eat a ton, and frankly I don't see the difference
betwen opening a can of corn and popping a bag of corn, except the smell.

   My mother never had the cojones to tell the school to back off on the
forcefeeding of veggies. 


#18 of 39 by jmm on Tue Nov 3 15:37:44 1998:

Just a follow-up on the pumpkin question. I got a medium-sized pumpkin at the
store, without any indication of whether it was for jack-o-lantern or eating.
Cooked in the microwave, turning every three or four minutes, until tender,
about 20 minutes altogether. Ate the first half plain. Pretty dry and
tasteless, as predicted. Mashed the second half with salt, maple syrup,
cinnamon, egg replacer, soy milk, and microwaved for a few minutes. Delicious.
Like pumpkin pie without the fatty crust. Egg replacer is mostly starch, and
cornstarch probably would work as well. Orange juice or apple juice might
substitute for the soy milk. Might be richer with some canola oil. From now
on I'm a pumpkin eater. Incidentally, I threw the seeds into the compost bin,
but wonder whether there's a good way to roast them for eating. In the olden
times we used to buy pumpkin seeds at the store at Halloween time.


#19 of 39 by scott on Tue Nov 3 15:45:25 1998:

Yes, you just rinse the seeds to get all the goo off, then put in a pie tin
or cookie sheet.  Put in oven 300-400 degrees, stir every 4-5 minutes.  Most
people put some salt on them before putting in the oven.  Don't allow the
seeds to get brown while in oven.  Seeds do not take very long to cook.


#20 of 39 by keesan on Tue Nov 3 19:25:23 1998:

250 degrees for half an hour or so will also work, in a broiler oven.  LEss
chance of burning them.


#21 of 39 by jmm on Sun Nov 8 11:32:19 1998:

Incidentally, Kami scolded me for my limited view of pumpkin cuisine. She
suggests such delicacies as pumpkin soup, pumpkin stew, and pumpkin bread or
cake. Sorry, Kami. I'll get another pumpkin and try all of these.


#22 of 39 by mary on Sun Nov 8 13:11:50 1998:

I attended a cooking class at Kitchen Port a week or so ago
and the featured chef was from Great Harvest Bread Co.
She made a number of soups, my favorite of which was a 
pumpkin-coconut bisque.  I've since made it and it was both
easy and delicious.


#23 of 39 by mta on Thu Nov 12 02:54:16 1998:

Pumkin custard is a favorite around our house.  I've taken to adding chocolate
chips to it in honour of valerie.  <g>


#24 of 39 by remmers on Thu Nov 12 11:30:59 1998:

This being the "Worst thing you ever cooked" item, I assume resp:23 is
drift.


#25 of 39 by mta on Thu Nov 12 15:00:30 1998:

YUp.  (oops)


#26 of 39 by valerie on Thu Nov 12 15:30:24 1998:

Re back-there: I use "pie pumpkins" and "Jack-o-Lantern pumpkins"
interchangeably in cooking.  They taste pretty much the same to me.
Haven't had any luck getting the seeds to cook up into something edible,
though.  I'm told there are other types of pumpkins that are grown for
their seeds.


#27 of 39 by eeyore on Thu Nov 19 14:38:17 1998:

Out of curiousity, why aren't you ssupposed to let the pumpkin seeds get
brown?

Last time I did seeds, I did it at 350 for about 35-40 minutes, with a
little oil in the bottom of the pan, and got the seeds nice and toasty brow,
which tasted much better to me and my roomie than the non-toasty brown ones
that my parents did.  My dad preferd them too.  (My mom wouldn't let him do
them brown though...sigh :)


#28 of 39 by keesan on Thu Nov 19 18:59:49 1998:

See 'what am I'.  Problem is that it is easy to burn the seeds, and if some
get a little brown others may turn black.  If you stir very frequently, or
shake, it helps.


#29 of 39 by scott on Thu Nov 19 22:58:19 1998:

Joy of Cooking says that the seeds will brown a bit after being removed from
the oven, so you shouldn't let them get brown while still in the oven.


#30 of 39 by keesan on Fri Nov 20 23:53:16 1998:

Anyone try microwaving pumpkin seeds?


#31 of 39 by mta on Sat Nov 21 01:03:30 1998:

Sounds like a recipe for an explosion.  ;)


#32 of 39 by valerie on Sun Nov 22 00:48:41 1998:

I wouldn't think that microwaved pumpkin seeds would explode.  But things in
the microwave generally don't get crunchy, and pumpkin seeds are supposed to
be crunchy.  Dunno.  I toast walnuts in the microwave from time to time, but
that's partly because I'm not a big fan of the flavor of toasting.


#33 of 39 by void on Wed Dec 16 09:35:03 1998:

   the response way back there about rum and alka-seltzer reminded me
of the time some drinking buddies and i ran out of orange juice, so
we made screwdrivers by dissolving tang in straight vodka.


#34 of 39 by danr on Sun Jan 10 22:53:34 1999:

One of the worst things I cooked lately was refried beans in olive oil. Believe
me, they don't go together.


#35 of 39 by keesan on Mon Jan 11 16:44:04 1999:

That is odd, I have seen recipes for French provencal beans with white beans,
tomatoes, onions, garlic and lots of olive oil.  Maybe it was your
expectations of a different taste?


#36 of 39 by eeyore on Mon Jan 11 17:43:02 1999:

Well, refried beans and white beans are quite a bit different.....


#37 of 39 by keesan on Wed Jan 13 01:22:04 1999:

Not sure which conference this belongs it, but at Kiwanis we just got in a
top of the line Epson printer that rattled.  Jim turend it upside down and
got a cascade of short pieces of spaghetti, a bit of linguini, and some small
black ojbects that turned out to be sunflower seeds.  A mouse nest?  We had
a pair of speakers once like this.


#38 of 39 by valkyrie on Wed Jan 13 19:21:34 1999:



#39 of 39 by keesan on Wed Jan 13 23:31:43 1999:

Speechless?


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