tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:5 tod Jul 21 23:55:19 2004 Todd tod Jul 21 23:55:19 20026 responses total.
Moral of the story - Under no circumstances ask Tod for advice on ahem, intimate matters ;)
2nd moral of the story - untaker apparently hasn't had enough experience ;)
I'm not sure where the hell tod gets off either in saying things like this in the first place or in posting them to a public forum, but, just in case it might do some good for someone somewhere: Most men orgasm more easily than most women, especially young men. This doesn't mean you're abnormal or defective, it just means you need practice. If you're already at that stage of intimacy with your girlfriend/wife/whatever, chances are excellent that she'll be understanding enough to help. She won't laugh at you; if anything she'll be touched that you want to help make her happier. (If she isn't willing to help or if she does make fun of you, you may wish to reconsider your association with her.) There are lots of things that you can do, by yourself and with a partner, that can help. The best way to improve your control and performance is simply practice. Pay attention to your body and to how it feels. Learn how it feels when you're close to orgasm. Learn to recognize the point where it's no longer possible for you to prevent orgasm. I once heard it described as a one to ten scale of arousal. If 10 is orgasm, then you'll find that there's a point around, say, 8 where you just can't stop yourself anymore from reaching 10. Using that analogy, figure out what 7 feels like, so that if you want, you can stop for a minute and retreat to a comfortable 5 or 6. To do this, you may have to stop, or pull out, or look away, or think about baseball, or whatever. Figure out what works for you. Pay attention. With practice (and this will take time, be patient) you'll find that you can maintain a comfortable 6 or 7 for as long as you feel like it. If you've ever visited Lover's Lane or Deja Vu or the Safe Sex Store or whatever your local equivalent is, you'll no doubt have seen all kinds of creams and lubricants that are supposed to improve your performance or give you staying power or whatever. Avoid these; I'll explain why. There are two kinds. One kind contains a topical anesthetic, which will basically make your penis numb. This is a Bad Thing: the whole point of sex is to feel good, so why make it so you can't feel anything? That's just dumb. The other kind is just a complete rip-off, with no active ingredients whatsoever. I've actually seen them advertise "Pure Placebo Potency". These won't help you; don't give them your money. Another thing to think about it what kind of condom you're using. If you're having trouble controlling your orgasm, you might consider using a condom, at least temporarily, even if you're using other forms of birth control and have been tested for STDs. (I shouldn't need to say it, but if you aren't using birth control you damn well better be prepared for the consequences, and there's no reason whatsoever not to be tested for STDs.) Many kinds of condoms are designed to provide extra stimulation and can make it harder to control yourself. Avoid "Ultra Thin" and so forth. Shop around and figure out what works for you. If you're desperate, Trojan makes a condom called "Extended Pleasure" that contains a mild topical anesthetic. Again, this won't really help you in the long run, but it might help you deal with a bad day or give your girlfriend a treat or whatever. Of course, if your girlfriend is helping you with this, you should reward her efforts. Make sure she enjoys it; that's the whole point after all. Go down on her, use your hands, use a toy, whatever feels good to both of you. Ask her what feels good, and *listen* to what she says. Look around on the web. Search for "premature ejaculation", and you'll find a lot more on the subject. You'll be glad you did. Finally, remember that most men have these kinds of problems. You're not inadequate, or defective or whatever. You just need practice.
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Take this to the sex cf. There are young kids here!
If you're old enough to find this discussion, and read it, you're old enough to either get something good out of it or go onto the next item. You know, the next item where we're talking about our war in Iraq or the Middle East.
Nice response, Greg.
You have a point mary. Maybe they should just stay here and read this item
Yeah, really. How come they don't teach this kind of stuff in sex ed? ;>
because of all the sonofabitching christers everywhere trying to be the moral boss of everything.
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resp:10 (in re:9) they must be freakin' closed minded, then, because they sure as hell don't teach the stuff at home. Inquiring kids shouldn't have to go to the library or learn it from their friends. (I mostly went to the library and um, other media.. yeah.) resp:5 Actually, it wouldn't be a bad idea to maybe link this to the sex/cflirt cf-- it's been kinda quiet and could use a new item. (It's sometimes nice to have an agora item linked to one of the other less active cfs.)
mynxcat, the sex cf is not closed to minors. It's not closed at all.
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I've seen untaker around before. Seemed a little out of character, but hey, it's been a while
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That I agree with
UNTAKER IS A PERVERT.
heh.
With everything else in this conference, it's silly to suggest we censor reasonable sex advice because kids might read it.
...or unreasonable sex advice because tod posted it.
and furthermore - does everyone think the chick was lying? it ain't probable, but is possible that she came twice in 10 minutes. :P
With a guy who'd never done it before? I'll agree on not probable, but possible. Maybe she gives good directions, and he listens well.
Maybe she'd never been paid that kind of attention and was incredibly susceptible to its stimulating effect.
maybe she was doin' it for herself.
There's a pretty wide variety of responsiveness in women; sometimes even in the same woman. I don't automatically accept that she was lying. Neither do I automatically accept that it's any of my business.
You have several choices: