Grex Agora47 Conference

Item 148: How Did the Earth Get Born

Entered by willcome on Mon Nov 3 23:05:03 2003:

 And so the ancient Indian tribe sat itself down around the totem pole, which
 in the future would be split in two with scafolding up the middle, where they
 began to tell each other stories, the first of which ended with, "And so,
all
 things are in some way born."

 And as a cloud moved just right, Iqwai wondered how did the moon get born,
 and he promptly asked that: "How did the moon get born, Storyteller?"






------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 --


  "The moon? Why, yes, I suppose that is a thing and was therefore born too.
 Well, you see, the moon, which is still young,-- hence its small size -- was
 born a long time ago, by two planets. You see, the planetary bodies too have
 lives, though at a pace much slower -- though no less vigorous and colourful
 -- than ours. And, so, yes, the moon: It was indeed born.

 "But born of what? Well, like your mothers and fathers, humans, borned you,
 who are humans, and a deer was born by a mother and father who were both
 deers, so too was the moon born by its own species.

 "Yes, indeed, the moon was born as a result of the mating of two planets.
The
 earth said to the Saturn, 'Hey, why don't you lift up your skirts?' and
Saturn
 obliged. And they had sex. The penis was this totem pole, right here," he
 said, clapping the pole's side and then, after a pause, wiping his hand on
 the ground.

 That night, Iqway pretended to fall asleep in his family's teepee, but,
 instead, when the first wolf howled, left for his cave, which to this day
 bares the inscription of his name, and masturbated. He was earth.
26 responses total.

#1 of 26 by other on Mon Nov 3 23:54:37 2003:

I see where you get your onanist inspiration.  It doesn't make it 
any less onanism, though.


#2 of 26 by willcome on Tue Nov 4 00:07:57 2003:

Where do I get my onanist inspiration?


#3 of 26 by russ on Tue Nov 4 01:54:21 2003:

forget


#4 of 26 by vegetto on Wed Nov 5 03:44:24 2003:

Two words for you all-.........BIG BANG!!!!


#5 of 26 by rcurl on Wed Nov 5 06:22:44 2003:

The BIG BANG happened far far earlier than the "birth" of the earth. There
was only hydrogen, helium, lithium, and traces of a few other elements
following the BIG BANG. You don't get ROCKS out of that mix very easily.


#6 of 26 by remmers on Wed Nov 5 14:11:27 2003:

When I was in elementary school, a popular theory on the origin of
the solar system was that the sun and another star passed close enough
together that the gravitional attraction pulled off some bits of the
sun, that then went into orbit around the sun and eventually cooled.
Dunno what the status of this theory is today.


#7 of 26 by bru on Wed Nov 5 15:51:07 2003:

1st came the Big Bang.
2nd came the sun.
3rd came the planets, including earth.
4th came microscopic organisms.
5th came an earth-wide glaciation
then 550 million years ago, the earth began to thaw and there was a sudden
upsergence of life.  Single celled animals gave way to the multicellular life
in the Cambrian Period, followed by the Ordovician, Silurian, Devonian,
Carboniferous, Permian, Mesozoic, Cretaceous, Neozoic which is where we
finally see mankind emerge.

Mankind evolved to the point where he looked around him and said:

I wonder where stars come fomr?


#8 of 26 by rcurl on Wed Nov 5 17:46:58 2003:

You missed the stage that, after the Big Bang, early stars formed from
hydrogen and helium (primarily) and "cooked" through fusion the heavier
elements, eventually spraying them into space in supernova explosions,
from the pieces of which condensed solid matter, which gathered together by
gravity and formed new suns that repeated the cycle. This goes in between
your "1st" and "2nd". 


#9 of 26 by rcurl on Wed Nov 5 17:48:30 2003:

By the way - eveyone might enjoy

http://wires.news.com.au/special/mm/030811-hubble.htm


#10 of 26 by tod on Wed Nov 5 18:43:35 2003:

This response has been erased.



#11 of 26 by rcurl on Wed Nov 5 19:04:44 2003:

Because it is comes from a theory that agrees with measurements of the
abundances of the chemical elements in the universe and the properties of
isotopes measured in the laboratory. Also, there are no observations
contradicting the theory. Therefore it seems to be a pretty believable
hypothesis, though undoubtedly subject to detailed revisions with further
observations. In these senses, it is just as well substantiated as the
Big Bang theory itself.



#12 of 26 by tod on Wed Nov 5 19:22:26 2003:

This response has been erased.



#13 of 26 by mynxcat on Wed Nov 5 19:28:19 2003:

Bru forgot about Adam and Eve.


#14 of 26 by happyboy on Wed Nov 5 19:33:54 2003:

Adam and sTeve


#15 of 26 by willcome on Wed Nov 5 20:30:21 2003:

You guys're supposed to be critiquing my excellent story.


#16 of 26 by rcurl on Wed Nov 5 20:36:36 2003:

Re #12: why not?


#17 of 26 by tod on Wed Nov 5 21:06:41 2003:

This response has been erased.



#18 of 26 by gull on Wed Nov 5 21:16:58 2003:

Nah, Rane knows because he was there.


#19 of 26 by remmers on Wed Nov 5 23:00:32 2003:

Re #15: We can't control you, so what makes you think you can
control us?  :)


#20 of 26 by rcurl on Thu Nov 6 02:06:07 2003:

Re #18: it was beautiful....


#21 of 26 by bru on Thu Nov 6 04:34:10 2003:

critiquing a story?  Where did you ask us to do that?


#22 of 26 by willcome on Thu Nov 6 04:40:42 2003:

It was implied by me posting it here, fatty.


#23 of 26 by bru on Thu Nov 6 17:53:18 2003:

Aha!  The name calling starts.  Now we know who you reallya re.


#24 of 26 by happyboy on Thu Nov 6 19:15:25 2003:

*reallya re*


take a shower, stink-o.


#25 of 26 by naftee on Mon Nov 10 01:17:38 2003:

Review.


#26 of 26 by willcome on Thu Nov 27 08:29:31 2003:

Whore.


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