Grex Agora46 Conference

Item 80: Write a letter to your favorite spammer

Entered by sj2 on Sat Jul 12 10:15:49 2003:

As the title suggests, write a witty letter to your favourite spammer:
1. African scams
2. Increase penis size
3. Breast Enlargement
4. Reduce debt
5. Hot teens
6. Get a college degree

:)
20 responses total.

#1 of 20 by sabre on Sat Jul 12 11:30:09 2003:

What??  And people call my threads a waste of time.
 i think you need breast enlargement.


#2 of 20 by keesan on Sat Jul 12 12:02:01 2003:

I have never received spams in categories 3 and 6, but I do get a lot of
inkjet and resume and prescription drug spam.  And dates in Australia or
Wales.


#3 of 20 by jaklumen on Sun Jul 13 05:51:35 2003:

Heh, I'll bite-- can't resist.  I'll kill three birds with one stone:

<alter ego mode>
Dear hot 'n horny teen sluts,

I've been excited about your offers.  I got my best boys and girls to 
increase their penis and breast sizes.  They'll fill you up right in 
your favorite spots-- your hands and you-know-wheres, hehe.  So 
prepare to get funkily pimpified, because I'm gonna spread the news 
all over the land like hot campfire Spam 'n Cheez Whiz!

SPAM SPAM SPAM 'n Cheez Whiz... now you get some, too!  Hot, sticky, 
and meaty!

The Great White Mack


#4 of 20 by pvn on Sun Jul 13 06:10:28 2003:

Do not spam spammers!  Likely as not the spam came via a poorly
configured host who had no intention of spamming you and likely as not
has no capacity of dealing with the problem.  If you are clever enough
to decode mail headers enough to know where the spam actually came from
you probably already know this and how to handle it.  If you spam
spammers all you do is create even more useless network traffic thus
making things worse for everybody else.  Also clever spammers who are
spammed now have a valid email address which is further passed on and
you will in fact generate more spam for yourself.  There are enough
clever people that know what they are doing involved in trying to solve
this problem that unless you know what you are doing all you will do is
make it more difficult for them.  Recent estimates are that over 50% of
Internet email traffic is spam so you can be assured that this is a hot
problem and it will be delt with.  Its not going to happen right away so
you are gonna have to put up with it for awhile.  But and again, adding
to the problem will not solve the problem.


#5 of 20 by pvn on Sun Jul 13 06:28:18 2003:

Having said that, if you want to retaliate at the risk of getting even
more spam then google "spam" and look for various sites with suggested
language for email to be sent to the responsible parties for the web
sites that the spam mail typically refers you to.  Generally it is
something like an offer of contract to review marketing material for a
fee along with language that suggests future spam indicates acceptance
of said contract and terms also indicating failure to pay for said
reviews in a reasonable time will result in small claims court action.
I don't have any idea of the success of such a method in reducing spam
as I never respond and simply file spam so I can track metrics over
time. I can confirm that once I subtract mailing list traffic well over
50% of the Internet email I receive is spam.


#6 of 20 by sj2 on Sun Jul 13 08:12:10 2003:

Re #4 & #5, lighten up.


#7 of 20 by pvn on Sun Jul 13 08:38:07 2003:

"lighten up"?  Its what exactly I'm saying!  Bend over and take it up
the ass, its what you sign up for when you sign up for "the Internet".


#8 of 20 by sj2 on Sun Jul 13 17:44:25 2003:

:)


#9 of 20 by polygon on Mon Jul 14 16:13:57 2003:

My response to the Nigerian email scam is as follows:

               http://potifos.com/fraud/

I started it partly because another blogger complained that he never got
any of the famed Nigerian fraud email.  I said, well, I have plenty, I can
share.  I have posted well over 400 examples.

To my surprise, the page gets a lot of traffic, mostly coming via search
engines: people Googling the (usually fictitious) names in the scam
letters.

So maybe this helps cut into Nigeria's $5 billion email fraud industry,
just a little bit.


#10 of 20 by scott on Mon Jul 14 16:21:13 2003:

Might save somebody's life, even.  A worthy public service.


#11 of 20 by keesan on Mon Jul 14 16:43:21 2003:

How many victims do they take in every year?  I doubt the people stupid
enough to believe the spam would have the sense to read Larry's site.


#12 of 20 by polygon on Mon Jul 14 16:55:29 2003:

Re 11.  The victims are not necessarily stupid; they are blinded by
greed.  And it does appear that at least some people habitually check
out new acquaintances via Google.


#13 of 20 by flem on Mon Jul 14 18:43:17 2003:

Dear spammers,

I observed two years ago that the proportion of porn spam I received that
specifically advertised the allurements of so-called "mature women" was
alarmingly high.  At one point, the ads for "granny bares all" neared 50% of
all the porn spam I received.  I am grateful and relieved that since that
time, the proportion of granny porn spam has dropped to virtually nothing.
However, I am disturbed to report that in its place I am now receiving an
equally obnoxious proportion of animal porn ads.  Donkey shows, horse
cumshots, girls with monkeys... my inbox is full of this junk.  Can we move
on to something else, please?  If you absolutely must send me porn spam, can
you at least attempt to send me something remotely interesting?  
Thanks.  


#14 of 20 by keesan on Mon Jul 14 21:19:26 2003:

I have no idea what my porn spam is about since it is html.  I just report
it to spamcop and delete it.  Most of it seems to be aimed at men.


#15 of 20 by jaklumen on Mon Jul 14 23:33:09 2003:

resp:6  I agree.  Did beady honestly think I was going to try to send 
that out?  Hahahaha.  Write me another.


#16 of 20 by scg on Tue Jul 15 21:57:59 2003:

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokebushbizproposal.htm


#17 of 20 by scott on Tue Aug 5 12:11:07 2003:

(there's no "weird email" item?)

Scott, 1 Minute Preapproval
From: "Orville Mireille" <fiorenzacgopad@mx83.smartmortgageratesforyou.com>
To: "Scott " <scott@wwnet.net>

Bridgeport, next to that of his daughter Caroline and not far
from the ruins of Iranistan.
His unfortunate enterprise in the clock business had not
discouraged him from further business ventures. His pet city,
East Bridgeport, was growing rapidly. An enormous sewing-machine
factory had been built, employing a thousand workmen.


#18 of 20 by cross on Tue Aug 5 13:15:41 2003:

This response has been erased.



#19 of 20 by albaugh on Thu Aug 21 16:35:36 2003:

http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20030821.html


#20 of 20 by albaugh on Tue Sep 9 16:47:49 2003:

http://www.ucomics.com/foxtrot/2003/09/09/


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