55 new of 158 responses total.
Heh, I saw a movie with Ron Jeremy last night....as a preacher! *snicker* It's funny, because the guys that I've dated don't really fit into my list of what I would necessarily be looking for....yet they were all mostly perfect (for awhile anyway....they are all ex's now :) But it does give me a better idea of what to look for next time. Skip nice, give me somebody that can actually manage to out-stubborn me :)
Re #91 and #92:
You may be running into another phenomenon that I've noticed - that
a lot of people, the majority of them, or so it seems, being women - have
difficulty telling someone that they're uninterested in a clear and
unambiguous manner. Then again, maybe you aren't running into it, and you
really have found someone with who sees you as a sibling, or has more regard
for good friends than they do for lovers.
Re #97:
I don't think that's really the case, but I often am surprised at just
how much some people will put up with from the "right" person, and how some
people continuously seem to seek out the "right" person who winds up being
terribly wrong. It doesn't really even seem to have that much to do with
attractiveness - I've seen people go out with ugly assholes, and been unable
to do more than simply scratch my head.
Back to the topic:
There's also the issue of playing the polarities. If someone's
actively chasing you, then it's easy for a lot of people to start thinking
in terms of resistance. If someone isn't, or is, but doesn't really seem to
be working all that hard at it, then it's easier to think in terms of
pursuing them.
I ran into that one hard and fast when getting back together with an
ex-girlfriend; I hadn't been much of a flower-buyer, in the past, and had
become more of one in the time we'd spent apart. When we got back together,
I made up for lost time. And overdid it. Bigtime. Not just with flowers.
That really killed her interest in me, and when she became argumentative, it
killed my interest in her.
I don't think "I just want to be friends" or "I see you as a brother" is at all unclear or unambiguous. It means what you said it does, "I find you physically repulsive and wouldn't sleep with you if we were the last two people on earth, but you're a nice enough person to hang out with."
<chuckle> <rant> know what i REALLY loathe? when i have a nice talk with a perfectly attractive women who's expressed interest in the same sexual deviation as i, who sits there and know 's the freind pain. who expresses this greatly..and then.... follows it up with "wow greg, you're such a good freind" GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH </rant>
People don't usually talk about sex with people they intend to have
it with, do they?
They don't? Everybody I've had sex with has talked about it.
I hav eabsolutely no issues with discussing sex with somebody that I'm planning on having it with. In fact, I'd *rather* do it before hand anyway....makes for an easier time. (of course, as we all know, I have no problems talking about anything. At all. At any time. Think it's a big reason I'm not dating my most recent ex anymore. Oh well. :)
I think I got into this before in a metadiscussion about discussing
what you do and don't like about sex with your partner. I think it's Just
Me (tm), but it may be more widespread. Talking about sex tends to ruin it
for me, make it too clinical.
I agree with Jazz. A playful exchange of ideas is fine, but geometric proofs and such will keep me out of bed. I've discussed sex with people I don't sleep with. That's what a girls' night out is for. :)
Geometric profs suck. I've never had adiscussion of "Touch me here, and I'll touch you there", but a nice amusing discussion of ideas and such is fun :).
besides, you can usually flirt and "discuss" what you wnat in an encounter at the same time
'zactly!
and y'know, if you have the time/energy/appropriate playspace you can always just move ino the fun and games right there. y'know, streamlining negotiations a bit;)
Oddly, a couple of those last responses contradict each other.
I've noticed though, that talking about sex in general tends to be a
friend type of intimacy, and that talking about sex in a more specific context
of what you want at the moment, tends to be more of a partner type of
intimacy.
fair 'nuff. i'll have to keep that in mind
But, as I said earlier in the item, it might be Just Me (tm).
yha, well, i'm noticing trend myself
very interesting development of the thread
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This drifted into Nothingness and stayed 5 months... I said to someone just yesterday, "I can't really define 'my type', but I know right away when someone isn't."
I guess "my type" is someone legal, who isn't a Christian, isn't high on religion, and not a conservative. All considerations after that are secondary.
Wow. You make me look so picky. :) My "application for dating Sarah" resembles the SAT sometimes. Looks, however, rate Very Low compared to intelligence, wit, and passion for the arts. The men I've dated barely resemble each other. I do have a preference for long dark hair and wire-rimmed or "fifties" glasses, but it's not really a requirement. I just notice them first. :) (I wonder if it's because guys who look like that tend to have the same interests as me...hmm...)
First to be on topic, let me say that over the years my tastes in regards to
the ladies have changed, in sync with my lessening sex drive:
17-19> Does she have breasts of some sort and genitals opposite of mine?
SOLD!
19-21> Alrighty, is she able to have a conversation, share a couple of
interests, meet criteria one, and not outweigh me by more then 25%? SOLD!
21-Present> All of the above, some interests in the arts, an interesting mind,
and a bit wacky. But physically, any and all, especially if the combination
of looks is a bit unusual, I like distinctive features and builds.
But...and I say this with all regard, should I enter the singles market again
may my testicles fall off and I never date again if I go out with a woman who
in our early conversations spends more then 50% of the time discussing the
complex interrelationships between her and her friends, complete with names,
dates, and exact text. I actually have a fairly decent recall for
conversations, I don't want to retain that in six months.
The Friend Zone> Ah, actually one of my favorite places to be, overall I found
personally women more fascinating to talk to then men, not to say it is
exclusionary but I'm a fussy lad who likes a wide array of interests not
shared by many of the gentleman I met in school. ("Did you see the game last
night?" "No, but I imagine muscled guys slammed into each other with their
normal disregard for safety. Did our valiant warriors vanquish the evil foe
of the week?") But anyway, one of the nicest things I find is to learn about
a person, what they do, think, believe, and hold dear. (Which is not in
contrast to the above comments on interrelationship chats, they can be
interesting but if your *entire* focus is on them, get a hobby.)
But Greg, regarding your above rants, I feel your pain, very fully. "Ed, I
really like being able to talk with you, and I'm just not sure what to do
about my boyfriend." *Nice comments on status of relationship, after some
thoughtful questions* "Good point, why can't he talk like that, your so
sweet." Sweet = hey, your a nice guy, but I'd rather have intimate relations
with my kitchen appliances, including the ginsu knives, before going at it
with you monkey boy.
Remember, one thing women do when they're faced with a difficult
situation is distort the truth in a way that the'll claim is to spare the
other party's feelings, but also, coincidentally, spares them the difficulty
of telling a hard truth.
"Sweet" translates to "polite, but boring", unfortunately.
Good point Sir Jazz, although let me say that if I am being shown the metaphoric door, I much prefer to get a more accurate phrase, "You are one odd/weird/freaky guy." At least then I get to leave with a bow and smile.
... well then you might as well give up on women. If they're walking
out, they'll say anything to avoid anything they think might hurt you more,
even if it's useful and true.
Give up on women? Never sir, never. To give up the soft and lovely gender of the two, I'd rather give up my legs.
women are terribly complex, maybe... but there's due process of thought to be given to a person who is wacky. i myself am attracted not just to wacky women (my beloved yuki is living red-haired proof of this) but to wacky people in general. they seem more interesting because they're more open-minded usually, and that, at the very least, gives for good conversation, or a stint of running through the mall in a napolean outfit yelling "to waterloo! and feed the horses!" anyhow, to answer myself to the original topic, i used to think that i liked women with short black hair, a slightly petite build, cat-eyed or go-go fifty glasses (i think lisa loeb is terribly terribly hot.), and a spirited laugh, but yuki has shown me that i also like mid-length reddish-brown curly haired short women with wire-frames and a spirited laugh. really, though, it's all about the person inside. A great master once said sex is one thousand times as fulfilling when you truely love your partner with your complete soul. but i digress, as i am new to these boards, and don't want to over-step my newbie boundaries.
and - i'm sorry for pulling out the old threads. ^^;;
No... it's okay... pull 'em out. This cf has been dead for too long.
Seems that lots of conferences go almost completely dead, then a bit of new life is breathed into them every so often. I did a little backtracking in this item last night, because I have confused emotions regarding a woman I like. Even so, I'll go with what happens, if anything.
OK, so you like skinny emo girls ...
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That was a vague reference to the translation of "sweet" in female- ese. Granted, it was an action she said was "sweet", not me directly.
resp:134 and sometimes by new people. This was a fresh breath in the right direction, methinks.
I'm soooooo lost in this item.
where did skinny emo girls come from?
*grumbles about how ALL music is emotional and makes "emo" a silly term to use then walks off* I prefer "whiny, suckass music". :)
Emo concerts.
Emo is short for "emotional punk". "Emotional" has several different
meanings, but if you assume it means "overly sentimental" the term kinda
fits.
I have a strong dislike for airheads myself....
As I understand it, the term "emo" came about when punk started dividing into "hardcore" and "not hardcore". That makes sense, but I still think it's whiny, suckass music. :)
The more I think about it, the more I think punk is a state of mind rather than a state of expression.
i happen to like huskerdu
<waves and ducks back into hiding>
here kitty, kitty...
mrrow?
w00h00, hot tomcat on tomcat action. let's get the vid camera let the ghey k!77!3 p|20|/|2 |336!|/|
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wrong kitty, Dcat; but here's some fresh kibble....
And a year later...
yha, it's pretty much a necropolis. we need fresh blood.
Uh... yeah, where do we get that stuff again?
you're the one with a boi. did you special order him or somthing?
Umm, no? He was a friend of a friend...
ohh, FoF nice.. but i think grex has plethora of men. it's the fly honies grex is short upon these days
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