51 new of 55 responses total.
no clue, i'm not
so do you consider the 'politics' to be the same when a man does it compared with when a woman does it? [im just trying to bring this conf back to life people!]
well, thank you. politics? i do k now that a great many women i've spoken to don't like to give head, and guys think it makes them weak. me, i just think that's silly.
I know someone who said she doesn't like the texture. We think we found a cure for that, though. Chocolate flavored body butter. :9
The only thing that makes me uncomfortable about oral sex is that some
people insist on calling it just "oral", which is an adjective, and not a
noun. It's weird, but that really bugs me, way out of porportion to any
other adjective being used as a noun.
I'd say the politics are the same; if I ran into someone who wouldn't
go down on me, I'd stop going down on them. I must have been exceptionally
fortunate, because although I've run into a few people who have issues from
their past, I haven't run into anyone who wasn't into it.
one thing that bugs me about _head_ (n.) when people feel automatically obligated to reciprocate. the thing phenix said about 'guys think it make them weak' - i think that can go both ways. _head_ often becomes a 'service' and not sex. shitty.
Okay, I'm with you there. But people need to be less uptight about
sex anyways. You don't see people getting as worked up over who enjoyed
rollerblading more, or whether they were both into that scenic drive.
what some women don't seem to understand is how much power you can have over a man when you give him head. If I offer to give Jon head, he'll do almost anything I ask, provided I don't go overboard and provided also that deliver on my offer in the first place. Manipulating someone with an offer of head and then not delivering is not wise. I would stop trusting someone who got me to do something for them with and offer of head and then didn't provide.
Uh oh, there goes one of my buttons. Do you really want to turn sex into a currency? There's a word for that...
Here's a story I thought was interesting and may fit in this item: A guy I know (who I suspect has "issues" re/women) started hanging out with the gf of someone he knew who had moved to another state. She was never clear on the status of that relationship. She did start hanging out a lot with my friend, including late at night, sleeping over, etc. Classic tease behavior, some might say. Apparently things progressed to kissing and then him going down on her. She would not reciprocate, and eventually she stopped seeing him because she felt guilty. While I certainly see some fault on her part because of her unresolved feelings, I also have a hard time feeling as sorry for him as he feels for himself.
They're both choads. There's also the skill issue. Supposedly, some guys don't know what spots are pleasurable down there. And then there's the guy wish that a girl will continue to fellate and not get a sore jaw. I highly recommend the Nina Hartley videos for tips or finding a good self-help book with pictures.
and practice practice practice!!!
I'm with Greg. The idea that anyone would view sex as an exercise in
power over someone both disturbs and angers me. I don't think I've ever wound
up with someone like that, but if I did, I would leave in a heartbeat. But
then I don't react well at all to most manipulative tactics, and I've noticed
that people who are normally manipulative don't seem to try it around me, at
least not in the more obvious ways.
Jon - smart women will do many other things, including things with their mouth, until the sore cheeks/jaw goes away.
I've never had any issues with oral sex, other than the fact that it does absolutely nothing for me. I get bored. I kinda feel bad about that too, since there have been a few guys that have tried really really hard, and I certainly don't blame them!!! As for giving oral, once again, as a basic deed, I have no issues with it. For myself, I try to avoid it, for a few decent reasons. I tend to gag pretty easily, and no guy wants to be puked on. I do have jaw issues, and can't always open my mouth all the way. Also, when I'm excited, I tend to be fairly nippy, and nobody wants to be bitten there. Lastly is the taste...that whole gag things comes right back up as an issue. I've certainly gone down on most guys I've dated, but the rule has almost always been to let me know before anything comes out, or there will be hell to pay. Yeah, the guys I've known would be thrilled to have me go down, but never never never have I ever tried to use it as a power tool....that's just all sorts of sick and wrong. Sex is a beautiful thing..,..don't try to ruin it with power.
I suspect, although I don't know, that people may be reading Julie a bit harsher than she intended to be read. Heck, there's even an argument that she was just being tongue-on-dick-in-cheek.
Senna!!! :)
That's true, I suppose, Steve, but it wouldn't be the first time that
someone was speaking sarcastically and got taken seriously for lack of a ";)"
somewhere in the message.
On #19, I've never been with anyone who didn't enjoy cunninlingus.
Many women aren't comfortable enough with it to bring themselves to orgasm;
that's not uncommon at all and usually goes away with a little encouragement
and practice. But I've never been with anyone it did *nothing* for; it begs
the question if it's not the act, but the people who've gone down on you that
did nothing for you.
I'm inclined to agree with jazz, eeyore. It sounds like you've had some rotten luck and met some real cunnilingual morons.
i'll agree also. and i just can't stand that word - cunnilingus -
It doesn't roll off the tongue well, does it? That's inappropriate.
how about going down? that term sit wit you better?
i like head. :D
lol!@ #25 btw
head eh? that work
On the subject of #27 - who, outside of eeyore, DOESN'T like head?
resp:18 Well, yes. The key is you said *smart*. resp:20 I think Julie meant that you get a lot of favorable response. Hey, this guy will beg and grovel as far as that's concerned. resp:23 resp:22 resp:19 I also agree with jazz and void. Those few guys may have tried hard, but maybe they still didn't know what they were doing. Both the woman and the man need to be educated as far as oral stimulation of the female genitals is concerned. First of all.. it has to do with the clitoris, and not the vagina (assuming that's it.) Then there's experimentation, finding out what works.. what amount of stimulation and pressure is right, etc. In our last sex cf, I seem to remember that much of the consensus was that semen is an acquired taste, so to speak. I don't know if putting food on top helps any, such as body butter, chocolate, honey.. Can't remember the old item, but perhaps looking back is worth it.
Well, yes, and no. I've been told that some guys are blissfully
unaware of the existence of the clitoris, but it really doesn't seem like
that closely guarded of a secret to me. I mean, it's right there. Unless
you're not paying any attention whatsoever, you'd at least wonder what the
little nub is for, and might chance to brush up against it in the process of
fingering. So I don't buy the argument that bad head is the result of men
who don't know what a clitoris is.
Now, men who don't know what to do with it (or, I understand from a
friend, women) are a different story. Different people need different
degrees of stimulation. Some women are capable of having the normally
covered portion of the clitoris stimulated immediately, and some can't handle
anything except for indirect stimulation at all. I can completely buy
someone not doing THAT right, or learning one particular way and continuing
to use it with people it doesn't apply with.
The REAL key with head, though, is enjoying it. And letting your
partner know you enjoy it. It's a complete turn-on to have a partner who
really enjoys giving you pleasure and would prefer at times that you simply
enjoy yourself while they give it to you. If someone has issues with their
body, I can see accepting even the most direct partner being difficult.
Actually, I'm pretty sure that it's me and not the guys, and deffinately know that one of the guys is thought of highly in that area. You guys do realise that this doesn't bug me at all, right? :)
sure. you're just a mystery:)
#32 is right on. and the key really is enjoying doing it. that eventually make taste etc a non-issue. i couldnt enjoy receiving head if i knew the other person had to apply something in order to be able to do it. [not that thats out of the question - just the motive behind it] it would make me feel like i'm gross or something.. but it think it is also easier to master the task on a man than on a woman.
Re: #33 Ack! Just as the guys are safely talking themselves into believing that that they've correctly diagnosed and solved the problem, just like the hosts on Car Talk did with that clutch cable that kept breaking on the highway, and that the problem is no threat to the competence or honor of Real Guydom, and now you go and say something like that!
resp:20 I never meant that I thought it was an exercise in power. I've been led to believe that girls don't like to give head for a variety of reasons. Here are a couple I have heard. 1) they think it's dirty 2) they think that the man is becoming dominant over them (feminist response) 3) they don't like the taste of the penis/ejaculate I was responding in part to response #2 Any other reasons why some ladies don't like to give head?
the more pig-like man could then consider that woman as slutty.
I don't think it's an easier task to master with a man than a woman,
though perhaps there's a Kinsey three or two in the confrence who could
comment from experience rather than speculation. I'd speculate that for
competence, you'd need more of a psychological angle with women than men, but
that for truly outstanding sex you'd need a lot more than just physical skill
with either gender.
Women don't like giving head to men? I must've been lucky as hell,
then. I've noticed in my admittedly skewed sample that some women have had
issues with giving head to orgasm, and that wasn't generally a problem, but
it seemed more that they considered it less intimate, and therefore only
foreplay, than anything else. I've also noticed, in a few rarer cases,
people who've had issues due to past relationships or inexperience who are
very awkward about head, but did initiate it (as a side comment, I really
have to say not a one of them was bad; perhaps lacking in skill, but making
up for it in honesty and connection).
Oh, and Meg, please don't take my suggestion-offering as an indication
that I think that all of this bothers you; it's just that you're missing out
on one of the more fun things in life, IMHO, and people're bound to offer
suggestions.
I don't think one is more difficult than the other, physically speaking. Some of the "issues" in women is that they think they taste bad or smell bad, so it's hard to relax enough to have an orgasm. As for technique, it's not that hard if your partner communicates, but it can be damn difficult to know how you're doing if they're silent or won't give little directions for pressure, speed, etc. As for the taste of male ejaculate, just swallow quickly and keep a drink near the bed. :) It's not THAT horrible, but the tang/salty quality is a bit out of the ordinary. I just don't think about it since I enjoy pleasing my partner. That outweighs the second or two of "what an odd taste..."
resp:35 well yes, jazz managed to say it a lot better than I.. resp:32 was rather hastily written. resp:39 okay, I'll bite, albeit reluctantly. Speaking from the receiving end, hmmm.. well, yes, it does take practice. The term 'mastering' was used, so I don't think you can just suck away and be good. Also, I have a hard time ejaculating from being fellated, which I suppose is from too much masturbation. Speaking from the giving end, well, I'm not sure. I suppose some guys have practiced 'staying power' or ejaculation delaying techniques, so some ejaculate fairly quickly, and some don't. It's easy sometimes to be lazy.. I forget what the term is, but I think the slang is 'face- fucking'.. and so sometimes the guy can just move it around as feels best while the giver remains still. To be sure, a guy's sensitive parts are right out there, and it's hard to ignore them orally. For a woman, well, they are smaller. For me, well, it did help to read up and watch up on cunnilingus (sorry, easier to differentiate that way) and figure it out from there, because I was rather bad the first time I did it. But I'm sure it *will* vary from individual to individual. As for women's 'bad smell'.. "If is smells like fish, eat all you wish If it smells like cologne, leave it alone." Ejaculates (former), good. Urine (latter), not tasty and so the genitals probably could use a good swab with a warm washcloth.
btw, there's also a taboo on smegma.
What's the problem with smegma?
Ummm... you do know what smegma is, correct?
Hahahaha. Oh man, I can't stop laughing.
the poem?
Yes, I know what it is. It smells gross and if Jon has it on him when I go to give him head, I usually clean it off of him just because of that. Oh, heck! I put my foot in it again, didn't I?
what's so funny?
<shaking mental image away>
Heh. Mostly, though, it's just a fun word to say. Smegma smegma smegma. Pity there aren't that many uses for it in conversation. Okay, so it's not such a pity.
Smeg'ead.
What was the name of the actor who played Lister again? Now that Battle Bots has a U.S. version that is continuing where the BBC version left off, well, you just don't see him much anymore. Red Dwarf was such a good show =)
battle bots is comedy central with sports guys i think you mean robot wars
Re: 53 Craig Charles.
You have several choices: